Howard's End by E.M. Forster
Chapters 41-44

E.M. Forster Chapters 1-10
Chapters 11-20
Chapters 21-30
Chapters 31-40
Chapters 41-44

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[13958]     Chapter 41
[13959]     
[13960]     Far different was Leonard's development. The months after
[13961]     Oniton, whatever minor troubles they might bring him, were
[13962]     all overshadowed by Remorse. When Helen looked back she
[13963]     could philosophize, or she could look into the future and
[13964]     plan for her child. But the father saw nothing beyond his
[13965]     own sin. Weeks afterwards, in the midst of other
[13966]     occupations, he would suddenly cry out, "Brute--you brute, I
[13967]     couldn't have--" and be rent into two people who held
[13968]     dialogues. Or brown rain would descend, blotting out faces
[13969]     and the sky. Even Jacky noticed the change in him. Most
[13970]     terrible were his sufferings when he awoke from sleep.
[13971]     Sometimes he was happy at first, but grew conscious of a
[13972]     burden hanging to him and weighing down his thoughts when
[13973]     they would move. Or little irons scorched his body. Or a
[13974]     sword stabbed him. He would sit at the edge of his bed,
[13975]     holding his heart and moaning, "Oh what SHALL I do, whatever
[13976]     SHALL I do?" Nothing brought ease. He could put distance
[13977]     between him and the trespass, but it grew in his soul.
[13978]     
[13979]     Remorse is not among the eternal verities. The Greeks
[13980]     were right to dethrone her. Her action is too capricious,
[13981]     as though the Erinyes selected for punishment only certain
[13982]     men and certain sins. And of all means to regeneration
[13983]     Remorse is surely the most wasteful. It cuts away healthy
[13984]     tissues with the poisoned. It is a knife that probes far
[13985]     deeper than the evil. Leonard was driven straight through
[13986]     its torments and emerged pure, but enfeebled--a better man,
[13987]     who would never lose control of himself again, but also a
[13988]     smaller, who had less to control. Nor did purity mean
[13989]     peace. The use of the knife can become a habit as hard to
[13990]     shake off as passion itself, and Leonard continued to start
[13991]     with a cry out of dreams.
[13992]     
[13993]     He built up a situation that was far enough from the
[13994]     truth. It never occurred to him that Helen was to blame.
[13995]     He forgot the intensity of their talk, the charm that had
[13996]     been lent him by sincerity, the magic of Oniton under
[13997]     darkness and of the whispering river. Helen loved the
[13998]     absolute. Leonard had been ruined absolutely, and had
[13999]     appeared to her as a man apart, isolated from the world. A
[14000]     real man, who cared for adventure and beauty, who desired to
[14001]     live decently and pay his way, who could have travelled more
[14002]     gloriously through life than the Juggernaut car that was
[14003]     crushing him. Memories of Evie's wedding had warped her,
[14004]     the starched servants, the yards of uneaten food, the rustle
[14005]     of overdressed women, motor-cars oozing grease on the
[14006]     gravel, rubbish on a pretentious band. She had tasted the
[14007]     lees of this on her arrival: in the darkness, after failure,
[14008]     they intoxicated her. She and the victim seemed alone in a
[14009]     world of unreality, and she loved him absolutely, perhaps
[14010]     for half an hour.
[14011]     
[14012]     In the morning she was gone. The note that she left,
[14013]     tender and hysterical in tone, and intended to be most kind,
[14014]     hurt her lover terribly. It was as if some work of art had
[14015]     been broken by him, some picture in the National Gallery
[14016]     slashed out of its frame. When he recalled her talents and
[14017]     her social position, he felt that the first passerby had a
[14018]     right to shoot him down. He was afraid of the waitress and
[14019]     the porters at the railway-station. He was afraid at first
[14020]     of his wife, though later he was to regard her with a
[14021]     strange new tenderness, and to think, "There is nothing to
[14022]     choose between us, after all."
[14023]     
[14024]     The expedition to Shropshire crippled the Basts
[14025]     permanently. Helen in her flight forgot to settle the hotel
[14026]     bill, and took their return tickets away with her; they had
[14027]     to pawn Jacky's bangles to get home, and the smash came a
[14028]     few days afterwards. It is true that Helen offered him five
[14029]     thousands pounds, but such a sum meant nothing to him. He
[14030]     could not see that the girl was desperately righting
[14031]     herself, and trying to save something out of the disaster,
[14032]     if it was only five thousand pounds. But he had to live
[14033]     somehow. He turned to his family, and degraded himself to a
[14034]     professional beggar. There was nothing else for him to do.
[14035]     
[14036]     "A letter from Leonard," thought Blanche, his sister;
[14037]     "and after all this time." She hid it, so that her husband
[14038]     should not see, and when he had gone to his work read it
[14039]     with some emotion, and sent the prodigal a little money out
[14040]     of her dress allowance.
[14041]     
[14042]     "A letter from Leonard!" said the other sister, Laura, a
[14043]     few days later. She showed it to her husband. He wrote a
[14044]     cruel insolent reply, but sent more money than Blanche, so
[14045]     Leonard soon wrote to him again.
[14046]     
[14047]     And during the winter the system was developed. Leonard
[14048]     realized that they need never starve, because it would be
[14049]     too painful for his relatives. Society is based on the
[14050]     family, and the clever wastrel can exploit this
[14051]     indefinitely. Without a generous thought on either side,
[14052]     pounds and pounds passed. The donors disliked Leonard, and
[14053]     he grew to hate them intensely. When Laura censured his
[14054]     immoral marriage, he thought bitterly, "She minds that!
[14055]     What would she say if she knew the truth?" When Blanche's
[14056]     husband offered him work, he found some pretext for avoiding
[14057]     it. He had wanted work keenly at Oniton, but too much
[14058]     anxiety had shattered him; he was joining the unemployable.
[14059]     When his brother, the lay-reader, did not reply to a letter,
[14060]     he wrote again, saying that he and Jacky would come down to
[14061]     his village on foot. He did not intend this as blackmail.
[14062]     Still, the brother sent a postal order, and it became part
[14063]     of the system. And so passed his winter and his spring.
[14064]     
[14065]     In the horror there are two bright spots. He never
[14066]     confused the past. He remained alive, and blessed are those
[14067]     who live, if it is only to a sense of sinfulness. The
[14068]     anodyne of muddledom, by which most men blur and blend their
[14069]     mistakes, never passed Leonard's lips--
[14070]     
[14071]       And if I drink oblivion of a day,
[14072]       So shorten I the stature of my soul.
[14073]     
[14074]     It is a hard saying, and a hard man wrote it, but it
[14075]     lies at the foot of all character.
[14076]     
[14077]     And the other bright spot was his tenderness for Jacky.
[14078]     He pitied her with nobility now--not the contemptuous pity
[14079]     of a man who sticks to a woman through thick and thin. He
[14080]     tried to be less irritable. He wondered what her hungry
[14081]     eyes desired--nothing that she could express, or that he or
[14082]     any man could give her. Would she ever receive the justice
[14083]     that is mercy--the justice for by-products that the world is
[14084]     too busy to bestow? She was fond of flowers, generous with
[14085]     money, and not revengeful. If she had borne him a child he
[14086]     might have cared for her. Unmarried, Leonard would never
[14087]     have begged; he would have flickered out and died. But the
[14088]     whole of life is mixed. He had to provide for Jacky, and
[14089]     went down dirty paths that she might have a few feathers and
[14090]     dishes of food that suited her.
[14091]     
[14092]     One day he caught sight of Margaret and her brother. He
[14093]     was in St. Paul's. He had entered the cathedral partly to
[14094]     avoid the rain and partly to see a picture that had educated
[14095]     him in former years. But the light was bad, the picture ill
[14096]     placed, and Time and Judgment were inside him now. Death
[14097]     alone still charmed him, with her lap of poppies, on which
[14098]     all men shall sleep. He took one glance, and turned
[14099]     aimlessly away towards a chair. Then down the nave he saw
[14100]     Miss Schlegel and her brother. They stood in the fairway of
[14101]     passengers, and their faces were extremely grave. He was
[14102]     perfectly certain that they were in trouble about their sister.
[14103]     
[14104]     Once outside--and he fled immediately--he wished that he
[14105]     had spoken to them. What was his life? What were a few
[14106]     angry words, or even imprisonment? He had done wrong--that
[14107]     was the true terror. Whatever they might know, he would
[14108]     tell them everything he knew. He re-entered St. Paul's.
[14109]     But they had moved in his absence, and had gone to lay their
[14110]     difficulties before Mr. Wilcox and Charles.
[14111]     
[14112]     The sight of Margaret turned remorse into new channels.
[14113]     He desired to confess, and though the desire is proof of a
[14114]     weakened nature, which is about to lose the essence of human
[14115]     intercourse, it did not take an ignoble form. He did not
[14116]     suppose that confession would bring him happiness. It was
[14117]     rather that he yearned to get clear of the tangle. So does
[14118]     the suicide yearn. The impulses are akin, and the crime of
[14119]     suicide lies rather in its disregard for the feelings of
[14120]     those whom we leave behind. Confession need harm no one--it
[14121]     can satisfy that test--and though it was un-English, and
[14122]     ignored by our Anglican cathedral, Leonard had a right to
[14123]     decide upon it.
[14124]     
[14125]     Moreover, he trusted Margaret. He wanted her hardness
[14126]     now. That cold, intellectual nature of hers would be just,
[14127]     if unkind. He would do whatever she told him, even if he
[14128]     had to see Helen. That was the supreme punishment she would
[14129]     exact. And perhaps she would tell him how Helen was. That
[14130]     was the supreme reward.
[14131]     
[14132]     He knew nothing about Margaret, not even whether she was
[14133]     married to Mr. Wilcox, and tracking her out took several
[14134]     days. That evening he toiled through the wet to Wickham
[14135]     Place, where the new flats were now appearing. Was he also
[14136]     the cause of their move? Were they expelled from society on
[14137]     his account? Thence to a public library, but could find no
[14138]     satisfactory Schlegel in the directory. On the morrow he
[14139]     searched again. He hung about outside Mr. Wilcox's office
[14140]     at lunch time, and, as the clerks came out said: "Excuse me,
[14141]     sir, but is your boss married?" Most of them stared, some
[14142]     said, "What's that to you?" but one, who had not yet
[14143]     acquired reticence, told him what he wished. Leonard could
[14144]     not learn the private address. That necessitated more
[14145]     trouble with directories and tubes. Ducie Street was not
[14146]     discovered till the Monday, the day that Margaret and her
[14147]     husband went down on their hunting expedition to Howards End.
[14148]     
[14149]     He called at about four o'clock. The weather had
[14150]     changed, and the sun shone gaily on the ornamental
[14151]     steps--black and white marble in triangles. Leonard lowered
[14152]     his eyes to them after ringing the bell. He felt in curious
[14153]     health: doors seemed to be opening and shutting inside his
[14154]     body, and he had been obliged to steep sitting up in bed,
[14155]     with his back propped against the wall. When the
[14156]     parlourmaid came he could not see her face; the brown rain
[14157]     had descended suddenly.
[14158]     
[14159]     "Does Mrs. Wilcox live here?" he asked.
[14160]     
[14161]     "She's out," was the answer.
[14162]     
[14163]     "When will she be back?"
[14164]     
[14165]     "I'll ask," said the parlourmaid.
[14166]     
[14167]     Margaret had given instructions that no one who
[14168]     mentioned her name should ever be rebuffed. Putting the
[14169]     door on the chain--for Leonard's appearance demanded
[14170]     this--she went through to the smoking-room, which was
[14171]     occupied by Tibby. Tibby was asleep. He had had a good
[14172]     lunch. Charles Wilcox had not yet rung him up for the
[14173]     distracting interview. He said drowsily: "I don't know.
[14174]     Hilton. Howards End. Who is it?"
[14175]     
[14176]     "I'll ask, sir."
[14177]     
[14178]     "No, don't bother."
[14179]     
[14180]     "They have taken the car to Howards End," said the
[14181]     parlourmaid to Leonard.
[14182]     
[14183]     He thanked her, and asked whereabouts that place was.
[14184]     
[14185]     "You appear to want to know a good deal," she remarked.
[14186]     But Margaret had forbidden her to be mysterious. She told
[14187]     him against her better judgment that Howards End was in
[14188]     Hertfordshire.
[14189]     
[14190]     "Is it a village, please?"
[14191]     
[14192]     "Village! It's Mr. Wilcox's private house--at least,
[14193]     it's one of them. Mrs. Wilcox keeps her furniture there.
[14194]     Hilton is the village."
[14195]     
[14196]     "Yes. And when will they be back?"
[14197]     
[14198]     "Mr. Schlegel doesn't know. We can't know everything,
[14199]     can we?" She shut him out, and went to attend to the
[14200]     telephone, which was ringing furiously.
[14201]     
[14202]     He loitered away another night of agony. Confession
[14203]     grew more difficult. As soon as possible he went to bed.
[14204]     He watched a patch of moonlight cross the floor of their
[14205]     lodging, and, as sometimes happens when the mind is
[14206]     overtaxed, he fell asleep for the rest of the room, but kept
[14207]     awake for the patch of moonlight. Horrible! Then began one
[14208]     of those disintegrating dialogues. Part of him said: "Why
[14209]     horrible? It's ordinary light from the room." "But it
[14210]     moves." "So does the moon." "But it is a clenched fist."
[14211]     "Why not?" "But it is going to touch me." "Let it." And,
[14212]     seeming to gather motion, the patch ran up his blanket.
[14213]     Presently a blue snake appeared; then another, parallel to
[14214]     it. "Is there life in the moon?" "Of course." "But I
[14215]     thought it was uninhabited." "Not by Time, Death, Judgment,
[14216]     and the smaller snakes." "Smaller snakes!" said Leonard
[14217]     indignantly and aloud. "What a notion!" By a rending
[14218]     effort of the will he woke the rest of the room up. Jacky,
[14219]     the bed, their food, their clothes on the chair, gradually
[14220]     entered his consciousness, and the horror vanished outwards,
[14221]     like a ring that is spreading through water.
[14222]     
[14223]     "I say, Jacky, I'm going out for a bit."
[14224]     
[14225]     She was breathing regularly. The patch of light fell
[14226]     clear of the striped blanket, and began to cover the shawl
[14227]     that lay over her feet. Why had he been afraid? He went to
[14228]     the window, and saw that the moon was descending through a
[14229]     clear sky. He saw her volcanoes, and the bright expanses
[14230]     that a gracious error has named seas. They paled, for the
[14231]     sun, who had lit them up, was coming to light the earth.
[14232]     Sea of Serenity, Sea of Tranquillity, Ocean of the Lunar
[14233]     Storms, merged into one lucent drop, itself to slip into the
[14234]     sempiternal dawn. And he had been afraid of the moon!
[14235]     
[14236]     He dressed among the contending lights, and went through
[14237]     his money. It was running low again, but enough for a
[14238]     return ticket to Hilton. As it clinked Jacky opened her eyes.
[14239]     
[14240]     "Hullo, Len! What ho, Len!"
[14241]     
[14242]     "What ho, Jacky! see you again later."
[14243]     
[14244]     She turned over and slept.
[14245]     
[14246]     The house was unlocked, their landlord being a salesman
[14247]     at Convent Garden. Leonard passed out and made his way down
[14248]     to the station. The train, though it did not start for an
[14249]     hour, was already drawn up at the end of the platform, and
[14250]     he lay down in it and slept. With the first jolt he was in
[14251]     daylight; they had left the gateways of King's Cross, and
[14252]     were under blue sky. Tunnels followed, and after each the
[14253]     sky grew bluer, and from the embankment at Finsbury Park he
[14254]     had his first sight of the sun. It rolled along behind the
[14255]     eastern smokes--a wheel, whose fellow was the descending
[14256]     moon--and as yet it seemed the servant of the blue sky, not
[14257]     its lord. He dozed again. Over Tewin Water it was day. To
[14258]     the left fell the shadow of the embankment and its arches;
[14259]     to the right Leonard saw up into the Tewin Woods and towards
[14260]     the church, with its wild legend of immortality. Six forest
[14261]     trees--that is a fact--grow out of one of the graves in
[14262]     Tewin churchyard. The grave's occupant--that is the
[14263]     legend--is an atheist, who declared that if God existed, six
[14264]     forest trees would grow out of her grave. These things in
[14265]     Hertfordshire; and farther afield lay the house of a
[14266]     hermit--Mrs. Wilcox had known him--who barred himself up,
[14267]     and wrote prophecies, and gave all he had to the poor.
[14268]     While, powdered in between, were the villas of business men,
[14269]     who saw life more steadily, though with the steadiness of
[14270]     the half-closed eye. Over all the sun was streaming, to all
[14271]     the birds were singing, to all the primroses were yellow,
[14272]     and the speedwell blue, and the country, however they
[14273]     interpreted her, was uttering her cry of "now." She did not
[14274]     free Leonard yet, and the knife plunged deeper into his
[14275]     heart as the train drew up at Hilton. But remorse had
[14276]     become beautiful.
[14277]     
[14278]     Hilton was asleep, or at the earliest, breakfasting.
[14279]     Leonard noticed the contrast when he stepped out of it into
[14280]     the country. Here men had been up since dawn. Their hours
[14281]     were ruled, not by a London office, but by the movements of
[14282]     the crops and the sun. That they were men of the finest
[14283]     type only the sentimentalist can declare. But they kept to
[14284]     the life of daylight. They are England's hope. Clumsily
[14285]     they carry forward the torch of the sun, until such time as
[14286]     the nation sees fit to take it up. Half clodhopper, half
[14287]     board-school prig, they can still throw back to a nobler
[14288]     stock, and breed yeomen.
[14289]     
[14290]     At the chalk pit a motor passed him. In it was another
[14291]     type, whom Nature favours--the Imperial. Healthy, ever in
[14292]     motion, it hopes to inherit the earth. It breeds as quickly
[14293]     as the yeoman, and as soundly; strong is the temptation to
[14294]     acclaim it as a super-yeoman, who carries his country's
[14295]     virtue overseas. But the Imperialist is not what he thinks
[14296]     or seems. He is a destroyer. He prepares the way for
[14297]     cosmopolitanism, and though his ambitions may be fulfilled,
[14298]     the earth that he inherits will be grey.
[14299]     
[14300]     To Leonard, intent on his private sin, there came the
[14301]     conviction of innate goodness elsewhere. It was not the
[14302]     optimism which he had been taught at school. Again and
[14303]     again must the drums tap, and the goblins stalk over the
[14304]     universe before joy can be purged of the superficial. It
[14305]     was rather paradoxical, and arose from his sorrow. Death
[14306]     destroys a man, but the idea of death saves him--that is the
[14307]     best account of it that has yet been given. Squalor and
[14308]     tragedy can beckon to all that is great in us, and
[14309]     strengthen the wings of love. They can beckon; it is not
[14310]     certain that they will, for they are not love's servants.
[14311]     But they can beckon, and the knowledge of this incredible
[14312]     truth comforted him.
[14313]     
[14314]     As he approached the house all thought stopped.
[14315]     Contradictory notions stood side by side in his mind. He
[14316]     was terrified but happy, ashamed, but had done no sin. He
[14317]     knew the confession: "Mrs. Wilcox, I have done wrong," but
[14318]     sunrise had robbed its meaning, and he felt rather on a
[14319]     supreme adventure.
[14320]     
[14321]     He entered a garden, steadied himself against a
[14322]     motor-car that he found in it, found a door open and entered
[14323]     a house. Yes, it would be very easy. From a room to the
[14324]     left he heard voices, Margaret's amongst them. His own name
[14325]     was called aloud, and a man whom he had never seen said,
[14326]     "Oh, is he there? I am not surprised. I now thrash him
[14327]     within an inch of his life."
[14328]     
[14329]     "Mrs. Wilcox," said Leonard, "I have done wrong."
[14330]     
[14331]     The man took him by the collar and cried, "Bring me a
[14332]     stick." Women were screaming. A stick, very bright,
[14333]     descended. It hurt him, not where it descended, but in the
[14334]     heart. Books fell over him in a shower. Nothing had sense.
[14335]     
[14336]     "Get some water," commanded Charles, who had all through
[14337]     kept very calm. "He's shamming. Of course I only used the
[14338]     blade. Here, carry him out into the air."
[14339]     
[14340]     Thinking that he understood these things, Margaret
[14341]     obeyed him. They laid Leonard, who was dead, on the gravel;
[14342]     Helen poured water over him.
[14343]     
[14344]     "That's enough," said Charles.
[14345]     
[14346]     "Yes, murder's enough," said Miss Avery, coming out of
[14347]     the house with the sword.
[14348]     
[14349]     
[14350]     Chapter 42
[14351]     
[14352]     When Charles left Ducie Street he had caught the first train
[14353]     home, but had no inkling of the newest development until
[14354]     late at night. Then his father, who had dined alone, sent
[14355]     for him, and in very grave tones inquired for Margaret.
[14356]     
[14357]     "I don't know where she is, pater," said Charles.
[14358]     "Dolly kept back dinner nearly an hour for her."
[14359]     
[14360]     "Tell me when she comes in--."
[14361]     
[14362]     Another hour passed. The servants went to bed, and
[14363]     Charles visited his father again, to receive further
[14364]     instructions. Mrs. Wilcox had still not returned.
[14365]     
[14366]     "I'll sit up for her as late as you like, but she can
[14367]     hardly be coming. Isn't she stopping with her sister at the
[14368]     hotel?"
[14369]     
[14370]     "Perhaps," said Mr. Wilcox thoughtfully--"perhaps."
[14371]     
[14372]     "Can I do anything for you, sir?"
[14373]     
[14374]     "Not tonight, my boy."
[14375]     
[14376]     Mr. Wilcox liked being called sir. He raised his eyes
[14377]     and gave his son more open a look of tenderness than he
[14378]     usually ventured. He saw Charles as little boy and strong
[14379]     man in one. Though his wife had proved unstable his
[14380]     children were left to him.
[14381]     
[14382]     After midnight he tapped on Charles's door. "I can't
[14383]     sleep," he said. "I had better have a talk with you and get
[14384]     it over."
[14385]     
[14386]     He complained of the heat. Charles took him out into
[14387]     the garden, and they paced up and down in their
[14388]     dressing-gowns. Charles became very quiet as the story
[14389]     unrolled; he had known all along that Margaret was as bad as
[14390]     her sister.
[14391]     
[14392]     "She will feel differently in the morning," said Mr.
[14393]     Wilcox, who had of course said nothing about Mrs. Bast.
[14394]     "But I cannot let this kind of thing continue without
[14395]     comment. I am morally certain that she is with her sister
[14396]     at Howards End. The house is mine--and, Charles, it will be
[14397]     yours--and when I say that no one is to live there, I mean
[14398]     that no one is to live there. I won't have it." He looked
[14399]     angrily at the moon. "To my mind this question is connected
[14400]     with something far greater, the rights of property itself."
[14401]     
[14402]     "Undoubtedly," said Charles.
[14403]     
[14404]     Mr. Wilcox linked his arm in his son's, but somehow
[14405]     liked him less as he told him more. "I don't want you to
[14406]     conclude that my wife and I had anything of the nature of a
[14407]     quarrel. She was only over-wrought, as who would not be? I
[14408]     shall do what I can for Helen, but on the understanding that
[14409]     they clear out of the house at once. Do you see? That is a
[14410]     sine qua non."
[14411]     
[14412]     "Then at eight tomorrow I may go up in the car?"
[14413]     
[14414]     "Eight or earlier. Say that you are acting as my
[14415]     representative, and, of course, use no violence, Charles."
[14416]     
[14417]     On the morrow, as Charles returned, leaving Leonard dead
[14418]     upon the gravel, it did not seem to him that he had used
[14419]     violence. Death was due to heart disease. His stepmother
[14420]     herself had said so, and even Miss Avery had acknowledged
[14421]     that he only used the flat of the sword. On his way through
[14422]     the village he informed the police, who thanked him, and
[14423]     said there must be an inquest. He found his father in the
[14424]     garden shading his eyes from the sun.
[14425]     
[14426]     "It has been pretty horrible," said Charles gravely.
[14427]     "They were there, and they had the man up there with them too."
[14428]     
[14429]     "What--what man?"
[14430]     
[14431]     "I told you last night. His name was Bast."
[14432]     
[14433]     "My God, is it possible?" said Mr. Wilcox. "In your
[14434]     mother's house! Charles, in your mother's house!"
[14435]     
[14436]     "I know, pater. That was what I felt. As a matter of
[14437]     fact, there is no need to trouble about the man. He was in
[14438]     the last stages of heart disease, and just before I could
[14439]     show him what I thought of him he went off. The police are
[14440]     seeing about it at this moment."
[14441]     
[14442]     Mr. Wilcox listened attentively.
[14443]     
[14444]     "I got up there--oh, it couldn't have been more than
[14445]     half-past seven. The Avery woman was lighting a fire for
[14446]     them. They were still upstairs. I waited in the
[14447]     drawing-room. We were all moderately civil and collected,
[14448]     though I had my suspicions. I gave them your message, and
[14449]     Mrs. Wilcox said, 'Oh yes, I see; yes,' in that way of hers."
[14450]     
[14451]     "Nothing else?"
[14452]     
[14453]     "I promised to tell you, 'with her love,' that she was
[14454]     going to Germany with her sister this evening. That was all
[14455]     we had time for."
[14456]     
[14457]     Mr. Wilcox seemed relieved.
[14458]     
[14459]     "Because by then I suppose the man got tired of hiding,
[14460]     for suddenly Mrs. Wilcox screamed out his name. I
[14461]     recognized it, and I went for him in the hall. Was I right,
[14462]     pater? I thought things were going a little too far."
[14463]     
[14464]     "Right, my dear boy? I don't know. But you would have
[14465]     been no son of mine if you hadn't. Then did he
[14466]     just--just--crumple up as you said?" He shrunk from the
[14467]     simple word.
[14468]     
[14469]     "He caught hold of the bookcase, which came down over
[14470]     him. So I merely put the sword down and carried him into
[14471]     the garden. We all thought he was shamming. However, he's
[14472]     dead right enough. Awful business!"
[14473]     
[14474]     "Sword?" cried his father, with anxiety in his voice.
[14475]     "What sword? Whose sword?"
[14476]     
[14477]     "A sword of theirs."
[14478]     
[14479]     "What were you doing with it?"
[14480]     
[14481]     "Well, didn't you see, pater, I had to snatch up the
[14482]     first thing handy I hadn't a riding-whip or stick. I caught
[14483]     him once or twice over the shoulders with the flat of their
[14484]     old German sword."
[14485]     
[14486]     "Then what?"
[14487]     
[14488]     "He pulled over the bookcase, as I said, and fell," said
[14489]     Charles, with a sigh. It was no fun doing errands for his
[14490]     father, who was never quite satisfied.
[14491]     
[14492]     "But the real cause was heart disease? Of that you're sure?"
[14493]     
[14494]     "That or a fit. However, we shall hear more than enough
[14495]     at the inquest on such unsavoury topics."
[14496]     
[14497]     They went into breakfast. Charles had a racking
[14498]     headache, consequent on motoring before food. He was also
[14499]     anxious about the future, reflecting that the police must
[14500]     detain Helen and Margaret for the inquest and ferret the
[14501]     whole thing out. He saw himself obliged to leave Hilton.
[14502]     One could not afford to live near the scene of a scandal--it
[14503]     was not fair on one's wife. His comfort was that the
[14504]     pater's eyes were opened at last. There would be a horrible
[14505]     smash up, and probably a separation from Margaret; then they
[14506]     would all start again, more as they had been in his mother's
[14507]     time.
[14508]     
[14509]     "I think I'll go round to the police-station," said his
[14510]     father when breakfast was over.
[14511]     
[14512]     "What for?" cried Dolly, who had still not been "told."
[14513]     
[14514]     "Very well, sir. Which car will you have?"
[14515]     
[14516]     "I think I'll walk."
[14517]     
[14518]     "It's a good half-mile," said Charles, stepping into the
[14519]     garden. "The sun's very hot for April. Shan't I take you
[14520]     up, and then, perhaps, a little spin round by Tewin?"
[14521]     
[14522]     "You go on as if I didn't know my own mind," said Mr.
[14523]     Wilcox fretfully. Charles hardened his mouth. "You young
[14524]     fellows' one idea is to get into a motor. I tell you, I
[14525]     want to walk: I'm very fond of walking."
[14526]     
[14527]     "Oh, all right; I'm about the house if you want me for
[14528]     anything. I thought of not going up to the office today, if
[14529]     that is your wish."
[14530]     
[14531]     "It is, indeed, my boy," said Mr. Wilcox, and laid a
[14532]     hand on his sleeve.
[14533]     
[14534]     Charles did not like it; he was uneasy about his father,
[14535]     who did not seem himself this morning. There was a petulant
[14536]     touch about him--more like a woman. Could it be that he was
[14537]     growing old? The Wilcoxes were not lacking in affection;
[14538]     they had it royally, but they did not know how to use it.
[14539]     It was the talent in the napkin, and, for a warm-hearted
[14540]     man, Charles had conveyed very little joy. As he watched
[14541]     his father shuffling up the road, he had a vague regret--a
[14542]     wish that something had been different somewhere--a wish
[14543]     (though he did not express it thus) that he had been taught
[14544]     to say "I" in his youth. He meant to make up for Margaret's
[14545]     defection, but knew that his father had been very happy with
[14546]     her until yesterday. How had she done it? By some
[14547]     dishonest trick, no doubt--but how?
[14548]     
[14549]     Mr. Wilcox reappeared at eleven, looking very tired.
[14550]     There was to be an inquest on Leonard's' body tomorrow, and
[14551]     the police required his son to attend.
[14552]     
[14553]     "I expected that," said Charles. "I shall naturally be
[14554]     the most important witness there."
[14555]     
[14556]     
[14557]     Chapter 43
[14558]     
[14559]     Out of the turmoil and horror that had begun with Aunt
[14560]     Juley's illness and was not even to end with Leonard's
[14561]     death, it seemed impossible to Margaret that healthy life
[14562]     should re-emerge. Events succeeded in a logical, yet
[14563]     senseless, train. People lost their humanity, and took
[14564]     values as arbitrary as those in a pack of playing-cards. It
[14565]     was natural that Henry should do this and cause Helen to do
[14566]     that, and then think her wrong for doing it; natural that
[14567]     she herself should think him wrong; natural that Leonard
[14568]     should want to know how Helen was, and come, and Charles be
[14569]     angry with him for coming--natural, but unreal. In this
[14570]     jangle of causes and effects what had become of their true
[14571]     selves? Here Leonard lay dead in the garden, from natural
[14572]     causes; yet life was a deep, deep river, death a blue sky,
[14573]     life was a house, death a wisp of hay, a flower, a tower,
[14574]     life and death were anything and everything, except this
[14575]     ordered insanity, where the king takes the queen, and the
[14576]     ace the king. Ah, no; there was beauty and adventure
[14577]     behind, such as the man at her feet had yearned for; there
[14578]     was hope this side of the grave; there were truer
[14579]     relationships beyond the limits that fetter us now. As a
[14580]     prisoner looks up and sees stars beckoning, so she, from the
[14581]     turmoil and horror of those days, caught glimpses of the
[14582]     diviner wheels.
[14583]     
[14584]     And Helen, dumb with fright, but trying to keep calm for
[14585]     the child's sake, and Miss Avery, calm, but murmuring
[14586]     tenderly, "No one ever told the lad he'll have a
[14587]     child"--they also reminded her that horror is not the end.
[14588]     To what ultimate harmony we tend she did not know, but there
[14589]     seemed great chance that a child would be born into the
[14590]     world, to take the great chances of beauty and adventure
[14591]     that the world offers. She moved through the sunlit garden,
[14592]     gathering narcissi, crimson-eyed and white. There was
[14593]     nothing else to be done; the time for telegrams and anger
[14594]     was over, and it seemed wisest that the hands of Leonard
[14595]     should be folded on his breast and be filled with flowers.
[14596]     Here was the father; leave it at that. Let Squalor be
[14597]     turned into Tragedy, whose eyes are the stars, and whose
[14598]     hands hold the sunset and the dawn.
[14599]     
[14600]     And even the influx of officials, even the return of the
[14601]     doctor, vulgar and acute, could not shake her belief in the
[14602]     eternity of beauty. Science explained people, but could not
[14603]     understand them. After long centuries among the bones and
[14604]     muscles it might be advancing to knowledge of the nerves,
[14605]     but this would never give understanding. One could open the
[14606]     heart to Mr. Mansbridge and his sort without discovering its
[14607]     secrets to them, for they wanted everything down in black
[14608]     and white, and black and white was exactly what they were
[14609]     left with.
[14610]     
[14611]     They questioned her closely about Charles. She never
[14612]     suspected why. Death had come, and the doctor agreed that
[14613]     it was due to heart disease. They asked to see her father's
[14614]     sword. She explained that Charles's anger was natural, but
[14615]     mistaken. Miserable questions about Leonard followed, all
[14616]     of which she answered unfalteringly. Then back to Charles
[14617]     again. "No doubt Mr. Wilcox may have induced death," she
[14618]     said; "but if it wasn't one thing it would have been
[14619]     another, as you yourselves know." At last they thanked her,
[14620]     and took the sword and the body down to Hilton. She began
[14621]     to pick up the books from the floor.
[14622]     
[14623]     Helen had gone to the farm. It was the best place for
[14624]     her, since she had to wait for the inquest. Though, as if
[14625]     things were not hard enough, Madge and her husband had
[14626]     raised trouble; they did not see why they should receive the
[14627]     offscourings of Howards End. And, of course, they were
[14628]     right. The whole world was going to be right, and amply
[14629]     avenge any brave talk against the conventions. "Nothing
[14630]     matters," the Schlegels had said in the past, "except one's
[14631]     self-respect and that of one's friends." When the time came,
[14632]     other things mattered terribly. However, Madge had yielded,
[14633]     and Helen was assured of peace for one day and night, and
[14634]     tomorrow she would return to Germany.
[14635]     
[14636]     As for herself, she determined to go too. No message
[14637]     came from Henry; perhaps he expected her to apologize. Now
[14638]     that she had time to think over her own tragedy, she was
[14639]     unrepentant. She neither forgave him for his behaviour nor
[14640]     wished to forgive him. Her speech to him seemed perfect.
[14641]     She would not have altered a word. It had to be uttered
[14642]     once in a life, to adjust the lopsidedness of the world. It
[14643]     was spoken not only to her husband, but to thousands of men
[14644]     like him--a protest against the inner darkness in high
[14645]     places that comes with a commercial age. Though he would
[14646]     build up his life without hers, she could not apologize. He
[14647]     had refused to connect, on the clearest issue that can be
[14648]     laid before a man, and their love must take the consequences.
[14649]     
[14650]     No, there was nothing more to be done. They had tried
[14651]     not to go over the precipice but perhaps the fall was
[14652]     inevitable. And it comforted her to think that the future
[14653]     was certainly inevitable: cause and effect would go jangling
[14654]     forward to some goal doubtless, but to none that she could
[14655]     imagine. At such moments the soul retires within, to float
[14656]     upon the bosom of a deeper stream, and has communion with
[14657]     the dead, and sees the world's glory not diminished, but
[14658]     different in kind to what she has supposed. She alters her
[14659]     focus until trivial things are blurred. Margaret had been
[14660]     tending this way all the winter. Leonard's death brought
[14661]     her to the goal. Alas! that Henry should fade, away as
[14662]     reality emerged, and only her love for him should remain
[14663]     clear, stamped with his image like the cameos we rescue out
[14664]     of dreams.
[14665]     
[14666]     With unfaltering eye she traced his future. He would
[14667]     soon present a healthy mind to the world again, and what did
[14668]     he or the world care if he was rotten at the core? He would
[14669]     grow into a rich, jolly old man, at times a little
[14670]     sentimental about women, but emptying his glass with
[14671]     anyone. Tenacious of power, he would keep Charles and the
[14672]     rest dependent, and retire from business reluctantly and at
[14673]     an advanced age. He would settle down--though she could not
[14674]     realize this. In her eyes Henry was always moving and
[14675]     causing others to move, until the ends of the earth met.
[14676]     But in time he must get too tired to move, and settle down.
[14677]     What next? The inevitable word. The release of the soul to
[14678]     its appropriate Heaven.
[14679]     
[14680]     Would they meet in it? Margaret believed in immortality
[14681]     for herself. An eternal future had always seemed natural to
[14682]     her. And Henry believed in it for himself. Yet, would they
[14683]     meet again? Are there not rather endless levels beyond the
[14684]     grave, as the theory that he had censured teaches? And his
[14685]     level, whether higher or lower, could it possibly be the
[14686]     same as hers?
[14687]     
[14688]     Thus gravely meditating, she was summoned by him. He
[14689]     sent up Crane in the motor. Other servants passed like
[14690]     water, but the chauffeur remained, though impertinent and
[14691]     disloyal. Margaret disliked Crane, and he knew it.
[14692]     
[14693]     "Is it the keys that Mr. Wilcox wants?" she asked.
[14694]     
[14695]     "He didn't say, madam."
[14696]     
[14697]     "You haven't any note for me?"
[14698]     
[14699]     "He didn't say, madam."
[14700]     
[14701]     After a moment's thought she locked up Howards End. It
[14702]     was pitiable to see in it the stirrings of warmth that would
[14703]     be quenched for ever. She raked out the fire that was
[14704]     blazing in the kitchen, and spread the coals in the
[14705]     gravelled yard. She closed the windows and drew the
[14706]     curtains. Henry would probably sell the place now.
[14707]     
[14708]     She was determined not to spare him, for nothing new had
[14709]     happened as far as they were concerned. Her mood might
[14710]     never have altered from yesterday evening. He was standing
[14711]     a little outside Charles's gate, and motioned the car to
[14712]     stop. When his wife got out he said hoarsely: "I prefer to
[14713]     discuss things with you outside."
[14714]     
[14715]     "It will be more appropriate in the road, I am afraid,"
[14716]     said Margaret. "Did you get my message?"
[14717]     
[14718]     "What about?"
[14719]     
[14720]     "I am going to Germany with my sister. I must tell you
[14721]     now that I shall make it my permanent home. Our talk last
[14722]     night was more important than you have realized. I am
[14723]     unable to forgive you and am leaving you."
[14724]     
[14725]     "I am extremely tired," said Henry, in injured tones.
[14726]     "I have been walking about all the morning, and wish to sit down."
[14727]     
[14728]     "Certainly, if you will consent to sit on the grass."
[14729]     
[14730]     The Great North Road should have been bordered all its
[14731]     length with glebe. Henry's kind had filched most of it.
[14732]     She moved to the scrap opposite, wherein were the Six
[14733]     Hills. They sat down on the farther side, so that they
[14734]     could not be seen by Charles or Dolly.
[14735]     
[14736]     "Here are your keys," said Margaret. She tossed them
[14737]     towards him. They fell on the sunlit slope of grass, and he
[14738]     did not pick them up.
[14739]     
[14740]     "I have something to tell you," he said gently.
[14741]     
[14742]     She knew this superficial gentleness, this confession of
[14743]     hastiness, that was only intended to enhance her admiration
[14744]     of the male.
[14745]     
[14746]     "I don't want to hear it," she replied. "My sister is
[14747]     going to be ill. My life is going to be with her now. We
[14748]     must manage to build up something, she and I and her child."
[14749]     
[14750]     "Where are you going?"
[14751]     
[14752]     "Munich. We start after the inquest, if she is not too ill."
[14753]     
[14754]     "After the inquest?"
[14755]     
[14756]     "Yes."
[14757]     
[14758]     "Have you realized what the verdict at the inquest will be?"
[14759]     
[14760]     "Yes, heart disease."
[14761]     
[14762]     "No, my dear; manslaughter."
[14763]     
[14764]     Margaret drove her fingers through the grass. The hill
[14765]     beneath her moved as if it was alive.
[14766]     
[14767]     "Manslaughter," repeated Mr. Wilcox. "Charles may go to
[14768]     prison. I dare not tell him. I don't know what to do--what
[14769]     to do. I'm broken--I'm ended. "
[14770]     
[14771]     No sudden warmth arose in her. She did not see that to
[14772]     break him was her only hope. She did not enfold the
[14773]     sufferer in her arms. But all through that day and the next
[14774]     a new life began to move. The verdict was brought in.
[14775]     Charles was committed for trial. It was against all reason
[14776]     that he should be punished, but the law, being made in his
[14777]     image, sentenced him to three years' imprisonment. Then
[14778]     Henry's fortress gave way. He could bear no one but his
[14779]     wife, he shambled up to Margaret afterwards and asked her to
[14780]     do what she could with him. She did what seemed
[14781]     easiest--she took him down to recruit at Howards End.
[14782]     
[14783]     
[14784]     Chapter 44
[14785]     
[14786]     Tom's father was cutting the big meadow. He passed again
[14787]     and again amid whirring blades and sweet odours of grass,
[14788]     encompassing with narrowing circles the sacred centre of the
[14789]     field. Tom was negotiating with Helen.
[14790]     
[14791]     "I haven't any idea," she replied. "Do you suppose baby
[14792]     may, Meg?"
[14793]     
[14794]     Margaret put down her work and regarded them absently.
[14795]     "What was that?" she asked.
[14796]     
[14797]     "Tom wants to know whether baby is old enough to play
[14798]     with hay?"
[14799]     
[14800]     "I haven't the least notion," answered Margaret, and
[14801]     took up her work again.
[14802]     
[14803]     "Now, Tom, baby is not to stand; he is not to lie on his
[14804]     face; he is not to lie so that his head wags; he is not to
[14805]     be teased or tickled; and he is not to be cut into two or
[14806]     more pieces by the cutter. Will you be as careful as all that?"
[14807]     
[14808]     Tom held out his arms.
[14809]     
[14810]     "That child is a wonderful nursemaid," remarked Margaret.
[14811]     
[14812]     "He is fond of baby. That's why he does it!" was
[14813]     Helen's answer. They're going to be lifelong friends."
[14814]     
[14815]     "Starting at the ages of six and one?"
[14816]     
[14817]     "Of course. It will be a great thing for Tom."
[14818]     
[14819]     "It may be a greater thing for baby."
[14820]     
[14821]     Fourteen months had passed, but Margaret still stopped
[14822]     at Howards End. No better plan had occurred to her. The
[14823]     meadow was being recut, the great red poppies were reopening
[14824]     in the garden. July would follow with the little red
[14825]     poppies among the wheat, August with the cutting of the
[14826]     wheat. These little events would become part of her year
[14827]     after year. Every summer she would fear lest the well
[14828]     should give out, every winter lest the pipes should freeze;
[14829]     every westerly gale might blow the wych-elm down and bring
[14830]     the end of all things, and so she could not read or talk
[14831]     during a westerly gale. The air was tranquil now. She and
[14832]     her sister were sitting on the remains of Evie's mockery,
[14833]     where the lawn merged into the field.
[14834]     
[14835]     "What a time they all are!" said Helen. "What can they
[14836]     be doing inside?" Margaret, who was growing less talkative,
[14837]     made no answer. The noise of the cutter came
[14838]     intermittently, like the breaking of waves. Close by them a
[14839]     man was preparing to scythe out one of the dell-holes.
[14840]     
[14841]     "I wish Henry was out to enjoy this," said Helen. "This
[14842]     lovely weather and to be shut up in the house! It's very hard."
[14843]     
[14844]     "It has to be," said Margaret. "The hay-fever is his
[14845]     chief objection against living here, but he thinks it worth while."
[14846]     
[14847]     "Meg, is or isn't he ill? I can't make out."
[14848]     
[14849]     "Not ill. Eternally tired. He has worked very hard all
[14850]     his life, and noticed nothing. Those are the people who
[14851]     collapse when they do notice a thing."
[14852]     
[14853]     "I suppose he worries dreadfully about his part of the tangle."
[14854]     
[14855]     "Dreadfully. That is why I wish Dolly had not come,
[14856]     too, today. Still, he wanted them all to come. It has to be."
[14857]     
[14858]     "Why does he want them?"
[14859]     
[14860]     Margaret did not answer.
[14861]     
[14862]     "Meg, may I tell you something? I like Henry."
[14863]     
[14864]     "You'd be odd if you didn't," said Margaret.
[14865]     
[14866]     "I usen't to."
[14867]     
[14868]     "Usen't!" She lowered her eyes a moment to the black
[14869]     abyss of the past. They had crossed it, always excepting
[14870]     Leonard and Charles. They were building up a new life,
[14871]     obscure, yet gilded with tranquillity. Leonard was dead;
[14872]     Charles had two years more in prison. One usen't always to
[14873]     see clearly before that time. It was different now.
[14874]     
[14875]     "I like Henry because he does worry."
[14876]     
[14877]     "And he likes you because you don't."
[14878]     
[14879]     Helen sighed. She seemed humiliated, and buried her
[14880]     face in her hands. After a time she said: "Above love," a
[14881]     transition less abrupt than it appeared.
[14882]     
[14883]     Margaret never stopped working.
[14884]     
[14885]     "I mean a woman's love for a man. I supposed I should
[14886]     hang my life on to that once, and was driven up and down and
[14887]     about as if something was worrying through me. But
[14888]     everything is peaceful now; I seem cured. That Herr
[14889]     Forstmeister, whom Frieda keeps writing about, must be a
[14890]     noble character, but he doesn't see that I shall never marry
[14891]     him or anyone. It isn't shame or mistrust of myself. I
[14892]     simply couldn't. I'm ended. I used to be so dreamy about a
[14893]     man's love as a girl, and think that for good or evil love
[14894]     must be the great thing. But it hasn't been; it has been
[14895]     itself a dream. Do you agree?"
[14896]     
[14897]     "I do not agree. I do not."
[14898]     
[14899]     "I ought to remember Leonard as my lover," said Helen,
[14900]     stepping down into the field. "I tempted him, and killed
[14901]     him and it is surely the least I can do. I would like to
[14902]     throw out all my heart to Leonard on such an afternoon as
[14903]     this. But I cannot. It is no good pretending. I am
[14904]     forgetting him." Her eyes filled with tears. "How nothing
[14905]     seems to match--how, my darling, my precious--" She broke
[14906]     off. "Tommy!"
[14907]     
[14908]     "Yes, please?"
[14909]     
[14910]     "Baby's not to try and stand.--There's something wanting
[14911]     in me. I see you loving Henry, and understanding him better
[14912]     daily, and I know that death wouldn't part you in the
[14913]     least. But I--Is it some awful appalling, criminal defect?"
[14914]     
[14915]     Margaret silenced her. She said: "It is only that
[14916]     people are far more different than is pretended. All over
[14917]     the world men and women are worrying because they cannot
[14918]     develop as they are supposed to develop. Here and there
[14919]     they have the matter out, and it comforts them. Don't fret
[14920]     yourself, Helen. Develop what you have; love your child. I
[14921]     do not love children. I am thankful to have none. I can
[14922]     play with their beauty and charm, but that is all--nothing
[14923]     real, not one scrap of what there ought to be. And
[14924]     others--others go farther still, and move outside humanity
[14925]     altogether. A place, as well as a person, may catch the
[14926]     glow. Don't you see that all this leads to comfort in the
[14927]     end? It is part of the battle against sameness.
[14928]     Differences--eternal differences, planted by God in a single
[14929]     family, so that there may always be colour; sorrow perhaps,
[14930]     but colour in the daily grey. Then I can't have you
[14931]     worrying about Leonard. Don't drag in the personal when it
[14932]     will not come. Forget him."
[14933]     
[14934]     "Yes, yes, but what has Leonard got out of life?"
[14935]     
[14936]     "Perhaps an adventure."
[14937]     
[14938]     "Is that enough?"
[14939]     
[14940]     "Not for us. But for him."
[14941]     
[14942]     Helen took up a bunch of grass. She looked at the
[14943]     sorrel, and the red and white and yellow clover, and the
[14944]     quaker grass, and the daisies, and the bents that composed
[14945]     it. She raised it to her face.
[14946]     
[14947]     "Is it sweetening yet?" asked Margaret.
[14948]     
[14949]     "No, only withered."
[14950]     
[14951]     "It will sweeten tomorrow."
[14952]     
[14953]     Helen smiled. "Oh, Meg, you are a person," she said.
[14954]     "Think of the racket and torture this time last year. But
[14955]     now I couldn't stop unhappy if I tried. What a change--and
[14956]     all through you!"
[14957]     
[14958]     "Oh, we merely settled down. You and Henry learnt to
[14959]     understand one another and to forgive, all through the
[14960]     autumn and the winter."
[14961]     
[14962]     "Yes, but who settled us down?"
[14963]     
[14964]     Margaret did not reply. The scything had begun, and she
[14965]     took off her pince-nez to watch it.
[14966]     
[14967]     "You!" cried Helen. "You did it all, sweetest, though
[14968]     you're too stupid to see. Living here was your plan--I
[14969]     wanted you; he wanted you; and every one said it was
[14970]     impossible, but you knew. Just think of our lives without
[14971]     you, Meg--I and baby with Monica, revolting by theory, he
[14972]     handed about from Dolly to Evie. But you picked up the
[14973]     pieces, and made us a home. Can't it strike you--even for a
[14974]     moment--that your life has been heroic? Can't you remember
[14975]     the two months after Charles's arrest, when you began to
[14976]     act, and did all?"
[14977]     
[14978]     "You were both ill at the time," said Margaret. "I did
[14979]     the obvious things. I had two invalids to nurse. Here was
[14980]     a house, ready furnished and empty. It was obvious. I
[14981]     didn't know myself it would turn into a permanent home. No
[14982]     doubt I have done a little towards straightening the tangle,
[14983]     but things that I can't phrase have helped me."
[14984]     
[14985]     "I hope it will be permanent," said Helen, drifting away
[14986]     to other thoughts.
[14987]     
[14988]     "I think so. There are moments when I feel Howards End
[14989]     peculiarly our own."
[14990]     
[14991]     "All the same, London's creeping."
[14992]     
[14993]     She pointed over the meadow--over eight or nine meadows,
[14994]     but at the end of them was a red rust.
[14995]     
[14996]     "You see that in Surrey and even Hampshire now," she
[14997]     continued. "I can see it from the Purbeck Downs. And
[14998]     London is only part of something else, I'm afraid. Life's
[14999]     going to be melted down, all over the world."
[15000]     
[15001]     Margaret knew that her sister spoke truly. Howards End,
[15002]     Oniton, the Purbeck Downs, the Oderberge, were all
[15003]     survivals, and the melting-pot was being prepared for them.
[15004]     Logically, they had no right to be alive. One's hope was in
[15005]     the weakness of logic. Were they possibly the earth beating
[15006]     time?
[15007]     
[15008]     "Because a thing is going strong now, it need not go
[15009]     strong for ever," she said. "This craze for motion has only
[15010]     set in during the last hundred years. It may be followed by
[15011]     a civilization that won't be a movement, because it will
[15012]     rest on the earth. All the signs are against it now, but I
[15013]     can't help hoping, and very early in the morning in the
[15014]     garden I feel that our house is the future as well as the past."
[15015]     
[15016]     They turned and looked at it. Their own memories
[15017]     coloured it now, for Helen's child had been born in the
[15018]     central room of the nine. Then Margaret said, "Oh, take
[15019]     care--!" for something moved behind the window of the hall,
[15020]     and the door opened.
[15021]     
[15022]     "The conclave's breaking at last. I'll go."
[15023]     
[15024]     It was Paul.
[15025]     
[15026]     Helen retreated with the children far into the field.
[15027]     Friendly voices greeted her. Margaret rose, to encounter a
[15028]     man with a heavy black moustache.
[15029]     
[15030]     "My father has asked for you," he said with hostility.
[15031]     She took her work and followed him.
[15032]     
[15033]     "We have been talking business," he continued, "but I
[15034]     dare say you knew all about it beforehand."
[15035]     
[15036]     "Yes, I did."
[15037]     
[15038]     Clumsy of movement--for he had spent all his life in the
[15039]     saddle--Paul drove his foot against the paint of the front
[15040]     door. Mrs. Wilcox gave a little cry of annoyance. She did
[15041]     not like anything scratched; she stopped in the hall to take
[15042]     Dolly's boa and gloves out of a vase.
[15043]     
[15044]     Her husband was lying in a great leather chair in the
[15045]     dining-room, and by his side, holding his hand rather
[15046]     ostentatiously, was Evie. Dolly, dressed in purple, sat
[15047]     near the window. The room was a little dark and airless;
[15048]     they were obliged to keep it like this until the carting of
[15049]     the hay. Margaret joined the family without speaking; the
[15050]     five of them had met already at tea, and she knew quite well
[15051]     what was going to be said. Averse to wasting her time, she
[15052]     went on sewing. The clock struck six.
[15053]     
[15054]     "Is this going to suit every one?" said Henry in a weary
[15055]     voice. He used the old phrases, but their effect was
[15056]     unexpected and shadowy. "Because I don't want you all
[15057]     coming here later on and complaining that I have been unfair."
[15058]     
[15059]     "It's apparently got to suit us," said Paul.
[15060]     
[15061]     "I beg your pardon, my boy. You have only to speak, and
[15062]     I will leave the house to you instead."
[15063]     
[15064]     Paul frowned ill-temperedly, and began scratching at his
[15065]     arm. "As I've given up the outdoor life that suited me, and
[15066]     I have come home to look after the business, it's no good my
[15067]     settling down here," he said at last. "It's not really the
[15068]     country, and it's not the town."
[15069]     
[15070]     "Very well. Does my arrangement suit you, Evie?"
[15071]     
[15072]     "Of course, Father."
[15073]     
[15074]     "And you, Dolly?"
[15075]     
[15076]     Dolly raised her faded little face, which sorrow could
[15077]     wither but not steady. "Perfectly splendidly," she said.
[15078]     "I thought Charles wanted it for the boys, but last time I
[15079]     saw him he said no, because we cannot possibly live in this
[15080]     part of England again. Charles says we ought to change our
[15081]     name, but I cannot think what to, for Wilcox just suits
[15082]     Charles and me, and I can't think of any other name."
[15083]     
[15084]     There was a general silence. Dolly looked nervously
[15085]     round, fearing that she had been inappropriate. Paul
[15086]     continued to scratch his arm.
[15087]     
[15088]     "Then I leave Howards End to my wife absolutely," said
[15089]     Henry. "And let every one understand that; and after I am
[15090]     dead let there be no jealousy and no surprise."
[15091]     
[15092]     Margaret did not answer. There was something uncanny in
[15093]     her triumph. She, who had never expected to conquer anyone,
[15094]     had charged straight through these Wilcoxes and broken up
[15095]     their lives.
[15096]     
[15097]     "In consequence, I leave my wife no money," said Henry.
[15098]     "That is her own wish. All that she would have had will be
[15099]     divided among you. I am also giving you a great deal in my
[15100]     lifetime, so that you may be independent of me. That is her
[15101]     wish, too. She also is giving away a great deal of money.
[15102]     She intends to diminish her income by half during the next
[15103]     ten years; she intends when she dies to leave the house to
[15104]     her--to her nephew, down in the field. Is all that clear?
[15105]     Does every one understand?"
[15106]     
[15107]     Paul rose to his feet. He was accustomed to natives,
[15108]     and a very little shook him out of the Englishman. Feeling
[15109]     manly and cynical, he said: "Down in the field? Oh, come!
[15110]     I think we might have had the whole establishment,
[15111]     piccaninnies included."
[15112]     
[15113]     Mrs. Cahill whispered: "Don't, Paul. You promised you'd
[15114]     take care." Feeling a woman of the world, she rose and
[15115]     prepared to take her leave.
[15116]     
[15117]     Her father kissed her. "Good-bye, old girl," he said;
[15118]     "don't you worry about me. "
[15119]     
[15120]     "Good-bye, Dad."
[15121]     
[15122]     Then it was Dolly's turn. Anxious to contribute, she
[15123]     laughed nervously, and said: "Good-bye, Mr. Wilcox. It does
[15124]     seem curious that Mrs. Wilcox should have left Margaret
[15125]     Howards End, and yet she get it, after all."
[15126]     
[15127]     From Evie came a sharply-drawn breath. "Good-bye," she
[15128]     said to Margaret, and kissed her.
[15129]     
[15130]     And again and again fell the word, like the ebb of a
[15131]     dying sea.
[15132]     
[15133]     "Good-bye."
[15134]     
[15135]     "Good-bye, Dolly."
[15136]     
[15137]     "So long, Father."
[15138]     
[15139]     "Good-bye, my boy; always take care of yourself."
[15140]     
[15141]     "Good-bye, Mrs. Wilcox."
[15142]     
[15143]     "Good-bye.
[15144]     
[15145]     Margaret saw their visitors to the gate. Then she
[15146]     returned to her husband and laid her head in his hands. He
[15147]     was pitiably tired. But Dolly's remark had interested her.
[15148]     At last she said: "Could you tell me, Henry, what was that
[15149]     about Mrs. Wilcox having left me Howards End?"
[15150]     
[15151]     Tranquilly he replied: "Yes, she did. But that is a
[15152]     very old story. When she was ill and you were so kind to
[15153]     her she wanted to make you some return, and, not being
[15154]     herself at the time, scribbled 'Howards End' on a piece of
[15155]     paper. I went into it thoroughly, and, as it was clearly
[15156]     fanciful, I set it aside, little knowing what my Margaret
[15157]     would be to me in the future."
[15158]     
[15159]     Margaret was silent. Something shook her life in its
[15160]     inmost recesses, and she shivered.
[15161]     
[15162]     "I didn't do wrong, did I?" he asked, bending down.
[15163]     
[15164]     "You didn't, darling. Nothing has been done wrong."
[15165]     
[15166]     From the garden came laughter. "Here they are at last!"
[15167]     exclaimed Henry, disengaging himself with a smile. Helen
[15168]     rushed into the gloom, holding Tom by one hand and carrying
[15169]     her baby on the other. There were shouts of infectious joy.
[15170]     
[15171]     "The field's cut!" Helen cried excitedly--"the big
[15172]     meadow! We've seen to the very end, and it'll be such a
[15173]     crop of hay as never!"
[15174]     
[15175]     
[15176]       Weybridge, 1908-1910.
[15177]     
[15178]