[13958] Chapter 41
[13959]
[13960] Far different was Leonard's development. The months after
[13961] Oniton, whatever minor troubles they might bring him, were
[13962] all overshadowed by Remorse. When Helen looked back she
[13963] could philosophize, or she could look into the future and
[13964] plan for her child. But the father saw nothing beyond his
[13965] own sin. Weeks afterwards, in the midst of other
[13966] occupations, he would suddenly cry out, "Brute--you brute, I
[13967] couldn't have--" and be rent into two people who held
[13968] dialogues. Or brown rain would descend, blotting out faces
[13969] and the sky. Even Jacky noticed the change in him. Most
[13970] terrible were his sufferings when he awoke from sleep.
[13971] Sometimes he was happy at first, but grew conscious of a
[13972] burden hanging to him and weighing down his thoughts when
[13973] they would move. Or little irons scorched his body. Or a
[13974] sword stabbed him. He would sit at the edge of his bed,
[13975] holding his heart and moaning, "Oh what SHALL I do, whatever
[13976] SHALL I do?" Nothing brought ease. He could put distance
[13977] between him and the trespass, but it grew in his soul.
[13978]
[13979] Remorse is not among the eternal verities. The Greeks
[13980] were right to dethrone her. Her action is too capricious,
[13981] as though the Erinyes selected for punishment only certain
[13982] men and certain sins. And of all means to regeneration
[13983] Remorse is surely the most wasteful. It cuts away healthy
[13984] tissues with the poisoned. It is a knife that probes far
[13985] deeper than the evil. Leonard was driven straight through
[13986] its torments and emerged pure, but enfeebled--a better man,
[13987] who would never lose control of himself again, but also a
[13988] smaller, who had less to control. Nor did purity mean
[13989] peace. The use of the knife can become a habit as hard to
[13990] shake off as passion itself, and Leonard continued to start
[13991] with a cry out of dreams.
[13992]
[13993] He built up a situation that was far enough from the
[13994] truth. It never occurred to him that Helen was to blame.
[13995] He forgot the intensity of their talk, the charm that had
[13996] been lent him by sincerity, the magic of Oniton under
[13997] darkness and of the whispering river. Helen loved the
[13998] absolute. Leonard had been ruined absolutely, and had
[13999] appeared to her as a man apart, isolated from the world. A
[14000] real man, who cared for adventure and beauty, who desired to
[14001] live decently and pay his way, who could have travelled more
[14002] gloriously through life than the Juggernaut car that was
[14003] crushing him. Memories of Evie's wedding had warped her,
[14004] the starched servants, the yards of uneaten food, the rustle
[14005] of overdressed women, motor-cars oozing grease on the
[14006] gravel, rubbish on a pretentious band. She had tasted the
[14007] lees of this on her arrival: in the darkness, after failure,
[14008] they intoxicated her. She and the victim seemed alone in a
[14009] world of unreality, and she loved him absolutely, perhaps
[14010] for half an hour.
[14011]
[14012] In the morning she was gone. The note that she left,
[14013] tender and hysterical in tone, and intended to be most kind,
[14014] hurt her lover terribly. It was as if some work of art had
[14015] been broken by him, some picture in the National Gallery
[14016] slashed out of its frame. When he recalled her talents and
[14017] her social position, he felt that the first passerby had a
[14018] right to shoot him down. He was afraid of the waitress and
[14019] the porters at the railway-station. He was afraid at first
[14020] of his wife, though later he was to regard her with a
[14021] strange new tenderness, and to think, "There is nothing to
[14022] choose between us, after all."
[14023]
[14024] The expedition to Shropshire crippled the Basts
[14025] permanently. Helen in her flight forgot to settle the hotel
[14026] bill, and took their return tickets away with her; they had
[14027] to pawn Jacky's bangles to get home, and the smash came a
[14028] few days afterwards. It is true that Helen offered him five
[14029] thousands pounds, but such a sum meant nothing to him. He
[14030] could not see that the girl was desperately righting
[14031] herself, and trying to save something out of the disaster,
[14032] if it was only five thousand pounds. But he had to live
[14033] somehow. He turned to his family, and degraded himself to a
[14034] professional beggar. There was nothing else for him to do.
[14035]
[14036] "A letter from Leonard," thought Blanche, his sister;
[14037] "and after all this time." She hid it, so that her husband
[14038] should not see, and when he had gone to his work read it
[14039] with some emotion, and sent the prodigal a little money out
[14040] of her dress allowance.
[14041]
[14042] "A letter from Leonard!" said the other sister, Laura, a
[14043] few days later. She showed it to her husband. He wrote a
[14044] cruel insolent reply, but sent more money than Blanche, so
[14045] Leonard soon wrote to him again.
[14046]
[14047] And during the winter the system was developed. Leonard
[14048] realized that they need never starve, because it would be
[14049] too painful for his relatives. Society is based on the
[14050] family, and the clever wastrel can exploit this
[14051] indefinitely. Without a generous thought on either side,
[14052] pounds and pounds passed. The donors disliked Leonard, and
[14053] he grew to hate them intensely. When Laura censured his
[14054] immoral marriage, he thought bitterly, "She minds that!
[14055] What would she say if she knew the truth?" When Blanche's
[14056] husband offered him work, he found some pretext for avoiding
[14057] it. He had wanted work keenly at Oniton, but too much
[14058] anxiety had shattered him; he was joining the unemployable.
[14059] When his brother, the lay-reader, did not reply to a letter,
[14060] he wrote again, saying that he and Jacky would come down to
[14061] his village on foot. He did not intend this as blackmail.
[14062] Still, the brother sent a postal order, and it became part
[14063] of the system. And so passed his winter and his spring.
[14064]
[14065] In the horror there are two bright spots. He never
[14066] confused the past. He remained alive, and blessed are those
[14067] who live, if it is only to a sense of sinfulness. The
[14068] anodyne of muddledom, by which most men blur and blend their
[14069] mistakes, never passed Leonard's lips--
[14070]
[14071] And if I drink oblivion of a day,
[14072] So shorten I the stature of my soul.
[14073]
[14074] It is a hard saying, and a hard man wrote it, but it
[14075] lies at the foot of all character.
[14076]
[14077] And the other bright spot was his tenderness for Jacky.
[14078] He pitied her with nobility now--not the contemptuous pity
[14079] of a man who sticks to a woman through thick and thin. He
[14080] tried to be less irritable. He wondered what her hungry
[14081] eyes desired--nothing that she could express, or that he or
[14082] any man could give her. Would she ever receive the justice
[14083] that is mercy--the justice for by-products that the world is
[14084] too busy to bestow? She was fond of flowers, generous with
[14085] money, and not revengeful. If she had borne him a child he
[14086] might have cared for her. Unmarried, Leonard would never
[14087] have begged; he would have flickered out and died. But the
[14088] whole of life is mixed. He had to provide for Jacky, and
[14089] went down dirty paths that she might have a few feathers and
[14090] dishes of food that suited her.
[14091]
[14092] One day he caught sight of Margaret and her brother. He
[14093] was in St. Paul's. He had entered the cathedral partly to
[14094] avoid the rain and partly to see a picture that had educated
[14095] him in former years. But the light was bad, the picture ill
[14096] placed, and Time and Judgment were inside him now. Death
[14097] alone still charmed him, with her lap of poppies, on which
[14098] all men shall sleep. He took one glance, and turned
[14099] aimlessly away towards a chair. Then down the nave he saw
[14100] Miss Schlegel and her brother. They stood in the fairway of
[14101] passengers, and their faces were extremely grave. He was
[14102] perfectly certain that they were in trouble about their sister.
[14103]
[14104] Once outside--and he fled immediately--he wished that he
[14105] had spoken to them. What was his life? What were a few
[14106] angry words, or even imprisonment? He had done wrong--that
[14107] was the true terror. Whatever they might know, he would
[14108] tell them everything he knew. He re-entered St. Paul's.
[14109] But they had moved in his absence, and had gone to lay their
[14110] difficulties before Mr. Wilcox and Charles.
[14111]
[14112] The sight of Margaret turned remorse into new channels.
[14113] He desired to confess, and though the desire is proof of a
[14114] weakened nature, which is about to lose the essence of human
[14115] intercourse, it did not take an ignoble form. He did not
[14116] suppose that confession would bring him happiness. It was
[14117] rather that he yearned to get clear of the tangle. So does
[14118] the suicide yearn. The impulses are akin, and the crime of
[14119] suicide lies rather in its disregard for the feelings of
[14120] those whom we leave behind. Confession need harm no one--it
[14121] can satisfy that test--and though it was un-English, and
[14122] ignored by our Anglican cathedral, Leonard had a right to
[14123] decide upon it.
[14124]
[14125] Moreover, he trusted Margaret. He wanted her hardness
[14126] now. That cold, intellectual nature of hers would be just,
[14127] if unkind. He would do whatever she told him, even if he
[14128] had to see Helen. That was the supreme punishment she would
[14129] exact. And perhaps she would tell him how Helen was. That
[14130] was the supreme reward.
[14131]
[14132] He knew nothing about Margaret, not even whether she was
[14133] married to Mr. Wilcox, and tracking her out took several
[14134] days. That evening he toiled through the wet to Wickham
[14135] Place, where the new flats were now appearing. Was he also
[14136] the cause of their move? Were they expelled from society on
[14137] his account? Thence to a public library, but could find no
[14138] satisfactory Schlegel in the directory. On the morrow he
[14139] searched again. He hung about outside Mr. Wilcox's office
[14140] at lunch time, and, as the clerks came out said: "Excuse me,
[14141] sir, but is your boss married?" Most of them stared, some
[14142] said, "What's that to you?" but one, who had not yet
[14143] acquired reticence, told him what he wished. Leonard could
[14144] not learn the private address. That necessitated more
[14145] trouble with directories and tubes. Ducie Street was not
[14146] discovered till the Monday, the day that Margaret and her
[14147] husband went down on their hunting expedition to Howards End.
[14148]
[14149] He called at about four o'clock. The weather had
[14150] changed, and the sun shone gaily on the ornamental
[14151] steps--black and white marble in triangles. Leonard lowered
[14152] his eyes to them after ringing the bell. He felt in curious
[14153] health: doors seemed to be opening and shutting inside his
[14154] body, and he had been obliged to steep sitting up in bed,
[14155] with his back propped against the wall. When the
[14156] parlourmaid came he could not see her face; the brown rain
[14157] had descended suddenly.
[14158]
[14159] "Does Mrs. Wilcox live here?" he asked.
[14160]
[14161] "She's out," was the answer.
[14162]
[14163] "When will she be back?"
[14164]
[14165] "I'll ask," said the parlourmaid.
[14166]
[14167] Margaret had given instructions that no one who
[14168] mentioned her name should ever be rebuffed. Putting the
[14169] door on the chain--for Leonard's appearance demanded
[14170] this--she went through to the smoking-room, which was
[14171] occupied by Tibby. Tibby was asleep. He had had a good
[14172] lunch. Charles Wilcox had not yet rung him up for the
[14173] distracting interview. He said drowsily: "I don't know.
[14174] Hilton. Howards End. Who is it?"
[14175]
[14176] "I'll ask, sir."
[14177]
[14178] "No, don't bother."
[14179]
[14180] "They have taken the car to Howards End," said the
[14181] parlourmaid to Leonard.
[14182]
[14183] He thanked her, and asked whereabouts that place was.
[14184]
[14185] "You appear to want to know a good deal," she remarked.
[14186] But Margaret had forbidden her to be mysterious. She told
[14187] him against her better judgment that Howards End was in
[14188] Hertfordshire.
[14189]
[14190] "Is it a village, please?"
[14191]
[14192] "Village! It's Mr. Wilcox's private house--at least,
[14193] it's one of them. Mrs. Wilcox keeps her furniture there.
[14194] Hilton is the village."
[14195]
[14196] "Yes. And when will they be back?"
[14197]
[14198] "Mr. Schlegel doesn't know. We can't know everything,
[14199] can we?" She shut him out, and went to attend to the
[14200] telephone, which was ringing furiously.
[14201]
[14202] He loitered away another night of agony. Confession
[14203] grew more difficult. As soon as possible he went to bed.
[14204] He watched a patch of moonlight cross the floor of their
[14205] lodging, and, as sometimes happens when the mind is
[14206] overtaxed, he fell asleep for the rest of the room, but kept
[14207] awake for the patch of moonlight. Horrible! Then began one
[14208] of those disintegrating dialogues. Part of him said: "Why
[14209] horrible? It's ordinary light from the room." "But it
[14210] moves." "So does the moon." "But it is a clenched fist."
[14211] "Why not?" "But it is going to touch me." "Let it." And,
[14212] seeming to gather motion, the patch ran up his blanket.
[14213] Presently a blue snake appeared; then another, parallel to
[14214] it. "Is there life in the moon?" "Of course." "But I
[14215] thought it was uninhabited." "Not by Time, Death, Judgment,
[14216] and the smaller snakes." "Smaller snakes!" said Leonard
[14217] indignantly and aloud. "What a notion!" By a rending
[14218] effort of the will he woke the rest of the room up. Jacky,
[14219] the bed, their food, their clothes on the chair, gradually
[14220] entered his consciousness, and the horror vanished outwards,
[14221] like a ring that is spreading through water.
[14222]
[14223] "I say, Jacky, I'm going out for a bit."
[14224]
[14225] She was breathing regularly. The patch of light fell
[14226] clear of the striped blanket, and began to cover the shawl
[14227] that lay over her feet. Why had he been afraid? He went to
[14228] the window, and saw that the moon was descending through a
[14229] clear sky. He saw her volcanoes, and the bright expanses
[14230] that a gracious error has named seas. They paled, for the
[14231] sun, who had lit them up, was coming to light the earth.
[14232] Sea of Serenity, Sea of Tranquillity, Ocean of the Lunar
[14233] Storms, merged into one lucent drop, itself to slip into the
[14234] sempiternal dawn. And he had been afraid of the moon!
[14235]
[14236] He dressed among the contending lights, and went through
[14237] his money. It was running low again, but enough for a
[14238] return ticket to Hilton. As it clinked Jacky opened her eyes.
[14239]
[14240] "Hullo, Len! What ho, Len!"
[14241]
[14242] "What ho, Jacky! see you again later."
[14243]
[14244] She turned over and slept.
[14245]
[14246] The house was unlocked, their landlord being a salesman
[14247] at Convent Garden. Leonard passed out and made his way down
[14248] to the station. The train, though it did not start for an
[14249] hour, was already drawn up at the end of the platform, and
[14250] he lay down in it and slept. With the first jolt he was in
[14251] daylight; they had left the gateways of King's Cross, and
[14252] were under blue sky. Tunnels followed, and after each the
[14253] sky grew bluer, and from the embankment at Finsbury Park he
[14254] had his first sight of the sun. It rolled along behind the
[14255] eastern smokes--a wheel, whose fellow was the descending
[14256] moon--and as yet it seemed the servant of the blue sky, not
[14257] its lord. He dozed again. Over Tewin Water it was day. To
[14258] the left fell the shadow of the embankment and its arches;
[14259] to the right Leonard saw up into the Tewin Woods and towards
[14260] the church, with its wild legend of immortality. Six forest
[14261] trees--that is a fact--grow out of one of the graves in
[14262] Tewin churchyard. The grave's occupant--that is the
[14263] legend--is an atheist, who declared that if God existed, six
[14264] forest trees would grow out of her grave. These things in
[14265] Hertfordshire; and farther afield lay the house of a
[14266] hermit--Mrs. Wilcox had known him--who barred himself up,
[14267] and wrote prophecies, and gave all he had to the poor.
[14268] While, powdered in between, were the villas of business men,
[14269] who saw life more steadily, though with the steadiness of
[14270] the half-closed eye. Over all the sun was streaming, to all
[14271] the birds were singing, to all the primroses were yellow,
[14272] and the speedwell blue, and the country, however they
[14273] interpreted her, was uttering her cry of "now." She did not
[14274] free Leonard yet, and the knife plunged deeper into his
[14275] heart as the train drew up at Hilton. But remorse had
[14276] become beautiful.
[14277]
[14278] Hilton was asleep, or at the earliest, breakfasting.
[14279] Leonard noticed the contrast when he stepped out of it into
[14280] the country. Here men had been up since dawn. Their hours
[14281] were ruled, not by a London office, but by the movements of
[14282] the crops and the sun. That they were men of the finest
[14283] type only the sentimentalist can declare. But they kept to
[14284] the life of daylight. They are England's hope. Clumsily
[14285] they carry forward the torch of the sun, until such time as
[14286] the nation sees fit to take it up. Half clodhopper, half
[14287] board-school prig, they can still throw back to a nobler
[14288] stock, and breed yeomen.
[14289]
[14290] At the chalk pit a motor passed him. In it was another
[14291] type, whom Nature favours--the Imperial. Healthy, ever in
[14292] motion, it hopes to inherit the earth. It breeds as quickly
[14293] as the yeoman, and as soundly; strong is the temptation to
[14294] acclaim it as a super-yeoman, who carries his country's
[14295] virtue overseas. But the Imperialist is not what he thinks
[14296] or seems. He is a destroyer. He prepares the way for
[14297] cosmopolitanism, and though his ambitions may be fulfilled,
[14298] the earth that he inherits will be grey.
[14299]
[14300] To Leonard, intent on his private sin, there came the
[14301] conviction of innate goodness elsewhere. It was not the
[14302] optimism which he had been taught at school. Again and
[14303] again must the drums tap, and the goblins stalk over the
[14304] universe before joy can be purged of the superficial. It
[14305] was rather paradoxical, and arose from his sorrow. Death
[14306] destroys a man, but the idea of death saves him--that is the
[14307] best account of it that has yet been given. Squalor and
[14308] tragedy can beckon to all that is great in us, and
[14309] strengthen the wings of love. They can beckon; it is not
[14310] certain that they will, for they are not love's servants.
[14311] But they can beckon, and the knowledge of this incredible
[14312] truth comforted him.
[14313]
[14314] As he approached the house all thought stopped.
[14315] Contradictory notions stood side by side in his mind. He
[14316] was terrified but happy, ashamed, but had done no sin. He
[14317] knew the confession: "Mrs. Wilcox, I have done wrong," but
[14318] sunrise had robbed its meaning, and he felt rather on a
[14319] supreme adventure.
[14320]
[14321] He entered a garden, steadied himself against a
[14322] motor-car that he found in it, found a door open and entered
[14323] a house. Yes, it would be very easy. From a room to the
[14324] left he heard voices, Margaret's amongst them. His own name
[14325] was called aloud, and a man whom he had never seen said,
[14326] "Oh, is he there? I am not surprised. I now thrash him
[14327] within an inch of his life."
[14328]
[14329] "Mrs. Wilcox," said Leonard, "I have done wrong."
[14330]
[14331] The man took him by the collar and cried, "Bring me a
[14332] stick." Women were screaming. A stick, very bright,
[14333] descended. It hurt him, not where it descended, but in the
[14334] heart. Books fell over him in a shower. Nothing had sense.
[14335]
[14336] "Get some water," commanded Charles, who had all through
[14337] kept very calm. "He's shamming. Of course I only used the
[14338] blade. Here, carry him out into the air."
[14339]
[14340] Thinking that he understood these things, Margaret
[14341] obeyed him. They laid Leonard, who was dead, on the gravel;
[14342] Helen poured water over him.
[14343]
[14344] "That's enough," said Charles.
[14345]
[14346] "Yes, murder's enough," said Miss Avery, coming out of
[14347] the house with the sword.
[14348]
[14349]
[14350] Chapter 42
[14351]
[14352] When Charles left Ducie Street he had caught the first train
[14353] home, but had no inkling of the newest development until
[14354] late at night. Then his father, who had dined alone, sent
[14355] for him, and in very grave tones inquired for Margaret.
[14356]
[14357] "I don't know where she is, pater," said Charles.
[14358] "Dolly kept back dinner nearly an hour for her."
[14359]
[14360] "Tell me when she comes in--."
[14361]
[14362] Another hour passed. The servants went to bed, and
[14363] Charles visited his father again, to receive further
[14364] instructions. Mrs. Wilcox had still not returned.
[14365]
[14366] "I'll sit up for her as late as you like, but she can
[14367] hardly be coming. Isn't she stopping with her sister at the
[14368] hotel?"
[14369]
[14370] "Perhaps," said Mr. Wilcox thoughtfully--"perhaps."
[14371]
[14372] "Can I do anything for you, sir?"
[14373]
[14374] "Not tonight, my boy."
[14375]
[14376] Mr. Wilcox liked being called sir. He raised his eyes
[14377] and gave his son more open a look of tenderness than he
[14378] usually ventured. He saw Charles as little boy and strong
[14379] man in one. Though his wife had proved unstable his
[14380] children were left to him.
[14381]
[14382] After midnight he tapped on Charles's door. "I can't
[14383] sleep," he said. "I had better have a talk with you and get
[14384] it over."
[14385]
[14386] He complained of the heat. Charles took him out into
[14387] the garden, and they paced up and down in their
[14388] dressing-gowns. Charles became very quiet as the story
[14389] unrolled; he had known all along that Margaret was as bad as
[14390] her sister.
[14391]
[14392] "She will feel differently in the morning," said Mr.
[14393] Wilcox, who had of course said nothing about Mrs. Bast.
[14394] "But I cannot let this kind of thing continue without
[14395] comment. I am morally certain that she is with her sister
[14396] at Howards End. The house is mine--and, Charles, it will be
[14397] yours--and when I say that no one is to live there, I mean
[14398] that no one is to live there. I won't have it." He looked
[14399] angrily at the moon. "To my mind this question is connected
[14400] with something far greater, the rights of property itself."
[14401]
[14402] "Undoubtedly," said Charles.
[14403]
[14404] Mr. Wilcox linked his arm in his son's, but somehow
[14405] liked him less as he told him more. "I don't want you to
[14406] conclude that my wife and I had anything of the nature of a
[14407] quarrel. She was only over-wrought, as who would not be? I
[14408] shall do what I can for Helen, but on the understanding that
[14409] they clear out of the house at once. Do you see? That is a
[14410] sine qua non."
[14411]
[14412] "Then at eight tomorrow I may go up in the car?"
[14413]
[14414] "Eight or earlier. Say that you are acting as my
[14415] representative, and, of course, use no violence, Charles."
[14416]
[14417] On the morrow, as Charles returned, leaving Leonard dead
[14418] upon the gravel, it did not seem to him that he had used
[14419] violence. Death was due to heart disease. His stepmother
[14420] herself had said so, and even Miss Avery had acknowledged
[14421] that he only used the flat of the sword. On his way through
[14422] the village he informed the police, who thanked him, and
[14423] said there must be an inquest. He found his father in the
[14424] garden shading his eyes from the sun.
[14425]
[14426] "It has been pretty horrible," said Charles gravely.
[14427] "They were there, and they had the man up there with them too."
[14428]
[14429] "What--what man?"
[14430]
[14431] "I told you last night. His name was Bast."
[14432]
[14433] "My God, is it possible?" said Mr. Wilcox. "In your
[14434] mother's house! Charles, in your mother's house!"
[14435]
[14436] "I know, pater. That was what I felt. As a matter of
[14437] fact, there is no need to trouble about the man. He was in
[14438] the last stages of heart disease, and just before I could
[14439] show him what I thought of him he went off. The police are
[14440] seeing about it at this moment."
[14441]
[14442] Mr. Wilcox listened attentively.
[14443]
[14444] "I got up there--oh, it couldn't have been more than
[14445] half-past seven. The Avery woman was lighting a fire for
[14446] them. They were still upstairs. I waited in the
[14447] drawing-room. We were all moderately civil and collected,
[14448] though I had my suspicions. I gave them your message, and
[14449] Mrs. Wilcox said, 'Oh yes, I see; yes,' in that way of hers."
[14450]
[14451] "Nothing else?"
[14452]
[14453] "I promised to tell you, 'with her love,' that she was
[14454] going to Germany with her sister this evening. That was all
[14455] we had time for."
[14456]
[14457] Mr. Wilcox seemed relieved.
[14458]
[14459] "Because by then I suppose the man got tired of hiding,
[14460] for suddenly Mrs. Wilcox screamed out his name. I
[14461] recognized it, and I went for him in the hall. Was I right,
[14462] pater? I thought things were going a little too far."
[14463]
[14464] "Right, my dear boy? I don't know. But you would have
[14465] been no son of mine if you hadn't. Then did he
[14466] just--just--crumple up as you said?" He shrunk from the
[14467] simple word.
[14468]
[14469] "He caught hold of the bookcase, which came down over
[14470] him. So I merely put the sword down and carried him into
[14471] the garden. We all thought he was shamming. However, he's
[14472] dead right enough. Awful business!"
[14473]
[14474] "Sword?" cried his father, with anxiety in his voice.
[14475] "What sword? Whose sword?"
[14476]
[14477] "A sword of theirs."
[14478]
[14479] "What were you doing with it?"
[14480]
[14481] "Well, didn't you see, pater, I had to snatch up the
[14482] first thing handy I hadn't a riding-whip or stick. I caught
[14483] him once or twice over the shoulders with the flat of their
[14484] old German sword."
[14485]
[14486] "Then what?"
[14487]
[14488] "He pulled over the bookcase, as I said, and fell," said
[14489] Charles, with a sigh. It was no fun doing errands for his
[14490] father, who was never quite satisfied.
[14491]
[14492] "But the real cause was heart disease? Of that you're sure?"
[14493]
[14494] "That or a fit. However, we shall hear more than enough
[14495] at the inquest on such unsavoury topics."
[14496]
[14497] They went into breakfast. Charles had a racking
[14498] headache, consequent on motoring before food. He was also
[14499] anxious about the future, reflecting that the police must
[14500] detain Helen and Margaret for the inquest and ferret the
[14501] whole thing out. He saw himself obliged to leave Hilton.
[14502] One could not afford to live near the scene of a scandal--it
[14503] was not fair on one's wife. His comfort was that the
[14504] pater's eyes were opened at last. There would be a horrible
[14505] smash up, and probably a separation from Margaret; then they
[14506] would all start again, more as they had been in his mother's
[14507] time.
[14508]
[14509] "I think I'll go round to the police-station," said his
[14510] father when breakfast was over.
[14511]
[14512] "What for?" cried Dolly, who had still not been "told."
[14513]
[14514] "Very well, sir. Which car will you have?"
[14515]
[14516] "I think I'll walk."
[14517]
[14518] "It's a good half-mile," said Charles, stepping into the
[14519] garden. "The sun's very hot for April. Shan't I take you
[14520] up, and then, perhaps, a little spin round by Tewin?"
[14521]
[14522] "You go on as if I didn't know my own mind," said Mr.
[14523] Wilcox fretfully. Charles hardened his mouth. "You young
[14524] fellows' one idea is to get into a motor. I tell you, I
[14525] want to walk: I'm very fond of walking."
[14526]
[14527] "Oh, all right; I'm about the house if you want me for
[14528] anything. I thought of not going up to the office today, if
[14529] that is your wish."
[14530]
[14531] "It is, indeed, my boy," said Mr. Wilcox, and laid a
[14532] hand on his sleeve.
[14533]
[14534] Charles did not like it; he was uneasy about his father,
[14535] who did not seem himself this morning. There was a petulant
[14536] touch about him--more like a woman. Could it be that he was
[14537] growing old? The Wilcoxes were not lacking in affection;
[14538] they had it royally, but they did not know how to use it.
[14539] It was the talent in the napkin, and, for a warm-hearted
[14540] man, Charles had conveyed very little joy. As he watched
[14541] his father shuffling up the road, he had a vague regret--a
[14542] wish that something had been different somewhere--a wish
[14543] (though he did not express it thus) that he had been taught
[14544] to say "I" in his youth. He meant to make up for Margaret's
[14545] defection, but knew that his father had been very happy with
[14546] her until yesterday. How had she done it? By some
[14547] dishonest trick, no doubt--but how?
[14548]
[14549] Mr. Wilcox reappeared at eleven, looking very tired.
[14550] There was to be an inquest on Leonard's' body tomorrow, and
[14551] the police required his son to attend.
[14552]
[14553] "I expected that," said Charles. "I shall naturally be
[14554] the most important witness there."
[14555]
[14556]
[14557] Chapter 43
[14558]
[14559] Out of the turmoil and horror that had begun with Aunt
[14560] Juley's illness and was not even to end with Leonard's
[14561] death, it seemed impossible to Margaret that healthy life
[14562] should re-emerge. Events succeeded in a logical, yet
[14563] senseless, train. People lost their humanity, and took
[14564] values as arbitrary as those in a pack of playing-cards. It
[14565] was natural that Henry should do this and cause Helen to do
[14566] that, and then think her wrong for doing it; natural that
[14567] she herself should think him wrong; natural that Leonard
[14568] should want to know how Helen was, and come, and Charles be
[14569] angry with him for coming--natural, but unreal. In this
[14570] jangle of causes and effects what had become of their true
[14571] selves? Here Leonard lay dead in the garden, from natural
[14572] causes; yet life was a deep, deep river, death a blue sky,
[14573] life was a house, death a wisp of hay, a flower, a tower,
[14574] life and death were anything and everything, except this
[14575] ordered insanity, where the king takes the queen, and the
[14576] ace the king. Ah, no; there was beauty and adventure
[14577] behind, such as the man at her feet had yearned for; there
[14578] was hope this side of the grave; there were truer
[14579] relationships beyond the limits that fetter us now. As a
[14580] prisoner looks up and sees stars beckoning, so she, from the
[14581] turmoil and horror of those days, caught glimpses of the
[14582] diviner wheels.
[14583]
[14584] And Helen, dumb with fright, but trying to keep calm for
[14585] the child's sake, and Miss Avery, calm, but murmuring
[14586] tenderly, "No one ever told the lad he'll have a
[14587] child"--they also reminded her that horror is not the end.
[14588] To what ultimate harmony we tend she did not know, but there
[14589] seemed great chance that a child would be born into the
[14590] world, to take the great chances of beauty and adventure
[14591] that the world offers. She moved through the sunlit garden,
[14592] gathering narcissi, crimson-eyed and white. There was
[14593] nothing else to be done; the time for telegrams and anger
[14594] was over, and it seemed wisest that the hands of Leonard
[14595] should be folded on his breast and be filled with flowers.
[14596] Here was the father; leave it at that. Let Squalor be
[14597] turned into Tragedy, whose eyes are the stars, and whose
[14598] hands hold the sunset and the dawn.
[14599]
[14600] And even the influx of officials, even the return of the
[14601] doctor, vulgar and acute, could not shake her belief in the
[14602] eternity of beauty. Science explained people, but could not
[14603] understand them. After long centuries among the bones and
[14604] muscles it might be advancing to knowledge of the nerves,
[14605] but this would never give understanding. One could open the
[14606] heart to Mr. Mansbridge and his sort without discovering its
[14607] secrets to them, for they wanted everything down in black
[14608] and white, and black and white was exactly what they were
[14609] left with.
[14610]
[14611] They questioned her closely about Charles. She never
[14612] suspected why. Death had come, and the doctor agreed that
[14613] it was due to heart disease. They asked to see her father's
[14614] sword. She explained that Charles's anger was natural, but
[14615] mistaken. Miserable questions about Leonard followed, all
[14616] of which she answered unfalteringly. Then back to Charles
[14617] again. "No doubt Mr. Wilcox may have induced death," she
[14618] said; "but if it wasn't one thing it would have been
[14619] another, as you yourselves know." At last they thanked her,
[14620] and took the sword and the body down to Hilton. She began
[14621] to pick up the books from the floor.
[14622]
[14623] Helen had gone to the farm. It was the best place for
[14624] her, since she had to wait for the inquest. Though, as if
[14625] things were not hard enough, Madge and her husband had
[14626] raised trouble; they did not see why they should receive the
[14627] offscourings of Howards End. And, of course, they were
[14628] right. The whole world was going to be right, and amply
[14629] avenge any brave talk against the conventions. "Nothing
[14630] matters," the Schlegels had said in the past, "except one's
[14631] self-respect and that of one's friends." When the time came,
[14632] other things mattered terribly. However, Madge had yielded,
[14633] and Helen was assured of peace for one day and night, and
[14634] tomorrow she would return to Germany.
[14635]
[14636] As for herself, she determined to go too. No message
[14637] came from Henry; perhaps he expected her to apologize. Now
[14638] that she had time to think over her own tragedy, she was
[14639] unrepentant. She neither forgave him for his behaviour nor
[14640] wished to forgive him. Her speech to him seemed perfect.
[14641] She would not have altered a word. It had to be uttered
[14642] once in a life, to adjust the lopsidedness of the world. It
[14643] was spoken not only to her husband, but to thousands of men
[14644] like him--a protest against the inner darkness in high
[14645] places that comes with a commercial age. Though he would
[14646] build up his life without hers, she could not apologize. He
[14647] had refused to connect, on the clearest issue that can be
[14648] laid before a man, and their love must take the consequences.
[14649]
[14650] No, there was nothing more to be done. They had tried
[14651] not to go over the precipice but perhaps the fall was
[14652] inevitable. And it comforted her to think that the future
[14653] was certainly inevitable: cause and effect would go jangling
[14654] forward to some goal doubtless, but to none that she could
[14655] imagine. At such moments the soul retires within, to float
[14656] upon the bosom of a deeper stream, and has communion with
[14657] the dead, and sees the world's glory not diminished, but
[14658] different in kind to what she has supposed. She alters her
[14659] focus until trivial things are blurred. Margaret had been
[14660] tending this way all the winter. Leonard's death brought
[14661] her to the goal. Alas! that Henry should fade, away as
[14662] reality emerged, and only her love for him should remain
[14663] clear, stamped with his image like the cameos we rescue out
[14664] of dreams.
[14665]
[14666] With unfaltering eye she traced his future. He would
[14667] soon present a healthy mind to the world again, and what did
[14668] he or the world care if he was rotten at the core? He would
[14669] grow into a rich, jolly old man, at times a little
[14670] sentimental about women, but emptying his glass with
[14671] anyone. Tenacious of power, he would keep Charles and the
[14672] rest dependent, and retire from business reluctantly and at
[14673] an advanced age. He would settle down--though she could not
[14674] realize this. In her eyes Henry was always moving and
[14675] causing others to move, until the ends of the earth met.
[14676] But in time he must get too tired to move, and settle down.
[14677] What next? The inevitable word. The release of the soul to
[14678] its appropriate Heaven.
[14679]
[14680] Would they meet in it? Margaret believed in immortality
[14681] for herself. An eternal future had always seemed natural to
[14682] her. And Henry believed in it for himself. Yet, would they
[14683] meet again? Are there not rather endless levels beyond the
[14684] grave, as the theory that he had censured teaches? And his
[14685] level, whether higher or lower, could it possibly be the
[14686] same as hers?
[14687]
[14688] Thus gravely meditating, she was summoned by him. He
[14689] sent up Crane in the motor. Other servants passed like
[14690] water, but the chauffeur remained, though impertinent and
[14691] disloyal. Margaret disliked Crane, and he knew it.
[14692]
[14693] "Is it the keys that Mr. Wilcox wants?" she asked.
[14694]
[14695] "He didn't say, madam."
[14696]
[14697] "You haven't any note for me?"
[14698]
[14699] "He didn't say, madam."
[14700]
[14701] After a moment's thought she locked up Howards End. It
[14702] was pitiable to see in it the stirrings of warmth that would
[14703] be quenched for ever. She raked out the fire that was
[14704] blazing in the kitchen, and spread the coals in the
[14705] gravelled yard. She closed the windows and drew the
[14706] curtains. Henry would probably sell the place now.
[14707]
[14708] She was determined not to spare him, for nothing new had
[14709] happened as far as they were concerned. Her mood might
[14710] never have altered from yesterday evening. He was standing
[14711] a little outside Charles's gate, and motioned the car to
[14712] stop. When his wife got out he said hoarsely: "I prefer to
[14713] discuss things with you outside."
[14714]
[14715] "It will be more appropriate in the road, I am afraid,"
[14716] said Margaret. "Did you get my message?"
[14717]
[14718] "What about?"
[14719]
[14720] "I am going to Germany with my sister. I must tell you
[14721] now that I shall make it my permanent home. Our talk last
[14722] night was more important than you have realized. I am
[14723] unable to forgive you and am leaving you."
[14724]
[14725] "I am extremely tired," said Henry, in injured tones.
[14726] "I have been walking about all the morning, and wish to sit down."
[14727]
[14728] "Certainly, if you will consent to sit on the grass."
[14729]
[14730] The Great North Road should have been bordered all its
[14731] length with glebe. Henry's kind had filched most of it.
[14732] She moved to the scrap opposite, wherein were the Six
[14733] Hills. They sat down on the farther side, so that they
[14734] could not be seen by Charles or Dolly.
[14735]
[14736] "Here are your keys," said Margaret. She tossed them
[14737] towards him. They fell on the sunlit slope of grass, and he
[14738] did not pick them up.
[14739]
[14740] "I have something to tell you," he said gently.
[14741]
[14742] She knew this superficial gentleness, this confession of
[14743] hastiness, that was only intended to enhance her admiration
[14744] of the male.
[14745]
[14746] "I don't want to hear it," she replied. "My sister is
[14747] going to be ill. My life is going to be with her now. We
[14748] must manage to build up something, she and I and her child."
[14749]
[14750] "Where are you going?"
[14751]
[14752] "Munich. We start after the inquest, if she is not too ill."
[14753]
[14754] "After the inquest?"
[14755]
[14756] "Yes."
[14757]
[14758] "Have you realized what the verdict at the inquest will be?"
[14759]
[14760] "Yes, heart disease."
[14761]
[14762] "No, my dear; manslaughter."
[14763]
[14764] Margaret drove her fingers through the grass. The hill
[14765] beneath her moved as if it was alive.
[14766]
[14767] "Manslaughter," repeated Mr. Wilcox. "Charles may go to
[14768] prison. I dare not tell him. I don't know what to do--what
[14769] to do. I'm broken--I'm ended. "
[14770]
[14771] No sudden warmth arose in her. She did not see that to
[14772] break him was her only hope. She did not enfold the
[14773] sufferer in her arms. But all through that day and the next
[14774] a new life began to move. The verdict was brought in.
[14775] Charles was committed for trial. It was against all reason
[14776] that he should be punished, but the law, being made in his
[14777] image, sentenced him to three years' imprisonment. Then
[14778] Henry's fortress gave way. He could bear no one but his
[14779] wife, he shambled up to Margaret afterwards and asked her to
[14780] do what she could with him. She did what seemed
[14781] easiest--she took him down to recruit at Howards End.
[14782]
[14783]
[14784] Chapter 44
[14785]
[14786] Tom's father was cutting the big meadow. He passed again
[14787] and again amid whirring blades and sweet odours of grass,
[14788] encompassing with narrowing circles the sacred centre of the
[14789] field. Tom was negotiating with Helen.
[14790]
[14791] "I haven't any idea," she replied. "Do you suppose baby
[14792] may, Meg?"
[14793]
[14794] Margaret put down her work and regarded them absently.
[14795] "What was that?" she asked.
[14796]
[14797] "Tom wants to know whether baby is old enough to play
[14798] with hay?"
[14799]
[14800] "I haven't the least notion," answered Margaret, and
[14801] took up her work again.
[14802]
[14803] "Now, Tom, baby is not to stand; he is not to lie on his
[14804] face; he is not to lie so that his head wags; he is not to
[14805] be teased or tickled; and he is not to be cut into two or
[14806] more pieces by the cutter. Will you be as careful as all that?"
[14807]
[14808] Tom held out his arms.
[14809]
[14810] "That child is a wonderful nursemaid," remarked Margaret.
[14811]
[14812] "He is fond of baby. That's why he does it!" was
[14813] Helen's answer. They're going to be lifelong friends."
[14814]
[14815] "Starting at the ages of six and one?"
[14816]
[14817] "Of course. It will be a great thing for Tom."
[14818]
[14819] "It may be a greater thing for baby."
[14820]
[14821] Fourteen months had passed, but Margaret still stopped
[14822] at Howards End. No better plan had occurred to her. The
[14823] meadow was being recut, the great red poppies were reopening
[14824] in the garden. July would follow with the little red
[14825] poppies among the wheat, August with the cutting of the
[14826] wheat. These little events would become part of her year
[14827] after year. Every summer she would fear lest the well
[14828] should give out, every winter lest the pipes should freeze;
[14829] every westerly gale might blow the wych-elm down and bring
[14830] the end of all things, and so she could not read or talk
[14831] during a westerly gale. The air was tranquil now. She and
[14832] her sister were sitting on the remains of Evie's mockery,
[14833] where the lawn merged into the field.
[14834]
[14835] "What a time they all are!" said Helen. "What can they
[14836] be doing inside?" Margaret, who was growing less talkative,
[14837] made no answer. The noise of the cutter came
[14838] intermittently, like the breaking of waves. Close by them a
[14839] man was preparing to scythe out one of the dell-holes.
[14840]
[14841] "I wish Henry was out to enjoy this," said Helen. "This
[14842] lovely weather and to be shut up in the house! It's very hard."
[14843]
[14844] "It has to be," said Margaret. "The hay-fever is his
[14845] chief objection against living here, but he thinks it worth while."
[14846]
[14847] "Meg, is or isn't he ill? I can't make out."
[14848]
[14849] "Not ill. Eternally tired. He has worked very hard all
[14850] his life, and noticed nothing. Those are the people who
[14851] collapse when they do notice a thing."
[14852]
[14853] "I suppose he worries dreadfully about his part of the tangle."
[14854]
[14855] "Dreadfully. That is why I wish Dolly had not come,
[14856] too, today. Still, he wanted them all to come. It has to be."
[14857]
[14858] "Why does he want them?"
[14859]
[14860] Margaret did not answer.
[14861]
[14862] "Meg, may I tell you something? I like Henry."
[14863]
[14864] "You'd be odd if you didn't," said Margaret.
[14865]
[14866] "I usen't to."
[14867]
[14868] "Usen't!" She lowered her eyes a moment to the black
[14869] abyss of the past. They had crossed it, always excepting
[14870] Leonard and Charles. They were building up a new life,
[14871] obscure, yet gilded with tranquillity. Leonard was dead;
[14872] Charles had two years more in prison. One usen't always to
[14873] see clearly before that time. It was different now.
[14874]
[14875] "I like Henry because he does worry."
[14876]
[14877] "And he likes you because you don't."
[14878]
[14879] Helen sighed. She seemed humiliated, and buried her
[14880] face in her hands. After a time she said: "Above love," a
[14881] transition less abrupt than it appeared.
[14882]
[14883] Margaret never stopped working.
[14884]
[14885] "I mean a woman's love for a man. I supposed I should
[14886] hang my life on to that once, and was driven up and down and
[14887] about as if something was worrying through me. But
[14888] everything is peaceful now; I seem cured. That Herr
[14889] Forstmeister, whom Frieda keeps writing about, must be a
[14890] noble character, but he doesn't see that I shall never marry
[14891] him or anyone. It isn't shame or mistrust of myself. I
[14892] simply couldn't. I'm ended. I used to be so dreamy about a
[14893] man's love as a girl, and think that for good or evil love
[14894] must be the great thing. But it hasn't been; it has been
[14895] itself a dream. Do you agree?"
[14896]
[14897] "I do not agree. I do not."
[14898]
[14899] "I ought to remember Leonard as my lover," said Helen,
[14900] stepping down into the field. "I tempted him, and killed
[14901] him and it is surely the least I can do. I would like to
[14902] throw out all my heart to Leonard on such an afternoon as
[14903] this. But I cannot. It is no good pretending. I am
[14904] forgetting him." Her eyes filled with tears. "How nothing
[14905] seems to match--how, my darling, my precious--" She broke
[14906] off. "Tommy!"
[14907]
[14908] "Yes, please?"
[14909]
[14910] "Baby's not to try and stand.--There's something wanting
[14911] in me. I see you loving Henry, and understanding him better
[14912] daily, and I know that death wouldn't part you in the
[14913] least. But I--Is it some awful appalling, criminal defect?"
[14914]
[14915] Margaret silenced her. She said: "It is only that
[14916] people are far more different than is pretended. All over
[14917] the world men and women are worrying because they cannot
[14918] develop as they are supposed to develop. Here and there
[14919] they have the matter out, and it comforts them. Don't fret
[14920] yourself, Helen. Develop what you have; love your child. I
[14921] do not love children. I am thankful to have none. I can
[14922] play with their beauty and charm, but that is all--nothing
[14923] real, not one scrap of what there ought to be. And
[14924] others--others go farther still, and move outside humanity
[14925] altogether. A place, as well as a person, may catch the
[14926] glow. Don't you see that all this leads to comfort in the
[14927] end? It is part of the battle against sameness.
[14928] Differences--eternal differences, planted by God in a single
[14929] family, so that there may always be colour; sorrow perhaps,
[14930] but colour in the daily grey. Then I can't have you
[14931] worrying about Leonard. Don't drag in the personal when it
[14932] will not come. Forget him."
[14933]
[14934] "Yes, yes, but what has Leonard got out of life?"
[14935]
[14936] "Perhaps an adventure."
[14937]
[14938] "Is that enough?"
[14939]
[14940] "Not for us. But for him."
[14941]
[14942] Helen took up a bunch of grass. She looked at the
[14943] sorrel, and the red and white and yellow clover, and the
[14944] quaker grass, and the daisies, and the bents that composed
[14945] it. She raised it to her face.
[14946]
[14947] "Is it sweetening yet?" asked Margaret.
[14948]
[14949] "No, only withered."
[14950]
[14951] "It will sweeten tomorrow."
[14952]
[14953] Helen smiled. "Oh, Meg, you are a person," she said.
[14954] "Think of the racket and torture this time last year. But
[14955] now I couldn't stop unhappy if I tried. What a change--and
[14956] all through you!"
[14957]
[14958] "Oh, we merely settled down. You and Henry learnt to
[14959] understand one another and to forgive, all through the
[14960] autumn and the winter."
[14961]
[14962] "Yes, but who settled us down?"
[14963]
[14964] Margaret did not reply. The scything had begun, and she
[14965] took off her pince-nez to watch it.
[14966]
[14967] "You!" cried Helen. "You did it all, sweetest, though
[14968] you're too stupid to see. Living here was your plan--I
[14969] wanted you; he wanted you; and every one said it was
[14970] impossible, but you knew. Just think of our lives without
[14971] you, Meg--I and baby with Monica, revolting by theory, he
[14972] handed about from Dolly to Evie. But you picked up the
[14973] pieces, and made us a home. Can't it strike you--even for a
[14974] moment--that your life has been heroic? Can't you remember
[14975] the two months after Charles's arrest, when you began to
[14976] act, and did all?"
[14977]
[14978] "You were both ill at the time," said Margaret. "I did
[14979] the obvious things. I had two invalids to nurse. Here was
[14980] a house, ready furnished and empty. It was obvious. I
[14981] didn't know myself it would turn into a permanent home. No
[14982] doubt I have done a little towards straightening the tangle,
[14983] but things that I can't phrase have helped me."
[14984]
[14985] "I hope it will be permanent," said Helen, drifting away
[14986] to other thoughts.
[14987]
[14988] "I think so. There are moments when I feel Howards End
[14989] peculiarly our own."
[14990]
[14991] "All the same, London's creeping."
[14992]
[14993] She pointed over the meadow--over eight or nine meadows,
[14994] but at the end of them was a red rust.
[14995]
[14996] "You see that in Surrey and even Hampshire now," she
[14997] continued. "I can see it from the Purbeck Downs. And
[14998] London is only part of something else, I'm afraid. Life's
[14999] going to be melted down, all over the world."
[15000]
[15001] Margaret knew that her sister spoke truly. Howards End,
[15002] Oniton, the Purbeck Downs, the Oderberge, were all
[15003] survivals, and the melting-pot was being prepared for them.
[15004] Logically, they had no right to be alive. One's hope was in
[15005] the weakness of logic. Were they possibly the earth beating
[15006] time?
[15007]
[15008] "Because a thing is going strong now, it need not go
[15009] strong for ever," she said. "This craze for motion has only
[15010] set in during the last hundred years. It may be followed by
[15011] a civilization that won't be a movement, because it will
[15012] rest on the earth. All the signs are against it now, but I
[15013] can't help hoping, and very early in the morning in the
[15014] garden I feel that our house is the future as well as the past."
[15015]
[15016] They turned and looked at it. Their own memories
[15017] coloured it now, for Helen's child had been born in the
[15018] central room of the nine. Then Margaret said, "Oh, take
[15019] care--!" for something moved behind the window of the hall,
[15020] and the door opened.
[15021]
[15022] "The conclave's breaking at last. I'll go."
[15023]
[15024] It was Paul.
[15025]
[15026] Helen retreated with the children far into the field.
[15027] Friendly voices greeted her. Margaret rose, to encounter a
[15028] man with a heavy black moustache.
[15029]
[15030] "My father has asked for you," he said with hostility.
[15031] She took her work and followed him.
[15032]
[15033] "We have been talking business," he continued, "but I
[15034] dare say you knew all about it beforehand."
[15035]
[15036] "Yes, I did."
[15037]
[15038] Clumsy of movement--for he had spent all his life in the
[15039] saddle--Paul drove his foot against the paint of the front
[15040] door. Mrs. Wilcox gave a little cry of annoyance. She did
[15041] not like anything scratched; she stopped in the hall to take
[15042] Dolly's boa and gloves out of a vase.
[15043]
[15044] Her husband was lying in a great leather chair in the
[15045] dining-room, and by his side, holding his hand rather
[15046] ostentatiously, was Evie. Dolly, dressed in purple, sat
[15047] near the window. The room was a little dark and airless;
[15048] they were obliged to keep it like this until the carting of
[15049] the hay. Margaret joined the family without speaking; the
[15050] five of them had met already at tea, and she knew quite well
[15051] what was going to be said. Averse to wasting her time, she
[15052] went on sewing. The clock struck six.
[15053]
[15054] "Is this going to suit every one?" said Henry in a weary
[15055] voice. He used the old phrases, but their effect was
[15056] unexpected and shadowy. "Because I don't want you all
[15057] coming here later on and complaining that I have been unfair."
[15058]
[15059] "It's apparently got to suit us," said Paul.
[15060]
[15061] "I beg your pardon, my boy. You have only to speak, and
[15062] I will leave the house to you instead."
[15063]
[15064] Paul frowned ill-temperedly, and began scratching at his
[15065] arm. "As I've given up the outdoor life that suited me, and
[15066] I have come home to look after the business, it's no good my
[15067] settling down here," he said at last. "It's not really the
[15068] country, and it's not the town."
[15069]
[15070] "Very well. Does my arrangement suit you, Evie?"
[15071]
[15072] "Of course, Father."
[15073]
[15074] "And you, Dolly?"
[15075]
[15076] Dolly raised her faded little face, which sorrow could
[15077] wither but not steady. "Perfectly splendidly," she said.
[15078] "I thought Charles wanted it for the boys, but last time I
[15079] saw him he said no, because we cannot possibly live in this
[15080] part of England again. Charles says we ought to change our
[15081] name, but I cannot think what to, for Wilcox just suits
[15082] Charles and me, and I can't think of any other name."
[15083]
[15084] There was a general silence. Dolly looked nervously
[15085] round, fearing that she had been inappropriate. Paul
[15086] continued to scratch his arm.
[15087]
[15088] "Then I leave Howards End to my wife absolutely," said
[15089] Henry. "And let every one understand that; and after I am
[15090] dead let there be no jealousy and no surprise."
[15091]
[15092] Margaret did not answer. There was something uncanny in
[15093] her triumph. She, who had never expected to conquer anyone,
[15094] had charged straight through these Wilcoxes and broken up
[15095] their lives.
[15096]
[15097] "In consequence, I leave my wife no money," said Henry.
[15098] "That is her own wish. All that she would have had will be
[15099] divided among you. I am also giving you a great deal in my
[15100] lifetime, so that you may be independent of me. That is her
[15101] wish, too. She also is giving away a great deal of money.
[15102] She intends to diminish her income by half during the next
[15103] ten years; she intends when she dies to leave the house to
[15104] her--to her nephew, down in the field. Is all that clear?
[15105] Does every one understand?"
[15106]
[15107] Paul rose to his feet. He was accustomed to natives,
[15108] and a very little shook him out of the Englishman. Feeling
[15109] manly and cynical, he said: "Down in the field? Oh, come!
[15110] I think we might have had the whole establishment,
[15111] piccaninnies included."
[15112]
[15113] Mrs. Cahill whispered: "Don't, Paul. You promised you'd
[15114] take care." Feeling a woman of the world, she rose and
[15115] prepared to take her leave.
[15116]
[15117] Her father kissed her. "Good-bye, old girl," he said;
[15118] "don't you worry about me. "
[15119]
[15120] "Good-bye, Dad."
[15121]
[15122] Then it was Dolly's turn. Anxious to contribute, she
[15123] laughed nervously, and said: "Good-bye, Mr. Wilcox. It does
[15124] seem curious that Mrs. Wilcox should have left Margaret
[15125] Howards End, and yet she get it, after all."
[15126]
[15127] From Evie came a sharply-drawn breath. "Good-bye," she
[15128] said to Margaret, and kissed her.
[15129]
[15130] And again and again fell the word, like the ebb of a
[15131] dying sea.
[15132]
[15133] "Good-bye."
[15134]
[15135] "Good-bye, Dolly."
[15136]
[15137] "So long, Father."
[15138]
[15139] "Good-bye, my boy; always take care of yourself."
[15140]
[15141] "Good-bye, Mrs. Wilcox."
[15142]
[15143] "Good-bye.
[15144]
[15145] Margaret saw their visitors to the gate. Then she
[15146] returned to her husband and laid her head in his hands. He
[15147] was pitiably tired. But Dolly's remark had interested her.
[15148] At last she said: "Could you tell me, Henry, what was that
[15149] about Mrs. Wilcox having left me Howards End?"
[15150]
[15151] Tranquilly he replied: "Yes, she did. But that is a
[15152] very old story. When she was ill and you were so kind to
[15153] her she wanted to make you some return, and, not being
[15154] herself at the time, scribbled 'Howards End' on a piece of
[15155] paper. I went into it thoroughly, and, as it was clearly
[15156] fanciful, I set it aside, little knowing what my Margaret
[15157] would be to me in the future."
[15158]
[15159] Margaret was silent. Something shook her life in its
[15160] inmost recesses, and she shivered.
[15161]
[15162] "I didn't do wrong, did I?" he asked, bending down.
[15163]
[15164] "You didn't, darling. Nothing has been done wrong."
[15165]
[15166] From the garden came laughter. "Here they are at last!"
[15167] exclaimed Henry, disengaging himself with a smile. Helen
[15168] rushed into the gloom, holding Tom by one hand and carrying
[15169] her baby on the other. There were shouts of infectious joy.
[15170]
[15171] "The field's cut!" Helen cried excitedly--"the big
[15172] meadow! We've seen to the very end, and it'll be such a
[15173] crop of hay as never!"
[15174]
[15175]
[15176] Weybridge, 1908-1910.
[15177]
[15178]
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