Jude the Obscure by Thomas Hardy

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Jude the Obscure by Thomas Hardy.
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[Part First] [20] horse to carry his goods to the city of his destination, about twenty
[Part First] [24] by the master, in addition to the packing-case of books, was a
[Part First] [28] purchased article had been a perpetual trouble to him ever since in
[Part First] [32] sight of changes. He did not mean to return till the evening, when
[Part First] [39] should not know what to do with it on his arrival at Christminster,
[Part First] [47] found a place to settle in, sir."
[Part First] [54] to see about the practicability of the suggested shelter, and the boy
[Part First] [60] scholars, who came unromantically close to the schoolmaster's life,
[Part First] [64] disciples, indisposed to any enthusiastic volunteering of aid.
[Part First] [81] who wants to do anything in teaching. My scheme, or dream, is to be
[Part First] [82] a university graduate, and then to be ordained. By going to live at
[Part First] [83] Christminster, or near it, I shall be at headquarters, so to speak,
[Part First] [89] was dry, and eminently practicable; and she seemed willing to give
[Part First] [99] "Be a good boy, remember; and be kind to animals and birds, and read
[Part First] [100] all you can. And if ever you come to Christminster remember you hunt
[Part First] [104] by the rectory-house. The boy returned to the draw-well at the edge
[Part First] [105] of the greensward, where he had left his buckets when he went to help
[Part First] [107] now and after opening the well-cover to begin lowering the bucket he
[Part First] [117] He said to himself, in the melodramatic tones of a whimsical boy,
[Part First] [122] But he was too clever to bide here any longer--a small sleepy place
[Part First] [149] utilized as pig-sty walls, garden seats, guard-stones to fences, and
[Part First] [151] a tall new building of modern Gothic design, unfamiliar to English
[Part First] [154] in a day. The site whereon so long had stood the ancient temple to
[Part First] [158] warranted to last five years.
[Part First] [166] house-buckets of water to the cottage without resting. Over the door
[Part First] [185] gave a phrase of her conversation to each auditor in turn. "He come
[Part First] [187] for 'n, Belinda" (turning to the right) "where his father was living,
[Part First] [189] know, Caroline" (turning to the left). "It would ha' been a blessing
[Part First] [191] useless boy! But I've got him here to stay with me till I can see
[Part First] [192] what's to be done with un, though I am obliged to let him earn any
[Part First] [199] Miss or Mrs. Fawley's (as they called her indifferently) to have him
[Part First] [200] with her--"to kip 'ee company in your loneliness, fetch water, shet
[Part First] [203] Miss Fawley doubted it.... "Why didn't ye get the schoolmaster to
[Part First] [204] take 'ee to Christminster wi' un, and make a scholar of 'ee," she
[Part First] [213] Fawleys to take that step any more. She, their only one, was like
[Part First] [218] out to the bakehouse, where he ate the cake provided for his
[Part First] [221] path northward, till he came to a wide and lonely depression in the
[Part First] [236] The fresh harrow-lines seemed to stretch like the channellings in
[Part First] [237] a piece of new corduroy, lending a meanly utilitarian air to the
[Part First] [239] beyond that of the few recent months, though to every clod and stone
[Part First] [240] there really attached associations enough and to spare--echoes of
[Part First] [247] field from a distant plantation girls had given themselves to lovers
[Part First] [248] who would not turn their heads to look at them by the next harvest;
[Part First] [249] and in that ancient cornfield many a man had made love-promises to
[Part First] [254] in the other that of a granary good to feed in.
[Part First] [260] warily, and descending to feed at a more respectful distance.
[Part First] [264] himself, to be living in a world which did not want them. Why should
[Part First] [273] to let you have some. Eat, then my dear little birdies, and make a
[Part First] [282] and sordid instrument, offensive both to the birds and to himself
[Part First] [284] upon his buttocks, followed by a loud clack, which announced to his
[Part First] [305] fish swinging to land, and beholding the hill, the rick, the
[Part First] [310] Phillotson said I was to be kind to 'em--oh, oh, oh!"
[Part First] [312] This truthful explanation seemed to exasperate the farmer even more
[Part First] [315] to resound all across the field and as far as the ears of distant
[Part First] [319] structure the farmer had largely subscribed, to testify his love for
[Part First] [324] gave it him in payment for his day's work, telling him to go home and
[Part First] [332] in the parish, and hence might be a burden to his great-aunt for
[Part First] [335] With this shadow on his mind he did not care to show himself in the
[Part First] [340] impossible to advance in regular steps without crushing some of them
[Part First] [344] himself bear to hurt anything. He had never brought home a nest of
[Part First] [347] morning. He could scarcely bear to see trees cut down or lopped,
[Part First] [349] and the tree bled profusely, had been a positive grief to him in his
[Part First] [351] that he was the sort of man who was born to ache a good deal before
[Part First] [356] On entering the cottage he found his aunt selling a penny loaf to a
[Part First] [358] you come to be back here in the middle of the morning like this?"
[Part First] [373] myself, come to that. But 'tis as Job said, 'Now they that are
[Part First] [375] disdained to have set with the dogs of my flock.' His father was my
[Part First] [376] father's journeyman, anyhow, and I must have been a fool to let 'ee
[Part First] [377] go to work for 'n, which I shouldn't ha' done but to keep 'ee out of
[Part First] [386] go off with that schoolmaster of thine to Christminster or somewhere?
[Part First] [391] is gone to?" asked the boy, after meditating in silence.
[Part First] [393] "Lord! you ought to know where the city of Christminster is. Near a
[Part First] [395] to have much to do with, poor boy, I'm a-thinking."
[Part First] [401] "Could I go to see him?"
[Part First] [404] that. We've never had anything to do with folk in Christminster, nor
[Part First] [407] Jude went out, and, feeling more than ever his existence to be an
[Part First] [414] he had thought. Nature's logic was too horrid for him to care for.
[Part First] [417] to be at the centre of your time, and not at a point in its
[Part First] [420] to be something glaring, garish, rattling, and the noises and glares
[Part First] [424] If he could only prevent himself growing up! He did not want to be a
[Part First] [429] afternoon, when there was nothing more to be done, he went into the
[Part First] [439] farmer had said he was never to be seen in that field again; yet
[Part First] [454] it, and the white road seemed to ascend and diminish till it joined
[Part First] [458] down almost to within living memory had been used for driving flocks
[Part First] [459] and herds to fairs and markets. But it was now neglected and
[Part First] [468] to a distance of forty or fifty miles, spread itself before him; a
[Part First] [473] locality. He was about to pass it when he perceived a ladder against
[Part First] [475] could see, led Jude to stand and regard it. On the slope of the roof
[Part First] [484] "I wanted to know where the city of Christminster is, if you please."
[Part First] [490] his labour, had also turned to look towards the quarter designated.
[Part First] [498] see no Christminster to-day."
[Part First] [504] thereabout. When he repassed the barn to go back to Marygreen he
[Part First] [514] likely that the air would clear before night. Yet he was loth to
[Part First] [515] leave the spot, for the northern expanse became lost to view on
[Part First] [518] He ascended the ladder to have one more look at the point the men
[Part First] [520] the tiles. He might not be able to come so far as this for many
[Part First] [521] days. Perhaps if he prayed, the wish to see Christminster might be
[Part First] [522] forwarded. People said that, if you prayed, things sometimes came to
[Part First] [524] a man who had begun to build a church, and had no money to finish
[Part First] [542] the lapse of minutes, till the topaz points showed themselves to be
[Part First] [550] vague city became veiled in mist. Turning to the west, he saw that
[Part First] [556] trying not to think of giants, Herne the Hunter, Apollyon lying in
[Part First] [574] Through the solid barrier of cold cretaceous upland to the northward
[Part First] [576] likened to the new Jerusalem, though there was perhaps more of the
[Part First] [587] which was not often, he would steal off to the Brown House on the
[Part First] [588] hill and strain his eyes persistently; sometimes to be rewarded by
[Part First] [592] Then the day came when it suddenly occurred to him that if he
[Part First] [593] ascended to the point of view after dark, or possibly went a mile or
[Part First] [595] necessary to come back alone, but even that consideration did not
[Part First] [608] He set himself to wonder on the exact point in the glow where the
[Part First] [610] Marygreen now; who was as if dead to them here. In the glow he
[Part First] [611] seemed to see Phillotson promenading at ease, like one of the forms
[Part First] [627] calling to him, "We are happy here!"
[Part First] [629] He had become entirely lost to his bodily situation during this
[Part First] [630] mental leap, and only got back to it by a rough recalling. A few
[Part First] [637] one of the wheels, and allowed the panting animals to have a long
[Part First] [647] romantically attached to Christminster that, like a young lover
[Part First] [648] alluding to his mistress, he felt bashful at mentioning its name
[Part First] [649] again. He pointed to the light in the sky--hardly perceptible to
[Part First] [657] having brought them to read on his way hither before it grew dark,
[Part First] [661] "Ah, young man," he observed, "you'd have to get your head screwed on
[Part First] [675] Bob?--five years to turn a lirruping hobble-de-hoy chap into a solemn
[Part First] [679] collar and hat, same as they used to wear in the Scriptures, so that
[Part First] [691] to earn hundreds by thinking out loud. And some on 'em be strong
[Part First] [699] By this time the horses had recovered breath and bent to their
[Part First] [702] who had no objection to telling him as they moved on more yet of
[Part First] [710] picked up the knowledge here and there, and you be welcome to it.
[Part First] [713] used to clane the boots at the Crozier Hotel in Christminster when he
[Part First] [718] he forgot to feel timid. He suddenly grew older. It had been the
[Part First] [719] yearning of his heart to find something to anchor on, to cling
[Part First] [720] to--for some place which he could call admirable. Should he find
[Part First] [723] watch and wait, and set himself to some mighty undertaking like the
[Part First] [724] men of old of whom he had heard? As the halo had been to his eyes
[Part First] [726] mentally to him as he pursued his dark way.
[Part First] [728] "It is a city of light," he said to himself.
[Part First] [732] "It is a place that teachers of men spring from and go to."
[Part First] [749] notwithstanding the gloom, he could perceive to be wearing an
[Part First] [753] Jude, beginning to feel lonely, endeavoured to keep up with him.
[Part First] [755] "Well, my man! I'm in a hurry, so you'll have to walk pretty fast
[Part First] [763] Vilbert was an itinerant quack-doctor, well known to the rustic
[Part First] [764] population, and absolutely unknown to anybody else, as he, indeed,
[Part First] [765] took care to be, to avoid inconvenient investigations. Cottagers
[Part First] [772] coloured lard to an old woman as a certain cure for a bad leg, the
[Part First] [773] woman arranging to pay a guinea, in instalments of a shilling a
[Part First] [774] fortnight, for the precious salve, which, according to the physician,
[Part First] [776] Mount Sinai, and was to be captured only at great risk to life and
[Part First] [778] medicines, felt him to be unquestionably a travelled personage, and
[Part First] [782] "I s'pose you've been to Christminster, Physician?"
[Part First] [792] used to call it in my undergraduate days."
[Part First] [797] they may be able to read the New Testament in the original."
[Part First] [799] "I want to learn Latin and Greek myself."
[Part First] [803] "I mean to go to Christminster some day."
[Part First] [811] "Can you get me the grammars if I promise to say it hereabout?"
[Part First] [821] lesson, if you'll remember, at every house in the village, to
[Part First] [831] "Here I'll be to meet you," said Jude.
[Part First] [837] Jude then dropped behind, waited a few minutes to recover breath,
[Part First] [842] at his inward thoughts, as if they were people meeting and nodding to
[Part First] [844] to spread on young faces at the inception of some glorious idea, as
[Part First] [846] giving rise to the flattering fancy that heaven lies about them then.
[Part First] [848] He honestly performed his promise to the man of many cures, in whom
[Part First] [853] The road-physician was fairly up to time; but, to the surprise of
[Part First] [855] by a single unit of force, the latter seemed hardly to recognize his
[Part First] [857] had grown light. Jude thought it might perhaps be owing to his
[Part First] [864] "You? who are you? Oh yes--to be sure! Got any orders, lad?"
[Part First] [867] who were willing to test the virtues of the world-renowned pills and
[Part First] [875] "You were to bring me yours, that you used before you took your
[Part First] [880] would like to other things."
[Part First] [882] Jude controlled himself sufficiently long to make sure of the truth;
[Part First] [889] sudden insight which is sometimes vouchsafed to children showed him
[Part First] [890] all at once what shoddy humanity the quack was made of. There was to
[Part First] [892] his imaginary crown of laurel; he turned to a gate, leant against it,
[Part First] [896] might, perhaps, have obtained grammars from Alfredston, but to do
[Part First] [897] that required money, and a knowledge of what books to order; and
[Part First] [899] to be without a farthing of his own.
[Part First] [902] a lead. Why should he not write to the schoolmaster, and ask him to
[Part First] [903] be so kind as to get him the grammars in Christminster? He might
[Part First] [905] sure to reach the desired eyes. Why not ask him to send any old
[Part First] [909] To tell his aunt of his intention would be to defeat it. It was
[Part First] [910] necessary to act alone.
[Part First] [913] day of the piano's departure, which happened to be his next birthday,
[Part First] [914] clandestinely placed the letter inside the packing-case, directed to
[Part First] [915] his much-admired friend, being afraid to reveal the operation to his
[Part First] [916] aunt Drusilla, lest she should discover his motive, and compel him to
[Part First] [923] away into a lonely place, and sat down on a felled elm to open it.
[Part First] [931] enable him, by merely applying it, to change at will all words of his
[Part First] [933] fact, a pushing to the extremity of mathematical precision what is
[Part First] [934] everywhere known as Grimm's Law--an aggrandizement of rough rules to
[Part First] [936] language were always to be found somewhere latent in the words of the
[Part First] [937] given language by those who had the art to uncover them, such art
[Part First] [941] Christminster, he cut the string, opened the volumes, and turned to
[Part First] [942] the Latin grammar, which chanced to come uppermost, he could scarcely
[Part First] [946] wantonly over with a strange name in every variety of enmity to the
[Part First] [952] Latin and Greek was to be individually committed to memory at the
[Part First] [964] presently thought, to learn words one by one up to tens of thousands!
[Part First] [965] There were no brains in his head equal to this business; and as the
[Part First] [966] little sun-rays continued to stream in through his hat at him, he
[Part First] [974] gigantic error Jude continued to wish himself out of the world.
[Part First] [986] Jude had grown callous to the shabby trick played him by the dead
[Part First] [989] glorifying the erudition of Christminster. To acquire languages,
[Part First] [991] inherently to possess, was a herculean performance which gradually
[Part First] [992] led him on to a greater interest in it than in the presupposed patent
[Part First] [995] mouselike subtlety of attempt to move it piecemeal.
[Part First] [997] He had endeavoured to make his presence tolerable to his crusty
[Part First] [998] maiden aunt by assisting her to the best of his ability, and the
[Part First] [1003] week to carry loaves of bread to the villagers and solitary cotters
[Part First] [1010] at which he was to pause awhile, the boy, seated in front, would
[Part First] [1012] strap attached to the tilt, the volume he was reading, spread the
[Part First] [1018] spirit of the original, which often to his mind was something else
[Part First] [1019] than that which he was taught to look for.
[Part First] [1021] The only copies he had been able to lay hands on were old Delphin
[Part First] [1027] have happened to be passing by. And though Jude may have had little
[Part First] [1029] in the way of getting into the groove he wished to follow.
[Part First] [1036] to-day, baker, and I return this stale one."
[Part First] [1040] began to talk about his method of combining work and play (such they
[Part First] [1041] considered his reading to be), which, though probably convenient
[Part First] [1042] enough to himself, was not altogether a safe proceeding for other
[Part First] [1045] baker's boy should not be allowed to read while driving, and insisted
[Part First] [1046] that it was the constable's duty to catch him in the act, and
[Part First] [1047] take him to the police court at Alfredston, and get him fined for
[Part First] [1051] As Jude had to get up at three o'clock in the morning to heat the
[Part First] [1053] day, he was obliged to go to bed at night immediately after laying
[Part First] [1055] he could hardly study at all. The only thing to be done was,
[Part First] [1056] therefore, to keep a sharp eye ahead and around him as well as he
[Part First] [1058] anybody loomed in the distance, the policeman in particular. To do
[Part First] [1061] chief danger was to Jude himself, and often on seeing the white tilt
[Part First] [1066] his way home, he found himself to be passing over the high edge of
[Part First] [1068] the sense of this which had caused him to look up. The sun was going
[Part First] [1072] before had caused him to kneel on the ladder, he stopped the horse,
[Part First] [1073] alighted, and glancing round to see that nobody was in sight, knelt
[Part First] [1074] down on the roadside bank with open book. He turned first to the
[Part First] [1075] shiny goddess, who seemed to look so softly and critically at his
[Part First] [1076] doings, then to the disappearing luminary on the other hand, as he
[Part First] [1089] to such a lapse from common sense and custom in one who wished, next
[Part First] [1090] to being a scholar, to be a Christian divine. It had all come of
[Part First] [1092] more convinced he was of his inconsistency. He began to wonder
[Part First] [1104] entirely to the Gospels and Epistles in Griesbach's text. Moreover,
[Part First] [1105] on going into Alfredston one day, he was introduced to patristic
[Part First] [1116] resolved as firmly as ever to go.
[Part First] [1126] third requisite he inclined to. They built in a city; therefore he
[Part First] [1127] would learn to build. He thought of his unknown uncle, his cousin
[Part First] [1141] business, he offered his services to this man for a trifling wage.
[Part First] [1143] freestone-working. Some time later he went to a church-builder in
[Part First] [1149] a prop to lean on while he prepared those greater engines which
[Part First] [1152] during the week in the little town, whence he returned to Marygreen
[Part First] [1162] from Alfredston to Marygreen about three o'clock in the afternoon.
[Part First] [1167] he did not usually frequent, having promised to call at a flour-mill
[Part First] [1168] near Cresscombe to execute a commission for his aunt.
[Part First] [1170] He was in an enthusiastic mood. He seemed to see his way to living
[Part First] [1174] now, in some capacity or other, but he preferred to enter the city
[Part First] [1175] with a little more assurance as to means than he could be said to
[Part First] [1178] to face the peeps of country on either side of him. But he hardly
[Part First] [1180] accustomed to do when less occupied; and the one matter which really
[Part First] [1183] "I have acquired quite an average student's power to read the
[Part First] [1186] great ease to himself to beguile his lonely walks by imaginary
[Part First] [1208] get, that my present knowledge will appear to me but as childish
[Part First] [1210] shall open its doors to me--shall welcome whom now it would spurn,
[Part First] [1215] And then he continued to dream, and thought he might become even a
[Part First] [1225] the books I have not been able to get hold of here: Livy, Tacitus,
[Part First] [1272] "I DIDN'T throw it, I tell you!" asserted one girl to her neighbour,
[Part First] [1286] "YOU didn't do it--oh no!" he said to the up-stream one of the three.
[Part First] [1293] animal--no more, no less; and Jude was almost certain that to her was
[Part First] [1295] of the humaner letters to what was simmering in the minds around him.
[Part First] [1303] "But you want to speak to me, I suppose?"
[Part First] [1305] "Oh yes; if you like to."
[Part First] [1307] "Shall I clamber across, or will you come to the plank above here?"
[Part First] [1316] in commonplace obedience to conjunctive orders from headquarters,
[Part First] [1318] their lives is to be occupied with the feminine.
[Part First] [1320] Springing to her feet, she said: "Bring back what is lying there."
[Part First] [1323] father's business had prompted her signal to him. He set down his
[Part First] [1327] plank bridge. As the girl drew nearer to it, she gave without Jude
[Part First] [1328] perceiving it, an adroit little suck to the interior of each of her
[Part First] [1331] dimple, which she was able to retain there as long as she continued
[Part First] [1332] to smile. This production of dimples at will was a not unknown
[Part First] [1337] missile, seemed to expect her to explain why she had audaciously
[Part First] [1354] to its truth.
[Part First] [1360] "Ah, no. Shall I tell it to you?"
[Part First] [1374] unvoiced call of woman to man, which was uttered very distinctly
[Part First] [1375] by Arabella's personality, held Jude to the spot against his
[Part First] [1376] intention--almost against his will, and in a way new to his
[Part First] [1377] experience. It is scarcely an exaggeration to say that till this
[Part First] [1378] moment Jude had never looked at a woman to consider her as such, but
[Part First] [1380] He gazed from her eyes to her mouth, thence to her bosom, and to her
[Part First] [1385] not been necessary to express his sense of her magnetism.
[Part First] [1391] "That's for you to think on. There's nobody after me just now,
[Part First] [1400] By this time she had managed to get back one dimple by turning
[Part First] [1404] "To-morrow, that is?"
[Part First] [1421] by a sheet of glass. The intentions as to reading, working, and
[Part First] [1426] "Well, it's only a bit of fun," he said to himself, faintly conscious
[Part First] [1427] that to common sense there was something lacking, and still more
[Part First] [1429] drawn him to her which made it necessary that he should assert mere
[Part First] [1431] her quite antipathetic to that side of him which had been occupied
[Part First] [1437] this passing discriminative power was withdrawn, and Jude was lost to
[Part First] [1440] unsuspected, though it had lain close beside him. He was to meet
[Part First] [1452] "Lord! he's nobody, though you med think so. He used to drive old
[Part First] [1455] always reading. He wants to be a scholar, they say."
[Part First] [1460] "Oh, don't ye! You needn't try to deceive us! What did you stay
[Part First] [1461] talking to him for, if you didn't want un? Whether you do or whether
[Part First] [1464] before in his born days. Well, he's to be had by any woman who can
[Part First] [1465] get him to care for her a bit, if she likes to set herself to catch
[Part First] [1479] Arabella Donn. During the whole bygone week he had been resolving to
[Part First] [1484] having obtained it by boldly writing to its London publisher, a thing
[Part First] [1495] He would not go out to meet her, after all. He sat down, opened the
[Part First] [1497] to his temples, began at the beginning:
[Part First] [1503] Had he promised to call for her? Surely he had! She would wait
[Part First] [1506] promises. He ought not to break faith with her. Even though he had
[Part First] [1509] to-day he would never probably see her again. Indeed, it would be
[Part First] [1515] This seemed to care little for his reason and his will, nothing for
[Part First] [1531] easily, and a good long time would still remain to him for reading
[Part First] [1535] joined the highway he hastened along, and struck away to the left,
[Part First] [1536] descending the steep side of the country to the west of the Brown
[Part First] [1549] it evidently wore to the speaker was the last thing he was thinking
[Part First] [1550] of. He was going to walk with her, perhaps kiss her; but "courting"
[Part First] [1551] was too coolly purposeful to be anything but repugnant to his ideas.
[Part First] [1559] "I'd rather go out at once, wouldn't you?" she whispered to Jude.
[Part First] [1561] "Yes," said he. "We'll walk up to the Brown House and back, we can
[Part First] [1568] First they clambered to the top of the great down, during which
[Part First] [1569] ascent he had occasionally to take her hand to assist her. Then
[Part First] [1570] they bore off to the left along the crest into the ridgeway, which
[Part First] [1572] House aforesaid, the spot of his former fervid desires to behold
[Part First] [1574] local twaddle to Arabella with greater zest than he would have felt
[Part First] [1576] adored university, and passed the spot where he had knelt to Diana
[Part First] [1580] of heel served to lift him along; and Jude, the incipient scholar,
[Part First] [1583] wench in agreeing to take a walk with him in her Sunday frock and
[Part First] [1587] to turn back. While looking over the vast northern landscape from
[Part First] [1595] The tenderness which had grown up in Jude's bosom left him no will to
[Part First] [1612] had a long time to wait. The maid-servant recognized Jude, and
[Part First] [1613] whispered her surprise to her mistress in the background, that he,
[Part First] [1615] descended so low as to keep company with Arabella. The latter
[Part First] [1628] It began to grow dusk. They could not wait longer, really, for the
[Part First] [1634] "Beer, oh yes. I had forgotten that. Somehow it seems odd to come
[Part First] [1635] to a public-house for beer on a Sunday evening."
[Part First] [1647] but it is bad to read on, and I find coffee better. But this seems
[Part First] [1652] much to Jude's surprise.
[Part First] [1656] Nevertheless she returned to the beer and drank her share, and they
[Part First] [1660] arm round her waist, but he did not; he merely said what to himself
[Part First] [1663] She took it, thoroughly, up to the shoulder. He felt the warmth of
[Part First] [1669] "Yes," said she; adding to herself: "Rather mild!"
[Part First] [1675] this point the only way of getting to Arabella's was by going up the
[Part First] [1693] hint, and encircling her waist with his arm, pulled her to him and
[Part First] [1698] to himself. When they were half-way up the long hill they paused as
[Part First] [1702] "You can keep your arm there, if you would like to," she said gently.
[Part First] [1707] at half-past three, intending to be sitting down again to the New
[Part First] [1709] embrace, he stood to deliver her up at her father's door.
[Part First] [1711] She asked him to come in, if only for a minute, as it would seem so
[Part First] [1714] found, in addition to her parents, several neighbours sitting round.
[Part First] [1718] They did not belong to his set or circle, and he felt out of place
[Part First] [1721] not stay longer than to speak to her stepmother, a simple, quiet
[Part First] [1726] sway in his soul. He walked as if he felt himself to be another man
[Part First] [1727] from the Jude of yesterday. What were his books to him? what were
[Part First] [1728] his intentions, hitherto adhered to so strictly, as to not wasting a
[Part First] [1730] point of view to define that: he was just living for the first
[Part First] [1731] time: not wasting life. It was better to love a woman than to be a
[Part First] [1734] When he got back to the house his aunt had gone to bed, and a general
[Part First] [1749] Jude had to leave early next morning for his usual week of absence at
[Part First] [1768] which nothing could fill. A pollard willow stood close to the place,
[Part First] [1772] if he had had only the week to live.
[Part First] [1777] the subject to the other two.
[Part First] [1786] "You've got him to care for 'ee a bit, 'nation if you han't!"
[Part First] [1787] murmured Anny judicially. "It's well to be you!"
[Part First] [1790] latent sensuousness: "I've got him to care for me: yes! But I want
[Part First] [1791] him to more than care for me; I want him to have me--to marry me! I
[Part First] [1793] for. I shall go mad if I can't give myself to him altogether! I
[Part First] [1796] "As he is a romancing, straightfor'ard, honest chap, he's to be had,
[Part First] [1814] "Yes. And how do you mean--a sure way to gain a man? Take me for an
[Part First] [1829] in drollery began smirking. Then one went up close to Arabella, and,
[Part First] [1843] whispered; but not to them.
[Part First] [1850] One week's end Jude was as usual walking out to his aunt's at
[Part First] [1852] attractions for him quite other than his desire to see his aged and
[Part First] [1853] morose relative. He diverged to the right before ascending the hill
[Part First] [1860] was endeavouring unassisted to drive them in through the door which
[Part First] [1862] rigidity of business to the softness of love when she saw Jude, and
[Part First] [1866] "They were only put in this morning!" she cried, stimulated to pursue
[Part First] [1869] They are wanting to get home again, the stupid toads! Will you shut
[Part First] [1870] the garden gate, dear, and help me to get 'em in. There are no men
[Part First] [1873] He set himself to assist, and dodged this way and that over the
[Part First] [1884] barely contriving to keep the fugitive in sight. Occasionally they
[Part First] [1885] would shout to some boy to stop the animal, but he always wriggled
[Part First] [1893] the way back if you do that. They ought to have been carted over."
[Part First] [1895] By this time the pig had reached an unfastened gate admitting to the
[Part First] [1897] afforded. As soon as the pursuers had entered and ascended to the
[Part First] [1898] top of the high ground it became apparent that they would have to run
[Part First] [1899] all the way to the farmer's if they wished to get at him. From this
[Part First] [1910] pulling Jude on to his knees at the same time.
[Part First] [1928] to them without their seeing him. They were, in fact, on one of the
[Part First] [1944] "Why, on the limb there where it branches off--close to the moving
[Part First] [1953] "I don't care to see it, dear: why should I?" he replied looking
[Part First] [1958] "I want you to let me kiss you. I've been waiting to ever so long!"
[Part First] [1961] at him; then with a slight curl of the lip sprang to her feet, and
[Part First] [1974] he tried to take her hand or clasp her waist. Thus they descended
[Part First] [1975] to the precincts of her father's homestead, and Arabella went in,
[Part First] [1976] nodding good-bye to him with a supercilious, affronted air.
[Part First] [1978] "I expect I took too much liberty with her, somehow," Jude said to
[Part First] [1979] himself, as he withdrew with a sigh and went on to Marygreen.
[Part First] [1989] She at once spoke playfully to Arabella: "I zeed 'ee running with
[Part First] [1990] 'un--hee-hee! I hope 'tis coming to something?"
[Part First] [2005] When the gossip had departed Arabella said suddenly to her mother:
[Part First] [2006] "I want you and Father to go and inquire how the Edlins be, this
[Part First] [2008] can walk to that."
[Part First] [2010] "Oh? What's up to-night, then?"
[Part First] [2012] "Nothing. Only I want the house to myself. He's shy; and I can't
[Part First] [2013] get un to come in when you are here. I shall let him slip through my
[Part First] [2019] for weeks ceased to look into a book of Greek, Latin, or any other
[Part First] [2021] track along the ridge, which they followed to the circular British
[Part First] [2025] chime of church bells. Presently they were reduced to one note,
[Part First] [2028] "Now we'll go back," said Arabella, who had attended to the sounds.
[Part First] [2032] come in. Why are you in such a hurry to go in to-night? It is not
[Part First] [2038] "Ah--they are gone to church," she added. And searching behind the
[Part First] [2046] would rather sit and talk to her. She took off her jacket and hat,
[Part First] [2063] in case of accidents. Having exhibited it to him she put it back,
[Part First] [2064] "Now mind you don't come near me. I don't want to get it broke, and
[Part First] [2065] have to begin another."
[Part First] [2069] "It's an old custom. I suppose it is natural for a woman to want to
[Part First] [2077] presented her cheek to him gingerly.
[Part First] [2090] now I can do it without damage to property; and I'll go!"
[Part First] [2096] time what had become of her, till a laugh revealed her to have rushed
[Part First] [2114] "I am going away," he said to her. "I think I ought to go. I think
[Part First] [2116] never begun! I was much to blame, I know. But it is never too late
[Part First] [2117] to mend."
[Part First] [2119] Arabella began to cry. "How do you know it is not too late?" she
[Part First] [2120] said. "That's all very well to say! I haven't told you yet!" and
[Part First] [2132] "I have next to no wages as yet, you know; or perhaps I should have
[Part First] [2137] for that, and leave me to face it alone!"
[Part First] [2150] unfortunately had done, he was ready to abide by what he had said,
[Part First] [2157] reading had only come to this, that he would have to sell his books
[Part First] [2158] to buy saucepans. Those who guessed the probable state of affairs,
[Part First] [2162] parson who married them seemed to think it satisfactory too. And so,
[Part First] [2173] living to trouble her, he had gone underground years before with his
[Part First] [2175] them up in white note-paper, and sent them to her companions in the
[Part First] [2180] brilliant even to the most sanguine mind. He, a stone-mason's
[Part First] [2184] for them to live. But the urgent need of adding to income in ever so
[Part First] [2185] little a degree caused him to take a lonely roadside cottage between
[Part First] [2189] and it was a long way to walk to and from Alfredston every day.
[Part First] [2193] begin to get frightened a bit, and stick to his trade, and throw
[Part First] [2196] So to the cottage he took her on the evening of the marriage, giving
[Part First] [2210] to be different. Besides, you've enough of your own, surely?"
[Part First] [2217] "Well, not exactly barmaid--I used to draw the drink at a
[Part First] [2219] people put me up to getting this, and I bought it just for a fancy.
[Part First] [2225] true to some extent, for all that he knew, many unsophisticated girls
[Part First] [2226] would and did go to towns and remain there for years without losing
[Part First] [2230] was no great sin in a woman adding to her hair, and he resolved to
[Part First] [2233] A new-made wife can usually manage to excite interest for a few
[Part First] [2236] her manner to her acquaintance at the sense of it, which carries off
[Part First] [2242] As usual they laughed before talking; the world seemed funny to them
[Part First] [2245] "So it turned out a good plan, you see!" remarked the girl to the
[Part First] [2247] and you ought to be proud of un."
[Part First] [2264] "Don't you be too quick to cry sham! 'Twasn't sham. I didn't know."
[Part First] [2266] "My word--won't he be in a taking! He'll give it to 'ee o' Saturday
[Part First] [2270] "I'll own to the first, but not to the second... Pooh--he won't
[Part First] [2276] the time when in the natural course of things she would have to
[Part First] [2279] chamber in the lonely cottage by the wayside to which Jude walked
[Part First] [2281] hours, and had retired to rest before his wife. When she came into
[Part First] [2285] One action of hers, however, brought him to full cognition. Her face
[Part First] [2288] dimple before alluded to, a curious accomplishment of which she was
[Part First] [2289] mistress, effecting it by a momentary suction. It seemed to him for
[Part First] [2295] it, but--I don't like to see you."
[Part First] [2302] "Nowhere that I know of. They used to stay without any trouble when
[Part First] [2314] "I used to be told so when I was serving in the tap-room."
[Part First] [2321] "You ought to have known better than that, and seen I was a little
[Part First] [2323] There was not much to do at home, and I was eating my head off, so I
[Part First] [2326] "You'll soon have plenty to do now, dear, won't you?"
[Part First] [2330] "Why, of course--little things to make."
[Part First] [2341] "There's nothing to tell. I made a mistake."
[Part First] [2353] affair, and brought you to a half-furnished hut before I was ready,
[Part First] [2355] to save you, ready or no... Good God!"
[Part First] [2359] "I have no more to say!"
[Part First] [2364] When Jude awoke the next morning he seemed to see the world with a
[Part First] [2365] different eye. As to the point in question he was compelled to
[Part First] [2367] otherwise while ordinary notions prevailed. But how came they to
[Part First] [2370] There seemed to him, vaguely and dimly, something wrong in a social
[Part First] [2373] opportunity of showing himself superior to the lower animals, and of
[Part First] [2374] contributing his units of work to the general progress of his
[Part First] [2377] only at the most called weakness. He was inclined to inquire what he
[Part First] [2378] had done, or she lost, for that matter, that he deserved to be caught
[Part First] [2381] immediate reason of his marriage had proved to be non-existent. But
[Part First] [2391] was timed to take place as soon as it was light in the morning, so
[Part First] [2392] that Jude might get to Alfredston without losing more than a quarter
[Part First] [2400] "I'm afraid the pig-killer won't be able to come," he said to
[Part First] [2404] Challow to scald him. Though I like singeing best."
[Part First] [2411] cheerfulness was lessened by thoughts on the reason of that blaze--to
[Part First] [2412] heat water to scald the bristles from the body of an animal that as
[Part First] [2423] not coming. Drunk last night, I expect. The snow is not enough to
[Part First] [2438] "Yes. We always do it the last day or two, to save bother with the
[Part First] [2439] innerds. What ignorance, not to know that!"
[Part First] [2452] He went out to the sty, shovelled away the snow for the space of a
[Part First] [2458] affrighted animal, who, beginning with a squeak of surprise, rose to
[Part First] [2460] they hoisted the victim on to the stool, legs upward, and while Jude
[Part First] [2461] held him Arabella bound him down, looping the cord over his legs to
[Part First] [2468] this to do!" said Jude. "A creature I have fed with my own hands."
[Part First] [2474] "I'll stick him effectually, so as to make short work of it. That's
[Part First] [2477] "You must not!" she cried. "The meat must be well bled, and to do
[Part First] [2480] up to it, and I know. Every good butcher keeps un bleeding long.
[Part First] [2481] He ought to be eight or ten minutes dying, at least."
[Part First] [2493] "Hold up the pail to catch the blood, and don't talk!"
[Part First] [2503] somebody or other up here, and I don't want people to know we are
[Part First] [2523] The last plunge had come so unexpectedly as to make Jude stagger, and
[Part First] [2532] the snow, and forming a dismal, sordid, ugly spectacle--to those who
[Part First] [2539] "What's God got to do with such a messy job as a pig-killing, I
[Part First] [2540] should like to know!" she said scornfully. "Poor folks must live."
[Part First] [2552] "'Tis well for 'ee to stand there and glane!" said Arabella. "Owing
[Part First] [2553] to your being late the meat is blooded and half spoiled! 'Twon't
[Part First] [2568] that the deed would have amounted to the same thing if carried out by
[Part First] [2570] wore an illogical look to him as a lover of justice, not to say a
[Part First] [2571] Christian; but he could not see how the matter was to be mended. No
[Part First] [2574] He did not like the road to Alfredston now. It stared him cynically
[Part First] [2576] courtship of his wife that, to keep them out of his eyes, he
[Part First] [2577] read whenever he could as he walked to and from his work. Yet
[Part First] [2583] companions was talking to a friend in a shed, himself being the
[Part First] [2588] "Howsomever, 'twas I put her up to it! 'Nothing venture nothing
[Part First] [2595] What had Arabella been put up to by this woman, so that he should
[Part First] [2599] inside the garden-gate and passed on, determined to go and see his
[Part First] [2605] had heard should lead him to say something regrettable to her he
[Part First] [2608] his pocket she added that he ought to earn more.
[Part First] [2610] "An apprentice's wages are not meant to be enough to keep a wife on,
[Part First] [2624] this moment have been free from a bond which, not to mince matters,
[Part First] [2632] "But you shall--you ought to. It is mean of 'ee not to!"
[Part First] [2634] "Very well." And he hinted gently what had been revealed to him.
[Part First] [2635] "But I don't wish to dwell upon it. Let us say no more about it."
[Part First] [2638] laughing coldly. "Every woman has a right to do such as that. The
[Part First] [2642] to it for the man, or, in his default, for herself; if the weakness
[Part First] [2647] "What ought I to have done?"
[Part First] [2650] pig's fat to-night? Please put it away!"
[Part First] [2652] "Then I must do it to-morrow morning. It won't keep."
[Part First] [2668] Jude's dear ancient classics on a table where they ought not to have
[Part First] [2674] aside if you had liked, but as to soiling them like that, it is
[Part First] [2678] deliberately to toss the books severally upon the floor, till Jude,
[Part First] [2679] incensed beyond bearing, caught her by the arms to make her leave
[Part First] [2685] "Promise to leave the books alone."
[Part First] [2693] Jude relinquished his hold, and she crossed the room to the door,
[Part First] [2695] she began to saunter up and down, perversely pulling her hair into a
[Part First] [2702] These pedestrians turned to stare at the extraordinary spectacle she
[Part First] [2709] when I ought to be going to my church, and tearing my hair off my
[Part First] [2712] Jude was exasperated, and went out to drag her in by main force.
[Part First] [2721] "Going to ill-use me on principle, as your father ill-used your
[Part First] [2737] "I have heard it spoken of, and want to know all."
[Part First] [2740] she--must have been a fool to open up that! There isn't much to know
[Part First] [2746] father went away with you to South Wessex, and never came here any
[Part First] [2754] away to London with her little maid. The Fawleys were not made for
[Part First] [2755] wedlock: it never seemed to sit well upon us. There's sommat in our
[Part First] [2756] blood that won't take kindly to the notion of being bound to do what
[Part First] [2757] we do readily enough if not bound. That's why you ought to have
[Part First] [2758] hearkened to me, and not ha' married."
[Part First] [2762] "A little further on--where the road to Fenworth branches off, and
[Part First] [2767] if to go home. But as soon as he reached the open down he struck out
[Part First] [2768] upon it till he came to a large round pond. The frost continued,
[Part First] [2772] not deter him. He ploughed his way inward to the centre, the ice
[Part First] [2776] went back to the edge, and stepped upon the ground.
[Part First] [2786] worthless. He began to see now why some men boozed at inns. He
[Part First] [2787] struck down the hill northwards and came to an obscure public-house.
[Part First] [2789] Delilah on the wall caused him to recognize the place as that he
[Part First] [2795] depression gone, and his head fairly clear still, he began to laugh
[Part First] [2796] boisterously, and to wonder how Arabella would receive him in his
[Part First] [2802] pinned to the cotton blower of the fireplace:
[Part First] [2804] "_Have gone to my friends. Shall not return._"
[Part First] [2807] pig to Alfredston. He then cleaned up the premises, locked the door,
[Part First] [2809] to his masonry at Alfredston.
[Part First] [2818] She further went on to say that her parents had, as he knew, for
[Part First] [2819] some time considered the question of emigrating to Australia, the
[Part First] [2821] decided to go, and she proposed to go with them, if he had no
[Part First] [2825] Jude replied that he had not the least objection to her going. He
[Part First] [2826] thought it a wise course, since she wished to go, and one that might
[Part First] [2827] be to the advantage of both. He enclosed in the packet containing
[Part First] [2834] that there was to be an auction at the house of the Donns he packed
[Part First] [2835] his own household goods into a waggon, and sent them to her at the
[Part First] [2848] from a sale, he perceived a framed photograph, which turned out to be
[Part First] [2853] her on their wedding-day. On the back was still to be read, "_Jude
[Part First] [2854] to Arabella_," with the date. She must have thrown it in with the
[Part First] [2859] "It is a small lot of stuff that was knocked down to me at a cottage
[Part First] [2860] sale out on the road to Marygreen. The frame is a very useful one,
[Part First] [2864] home to him by this mute and undesigned evidence of her sale of
[Part First] [2866] to demolish all sentiment in him. He paid the shilling, took the
[Part First] [2871] departed. He had sent a message offering to see her for a formal
[Part First] [2877] chief emotions of his life. It seemed to be his own again.
[Part First] [2879] He could not realize himself. On the old track he seemed to be a
[Part First] [2888] which the parting between his father and his mother was said to have
[Part First] [2892] had taken for that city, had seemed to be visible. A milestone, now
[Part First] [2894] felt rather than read the mileage to the city. He remembered that
[Part First] [2899] wondered if the inscription were legible still, and going to the back
[Part First] [2912] be to move onward through good and ill--to avoid morbid sorrow
[Part First] [2914] loetari_--to do good cheerfully--which he had heard to be the
[Part First] [2920] By moving to a spot a little way off he uncovered the horizon in a
[Part First] [2923] It was enough for him. He would go to Christminster as soon as the
[Part First] [2926] He returned to his lodgings in a better mood, and said his prayers.
[Part Second] [2953] walking towards Christminster City, at a point a mile or two to the
[Part Second] [2958] to be in the way of making a new start--the start to which, barring
[Part Second] [2967] trouble to him in combing and washing out the stone-dust that settled
[Part Second] [2975] He had that afternoon driven in a cart from Alfredston to the village
[Part Second] [2980] The ultimate impulse to come had had a curious origin--one more
[Part Second] [2981] nearly related to the emotional side of him than to the intellectual,
[Part Second] [2983] Alfredston he had gone to Marygreen to see his old aunt, and had
[Part Second] [3003] to a picture of sober secondary and tertiary hues.
[Part Second] [3014] He was a species of Dick Whittington whose spirit was touched to
[Part Second] [3018] lodging he scrutinized carefully such localities as seemed to offer
[Part Second] [3024] It was a windy, whispering, moonless night. To guide himself he
[Part Second] [3026] fluttered it, but he could see enough to decide on the direction he
[Part Second] [3027] should take to reach the heart of the place.
[Part Second] [3029] After many turnings he came up to the first ancient medival pile
[Part Second] [3031] gateway. He entered it, walked round, and penetrated to dark corners
[Part Second] [3032] which no lamplight reached. Close to this college was another; and
[Part Second] [3033] a little further on another; and then he began to be encircled as it
[Part Second] [3036] his eyes to slip over them as if he did not see them.
[Part Second] [3051] to be forgotten, there would jut into the path porticoes, oriels,
[Part Second] [3057] Knowing not a human being here, Jude began to be impressed with
[Part Second] [3061] almost his own ghost, gave his thoughts to the other ghostly
[Part Second] [3080] from the friend and eulogist of Shakespeare down to him who has
[Part Second] [3085] their surplices, among whom the most real to Jude Fawley were the
[Part Second] [3089] A start of aversion appeared in his fancy to move them at sight of
[Part Second] [3092] so ironically civil to Christianity; with others of the same
[Part Second] [3107] the names. A keener regard attached to the prelates, by reason of
[Part Second] [3121] flesh went, he had the whole aged city to himself with the exception
[Part Second] [3122] of a belated townsman here and there, and that he seemed to be
[Part Second] [3128] What med you be up to?"
[Part Second] [3133] Jude went home and to bed, after reading up a little about these men
[Part Second] [3134] and their several messages to the world from a book or two that he
[Part Second] [3138] some audible, some unintelligible to him. One of the spectres (who
[Part Second] [3144] keeps ever calling us to the true goal of all of us, to the ideal, to
[Part Second] [3153] ordinary remedy under all similar circumstances should be resorted to
[Part Second] [3154] now, namely, that there should be free access to the food of man from
[Part Second] [3155] whatever quarter it may come... Deprive me of office to-morrow, you
[Part Second] [3157] powers committed to me from no corrupt or interested motives, from no
[Part Second] [3158] desire to gratify ambition, for no personal gain."
[Part Second] [3162] world, to those evidences [miracles] which were presented by
[Part Second] [3174] And each of the Many helps to recruit
[Part Second] [3181] "My argument was ... that absolute certitude as to the truths of
[Part Second] [3184] to logical certainty might create a mental certitude."
[Part Second] [3189] Why should we faint, and fear to live alone,
[Part Second] [3204] rhyme, endeared to him from earliest childhood, Jude fell asleep:
[Part Second] [3207] Teach me to live, that I may dread
[Part Second] [3209] Teach me to die ...
[Part Second] [3212] He did not wake till morning. The ghostly past seemed to have gone,
[Part Second] [3213] and everything spoke of to-day. He started up in bed, thinking he
[Part Second] [3228] compelled Jude to smother high thinkings under immediate needs. He
[Part Second] [3229] had to get up, and seek for work, manual work; the only kind deemed
[Part Second] [3230] by many of its professors to be work at all.
[Part Second] [3243] the working, had taken little or much time, were trying to the arm,
[Part Second] [3244] or convenient to the tool.
[Part Second] [3254] not, after all, hastening on to begin the morning practically as he
[Part Second] [3255] had intended. He had come to work, and to live by work, and the
[Part Second] [3256] morning had nearly gone. It was, in one sense, encouraging to think
[Part Second] [3258] his trade to do in the business of renovation. He asked his way to
[Part Second] [3269] How easy to the smallest building; how impossible to most men.
[Part Second] [3273] the bankers half worked, or waiting to be removed. They were marked
[Part Second] [3287] imitating went on here; which he fancied to be owing to some
[Part Second] [3293] reverence was not yet revealed to him.
[Part Second] [3295] Having failed to obtain work here as yet he went away, and thought
[Part Second] [3296] again of his cousin, whose presence somewhere at hand he seemed to
[Part Second] [3298] had that pretty portrait of her! At last he wrote to his aunt to
[Part Second] [3299] send it. She did so, with a request, however, that he was not to
[Part Second] [3300] bring disturbance into the family by going to see the girl or her
[Part Second] [3303] not know why--and felt more at home. She seemed to look down and
[Part Second] [3304] preside over his tea. It was cheering--the one thing uniting him to
[Part Second] [3312] with the active life of the place it was largely non-existent to him.
[Part Second] [3315] corbel-heads--these seemed to breathe his atmosphere. Like all
[Part Second] [3316] newcomers to a spot on which the past is deeply graven he heard that
[Part Second] [3318] and even incredible to, the habitual residents.
[Part Second] [3332] life; men who had nothing to do from morning till night but to read,
[Part Second] [3338] more thoughtful among them seemed oftentimes, owing to his long and
[Part Second] [3339] persistent preparation for this place, to be peculiarly akin to his
[Part Second] [3345] Whatever they were to him, he to them was not on the spot at all; and
[Part Second] [3346] yet he had fancied he would be close to their lives by coming there.
[Part Second] [3349] fortunate as to get into good employment he would put up with the
[Part Second] [3361] zest the undertakings to which he now applied himself, since they
[Part Second] [3365] had been unable to obtain elsewhere. Then, to the consternation of
[Part Second] [3368] middle, to make a double chamber out of one, hung up a thick blind
[Part Second] [3374] he had never been able to save any money since the time of those
[Part Second] [3375] disastrous ventures, and till his wages began to come in he was
[Part Second] [3376] obliged to live in the narrowest way. After buying a book or two
[Part Second] [3384] bridge he could also get a glimpse of by going to the staircase.
[Part Second] [3390] never dwelt upon them. For the present, he said to himself, the one
[Part Second] [3391] thing necessary was to get ready by accumulating money and knowledge,
[Part Second] [3392] and await whatever chances were afforded to such an one of becoming
[Part Second] [3395] to them that have it." His desire absorbed him, and left no part of
[Part Second] [3396] him to weigh its practicability.
[Part Second] [3400] Jude would not be strong-minded enough to keep away from his cousin
[Part Second] [3402] had gone back to London, but the girl remained at Christminster. To
[Part Second] [3405] a perfect seed-bed of idolatry, and she was no doubt abandoned to
[Part Second] [3411] the other, but the clue to her whereabouts was decidedly interesting.
[Part Second] [3413] minutes past the shops answering to his great-aunt's description; and
[Part Second] [3415] suspiciously like the original of the portrait. He ventured to enter
[Part Second] [3417] scene. The shop seemed to be kept entirely by women. It contained
[Part Second] [3423] to him. Then she spoke to one of the two older women behind the
[Part Second] [3426] He stole a glance round. Before her lay a piece of zinc, cut to
[Part Second] [3440] which she was engaged was clearly intended to be fixed up in some
[Part Second] [3441] chancel to assist devotion.
[Part Second] [3443] He came out. It would have been easy to speak to her there and then,
[Part Second] [3444] but it seemed scarcely honourable towards his aunt to disregard her
[Part Second] [3446] brought him up: and the fact of her being powerless to control him
[Part Second] [3447] lent a pathetic force to a wish that would have been inoperative as
[Part Second] [3453] trousers that he felt he was as yet unready to encounter her, as he
[Part Second] [3458] enchained to one of her own sex whom she would certainly not admire.
[Part Second] [3460] Thus he kept watch over her, and liked to feel she was there.
[Part Second] [3463] to weave curious and fantastic day-dreams.
[Part Second] [3468] hoisting it to the parapet which they were repairing. Standing in
[Part Second] [3472] All of a sudden, as he lifted, his cousin stood close to his elbow,
[Part Second] [3475] liquid, untranslatable eyes, that combined, or seemed to him to
[Part Second] [3478] words just spoken to a companion, and being carried on into his face
[Part Second] [3482] His closeness to her was so suggestive that he trembled, and turned
[Part Second] [3483] his face away with a shy instinct to prevent her recognizing him,
[Part Second] [3499] almost accursed stock, have contrived to reach this pitch of
[Part Second] [3504] locality he dwelt in, insensibly began to precipitate itself on this
[Part Second] [3506] wish in a contrary direction, he would soon be unable to resist the
[Part Second] [3507] desire to make himself known to her.
[Part Second] [3509] He affected to think of her quite in a family way, since there were
[Part Second] [3515] to fall in love even when circumstances seemed to favour the passion.
[Part Second] [3519] intensified to a tragic horror.
[Part Second] [3521] Therefore, again, he would have to think of Sue with only a
[Part Second] [3522] relation's mutual interest in one belonging to him; regard her in
[Part Second] [3523] a practical way as some one to be proud of; to talk and nod to;
[Part Second] [3524] later on, to be invited to tea by, the emotion spent on her being
[Part Second] [3525] rigorously that of a kinsman and well-wisher. So would she be to him
[Part Second] [3534] But under the various deterrent influences Jude's instinct was to
[Part Second] [3535] approach her timidly, and the next Sunday he went to the morning
[Part Second] [3536] service in the Cathedral church of Cardinal College to gain a further
[Part Second] [3547] himself. To see her, and to be himself unseen and unknown, was
[Part Second] [3552] still afternoon, when a religion of some sort seems a necessity to
[Part Second] [3559] part, _In quo corriget_, the organ changing to a pathetic Gregorian
[Part Second] [3567] moment. What a wicked worthless fellow he had been to give vent as
[Part Second] [3568] he had done to an animal passion for a woman, and allow it to lead
[Part Second] [3569] to such disastrous consequences; then to think of putting an end to
[Part Second] [3570] himself; then to go recklessly and get drunk. The great waves of
[Part Second] [3577] The girl for whom he was beginning to nourish an extraordinary
[Part Second] [3579] which floated into his ears; and the thought was a delight to him.
[Part Second] [3582] no doubt, much in common with him. To an impressionable and lonely
[Part Second] [3584] his thoughts, which promised to supply both social and spiritual
[Part Second] [3588] Though he was loth to suspect it, some people might have said to him
[Part Second] [3594] Being dressed up in his Sunday suit he was inclined to follow her
[Part Second] [3596] he to do so with the kind of feeling that was awakening in him?
[Part Second] [3598] For though it had seemed to have an ecclesiastical basis during the
[Part Second] [3600] could not altogether be blind to the real nature of the magnetism.
[Part Second] [3620] a mile or two until she came to much higher ground than that of the
[Part Second] [3622] and coming to a stile Sue paused there, to finish the page she was
[Part Second] [3633] girl was accustomed to see portrayed, among them being a Venus of
[Part Second] [3644] and human, and raised it to the top of his head, bringing them on to
[Part Second] [3655] and to her surprise the image-man drew them from their wire stay and
[Part Second] [3658] When they were paid for, and the man had gone, she began to be
[Part Second] [3659] concerned as to what she should do with them. They seemed so very
[Part Second] [3664] to her, and, pulling some huge burdock leaves, parsley, and other
[Part Second] [3666] could in these, so that what she carried appeared to be an enormous
[Part Second] [3670] said. But she was still in a trembling state, and seemed almost to
[Part Second] [3673] Occasionally peeping inside the leaves to see that Venus's arm was
[Part Second] [3675] city in the country by an obscure street running parallel to the main
[Part Second] [3676] one, and round a corner to the side door of the establishment to
[Part Second] [3677] which she was attached. Her purchases were taken straight up to her
[Part Second] [3678] own chamber, and she at once attempted to lock them in a box that was
[Part Second] [3687] had begun to attend. She was the daughter of a clergyman in reduced
[Part Second] [3690] shop of church requisites and developing it to its present creditable
[Part Second] [3694] She now came to call Sue to tea, and, finding that the girl did not
[Part Second] [3701] "Yes--just something to ornament my room," said Sue.
[Part Second] [3706] stale to sell, had been used to furnish this obscure chamber. "What
[Part Second] [3708] in the brown paper, and tried to peep in. "Why, statuary? Two
[Part Second] [3721] "Well--now come down to tea, and go and finish that organ-text, if
[Part Second] [3724] These little obstacles to the indulgence of what had been the merest
[Part Second] [3729] she withdrew to the bed, flung herself down thereon, and began
[Part Second] [3734] there happening to be a Calvary print hanging between them, and,
[Part Second] [3736] withdrew another book from her box--a volume of verse--and turned to
[Part Second] [3744] which she read to the end. Presently she put out the candles,
[Part Second] [3747] She was of an age which usually sleeps soundly, yet to-night she
[Part Second] [3749] diffused light from the street to show her the white plaster figures,
[Part Second] [3750] standing on the chest of drawers in odd contrast to their environment
[Part Second] [3758] night the morrow was one on which Jude had not set his alarm-clock to
[Part Second] [3760] was his custom, two or three hours later than he could afford to do
[Part Second] [3773] to close:--
[Part Second] [3784] country-towns are apt to be. In London the man who carves the boss
[Part Second] [3785] or knob of leafage declines to cut the fragment of moulding which
[Part Second] [3786] merges in that leafage, as if it were a degradation to do the second
[Part Second] [3788] Jude to run, or much window-tracery on the bankers, he would go out
[Part Second] [3803] and thought what a help such an Anglican would have been to him in
[Part Second] [3804] happier circumstances. It was not so much his anxiety to get on with
[Part Second] [3805] his work that made him go up to it immediately the worshipers began
[Part Second] [3806] to take their leave: it was that he dared not, in this holy spot,
[Part Second] [3807] confront the woman who was beginning to influence him in such an
[Part Second] [3810] interest in her had shown itself to be unmistakably of a sexual kind,
[Part Second] [3813] wanted something to love. Some men would have rushed incontinently
[Part Second] [3814] to her, snatched the pleasure of easy friendship which she could
[Part Second] [3815] hardly refuse, and have left the rest to chance. Not so Jude--at
[Part Second] [3819] dragged along, he found himself, to his moral consternation,
[Part Second] [3820] to be thinking more of her instead of thinking less of her, and
[Part Second] [3824] to own to himself that his conscience was likely to be the loser in
[Part Second] [3827] To be sure she was almost an ideality to him still. Perhaps to know
[Part Second] [3828] her would be to cure himself of this unexpected and unauthorized
[Part Second] [3829] passion. A voice whispered that, though he desired to know her, he
[Part Second] [3830] did not desire to be cured.
[Part Second] [3833] view the situation was growing immoral. For Sue to be the loved one
[Part Second] [3834] of a man who was licensed by the laws of his country to love Arabella
[Part Second] [3838] he was at work in a neighbouring village church alone, he felt it to
[Part Second] [3839] be his duty to pray against his weakness. But much as he wished to
[Part Second] [3841] impossible, he found, to ask to be delivered from temptation when
[Part Second] [3842] your heart's desire was to be tempted unto seventy times seven. So
[Part Second] [3847] solitude." Thus he went on adoring her, fearing to realize that
[Part Second] [3853] yard with some hesitation, and, lifting her skirts to avoid draggling
[Part Second] [3862] ironwork at St. Silas' ten years ago, and went away to London
[Part Second] [3875] resolved to call upon her that very evening. And when he reached
[Part Second] [3878] retrospectively to have been pregnant with impassioned consequences.
[Part Second] [3880] innocent first epistles from women to men, or _vice versa_, makes
[Part Second] [3896] to write all the more quickly to her. He would meet her that very
[Part Second] [3901] hurry he should have suggested to her to meet him out of doors, when
[Part Second] [3903] country custom to meet thus, and nothing else had occurred to him.
[Part Second] [3905] not seem respectable to a dear girl like Sue. However, it could not
[Part Second] [3910] not late. He saw a figure on the other side, which turned out to
[Part Second] [3912] moment. Before either had reached it she called out to him:
[Part Second] [3914] "I am not going to meet you just there, for the first time in my
[Part Second] [3923] "I am sorry that I asked you to meet me, and didn't call," began Jude
[Part Second] [3925] if we were going to walk."
[Part Second] [3928] have really no place to ask anybody in to. What I meant was that the
[Part Second] [3929] place you chose was so horrid--I suppose I ought not to say horrid--I
[Part Second] [3931] funny to begin like this, when I don't know you yet?" She looked him
[Part Second] [3934] "You seem to know me more than I know you," she added.
[Part Second] [3942] to call on him just yet. I wonder if you know anything of him--Mr.
[Part Second] [3951] "Yes--it is; I've directed books to him, though I've never seen him."
[Part Second] [3961] "As we are going to take a walk, suppose we go and call upon him?"
[Part Second] [3967] inquired of a person in the street if Mr. Phillotson was likely to
[Part Second] [3969] brought him to the school-house door, with a candle in his hand and a
[Part Second] [3978] Jude told him his name, and said he had come to see him as an old
[Part Second] [3979] friend who had been kind to him in his youthful days.
[Part Second] [3991] "No--that's my cousin... I wrote to you for some grammars, if you
[Part Second] [3996] "It was very kind of you to do it. And it was you who first started
[Part Second] [3999] scheme was to be a university man and enter the Church--that a degree
[Part Second] [4000] was the necessary hall-mark of one who wanted to do anything as a
[Part Second] [4006] "I have never forgotten it. It was that which brought me to this
[Part Second] [4007] part of the country, and out here to see you to-night."
[Part Second] [4017] to be a spare and thoughtful personage of five-and-forty, with a
[Part Second] [4025] could not enter it as he had intended to do in former years he might
[Part Second] [4029] They did not stay to supper, Sue having to be indoors before it grew
[Part Second] [4030] late, and the road was retraced to Christminster. Though they had
[Part Second] [4031] talked of nothing more than general subjects, Jude was surprised to
[Part Second] [4032] find what a revelation of woman his cousin was to him. She was so
[Part Second] [4033] vibrant that everything she did seemed to have its source in feeling.
[Part Second] [4043] you do otherwise than cling to a city in whose history such men as
[Part Second] [4047] world? ... What a funny reason for caring to stay! I should never
[Part Second] [4052] is best to go."
[Part Second] [4062] to her taste, and ground the arms and the head of one of the figures
[Part Second] [4063] all to bits with her heel--a horrid thing!"
[Part Second] [4074] patron-saints. So I was led to retort upon her; and the end of it
[Part Second] [4075] was that I resolved not to stay, but to get into an occupation in
[Part Second] [4083] "DO let me ask Mr. Phillotson to let you try your hand in his
[Part Second] [4084] school? If you like it, and go to a training college, and become a
[Part Second] [4092] Jude did not like to let her see quite how much he agreed with her,
[Part Second] [4093] and went his way to the remote street in which he had his lodging.
[Part Second] [4095] To keep Sue Bridehead near him was now a desire which operated
[Part Second] [4097] for Lumsdon, fearing to trust to the persuasive effects of a note
[Part Second] [4105] Jude said she was disposed to do so, he thought, and his ingenious
[Part Second] [4109] his cousin really meant to follow on in the same course, and regarded
[Part Second] [4116] who took more and more warmly to the idea of tuition; and that
[Part Second] [4117] she had agreed to come. It did not occur for a moment to the
[Part Second] [4127] The schoolmaster sat in his homely dwelling attached to the school,
[Part Second] [4130] been concluded very quickly. A pupil-teacher who was to have been
[Part Second] [4131] transferred to Mr. Phillotson's school had failed him, and Sue had
[Part Second] [4134] approval was necessary to make them permanent. Having taught for
[Part Second] [4138] already wished to do, though she had only been with him three or four
[Part Second] [4140] and what master-tradesman does not wish to keep an apprentice who
[Part Second] [4144] was waiting to see her cross the road to the school, when he would
[Part Second] [4145] follow. At twenty minutes to nine she did cross, a light hat tossed
[Part Second] [4147] which had nothing to do with her skill as a teacher, seemed to
[Part Second] [4148] surround her this morning. He went to the school also, and Sue
[Part Second] [4152] It was part of his duty to give her private lessons in the evening,
[Part Second] [4157] to be the girl's father; but he faithfully acted up to it; and sat
[Part Second] [4160] indeed, not easy to evade, for there was no other sitting-room in the
[Part Second] [4168] way which somehow seemed strange to him as preceptor. Perhaps she
[Part Second] [4172] itself was a delight to him. Then it happened that the children were
[Part Second] [4173] to be taken to Christminster to see an itinerant exhibition, in the
[Part Second] [4174] shape of a model of Jerusalem, to which schools were admitted at
[Part Second] [4185] young people the various quarters and places known to them by name
[Part Second] [4191] "I think," said Sue to the schoolmaster, as she stood with him a
[Part Second] [4197] to the city as it now exists."
[Part Second] [4204] "But my dear girl, consider what it is to us!"
[Part Second] [4227] quite sceptical as to its correctness."
[Part Second] [4229] "No, Mr. Phillotson, I am not--altogether! I hate to be what is
[Part Second] [4239] turned away to Jude, her voice revealing a tremor which she herself
[Part Second] [4240] felt to be absurdly uncalled for by sarcasm so gentle. She had not
[Part Second] [4241] the least conception how the hearts of the twain went out to her at
[Part Second] [4246] to tire of it soon, and a little later in the afternoon they were all
[Part Second] [4247] marched back to Lumsdon, Jude returning to his work. He watched the
[Part Second] [4251] had possession of him. Phillotson had invited him to walk out
[Part Second] [4252] and see them on Friday evening, when there would be no lessons to
[Part Second] [4253] give to Sue, and Jude had eagerly promised to avail himself of the
[Part Second] [4258] surprised to find upon it, skilfully drawn in chalk, a perspective
[Part Second] [4269] "surprise-visits" in this neighbourhood to test the teaching
[Part Second] [4272] the king of terrors--to pupil-teachers.
[Part Second] [4274] To Mr. Phillotson the surprise was not great; like the lady in the
[Part Second] [4275] story he had been played that trick too many times to be unprepared.
[Part Second] [4282] quite beyond his control, was at her side just in time to prevent her
[Part Second] [4286] brandy to bring her round. She found him holding her hand.
[Part Second] [4288] "You ought to have told me," she gasped petulantly, "that one of the
[Part Second] [4301] of his desire to see her that he walked after dark some distance
[Part Second] [4302] along the road in the direction of the village, and, on returning to
[Part Second] [4303] his room to read, found himself quite unable to concentrate his mind
[Part Second] [4305] thought Sue would like to see him, and made a hasty tea, he set
[Part Second] [4309] knew that he loved her he also knew that he could not be more to her
[Part Second] [4314] out of the vicarage gate. He was too far back for them to notice
[Part Second] [4317] been paying a visit to the vicar--probably on some business connected
[Part Second] [4325] Phillotson going on to the school hard by.
[Part Second] [4330] He could not interfere. Was he not Arabella's? He was unable to
[Part Second] [4332] tread of his feet seemed to say to him that he must on no account
[Part Second] [4335] in such conditions of age. The ironical clinch to his sorrow was
[Part Second] [4345] following Sunday he went to see her--a visit which was the result of
[Part Second] [4346] a victorious struggle against his inclination to turn aside to the
[Part Second] [4351] His aunt was now unable to leave her bed, and a great part of Jude's
[Part Second] [4353] little bakery business had been sold to a neighbour, and with the
[Part Second] [4356] ministering to her wants. It was not till the time had nearly come
[Part Second] [4357] for him to leave that he obtained a quiet talk with her, and his
[Part Second] [4365] "Oh--I wanted to know."
[Part Second] [4370] "Well--that I was not to see her."
[Part Second] [4376] "Then don't keep it up. She was brought up by her father to hate her
[Part Second] [4399] could possibly do for himself by trying hard. But she's gone to
[Part Second] [4402] have a fancy for Sue. If your cousin is civil to you, take her
[Part Second] [4404] good wishes it is stark madness for 'ee to give her. If she's
[Part Second] [4405] townish and wanton it med bring 'ee to ruin."
[Part Second] [4409] A relief was afforded to him by the entry of the companion and nurse
[Part Second] [4410] of his aunt, who must have been listening to the conversation, for
[Part Second] [4414] opposite, before her father went to London--how, when the vicar
[Part Second] [4419] little brows and glare round tragically, and say to the empty air, as
[Part Second] [4432] Jude, had the same trick as a child of seeming to see things in the
[Part Second] [4443] saucy, boys,' and suddenly run indoors. They'd try to coax her out
[Part Second] [4447] that he was unable to woo her, and he left the cottage of his aunt
[Part Second] [4449] school to see the room in which Sue's little figure had so glorified
[Part Second] [4460] "Why, to the seat of l'arning--the 'City of Light' you used to talk
[Part Second] [4461] to us about as a little boy! Is it all you expected of it?"
[Part Second] [4473] infinite motion--the sleep of the spinning-top, to borrow the simile
[Part Second] [4479] it was time to come along home. You've j'ined a college by this
[Part Second] [4494] Still, the remark was sufficient to withdraw Jude's attention from
[Part Second] [4498] to a seat in the paradise of the learned. He was set regarding his
[Part Second] [4504] coach--a friend at his elbow to tell him in a moment what sometimes
[Part Second] [4508] It was decidedly necessary to consider facts a little more closely
[Part Second] [4513] "I ought to have thought of this before," he said, as he journeyed
[Part Second] [4514] back. "It would have been better never to have embarked in the
[Part Second] [4515] scheme at all than to do it without seeing clearly where I am going,
[Part Second] [4517] colleges, as if expecting some arm to be stretched out from them to
[Part Second] [4524] Jude chanced to be sitting. The gentleman came nearer, and Jude
[Part Second] [4528] incident to think what a wise thing it would be for him to state his
[Part Second] [4529] difficulties by letter to some of the best and most judicious of
[Part Second] [4536] physiognomies seemed to say to him that they were appreciative and
[Part Second] [4537] far-seeing men. To these five he addressed letters, briefly stating
[Part Second] [4540] When the letters were posted Jude mentally began to criticize
[Part Second] [4545] with a bad character, for all that they know to the contrary...
[Part Second] [4548] Nevertheless, he found himself clinging to the hope of some reply
[Part Second] [4549] as to his one last chance of redemption. He waited day after day,
[Part Second] [4550] saying that it was perfectly absurd to expect, yet expecting.
[Part Second] [4556] provision for two instead of one, he would not allow himself to say.
[Part Second] [4558] whom Jude was passionately enamoured effectually made it repugnant to
[Part Second] [4559] Jude's tastes to apply to Phillotson for advice on his own scheme.
[Part Second] [4561] Meanwhile the academic dignitaries to whom Jude had written
[Part Second] [4565] long uneasily suspected, that to qualify himself for certain open
[Part Second] [4566] scholarships and exhibitions was the only brilliant course. But to
[Part Second] [4568] ability. It was next to impossible that a man reading on his own
[Part Second] [4570] of ten years, should be able to compete with those who had passed
[Part Second] [4571] their lives under trained teachers and had worked to ordained lines.
[Part Second] [4573] The other course, that of buying himself in, so to speak, seemed the
[Part Second] [4574] only one really open to men like him, the difficulty being simply of
[Part Second] [4575] a material kind. With the help of his information he began to reckon
[Part Second] [4576] the extent of this material obstacle, and ascertained, to his dismay,
[Part Second] [4578] able to save money, fifteen years must elapse before he could be in a
[Part Second] [4579] position to forward testimonials to the head of a college and advance
[Part Second] [4580] to a matriculation examination. The undertaking was hopeless.
[Part Second] [4583] place had exercised over him. To get there and live there, to move
[Part Second] [4585] loci_, had seemed to his dreaming youth, as the spot shaped its
[Part Second] [4586] charms to him from its halo on the horizon, the obvious and ideal
[Part Second] [4587] thing to do. "Let me only get there," he had said with the
[Part Second] [4591] precincts, had gone to some busy commercial town with the sole object
[Part Second] [4593] perspective. Well, all that was clear to him amounted to this, that
[Part Second] [4596] vista of his past years, and his thought was akin to Heine's:
[Part Second] [4603] Fortunately he had not been allowed to bring his disappointment into
[Part Second] [4605] painful details of his awakening to a sense of his limitations should
[Part Second] [4611] awoke from his dream. Not quite knowing what to do with himself, he
[Part Second] [4612] went up to an octagonal chamber in the lantern of a singularly built
[Part Second] [4619] to enter, his gaze travelled on to the varied spires, halls, gables,
[Part Second] [4627] He looked over the town into the country beyond, to the trees which
[Part Second] [4632] inevitable that the reaction from the long strain to which he had
[Part Second] [4634] no doubt passed through a similar intellectual disappointment to
[Part Second] [4639] Descending to the streets, he went listlessly along till he arrived
[Part Second] [4642] the flickering lamps he rambled home to supper, and had not long been
[Part Second] [4657] venture to think that you will have a much better chance
[Part Second] [4659] sticking to your trade than by adopting any other course.
[Part Second] [4660] That, therefore, is what I advise you to do. Yours
[Part Second] [4665] To Mr. J. FAWLEY, Stone-mason.
[Part Second] [4670] ten years of labour, and its effect upon him just now was to make him
[Part Second] [4671] rise recklessly from the table, and, instead of reading as usual, to
[Part Second] [4674] came to a spot called The Fourways in the middle of the city, gazing
[Part Second] [4676] coming to himself, he began talking to the policeman fixed there.
[Part Second] [4698] He began to see that the town life was a book of humanity infinitely
[Part Second] [4707] he came to a public hall, where a promenade concert was in progress.
[Part Second] [4715] The spirit of Sue seemed to hover round him and prevent his flirting
[Part Second] [4717] to gain a little joy. At ten o'clock he came away, choosing a
[Part Second] [4718] circuitous route homeward to pass the gates of the college whose head
[Part Second] [4725] "_I have understanding as well as you; I am not inferior to you:
[Part Second] [4740] proceed to his work. Whenever he felt reconciled to his fate as a
[Part Second] [4741] student, there came to disturb his calm his hopeless relations with
[Part Second] [4742] Sue. That the one affined soul he had ever met was lost to him
[Part Second] [4744] unable to bear it longer, he again rushed for distraction to the
[Part Second] [4746] low-ceiled tavern up a court which was well known to certain worthies
[Part Second] [4749] that he was at bottom a vicious character, of whom it was hopeless to
[Part Second] [4757] and made friends with several: to wit, Tinker Taylor, a decayed
[Part Second] [4758] church-ironmonger who appeared to have been of a religious turn in
[Part Second] [4763] of various depths of shade, according to their company, nicknamed
[Part Second] [4766] devil-may-care young men who proved to be gownless undergraduates;
[Part Second] [4767] they had slipped in by stealth to meet a man about bull-pups,
[Part Second] [4768] and stayed to drink and smoke short pipes with the racing gents
[Part Second] [4774] they ought to conduct themselves and their affairs to be properly
[Part Second] [4781] of mechanical craze, to the subject of scholarship and study, the
[Part Second] [4783] would have appeared pitiable to himself in his sane hours.
[Part Second] [4788] chance, and show 'em a few things they are not up to yet!"
[Part Second] [4795] saw there was more to be learnt outside a book than in; and I took my
[Part Second] [4799] a scholar as to pitch yer hopes so high as that, why not give us a
[Part Second] [4801] That was how they once put it to a chap down in my country."
[Part Second] [4810] to rehearse the Articles of his Belief, in the Latin tongue, for the
[Part Second] [4828] compelled to live amongst animals of an inferior species, and the
[Part Second] [4829] glass was handed across to Jude, who, having drunk the contents,
[Part Second] [4840] the landlord was dozing, and bringing him out to see what was going
[Part Second] [4854] But Jude's mind seemed to grow confused soon, and he could not get
[Part Second] [4855] on. He put his hand to his forehead, and his face assumed an
[Part Second] [4877] Then Jude seemed to shake the fumes from his brain, as he stared
[Part Second] [4883] I have brought myself to--the crew I have come among!"
[Part Second] [4894] to whom it seemed possible to fly--an unreasoning desire, whose ill
[Part Second] [4895] judgement was not apparent to him now. In the course of an hour,
[Part Second] [4898] a downstairs room, which he assumed, rightly as it happened, to be
[Part Second] [4901] Jude stepped close to the wall, and tapped with his finger on the
[Part Second] [4913] and blaspheming, or next door to it, and saying holy things in
[Part Second] [4915] never to be uttered but reverently! Oh, do anything with me,
[Part Second] [4928] She asked him if he wanted anything to eat, but he shook his head.
[Part Second] [4929] Then telling him to go to sleep, and that she would come down early
[Part Second] [4935] situation cleared to him, and he beheld it in all the ghastliness
[Part Second] [4937] could he face her now? She would soon be coming down to see about
[Part Second] [4943] His fixed idea was to get away to some obscure spot and hide, and
[Part Second] [4944] perhaps pray; and the only spot which occurred to him was Marygreen.
[Part Second] [4950] Christminster, having fortunately been left untouched. To get to
[Part Second] [4952] being nearly twenty miles, he had ample time to complete on the way
[Part Second] [4959] road up the hill to the downs, which had been visible to him a long
[Part Second] [4967] his face, and went on to the cottage of his great-aunt, whom he found
[Part Second] [4972] tumbled appearance suggesting itself to one whose whole life had been
[Part Second] [4977] Refreshed by some breakfast, he went up to his old room and lay down
[Part Second] [4988] tension which he was now undergoing. But that relief being denied to
[Part Second] [4997] the new spot had already begun to creak. Yet apparently it was not
[Part Second] [5001] Presently the sounds ceased, and a step seemed to cross the landing.
[Part Second] [5009] to the bad; though I had the best intentions in the world at one
[Part Second] [5013] Slowly Jude unfolded to the curate his late plans and movements, by
[Part Second] [5020] university hopes one jot. I wouldn't begin again if I were sure to
[Part Second] [5022] feel I should like to do some good thing; and I bitterly regret the
[Part Second] [5025] The curate, who was a new man to this neighbourhood, had grown deeply
[Part Second] [5026] interested, and at last he said: "If you feel a real call to the
[Part Second] [5029] Church as a licentiate. Only you must make up your mind to avoid
[Part Second] [5032] "I could avoid that easily enough, if I had any kind of hope to
[Part Third] [5055] do good to his fellow-creatures without taking double-firsts in the
[Part Third] [5057] The old fancy which had led on to the culminating vision of the
[Part Third] [5060] his whole scheme had degenerated to, even though it might not have
[Part Third] [5068] But to enter the Church in such an unscholarly way that he could not
[Part Third] [5069] in any probability rise to a higher grade through all his career than
[Part Third] [5077] shabby and lonely; and it may be said to have given, during the next
[Part Third] [5078] few days, the _coup de grce_ to his intellectual career--a career
[Part Third] [5080] nothing, however, for some long stagnant time to advance his new
[Part Third] [5083] to be regarded as a social failure, a returned purchase, by the
[Part Third] [5085] to nod to him.
[Part Third] [5088] indispensable to the most spiritual and self-sacrificing--was created
[Part Third] [5092] Scholarship, and was going to enter a training college at Melchester
[Part Third] [5093] to complete herself for the vocation she had chosen, partly by his
[Part Third] [5100] As it would be necessary that he should continue for a time to work
[Part Third] [5103] for him than to get employment at the further city, and pursue this
[Part Third] [5105] was entirely of Sue's making, while at the same time Sue was to be
[Part Third] [5106] regarded even less than formerly as proper to create it, had an
[Part Third] [5107] ethical contradictoriness to which he was not blind. But that much
[Part Third] [5108] he conceded to human frailty, and hoped to learn to love her only as
[Part Third] [5111] He considered that he might so mark out his coming years as to begin
[Part Third] [5113] being that of his exemplar when he first began to teach in Galilee.
[Part Third] [5115] acquiring capital by his trade to help his aftercourse of keeping the
[Part Third] [5120] Christmas had come and passed, and Sue had gone to the Melchester
[Part Third] [5121] Normal School. The time was just the worst in the year for Jude to
[Part Third] [5122] get into new employment, and he had written suggesting to her that
[Part Third] [5126] had never once reproached him for his strange conduct in coming to
[Part Third] [5134] immediately?--though when he did come she would only be able to
[Part Third] [5136] herself in being strict to a degree. It was Mr. Phillotson who had
[Part Third] [5137] advised her to come there, and she wished she had never listened to
[Part Third] [5141] felt unreasonably glad. He packed up his things and went to
[Part Third] [5147] had something to eat he walked out into the dull winter light over
[Part Third] [5155] The lamps now began to be lighted, and turning to the west front
[Part Third] [5158] undergoing restoration or repair to a considerable extent. It seemed
[Part Third] [5159] to him, full of the superstitions of his beliefs, that this was an
[Part Third] [5161] find plenty to do in the art he practised while waiting for a call to
[Part Third] [5165] stood to the bright-eyed vivacious girl with the broad forehead
[Part Third] [5176] gate and went up to the door through which, on inquiring for his
[Part Third] [5177] cousin, he was gingerly admitted to a waiting-room, and in a few
[Part Third] [5189] "You don't--think me a demoralized wretch--for coming to you as I
[Part Third] [5192] "Oh, I have tried not to! You said enough to let me know what had
[Part Third] [5198] gracefulness. Her hair, which formerly she had worn according to the
[Part Third] [5202] discipline had not yet been able to reach.
[Part Third] [5205] expected him to kiss her, as he was burning to do, under other
[Part Third] [5208] she knew the worst of him, even if he had the right to behave as one;
[Part Third] [5209] and this helped on his growing resolve to tell her of his matrimonial
[Part Third] [5210] entanglement, which he had put off doing from time to time in sheer
[Part Third] [5215] to buy her a little present of some sort, and then she confessed,
[Part Third] [5219] Jude thereupon took her to an inn and ordered whatever the house
[Part Third] [5226] together from all parts of the diocese, and how she had to get up and
[Part Third] [5228] a young person to whom restraint was new. To all this he listened;
[Part Third] [5229] but it was not what he wanted especially to know--her relations with
[Part Third] [5240] "I don't dislike it, you know. I think it is noble to see a man's
[Part Third] [5241] hands subdued to what he works in... Well, I'm rather glad I came
[Part Third] [5242] to this training-school, after all. See how independent I shall be
[Part Third] [5244] and Mr. Phillotson will use his influence to get me a big school."
[Part Third] [5248] wanted to marry you."
[Part Third] [5263] "Ah--I remember. But I didn't know he was going to."
[Part Third] [5267] Her ever-sensitive lip began to quiver, and her eye to blink, at
[Part Third] [5268] something this reproof was deciding her to say.
[Part Third] [5271] don't want to!"
[Part Third] [5274] to ask you, and I don't wish to know."
[Part Third] [5289] his face in estrangement from her to the window. Sue regarded him
[Part Third] [5293] whatever. "Very well--I am wrong, I suppose! I ought not to have
[Part Third] [5294] let you come to see me! We had better not meet again; and we'll only
[Part Third] [5297] This was just the one thing he would not be able to bear, as she
[Part Third] [5299] he said quickly. "Your being engaged can make no difference to me
[Part Third] [5300] whatever. I have a perfect right to see you when I want to; and I
[Part Third] [5304] evening together. What does it matter about what one is going to do
[Part Third] [5307] She was something of a riddle to him, and he let the subject drift
[Part Third] [5329] time for us to walk round the Close, then I must go in, or I shall be
[Part Third] [5332] He took her to the gate and they parted. Jude had a conviction that
[Part Third] [5333] his unhappy visit to her on that sad night had precipitated this
[Part Third] [5334] marriage engagement, and it did anything but add to his happiness.
[Part Third] [5337] so easy to get as at Christminster, there being, as a rule, less
[Part Third] [5343] overhauled, to be largely replaced by new. It might be a labour of
[Part Third] [5344] years to get it all done, and he had confidence enough in his own
[Part Third] [5345] skill with the mallet and chisel to feel that it would be a matter of
[Part Third] [5350] mechanics of any sort usually care to pay. His combined bed and
[Part Third] [5354] inscribed to the effect that it was presented to the same
[Part Third] [5356] marriage. Jude added to the furniture of his room by unpacking
[Part Third] [5373] "To-morrow is our grand day, you know. Where shall we go?"
[Part Third] [5375] "I have leave from three till nine. Wherever we can get to and come
[Part Third] [5389] morning they prepared to start. Every detail of the outing was
[Part Third] [5390] a facet reflecting a sparkle to Jude, and he did not venture to
[Part Third] [5392] conduct was one lovely conundrum to him; he could say no more.
[Part Third] [5396] than desired; the traipsing along to the station, the porters'
[Part Third] [5423] When they came out a long time still remained to them and Jude
[Part Third] [5424] proposed that as soon as they had had something to eat they should
[Part Third] [5425] walk across the high country to the north of their present position,
[Part Third] [5426] and intercept the train of another railway leading back to
[Part Third] [5436] road running due east and west--the old road from London to Land's
[Part Third] [5439] thoroughfare, while the wind dipped to earth and scooped straws and
[Part Third] [5443] Sue seemed to grow tired, and Jude began to be distressed for her.
[Part Third] [5447] turnip-land; but presently they came to a sheepfold, and next to the
[Part Third] [5449] was his mother's and his, pointing to a little dip ahead from which a
[Part Third] [5450] faint blue smoke arose, and recommended them to go on and rest there.
[Part Third] [5453] without a single tooth, to whom they were as civil as strangers can
[Part Third] [5459] "Oh, I don't know about the niceness. I shall have to thatch it
[Part Third] [5460] soon, and where the thatch is to come from I can't tell, for straw do
[Part Third] [5461] get that dear, that 'twill soon be cheaper to cover your house wi'
[Part Third] [5466] will. But mid you be thinking o' getting back to Melchester to-night
[Part Third] [5474] The place is welcome to ye. 'Tis hard lying, rather, but volk may do
[Part Third] [5475] worse." He turned to Jude and asked privately: "Be you a married
[Part Third] [5482] they've gone through. I can call ye soon enough to catch the first
[Part Third] [5485] On consideration they decided to close with this offer, and drew up
[Part Third] [5497] "Indeed I am not, Jude. I like reading and all that, but I crave to
[Part Third] [5498] get back to the life of my infancy and its freedom."
[Part Third] [5500] "Do you remember it so well? You seem to me to have nothing
[Part Third] [5514] bright and clear, and the four miles to the train were accomplished
[Part Third] [5515] pleasantly. When they had reached Melchester, and walked to the
[Part Third] [5516] Close, and the gables of the old building in which she was again to
[Part Third] [5526] "WOULD I!" He took it gladly, and the porter came. There seemed to
[Part Third] [5535] The seventy young women, of ages varying in the main from nineteen to
[Part Third] [5550] "That excuse has been made a little too often in this school to be
[Part Third] [5556] statement in order to gain meetings with her lover. The affair had
[Part Third] [5563] At a quarter past nine the seventy stood up to sing the "Evening
[Part Third] [5564] Hymn," and then knelt down to prayers. After prayers they went in to
[Part Third] [5572] feminine faces upturned to the flaring gas-jets which at intervals
[Part Third] [5581] bereavement, their minds would revert to this experience as to
[Part Third] [5582] something which had been allowed to slip past them insufficiently
[Part Third] [5585] One of the mistresses came in to turn out the lights, and before
[Part Third] [5620] to find it still without a tenant. After the early lessons by
[Part Third] [5621] gas-light, in half-toilet, and when they had come up to dress for
[Part Third] [5622] breakfast, the bell of the entrance gate was heard to ring loudly.
[Part Third] [5623] The mistress of the dormitory went away, and presently came back to
[Part Third] [5624] say that the principal's orders were that nobody was to speak to
[Part Third] [5627] When, accordingly, Sue came into the dormitory to hastily tidy
[Part Third] [5628] herself, looking flushed and tired, she went to her cubicle in
[Part Third] [5629] silence, none of them coming out to greet her or to make inquiry.
[Part Third] [5631] into the dining-hall to breakfast, and they then learnt that she had
[Part Third] [5632] been severely reprimanded, and ordered to a solitary room for a week,
[Part Third] [5633] there to be confined, and take her meals, and do all her reading.
[Part Third] [5636] severe. A round robin was prepared and sent in to the principal,
[Part Third] [5641] "You mean that you are not going to work?" said the mistress at last.
[Part Third] [5644] good reason that she has no such relative. We have written to
[Part Third] [5645] Christminster to ascertain."
[Part Third] [5647] "We are willing to take her word," said the head girl.
[Part Third] [5650] drunkenness and blasphemy in public-houses, and he has come here to
[Part Third] [5651] live, entirely to be near her."
[Part Third] [5654] the room to inquire from her superiors what was to be done.
[Part Third] [5658] in to say that Sue Bridehead had got out of the back window of the
[Part Third] [5660] lawn, and disappeared. How she had managed to get out of the garden
[Part Third] [5678] all the newspapers, which, added to the scandal of the year before,
[Part Third] [5679] would give the college an unenviable notoriety for many months to
[Part Third] [5683] last, on the opposite shore, which was open to the fields, some
[Part Third] [5686] reaching nearly to her shoulders--for this was the chief river of the
[Part Third] [5689] the matron began to speak superciliously of her, and to express
[Part Third] [5695] the girls' heads passing to and fro upon the blinds, and wish he had
[Part Third] [5696] nothing else to do but to sit reading and learning all day what many
[Part Third] [5697] of the thoughtless inmates despised. But to-night, having finished
[Part Third] [5701] to him to be one of miraculous cheapness for that invaluable work. He
[Part Third] [5719] had fled to him in her trouble as he had fled to her in his. What
[Part Third] [5722] the light of his lamp. He went up to seize her hand, and found she
[Part Third] [5723] was clammy as a marine deity, and that her clothes clung to her like
[Part Third] [5729] She crossed to his little grate and very little fire, but as the
[Part Third] [5753] room for it to be otherwise. He opened a drawer, took out his best
[Part Third] [5777] Jude put on her his great-coat in addition, and then ran out to the
[Part Third] [5786] She then began to relate circumstantially her experiences since
[Part Third] [5790] permanently injure her, was glad to hear the regular breathing. He
[Part Third] [5791] softly went nearer to her, and observed that a warm flush now rosed
[Part Third] [5793] longer cold. Then he stood with his back to the fire regarding her,
[Part Third] [5805] it under the bed, and sat down to his book. Somebody knocked and
[Part Third] [5809] wanted to know if you would require supper. I see you've a young
[Part Third] [5812] "Yes, ma'am. But I think I won't come down to-night. Will you bring
[Part Third] [5815] It was Jude's custom to go downstairs to the kitchen, and eat his
[Part Third] [5816] meals with the family, to save trouble. His landlady brought up the
[Part Third] [5839] "Yes; that's what I want to do. But I don't know what they would
[Part Third] [5842] "I am going to sit here by the fire all night, and read. To-morrow
[Part Third] [5843] is Sunday, and I haven't to go out anywhere. Perhaps you will be
[Part Third] [5848] feel rather weak still. I thought I was well; and I ought not to be
[Part Third] [5854] any, began to feel heavy; till her conversation fixed his attention.
[Part Third] [5881] "You have read more than I," he said with a sigh. "How came you to
[Part Third] [5888] I have not felt about them as most women are taught to feel--to be on
[Part Third] [5892] 'Come on' he is always afraid to, and if you never say it, or look
[Part Third] [5893] it, he never comes. However, what I was going to say is that when I
[Part Third] [5905] "Yes. We used to go about together--on walking tours, reading tours,
[Part Third] [5906] and things of that sort--like two men almost. He asked me to live
[Part Third] [5907] with him, and I agreed to by letter. But when I joined him in London
[Part Third] [5909] to be his mistress, in fact, but I wasn't in love with him--and on
[Part Third] [5910] my saying I should go away if he didn't agree to MY plan, he did
[Part Third] [5913] ill, and had to go abroad. He said I was breaking his heart by
[Part Third] [5916] often, he said. He came home merely to die. His death caused a
[Part Third] [5918] consumption and not of me entirely. I went down to Sandbourne
[Part Third] [5919] to his funeral, and was his only mourner. He left me a little
[Part Third] [5933] returned to Christminster, as my father-- who was also in London, and
[Part Third] [5938] Jude looked round upon the arm-chair and its occupant, as if to read
[Part Third] [5939] more carefully the creature he had given shelter to. His voice
[Part Third] [5951] brimming with tears. "But I have never yielded myself to any lover,
[Part Third] [5964] "Yes--long ago. I have never made any secret of it to anybody."
[Part Third] [5968] "He did not pass any criticism--only said I was everything to him,
[Part Third] [5971] Jude felt much depressed; she seemed to get further and further away
[Part Third] [5975] a voice of such extraordinary tenderness that it hardly seemed to
[Part Third] [5984] "You don't care MORE! There, I ought not to say that. Don't answer
[Part Third] [5989] helplessness seemed to make her so much stronger than he.
[Part Third] [5992] hard," he said, to turn the subject. "I am absorbed in theology, you
[Part Third] [6001] remember that I hope to be a useful minister some day."
[Part Third] [6003] "To be ordained, I think you said?"
[Part Third] [6019] go, be sloughed off, or Christminster itself will have to go. To
[Part Third] [6029] "Sue, you are not a good friend of mine to talk like that!"
[Part Third] [6036] resisted his impulse to pique her on to tears.
[Part Third] [6038] "It is an ignorant place, except as to the townspeople, artizans,
[Part Third] [6059] He noticed that whenever he tried to speak of the schoolmaster she
[Part Third] [6060] turned the conversation to some generalizations about the offending
[Part Third] [6073] putting on flippancy to hide real feeling, a common trick with her.
[Part Third] [6076] "There's a sarcasm in that which is rather unpleasant to me, Sue.
[Part Third] [6077] Now will you do what I want you to? At this time I read a chapter,
[Part Third] [6079] attention on any book of these you like, and sit with your back to
[Part Third] [6080] me, and leave me to my custom? You are sure you won't join me?"
[Part Third] [6087] she replied, in the tone of a child who was going to be good for ever
[Part Third] [6092] "Jude," she said brightly, when he had finished and come back to her;
[Part Third] [6114] the drollest thing to think of the four-and-twenty elders, or
[Part Third] [6121] right to falsify the Bible! I HATE such hum-bug as could attempt to
[Part Third] [6125] moist. "I WISH I had a friend here to support me; but nobody is ever
[Part Third] [6134] in the training-school--at least you seem almost to be! What I
[Part Third] [6135] insist on is, that to explain such verses as this: 'Whither is thy
[Part Third] [6140] everything! I am--only too inclined just now to apply the words
[Part Third] [6141] profanely. You know YOU are fairest among women to me, come to
[Part Third] [6144] "But you are not to say it now!" Sue replied, her voice changing
[Part Third] [6145] to its softest note of severity. Then their eyes met, and they
[Part Third] [6152] want and long to ennoble some man to high aims; and when I saw you,
[Part Third] [6153] and knew you wanted to be my comrade, I--shall I confess it?--thought
[Part Third] [6155] I don't know what to say."
[Part Third] [6158] isn't long enough to work out everything in Euclid problems before
[Part Third] [6165] "I won't ask what, because we are going to be VERY nice with each
[Part Third] [6167] looked up trustfully, and her voice seemed trying to nestle in his
[Part Third] [6172] "And I for you. Because you are single-hearted, and forgiving to
[Part Third] [6177] leader-writer; and was he to be the next one? ... But Sue was so
[Part Third] [6179] seemed to be able to do so easily of his, what a comrade she would
[Part Third] [6182] was nearer to him than any other woman he had ever met, and he could
[Part Third] [6208] "Oh, I don't want any! I fear I ought not to have run away from that
[Part Third] [6215] "I'll go to him and explain--" began Jude.
[Part Third] [6223] what I shall do--go to the sister of one of my fellow-students in the
[Part Third] [6224] training-school, who has asked me to visit her. She has a school
[Part Third] [6226] till this has blown over, and I get back to the training-school
[Part Third] [6229] At the last moment he persuaded her to let him make her a cup of
[Part Third] [6231] to go to his work every day before the household was astir.
[Part Third] [6233] "Now a dew-bit to eat with it," he said; "and off we go. You can
[Part Third] [6236] They went quietly out of the house, Jude accompanying her to the
[Part Third] [6239] seemed sorry for her rashness, and to wish she had not rebelled;
[Part Third] [6241] got re-admitted to the training-school. They stood rather miserably
[Part Third] [6242] together on the platform; and it was apparent that he wanted to say
[Part Third] [6245] "I want to tell you something--two things," he said hurriedly as the
[Part Third] [6252] "You mustn't love me. You are to like me--that's all!"
[Part Third] [6256] window. And then the train moved on, and waving her pretty hand to
[Part Third] [6262] departure, and the Close so hateful that he did not go once to the
[Part Third] [6270] to you at parting. You had been so very good and kind to
[Part Third] [6272] ungrateful woman I was to say it, and it has reproached me
[Part Third] [6273] ever since. IF YOU WANT TO LOVE ME, JUDE, YOU MAY: I don't
[Part Third] [6283] It would be superfluous to say what his answer was; and how he
[Part Third] [6287] it had come to a conflict between Phillotson and himself for the
[Part Third] [6290] Yet Jude was in danger of attaching more meaning to Sue's impulsive
[Part Third] [6291] note than it really was intended to bear.
[Part Third] [6306] immersion; but it soon occurred to him that somebody would have
[Part Third] [6307] written for her in such a case. Conjectures were put an end to by
[Part Third] [6315] said. "And will you please walk up to her?"
[Part Third] [6322] which way to turn--the voice of Sue calling his name. He passed the
[Part Third] [6334] "Yes--that was what I was afraid of! But I had decided not to write
[Part Third] [6335] to you any more. They won't have me back at the school--that's why I
[Part Third] [6355] say you and I ought to marry as soon as possible, for the sake of my
[Part Third] [6360] "I don't think of you like that means! It did just OCCUR to me to
[Part Third] [6361] regard you in the way they think I do, but I hadn't begun to. I HAVE
[Part Third] [6364] if I had reckoned upon marrying you I shouldn't have come to you so
[Part Third] [6366] me till the other evening; when I began to fancy you did love me a
[Part Third] [6367] little. Perhaps I ought not to have been so intimate with you. It
[Part Third] [6374] at all. Oh, you have been unkind to me--you have--to look upon me
[Part Third] [6375] as a sweetheart without saying a word, and leaving me to discover it
[Part Third] [6376] myself! Your attitude to me has become known; and naturally they
[Part Third] [6379] "Yes, Sue," he said simply; "I am to blame--more than you think. I
[Part Third] [6383] of subterfuge to avail myself of it. But don't you think I deserve a
[Part Third] [6393] its temperature. Some men would have cast scruples to the winds,
[Part Third] [6397] part to tell his own fatal story. It was upon his lips; yet at the
[Part Third] [6398] hour of this distress he could not disclose it. He preferred to
[Part Third] [6402] he sorrowed. "You ought not, and you are right. You belong to--Mr.
[Part Third] [6403] Phillotson. I suppose he has been to see you?"
[Part Third] [6406] didn't ask him to come. You are glad, of course, that he has been!
[Part Third] [6409] It was very perplexing to her lover that she should be piqued at his
[Part Third] [6411] deprecated by her. He went on to something else.
[Part Third] [6414] authorities are not all the world. You can get to be a student in
[Part Third] [6422] as that would have to content him for the remainder of his life.
[Part Third] [6427] and decided that she was rather unreasonable, not to say capricious.
[Part Third] [6428] Then, in illustration of what he had begun to discern as one of her
[Part Third] [6433] Forgive me for my petulance yesterday! I was horrid to
[Part Third] [6435] horridness. It was so dear of you not to be angry! Jude,
[Part Third] [6437] all my faults. I'll try not to be like it again.
[Part Third] [6439] I am coming to Melchester on Saturday, to get my things
[Part Third] [6446] Jude forgave her straightway, and asked her to call for him at the
[Part Third] [6457] Lumsdon near Christminster, to undertake a large boys' school in his
[Part Third] [6458] native town of Shaston, which stood on a hill sixty miles to the
[Part Third] [6461] A glance at the place and its accessories was almost enough to reveal
[Part Third] [6467] schools adjoining his own; for which purpose he had advised her to go
[Part Third] [6470] About the time that Jude was removing from Marygreen to Melchester,
[Part Third] [6474] driven, he had begun to sit in his parlour during the dark winter
[Part Third] [6479] comparatively unworked mine; practicable to those who, like himself,
[Part Third] [6481] seen to compel inferences in startling contrast to accepted views on
[Part Third] [6489] their part had showed themselves willing enough to be friendly with
[Part Third] [6492] late--to near midnight, indeed--and the light of his lamp, shining
[Part Third] [6495] given over to study, he was not exactly studying.
[Part Third] [6500] undistracted research--more than creditable to a man who had had no
[Part Third] [6512] small documents to be absolutely nothing to muse over. They were
[Part Third] [6520] him to say he would not come to see her oftener than she desired (the
[Part Third] [6522] strong wish that her engagement to him should not be known, which it
[Part Third] [6524] school-master pored. What precise shade of satisfaction was to be
[Part Third] [6526] been often to see her? The problem occupied him, distracted him.
[Part Third] [6534] a duplicate of the one she had given Jude, and would have given to
[Part Third] [6535] any man. Phillotson brought it half-way to his lips, but withdrew
[Part Third] [6542] gentlemanliness had been imparted to it by nature, suggesting an
[Part Third] [6543] inherent wish to do rightly by all. His speech was a little slow,
[Part Third] [6544] but his tones were sincere enough to make his hesitation no defect.
[Part Third] [6554] and penetrating regard would frequently become almost intolerable to
[Part Third] [6556] him, in the grey hours of morning, dread to meet anew the gimlet
[Part Third] [6560] not often to visit her at the training school; but at length, his
[Part Third] [6561] patience being sorely tried, he set out one Saturday afternoon to pay
[Part Third] [6565] minutes to behold her face; and when he turned away he could hardly
[Part Third] [6568] Sue had, in fact, never written a line to her suitor on the subject,
[Part Third] [6583] Jude had never spoken to his former hero since the meeting by the
[Part Third] [6586] younger man's mind a curious dislike to think of the elder, to meet
[Part Third] [6587] him, to communicate in any way with him; and since Phillotson's
[Part Third] [6588] success in obtaining at least her promise had become known to Jude,
[Part Third] [6589] he had frankly recognized that he did not wish to see or hear of his
[Part Third] [6591] again what excellencies might appertain to his character. On this
[Part Third] [6594] of the building, saw, moreover, that he was coming to speak to him,
[Part Third] [6598] Jude joined him, and they both withdrew from the other workmen to the
[Part Third] [6600] sackcloth for a cushion, and told him it was dangerous to sit on the
[Part Third] [6604] eyes resting on the ground as if he were trying to remember where he
[Part Third] [6606] you have seen my little friend Sue recently. It occurred to me to
[Part Third] [6607] speak to you on that account. I merely want to ask--about her."
[Part Third] [6610] from the training school, and her coming to me?"
[Part Third] [6614] "Well"--Jude for a moment felt an unprincipled and fiendish wish to
[Part Third] [6616] which love for the same woman renders possible to men the most
[Part Third] [6620] action did not respond for a moment to his animal instinct; and what
[Part Third] [6621] he said was, "I am glad of your kindness in coming to talk plainly to
[Part Third] [6622] me about it. You know what they say?--that I ought to marry her."
[Part Third] [6633] were I in a position to marry her, or someone, and settle down,
[Part Third] [6642] put to make false assumptions impossible, and to kill scandal."
[Part Third] [6651] led to her rustication is an absolutely baseless one?"
[Part Third] [6663] appeared. When Jude went to his dinner at one he saw his beloved
[Part Third] [6666] that he had asked her to come to him at the cathedral, and she had
[Part Third] [6669] "I have been to get my things from the college," she said--an
[Part Third] [6670] observation which he was expected to take as an answer, though it was
[Part Third] [6671] not one. Finding her to be in this evasive mood he felt inclined to
[Part Third] [6674] "You have not seen Mr. Phillotson to-day?" he ventured to inquire.
[Part Third] [6676] "I have not. But I am not going to be cross-examined about him; and
[Part Third] [6686] "Does it really seem so to you?" said she, smiling with quick
[Part Third] [6695] write and say--I didn't mind your loving me--if you wanted to, much!"
[Part Third] [6697] The exultation he might have felt at what that implied, or seemed to
[Part Third] [6708] of his with Arabella; which in a few months had ceased to be a
[Part Third] [6712] tongue. "And you had better not come to my lodgings. Let us go in
[Part Third] [6722] began and finished his brief narrative, which merely led up to the
[Part Third] [6724] his wife was living still. Almost before her countenance had time to
[Part Third] [6729] "I couldn't. It seemed so cruel to tell it."
[Part Third] [6731] "To yourself, Jude. So it was better to be cruel to me!"
[Part Third] [6733] "No, dear darling!" cried Jude passionately. He tried to take her
[Part Third] [6735] suddenly to have ended, and the antagonisms of sex to sex were left
[Part Third] [6754] It was a question which in the circumstances Sue did not choose to
[Part Third] [6765] years... But she's sure to come back--they always do!"
[Part Third] [6767] "How strange of you to stay apart from her like this!" said Sue,
[Part Third] [6775] "Sue, you are terribly cutting when you like to be--a perfect
[Part Third] [6778] When she saw how wretched he was she softened, and trying to blink
[Part Third] [6781] me that idea that you wanted to be allowed to love me! I had no
[Part Third] [6783] once Sue was as miserable as he, in her attempts to keep herself free
[Part Third] [6788] "I am--not crying--because I meant to--love you; but because of your
[Part Third] [6795] hypocrisy to pretend that it would be meant as from my cousin; and it
[Part Third] [6799] was distracting to Jude, and his heart would have ached less had she
[Part Third] [6802] womanly humours on impulse that were necessary to give her sex.
[Part Third] [6807] have had to keep apart, you see, even if this had not been in your
[Part Third] [6812] "You forget that I must have loved you, and wanted to be your
[Part Third] [6815] and it is bad for cousins to marry. And--I am engaged to somebody
[Part Third] [6816] else. As to our going on together as we were going, in a sort of
[Part Third] [6817] friendly way, the people round us would have made it unable to
[Part Third] [6824] Her being able to talk learnedly showed that she was mistress of
[Part Third] [6832] it was always impressed upon me that I ought not to marry--that
[Part Third] [6833] I belonged to an odd and peculiar family--the wrong breed for
[Part Third] [6836] "Ah--who used to say that to you?"
[Part Third] [6840] "That's strange. My father used to say the same to me!"
[Part Third] [6851] And then they pretended to persuade themselves that all that had
[Part Third] [6867] Before reading the letter he was led to suspect that its contents
[Part Third] [6873] MY DEAR JUDE,--I have something to tell you which perhaps
[Part Third] [6874] you will not be surprised to hear, though certainly it may
[Part Third] [6876] say of their trains). Mr. Phillotson and I are to be married
[Part Third] [6878] know, to wait till I had gone through my course of training
[Part Third] [6879] and obtained my certificate, so as to assist him, if
[Part Third] [6886] Wish me joy. Remember I say you are to, and you mustn't
[Part Third] [6894] back to his work and laughed the usual bitter laugh of a man so
[Part Third] [6895] confronted. Everything seemed turning to satire. And yet, what
[Part Third] [6903] pricked her on to this, just as his visit to her when in liquor may
[Part Third] [6904] have pricked her on to her engagement? To be sure, there seemed to
[Part Third] [6907] and he was compelled to think that a pique at having his secret
[Part Third] [6908] sprung upon her had moved her to give way to Phillotson's probable
[Part Third] [6909] representations, that the best course to prove how unfounded were the
[Part Third] [6910] suspicions of the school authorities would be to marry him off-hand,
[Part Third] [6914] He determined to play the Spartan; to make the best of it, and
[Part Third] [6923] enough to be willing, which he isn't. I hope you won't think
[Part Third] [6925] the prayer-book, and it seems to me very humiliating that a
[Part Third] [6926] giver-away should be required at all. According to the
[Part Third] [6929] GIVES me to him, like a she-ass or she-goat, or any other
[Part Third] [6931] churchman! But I forget: I am no longer privileged to tease
[Part Third] [6937] Jude screwed himself up to heroic key; and replied:
[Part Third] [6944] since I am, as you say, the person nearest related to you in
[Part Third] [6960] His offer of his lodging must have commended itself to Phillotson
[Part Third] [6963] moved into more commodious quarters, as much to escape the espionage
[Part Third] [6967] Then Sue wrote to tell him the day fixed for the wedding; and Jude
[Part Third] [6970] prior to the ceremony, sufficiently representing a nominal residence
[Part Third] [6974] going to meet her at the station, by her special request, that he
[Part Third] [6978] he thought, have weighed with her in this. When he came home to
[Part Third] [6996] hands, looking into a futurity which seemed to be sketched out on the
[Part Third] [7004] Jude could have said "Phillotson's age entitles him to be called
[Part Third] [7013] imploring and warning her against it. It was on his tongue to say,
[Part Third] [7022] corner they found themselves close to a grey perpendicular church
[Part Third] [7027] "Where I am going to be married?"
[Part Third] [7031] "Indeed!" she exclaimed with curiosity. "How I should like to go in
[Part Third] [7032] and see what the spot is like where I am so soon to kneel and do it."
[Part Third] [7034] Again he said to himself, "She does not realize what marriage means!"
[Part Third] [7036] He passively acquiesced in her wish to go in, and they entered by
[Part Third] [7039] loved him. Cruelly sweet, indeed, she had been to him that morning;
[Part Third] [7055] "I like to do things like this," she said in the delicate voice of an
[Part Third] [7072] access of eye moisture. "And I promised never to vex you! ... I
[Part Third] [7073] suppose I ought not to have asked you to bring me in here. Oh, I
[Part Third] [7074] oughtn't! I see it now. My curiosity to hunt up a new sensation
[Part Third] [7082] humbly; and they came out of the building, Sue intending to go
[Part Third] [7083] on to the station to meet Phillotson. But the first person they
[Part Third] [7086] really to demur to in her leaning on Jude's arm; but she withdrew her
[Part Third] [7090] "We've been to the church, rehearsing as it were. Haven't we, Jude?"
[Part Third] [7094] Jude inwardly deplored what he thought to be unnecessary frankness;
[Part Third] [7095] but she had gone too far not to explain all, which she accordingly
[Part Third] [7096] did, telling him how they had marched up to the altar.
[Part Third] [7099] could, "I am going to buy her another little present. Will you both
[Part Third] [7100] come to the shop with me?"
[Part Third] [7102] "No," said Sue, "I'll go on to the house with him"; and requesting
[Part Third] [7103] her lover not to be a long time she departed with the schoolmaster.
[Part Third] [7106] for the ceremony. Phillotson's hair was brushed to a painful
[Part Third] [7109] thoughtful, and altogether a man of whom it was not unsafe to predict
[Part Third] [7111] Sue was obvious; and she could almost be seen to feel that she was
[Part Third] [7117] Jude was getting to be recognized as a citizen; and the couple were
[Part Third] [7118] judged to be some relations of his from a distance, nobody supposing
[Part Third] [7119] Sue to have been a recent pupil at the training school.
[Part Third] [7122] wedding-present, which turned out to be two or three yards of white
[Part Third] [7134] business of giving her away. How could Sue have had the temerity to
[Part Third] [7135] ask him to do it--a cruelty possibly to herself as well as to him?
[Part Third] [7143] the trying ordeal of Jude giving her to Phillotson she could hardly
[Part Third] [7150] Phillotson seemed not to notice, to be surrounded by a mist which
[Part Third] [7156] they went off. In crossing the pavement to the fly she looked back;
[Part Third] [7158] had acted with such unusual foolishness as to plunge into she knew
[Part Third] [7165] she had forgotten something. Jude and the landlady offered to get
[Part Third] [7173] lips suddenly parted as if she were going to avow something. But she
[Part Third] [7174] went on; and whatever she had meant to say remained unspoken.
[Part Third] [7182] whether it were that she had miserably wished to tell him of a love
[Part Third] [7183] that at the last moment she could not bring herself to express.
[Part Third] [7186] fearing that he might be tempted to drown his misery in alcohol he
[Part Third] [7188] for his thick, and proceeded to his customary work for the afternoon.
[Part Third] [7190] But in the cathedral he seemed to hear a voice behind him, and