A Portrait of the Artist as a Young Man
by James Joyce
Chapter 1

James Joyce Chapter 1
Chapter 2
Chapter 3
Chapter 4
Chapter 5

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A Portrait of the Artist as a Young Man by James Joyce.
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[1]        
[2]        Chapter 1
[3]        
[4]        
[5]        
[6]        Once upon a time and a very good time it was there was a moocow coming
[7]        down along the road and this moocow that was coming down along the road
[8]        met a nicens little boy named baby tuckoo...
[9]        
[10]       His father told him that story: his father looked at him through a
[11]       glass: he had a hairy face.
[12]       
[13]       He was baby tuckoo. The moocow came down the road where Betty Byrne
[14]       lived: she sold lemon platt.
[15]       
[16]           O, the wild rose blossoms
[17]           On the little green place.
[18]       
[19]       He sang that song. That was his song.
[20]       
[21]           O, the green wothe botheth.
[22]       
[23]       When you wet the bed first it is warm then it gets cold. His mother put
[24]       on the oilsheet. That had the queer smell.
[25]       
[26]       His mother had a nicer smell than his father. She played on the piano
[27]       the sailor's hornpipe for him to dance. He danced:
[28]       
[29]           Tralala lala,
[30]           Tralala tralaladdy,
[31]           Tralala lala,
[32]           Tralala lala.
[33]       
[34]       Uncle Charles and Dante clapped. They were older than his father and
[35]       mother but uncle Charles was older than Dante.
[36]       
[37]       Dante had two brushes in her press. The brush with the maroon velvet
[38]       back was for Michael Davitt and the brush with the green velvet back
[39]       was for Parnell. Dante gave him a cachou every time he brought her a
[40]       piece of tissue paper.
[41]       
[42]       The Vances lived in number seven. They had a different father and
[43]       mother. They were Eileen's father and mother. When they were grown up
[44]       he was going to marry Eileen. He hid under the table. His mother said:
[45]       
[46]       --O, Stephen will apologize.
[47]       
[48]       Dante said:
[49]       
[50]       --O, if not, the eagles will come and pull out his eyes.--
[51]       
[52]       
[53]           Pull out his eyes,
[54]           Apologize,
[55]           Apologize,
[56]           Pull out his eyes.
[57]           Apologize,
[58]           Pull out his eyes,
[59]           Pull out his eyes,
[60]           Apologize.
[61]       
[62]       
[63]       
[64]       The wide playgrounds were swarming with boys. All were shouting and the
[65]       prefects urged them on with strong cries. The evening air was pale and
[66]       chilly and after every charge and thud of the footballers the greasy
[67]       leather orb flew like a heavy bird through the grey light. He kept on
[68]       the fringe of his line, out of sight of his prefect, out of the reach
[69]       of the rude feet, feigning to run now and then. He felt his body small
[70]       and weak amid the throng of the players and his eyes were weak and
[71]       watery. Rody Kickham was not like that: he would be captain of the
[72]       third line all the fellows said.
[73]       
[74]       Rody Kickham was a decent fellow but Nasty Roche was a stink. Rody
[75]       Kickham had greaves in his number and a hamper in the refectory. Nasty
[76]       Roche had big hands. He called the Friday pudding dog-in-the-blanket.
[77]       And one day he had asked:
[78]       
[79]       --What is your name?
[80]       
[81]       Stephen had answered: Stephen Dedalus.
[82]       
[83]       Then Nasty Roche had said:
[84]       
[85]       --What kind of a name is that?
[86]       
[87]       And when Stephen had not been able to answer Nasty Roche had asked:
[88]       
[89]       --What is your father?
[90]       
[91]       Stephen had answered:
[92]       
[93]       --A gentleman.
[94]       
[95]       Then Nasty Roche had asked:
[96]       
[97]       --Is he a magistrate?
[98]       
[99]       He crept about from point to point on the fringe of his line, making
[100]      little runs now and then. But his hands were bluish with cold. He kept
[101]      his hands in the side pockets of his belted grey suit. That was a belt
[102]      round his pocket. And belt was also to give a fellow a belt. One day a
[103]      fellow said to Cantwell:
[104]      
[105]      --I'd give you such a belt in a second.
[106]      
[107]      Cantwell had answered:
[108]      
[109]      --Go and fight your match. Give Cecil Thunder a belt. I'd like to see
[110]      you. He'd give you a toe in the rump for yourself.
[111]      
[112]      That was not a nice expression. His mother had told him not to speak
[113]      with the rough boys in the college. Nice mother! The first day in the
[114]      hall of the castle when she had said goodbye she had put up her veil
[115]      double to her nose to kiss him: and her nose and eyes were red. But he
[116]      had pretended not to see that she was going to cry. She was a nice
[117]      mother but she was not so nice when she cried. And his father had given
[118]      him two five-shilling pieces for pocket money. And his father had told
[119]      him if he wanted anything to write home to him and, whatever he did,
[120]      never to peach on a fellow. Then at the door of the castle the rector
[121]      had shaken hands with his father and mother, his soutane fluttering in
[122]      the breeze, and the car had driven off with his father and mother on
[123]      it. They had cried to him from the car, waving their hands:
[124]      
[125]      --Goodbye, Stephen, goodbye!
[126]      
[127]      --Goodbye, Stephen, goodbye!
[128]      
[129]      He was caught in the whirl of a scrimmage and, fearful of the flashing
[130]      eyes and muddy boots, bent down to look through the legs. The fellows
[131]      were struggling and groaning and their legs were rubbing and kicking
[132]      and stamping. Then Jack Lawton's yellow boots dodged out the ball and
[133]      all the other boots and legs ran after. He ran after them a little way
[134]      and then stopped. It was useless to run on. Soon they would be going
[135]      home for the holidays. After supper in the study hall he would change
[136]      the number pasted up inside his desk from seventy-seven to seventy-six.
[137]      
[138]      It would be better to be in the study hall than out there in the cold.
[139]      The sky was pale and cold but there were lights in the castle. He
[140]      wondered from which window Hamilton Rowan had thrown his hat on the
[141]      ha-ha and had there been flowerbeds at that time under the windows. One
[142]      day when he had been called to the castle the butler had shown him the
[143]      marks of the soldiers' slugs in the wood of the door and had given him
[144]      a piece of shortbread that the community ate. It was nice and warm to
[145]      see the lights in the castle. It was like something in a book. Perhaps
[146]      Leicester Abbey was like that. And there were nice sentences in Doctor
[147]      Cornwell's Spelling Book. They were like poetry but they were only
[148]      sentences to learn the spelling from.
[149]      
[150]      
[151]          Wolsey died in Leicester Abbey
[152]          Where the abbots buried him.
[153]          Canker is a disease of plants,
[154]          Cancer one of animals.
[155]      
[156]      
[157]      It would be nice to lie on the hearthrug before the fire, leaning his
[158]      head upon his hands, and think on those sentences. He shivered as if he
[159]      had cold slimy water next his skin. That was mean of Wells to shoulder
[160]      him into the square ditch because he would not swop his little snuff
[161]      box for Wells's seasoned hacking chestnut, the conqueror of forty. How
[162]      cold and slimy the water had been! A fellow had once seen a big rat
[163]      jump into the scum. Mother was sitting at the fire with Dante waiting
[164]      for Brigid to bring in the tea. She had her feet on the fender and her
[165]      jewelly slippers were so hot and they had such a lovely warm smell!
[166]      Dante knew a lot of things. She had taught him where the Mozambique
[167]      Channel was and what was the longest river in America and what was the
[168]      name of the highest mountain in the moon. Father Arnall knew more than
[169]      Dante because he was a priest but both his father and uncle Charles
[170]      said that Dante was a clever woman and a well-read woman. And when
[171]      Dante made that noise after dinner and then put up her hand to her
[172]      mouth: that was heartburn.
[173]      
[174]      A voice cried far out on the playground:
[175]      
[176]      --All in!
[177]      
[178]      Then other voices cried from the lower and third lines:
[179]      
[180]      --All in! All in!
[181]      
[182]      The players closed around, flushed and muddy, and he went among them,
[183]      glad to go in. Rody Kickham held the ball by its greasy lace. A fellow
[184]      asked him to give it one last: but he walked on without even answering
[185]      the fellow. Simon Moonan told him not to because the prefect was
[186]      looking. The fellow turned to Simon Moonan and said:
[187]      
[188]      --We all know why you speak. You are McGlade's suck.
[189]      
[190]      Suck was a queer word. The fellow called Simon Moonan that name because
[191]      Simon Moonan used to tie the prefect's false sleeves behind his back
[192]      and the prefect used to let on to be angry. But the sound was ugly.
[193]      Once he had washed his hands in the lavatory of the Wicklow Hotel and
[194]      his father pulled the stopper up by the chain after and the dirty water
[195]      went down through the hole in the basin. And when it had all gone down
[196]      slowly the hole in the basin had made a sound like that: suck. Only
[197]      louder.
[198]      
[199]      To remember that and the white look of the lavatory made him feel cold
[200]      and then hot. There were two cocks that you turned and water came out:
[201]      cold and hot. He felt cold and then a little hot: and he could see the
[202]      names printed on the cocks. That was a very queer thing.
[203]      
[204]      And the air in the corridor chilled him too. It was queer and wettish.
[205]      But soon the gas would be lit and in burning it made a light noise like
[206]      a little song. Always the same: and when the fellows stopped talking in
[207]      the playroom you could hear it.
[208]      
[209]      It was the hour for sums. Father Arnall wrote a hard sum on the board
[210]      and then said:
[211]      
[212]      --Now then, who will win? Go ahead, York! Go ahead, Lancaster!
[213]      
[214]      Stephen tried his best, but the sum was too hard and he felt confused.
[215]      The little silk badge with the white rose on it that was pinned on the
[216]      breast of his jacket began to flutter. He was no good at sums, but he
[217]      tried his best so that York might not lose. Father Arnall's face looked
[218]      very black, but he was not in a wax: he was laughing. Then Jack Lawton
[219]      cracked his fingers and Father Arnall looked at his copybook and said:
[220]      
[221]      --Right. Bravo Lancaster! The red rose wins. Come on now, York! Forge
[222]      ahead!
[223]      
[224]      Jack Lawton looked over from his side. The little silk badge with the
[225]      red rose on it looked very rich because he had a blue sailor top on.
[226]      Stephen felt his own face red too, thinking of all the bets about who
[227]      would get first place in elements, Jack Lawton or he. Some weeks Jack
[228]      Lawton got the card for first and some weeks he got the card for first.
[229]      His white silk badge fluttered and fluttered as he worked at the next
[230]      sum and heard Father Arnall's voice. Then all his eagerness passed away
[231]      and he felt his face quite cool. He thought his face must be white
[232]      because it felt so cool. He could not get out the answer for the sum
[233]      but it did not matter. White roses and red roses: those were beautiful
[234]      colours to think of. And the cards for first place and second place and
[235]      third place were beautiful colours too: pink and cream and lavender.
[236]      Lavender and cream and pink roses were beautiful to think of. Perhaps a
[237]      wild rose might be like those colours and he remembered the song about
[238]      the wild rose blossoms on the little green place. But you could not
[239]      have a green rose. But perhaps somewhere in the world you could.
[240]      
[241]      The bell rang and then the classes began to file out of the rooms and
[242]      along the corridors towards the refectory. He sat looking at the two
[243]      prints of butter on his plate but could not eat the damp bread. The
[244]      tablecloth was damp and limp. But he drank off the hot weak tea which
[245]      the clumsy scullion, girt with a white apron, poured into his cup. He
[246]      wondered whether the scullion's apron was damp too or whether all white
[247]      things were cold and damp. Nasty Roche and Saurin drank cocoa that
[248]      their people sent them in tins. They said they could not drink the tea;
[249]      that it was hogwash. Their fathers were magistrates, the fellows said.
[250]      
[251]      All the boys seemed to him very strange. They had all fathers and
[252]      mothers and different clothes and voices. He longed to be at home and
[253]      lay his head on his mother's lap. But he could not: and so he longed
[254]      for the play and study and prayers to be over and to be in bed.
[255]      
[256]      He drank another cup of hot tea and Fleming said:
[257]      
[258]      --What's up? Have you a pain or what's up with you?
[259]      
[260]      --I don't know, Stephen said.
[261]      
[262]      --Sick in your breadbasket, Fleming said, because your face looks
[263]      white. It will go away.
[264]      
[265]      --O yes, Stephen said.
[266]      
[267]      But he was not sick there. He thought that he was sick in his heart if
[268]      you could be sick in that place. Fleming was very decent to ask him. He
[269]      wanted to cry. He leaned his elbows on the table and shut and opened
[270]      the flaps of his ears. Then he heard the noise of the refectory every
[271]      time he opened the flaps of his ears. It made a roar like a train at
[272]      night. And when he closed the flaps the roar was shut off like a train
[273]      going into a tunnel. That night at Dalkey the train had roared like
[274]      that and then, when it went into the tunnel, the roar stopped. He
[275]      closed his eyes and the train went on, roaring and then stopping;
[276]      roaring again, stopping. It was nice to hear it roar and stop and then
[277]      roar out of the tunnel again and then stop.
[278]      
[279]      Then the higher line fellows began to come down along the matting in
[280]      the middle of the refectory, Paddy Rath and Jimmy Magee and the
[281]      Spaniard who was allowed to smoke cigars and the little Portuguese who
[282]      wore the woolly cap. And then the lower line tables and the tables of
[283]      the third line. And every single fellow had a different way of walking.
[284]      
[285]      He sat in a corner of the playroom pretending to watch a game of
[286]      dominoes and once or twice he was able to hear for an instant the
[287]      little song of the gas. The prefect was at the door with some boys and
[288]      Simon Moonan was knotting his false sleeves. He was telling them
[289]      something about Tullabeg.
[290]      
[291]      Then he went away from the door and Wells came over to Stephen and
[292]      said:
[293]      
[294]      --Tell us, Dedalus, do you kiss your mother before you go to bed?
[295]      
[296]      Stephen answered:
[297]      
[298]      --I do.
[299]      
[300]      Wells turned to the other fellows and said:
[301]      
[302]      --O, I say, here's a fellow says he kisses his mother every night
[303]      before he goes to bed.
[304]      
[305]      The other fellows stopped their game and turned round, laughing.
[306]      Stephen blushed under their eyes and said:
[307]      
[308]      --I do not.
[309]      
[310]      Wells said:
[311]      
[312]      --O, I say, here's a fellow says he doesn't kiss his mother before he
[313]      goes to bed.
[314]      
[315]      They all laughed again. Stephen tried to laugh with them. He felt his
[316]      whole body hot and confused in a moment. What was the right answer to
[317]      the question? He had given two and still Wells laughed. But Wells must
[318]      know the right answer for he was in third of grammar. He tried to think
[319]      of Wells's mother but he did not dare to raise his eyes to Wells's
[320]      face. He did not like Wells's face. It was Wells who had shouldered him
[321]      into the square ditch the day before because he would not swop his
[322]      little snuff box for Wells's seasoned hacking chestnut, the conqueror
[323]      of forty. It was a mean thing to do; all the fellows said it was. And
[324]      how cold and slimy the water had been! And a fellow had once seen a big
[325]      rat jump plop into the scum.
[326]      
[327]      The cold slime of the ditch covered his whole body; and, when the bell
[328]      rang for study and the lines filed out of the playrooms, he felt the
[329]      cold air of the corridor and staircase inside his clothes. He still
[330]      tried to think what was the right answer. Was it right to kiss his
[331]      mother or wrong to kiss his mother? What did that mean, to kiss? You
[332]      put your face up like that to say good night and then his mother put
[333]      her face down. That was to kiss. His mother put her lips on his cheek;
[334]      her lips were soft and they wetted his cheek; and they made a tiny
[335]      little noise: kiss. Why did people do that with their two faces?
[336]      
[337]      Sitting in the study hall he opened the lid of his desk and changed the
[338]      number pasted up inside from seventy-seven to seventy-six. But the
[339]      Christmas vacation was very far away: but one time it would come
[340]      because the earth moved round always.
[341]      
[342]      There was a picture of the earth on the first page of his geography: a
[343]      big ball in the middle of clouds. Fleming had a box of crayons and one
[344]      night during free study he had coloured the earth green and the clouds
[345]      maroon. That was like the two brushes in Dante's press, the brush with
[346]      the green velvet back for Parnell and the brush with the maroon velvet
[347]      back for Michael Davitt. But he had not told Fleming to colour them
[348]      those colours. Fleming had done it himself.
[349]      
[350]      He opened the geography to study the lesson; but he could not learn the
[351]      names of places in America. Still they were all different places that
[352]      had different names. They were all in different countries and the
[353]      countries were in continents and the continents were in the world and
[354]      the world was in the universe.
[355]      
[356]      He turned to the flyleaf of the geography and read what he had written
[357]      there: himself, his name and where he was.
[358]      
[359]      
[360]          Stephen Dedalus
[361]          Class of Elements
[362]          Clongowes Wood College
[363]          Sallins
[364]          County Kildare
[365]          Ireland
[366]          Europe
[367]          The World
[368]          The Universe
[369]      
[370]      
[371]      That was in his writing: and Fleming one night for a cod had written on
[372]      the opposite page:
[373]      
[374]      
[375]          Stephen Dedalus is my name,
[376]          Ireland is my nation.
[377]          Clongowes is my dwellingplace
[378]          And heaven my expectation.
[379]      
[380]      
[381]      He read the verses backwards but then they were not poetry. Then he
[382]      read the flyleaf from the bottom to the top till he came to his own
[383]      name. That was he: and he read down the page again. What was after the
[384]      universe?
[385]      
[386]      Nothing. But was there anything round the universe to show where it
[387]      stopped before the nothing place began?
[388]      
[389]      It could not be a wall; but there could be a thin thin line there all
[390]      round everything. It was very big to think about everything and
[391]      everywhere. Only God could do that. He tried to think what a big
[392]      thought that must be; but he could only think of God. God was God's
[393]      name just as his name was Stephen. DIEU was the French for God and that
[394]      was God's name too; and when anyone prayed to God and said DIEU then
[395]      God knew at once that it was a French person that was praying. But,
[396]      though there were different names for God in all the different
[397]      languages in the world and God understood what all the people who
[398]      prayed said in their different languages, still God remained always the
[399]      same God and God's real name was God.
[400]      
[401]      It made him very tired to think that way. It made him feel his head
[402]      very big. He turned over the flyleaf and looked wearily at the green
[403]      round earth in the middle of the maroon clouds. He wondered which was
[404]      right, to be for the green or for the maroon, because Dante had ripped
[405]      the green velvet back off the brush that was for Parnell one day with
[406]      her scissors and had told him that Parnell was a bad man. He wondered
[407]      if they were arguing at home about that. That was called politics.
[408]      There were two sides in it: Dante was on one side and his father and Mr
[409]      Casey were on the other side but his mother and uncle Charles were on
[410]      no side. Every day there was something in the paper about it.
[411]      
[412]      It pained him that he did not know well what politics meant and that he
[413]      did not know where the universe ended. He felt small and weak. When
[414]      would he be like the fellows in poetry and rhetoric? They had big
[415]      voices and big boots and they studied trigonometry. That was very far
[416]      away. First came the vacation and then the next term and then vacation
[417]      again and then again another term and then again the vacation. It was
[418]      like a train going in and out of tunnels and that was like the noise of
[419]      the boys eating in the refectory when you opened and closed the flaps
[420]      of the ears. Term, vacation; tunnel, out; noise, stop. How far away it
[421]      was! It was better to go to bed to sleep. Only prayers in the chapel
[422]      and then bed. He shivered and yawned. It would be lovely in bed after
[423]      the sheets got a bit hot. First they were so cold to get into. He
[424]      shivered to think how cold they were first. But then they got hot and
[425]      then he could sleep. It was lovely to be tired. He yawned again. Night
[426]      prayers and then bed: he shivered and wanted to yawn. It would be
[427]      lovely in a few minutes. He felt a warm glow creeping up from the cold
[428]      shivering sheets, warmer and warmer till he felt warm all over, ever so
[429]      warm and yet he shivered a little and still wanted to yawn.
[430]      
[431]      The bell rang for night prayers and he filed out of the study hall
[432]      after the others and down the staircase and along the corridors to the
[433]      chapel. The corridors were darkly lit and the chapel was darkly lit.
[434]      Soon all would be dark and sleeping. There was cold night air in the
[435]      chapel and the marbles were the colour the sea was at night. The sea
[436]      was cold day and night: but it was colder at night. It was cold and
[437]      dark under the seawall beside his father's house. But the kettle would
[438]      be on the hob to make punch.
[439]      
[440]      The prefect of the chapel prayed above his head and his memory knew the
[441]      responses:
[442]      
[443]      
[444]          O Lord open our lips
[445]          And our mouths shall announce Thy praise.
[446]          Incline unto our aid, O God!
[447]          O Lord make haste to help us!
[448]      
[449]      
[450]      There was a cold night smell in the chapel. But it was a holy smell. It
[451]      was not like the smell of the old peasants who knelt at the back of the
[452]      chapel at Sunday mass. That was a smell of air and rain and turf and
[453]      corduroy. But they were very holy peasants. They breathed behind him on
[454]      his neck and sighed as they prayed. They lived in Clane, a fellow said:
[455]      there were little cottages there and he had seen a
[456]      woman standing at the half-door of a cottage with a child in her arms
[457]      as the cars had come past from Sallins. It would be lovely to sleep for
[458]      one night in that cottage before the fire of smoking turf, in the dark
[459]      lit by the fire, in the warm dark, breathing the smell of the peasants,
[460]      air and rain and turf and corduroy. But O, the road there between the
[461]      trees was dark! You would be lost in the dark. It made him afraid to
[462]      think of how it was.
[463]      
[464]      He heard the voice of the prefect of the chapel saying the last
[465]      prayers. He prayed it too against the dark outside under the trees.
[466]      
[467]      
[468]      VISIT, WE BESEECH THEE, O LORD, THIS HABITATION AND DRIVE
[469]      AWAY FROM IT ALL THE SNARES OF THE ENEMY. MAY THY HOLY
[470]      ANGELS DWELL HEREIN TO PRESERVE US IN PEACE AND MAY THY
[471]      BLESSINGS BE ALWAYS UPON US THROUGH CHRIST OUR LORD.
[472]      AMEN.
[473]      
[474]      
[475]      His fingers trembled as he undressed himself in the dormitory. He told
[476]      his fingers to hurry up. He had to undress and then kneel and say his
[477]      own prayers and be in bed before the gas was lowered so that he might
[478]      not go to hell when he died. He rolled his stockings off and put on his
[479]      nightshirt quickly and knelt trembling at his bedside and repeated his
[480]      prayers quickly, fearing that the gas would go down. He felt his
[481]      shoulders shaking as he murmured:
[482]      
[483]      
[484]          God bless my father and my mother and spare them to me!
[485]          God bless my little brothers and sisters and spare them to me!
[486]          God bless Dante and Uncle Charles and spare them to me!
[487]      
[488]      
[489]      He blessed himself and climbed quickly into bed and, tucking the end of
[490]      the nightshirt under his feet, curled himself together under the cold
[491]      white sheets, shaking and trembling. But he would not go to hell when
[492]      he died; and the shaking would stop. A voice bade the boys in the
[493]      dormitory good night. He peered out for an instant over the coverlet
[494]      and saw the yellow curtains round and before his bed that shut him off
[495]      on all sides. The light was lowered quietly.
[496]      
[497]      The prefect's shoes went away. Where? Down the staircase and along the
[498]      corridors or to his room at the end? He saw the dark. Was it true about
[499]      the black dog that walked there at night with eyes as big as
[500]      carriage-lamps? They said it was the ghost of a murderer. A long shiver
[501]      of fear flowed over his body. He saw the dark entrance hall of the
[502]      castle. Old servants in old dress were in the ironing-room above the
[503]      staircase. It was long ago. The old servants were quiet. There was a
[504]      fire there, but the hall was still dark. A figure came up the staircase
[505]      from the hall. He wore the white cloak of a marshal; his face was pale
[506]      and strange; he held his hand pressed to his side. He looked out of
[507]      strange eyes at the old servants. They looked at him and saw their
[508]      master's face and cloak and knew that he had received his death-wound.
[509]      But only the dark was where they looked: only dark silent air. Their
[510]      master had received his death-wound on the battlefield of Prague far
[511]      away over the sea. He was standing on the field; his hand was pressed
[512]      to his side; his face was pale and strange and he wore the white cloak
[513]      of a marshal.
[514]      
[515]      O how cold and strange it was to think of that! All the dark was cold
[516]      and strange. There were pale strange faces there, great eyes like
[517]      carriage-lamps. They were the ghosts of murderers, the figures of
[518]      marshals who had received their death-wound on battlefields far away
[519]      over the sea. What did they wish to say that their faces were so
[520]      strange?
[521]      
[522]      
[523]      VISIT, WE BESEECH THEE, O LORD, THIS HABITATION AND DRIVE AWAY FROM IT
[524]      ALL...
[525]      
[526]      
[527]      Going home for the holidays! That would be lovely: the fellows had told
[528]      him. Getting up on the cars in the early wintry morning outside the
[529]      door of the castle. The cars were rolling on the gravel. Cheers for the
[530]      rector!
[531]      
[532]      Hurray! Hurray! Hurray!
[533]      
[534]      The cars drove past the chapel and all caps were raised. They drove
[535]      merrily along the country roads. The drivers pointed with their whips
[536]      to Bodenstown. The fellows cheered. They passed the farmhouse
[537]      of the Jolly Farmer. Cheer after cheer after cheer. Through Clane they
[538]      drove, cheering and cheered. The peasant women stood at the half-doors,
[539]      the men stood here and there. The lovely smell there was in the wintry
[540]      air: the smell of Clane: rain and wintry air and turf smouldering and
[541]      corduroy.
[542]      
[543]      The train was full of fellows: a long long chocolate train with cream
[544]      facings. The guards went to and fro opening, closing, locking,
[545]      unlocking the doors. They were men in dark blue and silver; they had
[546]      silvery whistles and their keys made a quick music: click, click:
[547]      click, click.
[548]      
[549]      And the train raced on over the flat lands and past the Hill of Allen.
[550]      The telegraph poles were passing, passing. The train went on and on. It
[551]      knew. There were lanterns in the hall of his father's house and ropes
[552]      of green branches. There were holly and ivy round the pierglass and
[553]      holly and ivy, green and red, twined round the chandeliers. There were
[554]      red holly and green ivy round the old portraits on the walls. Holly and
[555]      ivy for him and for Christmas.
[556]      
[557]      Lovely...
[558]      
[559]      All the people. Welcome home, Stephen! Noises of welcome. His mother
[560]      kissed him. Was that right? His father was a marshal now: higher than a
[561]      magistrate. Welcome home, Stephen!
[562]      
[563]      Noises...
[564]      
[565]      There was a noise of curtain-rings running back along the rods, of
[566]      water being splashed in the basins. There was a noise of rising and
[567]      dressing and washing in the dormitory: a noise of clapping of hands as
[568]      the prefect went up and down telling the fellows to look sharp. A pale
[569]      sunlight showed the yellow curtains drawn back, the tossed beds. His
[570]      bed was very hot and his face and body were very hot.
[571]      
[572]      He got up and sat on the side of his bed. He was weak. He tried to pull
[573]      on his stocking. It had a horrid rough feel. The sunlight was queer and
[574]      cold.
[575]      
[576]      Fleming said:
[577]      
[578]      --Are you not well?
[579]      
[580]      He did not know; and Fleming said:
[581]      
[582]      --Get back into bed. I'll tell McGlade you're not well.
[583]      
[584]      --He's sick.
[585]      
[586]      --Who is?
[587]      
[588]      --Tell McGlade.
[589]      
[590]      --Get back into bed.
[591]      
[592]      --Is he sick?
[593]      
[594]      A fellow held his arms while he loosened the stocking clinging to his
[595]      foot and climbed back into the hot bed.
[596]      
[597]      He crouched down between the sheets, glad of their tepid glow. He heard
[598]      the fellows talk among themselves about him as they dressed for mass.
[599]      It was a mean thing to do, to shoulder him into the square ditch, they
[600]      were saying.
[601]      
[602]      Then their voices ceased; they had gone. A voice at his bed said:
[603]      
[604]      --Dedalus, don't spy on us, sure you won't?
[605]      
[606]      Wells's face was there. He looked at it and saw that Wells was afraid.
[607]      
[608]      --I didn't mean to. Sure you won't?
[609]      
[610]      His father had told him, whatever he did, never to peach on a fellow.
[611]      He shook his head and answered no and felt glad.
[612]      
[613]      Wells said:
[614]      
[615]      --I didn't mean to, honour bright. It was only for cod. I'm sorry.
[616]      
[617]      The face and the voice went away. Sorry because he was afraid. Afraid
[618]      that it was some disease. Canker was a disease of plants and cancer one
[619]      of animals: or another different. That was a long time ago then out on
[620]      the playgrounds in the evening light, creeping from point to point on
[621]      the fringe of his line, a heavy bird flying low through the grey light.
[622]      Leicester Abbey lit up. Wolsey died there. The abbots buried him
[623]      themselves.
[624]      
[625]      It was not Wells's face, it was the prefect's. He was not foxing. No,
[626]      no: he was sick really. He was not foxing. And he felt the prefect's
[627]      hand on his forehead; and he felt his forehead warm and damp against
[628]      the prefect's cold damp hand. That was the way a rat felt, slimy and
[629]      damp and cold. Every rat had two eyes to look out of. Sleek slimy
[630]      coats, little little feet tucked up to jump, black slimy eyes to look
[631]      out of. They could understand how to jump. But the minds of rats could
[632]      not understand trigonometry. When they were dead they lay on their
[633]      sides. Their coats dried then. They were only dead things.
[634]      
[635]      The prefect was there again and it was his voice that was saying that
[636]      he was to get up, that Father Minister had said he was to get up and
[637]      dress and go to the infirmary. And while he was dressing himself as
[638]      quickly as he could the prefect said:
[639]      
[640]      --We must pack off to Brother Michael because we have the
[641]      collywobbles!
[642]      
[643]      He was very decent to say that. That was all to make him laugh. But he
[644]      could not laugh because his cheeks and lips were all shivery: and then
[645]      the prefect had to laugh by himself.
[646]      
[647]      The prefect cried:
[648]      
[649]      --Quick march! Hayfoot! Strawfoot!
[650]      
[651]      They went together down the staircase and along the corridor and past
[652]      the bath. As he passed the door he remembered with a vague fear the
[653]      warm turf-coloured bogwater, the warm moist air, the noise of plunges,
[654]      the smell of the towels, like medicine.
[655]      
[656]      Brother Michael was standing at the door of the infirmary and from the
[657]      door of the dark cabinet on his right came a smell like medicine. That
[658]      came from the bottles on the shelves. The prefect spoke to Brother
[659]      Michael and Brother Michael answered and called the prefect sir. He had
[660]      reddish hair mixed with grey and a queer look. It was queer that he
[661]      would always be a brother. It was queer too that you could not call him
[662]      sir because he was a brother and had a different kind of look. Was he
[663]      not holy enough or why could he not catch up on the others?
[664]      
[665]      There were two beds in the room and in one bed there was a fellow: and
[666]      when they went in he called out:
[667]      
[668]      --Hello! It's young Dedalus! What's up?
[669]      
[670]      --The sky is up, Brother Michael said.
[671]      
[672]      He was a fellow out of the third of grammar and, while Stephen was
[673]      undressing, he asked Brother Michael to bring him a round of buttered
[674]      toast.
[675]      
[676]      --Ah, do! he said.
[677]      
[678]      --Butter you up! said Brother Michael. You'll get your walking papers
[679]      in the morning when the doctor comes.
[680]      
[681]      --Will I? the fellow said. I'm not well yet.
[682]      
[683]      Brother Michael repeated:
[684]      
[685]      --You'll get your walking papers. I tell you.
[686]      
[687]      He bent down to rake the fire. He had a long back like the long back of
[688]      a tramhorse. He shook the poker gravely and nodded his head at the
[689]      fellow out of third of grammar.
[690]      
[691]      Then Brother Michael went away and after a while the fellow out of
[692]      third of grammar turned in towards the wall and fell asleep.
[693]      
[694]      That was the infirmary. He was sick then. Had they written home to tell
[695]      his mother and father? But it would be quicker for one of the priests
[696]      to go himself to tell them. Or he would write a letter for the priest
[697]      to bring.
[698]      
[699]      
[700]          Dear Mother,
[701]      
[702]          I am sick. I want to go home. Please come and take me home.
[703]          I am in the infirmary.
[704]      
[705]          Your fond son,
[706]          Stephen
[707]      
[708]      
[709]      How far away they were! There was cold sunlight outside the window. He
[710]      wondered if he would die. You could die just the same on a sunny day.
[711]      He might die before his mother came. Then he would have a dead mass in
[712]      the chapel like the way the fellows had told him it was when Little had
[713]      died. All the fellows would be at the mass, dressed in black, all with
[714]      sad faces. Wells too would be there but no fellow would look at him.
[715]      The rector would be there in a cope of black and gold and there would
[716]      be tall yellow candles on the altar and round the catafalque. And they
[717]      would carry the coffin out of the chapel slowly and he would be buried
[718]      in the little graveyard of the community off the main avenue of limes.
[719]      And Wells would be sorry then for what he had done. And the bell would
[720]      toll slowly.
[721]      
[722]      He could hear the tolling. He said over to himself the song that Brigid
[723]      had taught him.
[724]      
[725]      
[726]          Dingdong! The castle bell!
[727]          Farewell, my mother!
[728]          Bury me in the old churchyard
[729]          Beside my eldest brother.
[730]          My coffin shall be black,
[731]          Six angels at my back,
[732]          Two to sing and two to pray
[733]          And two to carry my soul away.
[734]      
[735]      
[736]      How beautiful and sad that was! How beautiful the words were where they
[737]      said BURY ME IN THE OLD CHURCHYARD! A tremor passed over his body. How
[738]      sad and how beautiful! He wanted to cry quietly but not for himself:
[739]      for the words, so beautiful and sad, like music. The bell! The bell!
[740]      Farewell! O farewell!
[741]      
[742]      The cold sunlight was weaker and Brother Michael was standing at his
[743]      bedside with a bowl of beef-tea. He was glad for his mouth was hot and
[744]      dry. He could hear them playing in the playgrounds. And the day was
[745]      going on in the college just as if he were there.
[746]      
[747]      Then Brother Michael was going away and the fellow out of the third of
[748]      grammar told him to be sure and come back and tell him all the news in
[749]      the paper. He told Stephen that his name was Athy and that his father
[750]      kept a lot of racehorses that were spiffing jumpers and that his father
[751]      would give a good tip to Brother Michael any time he wanted it because
[752]      Brother Michael was very decent and always told him the news out of the
[753]      paper they got every day up in the castle. There was every kind of news
[754]      in the paper: accidents, shipwrecks, sports, and politics.
[755]      
[756]      --Now it is all about politics in the papers, he said. Do your people
[757]      talk about that too?
[758]      
[759]      --Yes, Stephen said.
[760]      
[761]      --Mine too, he said.
[762]      
[763]      Then he thought for a moment and said:
[764]      
[765]      --You have a queer name, Dedalus, and I have a queer name too, Athy.
[766]      My name is the name of a town. Your name is like Latin.
[767]      
[768]      Then he asked:
[769]      
[770]      --Are you good at riddles?
[771]      
[772]      Stephen answered:
[773]      
[774]      --Not very good.
[775]      
[776]      Then he said:
[777]      
[778]      --Can you answer me this one? Why is the county of Kildare like the
[779]      leg of a fellow's breeches?
[780]      
[781]      Stephen thought what could be the answer and then said:
[782]      
[783]      --I give it up.
[784]      
[785]      --Because there is a thigh in it, he said. Do you see the joke? Athy
[786]      is the town in the county Kildare and a thigh is the other thigh.
[787]      
[788]      --Oh, I see, Stephen said.
[789]      
[790]      --That's an old riddle, he said.
[791]      
[792]      After a moment he said:
[793]      
[794]      --I say!
[795]      
[796]      --What? asked Stephen.
[797]      
[798]      --You know, he said, you can ask that riddle another way.
[799]      
[800]      --Can you? said Stephen.
[801]      
[802]      --The same riddle, he said. Do you know the other way to ask it?
[803]      
[804]      --No, said Stephen.
[805]      
[806]      --Can you not think of the other way? he said.
[807]      
[808]      He looked at Stephen over the bedclothes as he spoke. Then he lay back
[809]      on the pillow and said:
[810]      
[811]      --There is another way but I won't tell you what it is.
[812]      
[813]      Why did he not tell it? His father, who kept the racehorses, must be a
[814]      magistrate too like Saurin's father and Nasty Roche's father. He
[815]      thought of his own father, of how he sang songs while his mother played
[816]      and of how he always gave him a shilling when he asked for sixpence and
[817]      he felt sorry for him that he was not a magistrate like the other boys'
[818]      fathers. Then why was he sent to that place with them? But
[819]      his father had told him that he would be no stranger there because his
[820]      granduncle had presented an address to the liberator there fifty years
[821]      before. You could know the people of that time by their old dress. It
[822]      seemed to him a solemn time: and he wondered if that was the time when
[823]      the fellows in Clongowes wore blue coats with brass buttons and yellow
[824]      waistcoats and caps of rabbitskin and drank beer like grown-up people
[825]      and kept greyhounds of their own to course the hares with.
[826]      
[827]      He looked at the window and saw that the daylight had grown weaker.
[828]      There would be cloudy grey light over the playgrounds. There was no
[829]      noise on the playgrounds. The class must be doing the themes or perhaps
[830]      Father Arnall was reading out of the book.
[831]      
[832]      It was queer that they had not given him any medicine. Perhaps Brother
[833]      Michael would bring it back when he came. They said you got stinking
[834]      stuff to drink when you were in the infirmary. But he felt better now
[835]      than before. It would be nice getting better slowly. You could get a
[836]      book then. There was a book in the library about Holland. There were
[837]      lovely foreign names in it and pictures of strange looking cities and
[838]      ships. It made you feel so happy.
[839]      
[840]      How pale the light was at the window! But that was nice. The fire rose
[841]      and fell on the wall. It was like waves. Someone had put coal on and he
[842]      heard voices. They were talking. It was the noise of the waves. Or the
[843]      waves were talking among themselves as they rose and fell.
[844]      
[845]      He saw the sea of waves, long dark waves rising and falling, dark under
[846]      the moonless night. A tiny light twinkled at the pierhead where the
[847]      ship was entering: and he saw a multitude of people gathered by the
[848]      waters' edge to see the ship that was entering their harbour. A tall
[849]      man stood on the deck, looking out towards the flat dark land: and by
[850]      the light at the pierhead he saw his face, the sorrowful face of
[851]      Brother Michael.
[852]      
[853]      He saw him lift his hand towards the people and heard him say in a loud
[854]      voice of sorrow over the waters:
[855]      
[856]      --He is dead. We saw him lying upon the catafalque. A wail of sorrow
[857]      went up from the people.
[858]      
[859]      --Parnell! Parnell! He is dead!
[860]      
[861]      They fell upon their knees, moaning in sorrow.
[862]      
[863]      And he saw Dante in a maroon velvet dress and with a green velvet
[864]      mantle hanging from her shoulders walking proudly and silently past the
[865]      people who knelt by the water's edge.
[866]      
[867]      
[868]      
[869]      
[870]      
[871]      A great fire, banked high and red, flamed in the grate and under the
[872]      ivy-twined branches of the chandelier the Christmas table was spread.
[873]      They had come home a little late and still dinner was not ready: but it
[874]      would be ready in a jiffy his mother had said. They were waiting for
[875]      the door to open and for the servants to come in, holding the big
[876]      dishes covered with their heavy metal covers.
[877]      
[878]      All were waiting: uncle Charles, who sat far away in the shadow of the
[879]      window, Dante and Mr Casey, who sat in the easy-chairs at either side
[880]      of the hearth, Stephen, seated on a chair between them, his feet
[881]      resting on the toasted boss. Mr Dedalus looked at himself in the
[882]      pierglass above the mantelpiece, waxed out his moustache ends and then,
[883]      parting his coat-tails, stood with his back to the glowing fire: and
[884]      still from time to time he withdrew a hand from his coat-tail to wax
[885]      out one of his moustache ends. Mr Casey leaned his head to one side
[886]      and, smiling, tapped the gland of his neck with his fingers. And
[887]      Stephen smiled too for he knew now that it was not true that Mr Casey
[888]      had a purse of silver in his throat. He smiled to think how the silvery
[889]      noise which Mr Casey used to make had deceived him. And when he had
[890]      tried to open Mr Casey's hand to see if the purse of silver was hidden
[891]      there he had seen that the fingers could not be straightened out: and
[892]      Mr Casey had told him that he had got those three cramped fingers
[893]      making a birthday present for Queen Victoria. Mr Casey tapped the gland
[894]      of his neck and smiled at Stephen with sleepy eyes: and Mr Dedalus said
[895]      to him:
[896]      
[897]      --Yes. Well now, that's all right. O, we had a good walk, hadn't we,
[898]      John? Yes... I wonder if there's any likelihood of dinner this evening.
[899]      Yes... O, well now, we got a good breath of ozone round the Head today. Ay,
[900]      bedad.
[901]      
[902]      He turned to Dante and said:
[903]      
[904]      --You didn't stir out at all, Mrs Riordan?
[905]      
[906]      Dante frowned and said shortly:
[907]      
[908]      --No.
[909]      
[910]      Mr Dedalus dropped his coat-tails and went over to the sideboard. He
[911]      brought forth a great stone jar of whisky from the locker and filled
[912]      the decanter slowly, bending now and then to see how much he had poured
[913]      in. Then replacing the jar in the locker he poured a little of the
[914]      whisky into two glasses, added a little water and came back with them
[915]      to the fireplace.
[916]      
[917]      --A thimbleful, John, he said, just to whet your appetite.
[918]      
[919]      Mr Casey took the glass, drank, and placed it near him on the
[920]      mantelpiece. Then he said:
[921]      
[922]      --Well, I can't help thinking of our friend Christopher manufacturing...
[923]      
[924]      He broke into a fit of laughter and coughing and added:
[925]      
[926]      --...manufacturing that champagne for those fellows.
[927]      
[928]      Mr Dedalus laughed loudly.
[929]      
[930]      --Is it Christy? he said. There's more cunning in one of those warts
[931]      on his bald head than in a pack of jack foxes.
[932]      
[933]      He inclined his head, closed his eyes, and, licking his lips profusely,
[934]      began to speak with the voice of the hotel keeper.
[935]      
[936]      --And he has such a soft mouth when he's speaking to you, don't you
[937]      know. He's very moist and watery about the dewlaps, God bless him.
[938]      
[939]      Mr Casey was still struggling through his fit of coughing and laughter.
[940]      Stephen, seeing and hearing the hotel keeper through his father's face
[941]      and voice, laughed.
[942]      
[943]      Mr Dedalus put up his eyeglass and, staring down at him, said quietly
[944]      and kindly:
[945]      
[946]      --What are you laughing at, you little puppy, you?
[947]      
[948]      The servants entered and placed the dishes on the table. Mrs Dedalus
[949]      followed and the places were arranged.
[950]      
[951]      --Sit over, she said.
[952]      
[953]      Mr Dedalus went to the end of the table and said:
[954]      
[955]      --Now, Mrs Riordan, sit over. John, sit you down, my hearty.
[956]      
[957]      He looked round to where uncle Charles sat and said:
[958]      
[959]      --Now then, sir, there's a bird here waiting for you.
[960]      
[961]      When all had taken their seats he laid his hand on the cover and then
[962]      said quickly, withdrawing it:
[963]      
[964]      --Now, Stephen.
[965]      
[966]      Stephen stood up in his place to say the grace before meals:
[967]      
[968]      
[969]      Bless us, O Lord, and these Thy gifts which through
[970]      Thy bounty we are about to receive through Christ our
[971]      Lord. Amen.
[972]      
[973]      
[974]      All blessed themselves and Mr Dedalus with a sigh of pleasure lifted
[975]      from the dish the heavy cover pearled around the edge with glistening
[976]      drops.
[977]      
[978]      Stephen looked at the plump turkey which had lain, trussed and
[979]      skewered, on the kitchen table. He knew that his father had paid a
[980]      guinea for it in Dunn's of D'Olier Street and that the man had prodded
[981]      it often at the breastbone to show how good it was: and he remembered
[982]      the man's voice when he had said:
[983]      
[984]      --Take that one, sir. That's the real Ally Daly.
[985]      
[986]      Why did Mr Barrett in Clongowes call his pandybat a turkey? But
[987]      Clongowes was far away: and the warm heavy smell of turkey and ham and
[988]      celery rose from the plates and dishes and the great fire was banked
[989]      high and red in the grate and the green ivy and red holly made you feel
[990]      so happy and when dinner was ended the big plum pudding would be
[991]      carried in, studded with peeled almonds and sprigs of holly, with
[992]      bluish fire running around it and a little green flag flying from the
[993]      top.
[994]      
[995]      It was his first Christmas dinner and he thought of his little brothers
[996]      and sisters who were waiting in the nursery, as he had often waited,
[997]      till the pudding came. The deep low collar and the Eton jacket made him
[998]      feel queer and oldish: and that morning when his mother had brought him
[999]      down to the parlour, dressed for mass, his father had cried. That was
[1000]     because he was thinking of his own father. And uncle Charles had said
[1001]     so too.
[1002]     
[1003]     Mr Dedalus covered the dish and began to eat hungrily. Then he said:
[1004]     
[1005]     --Poor old Christy, he's nearly lopsided now with roguery.
[1006]     
[1007]     --Simon, said Mrs Dedalus, you haven't given Mrs Riordan any sauce.
[1008]     
[1009]     Mr Dedalus seized the sauceboat.
[1010]     
[1011]     --Haven't I? he cried. Mrs Riordan, pity the poor blind. Dante covered
[1012]     her plate with her hands and said:
[1013]     
[1014]     --No, thanks.
[1015]     
[1016]     Mr Dedalus turned to uncle Charles.
[1017]     
[1018]     --How are you off, sir?
[1019]     
[1020]     --Right as the mail, Simon.
[1021]     
[1022]     --You, John?
[1023]     
[1024]     --I'm all right. Go on yourself.
[1025]     
[1026]     --Mary? Here, Stephen, here's something to make your hair curl.
[1027]     
[1028]     He poured sauce freely over Stephen's plate and set the boat again on
[1029]     the table. Then he asked uncle Charles was it tender. Uncle Charles
[1030]     could not speak because his mouth was full; but he nodded that it was.
[1031]     
[1032]     --That was a good answer our friend made to the canon. What? said Mr
[1033]     Dedalus.
[1034]     
[1035]     --I didn't think he had that much in him, said Mr Casey.
[1036]     
[1037]     --I'LL PAY YOUR DUES, FATHER, WHEN YOU CEASE TURNING THE HOUSE OF GOD
[1038]     INTO A POLLING-BOOTH.
[1039]     
[1040]     --A nice answer, said Dante, for any man calling himself a catholic to
[1041]     give to his priest.
[1042]     
[1043]     --They have only themselves to blame, said Mr Dedalus suavely. If they
[1044]     took a fool's advice they would confine their attention to religion.
[1045]     
[1046]     --It is religion, Dante said. They are doing their duty in warning the
[1047]     people.
[1048]     
[1049]     --We go to the house of God, Mr Casey said, in all humility to pray to
[1050]     our Maker and not to hear election addresses.
[1051]     
[1052]     --It is religion, Dante said again. They are right. They must direct
[1053]     their flocks.
[1054]     
[1055]     --And preach politics from the altar, is it? asked Mr Dedalus.
[1056]     
[1057]     --Certainly, said Dante. It is a question of public morality. A priest
[1058]     would not be a priest if he did not tell his flock what is right and
[1059]     what is wrong.
[1060]     
[1061]     Mrs Dedalus laid down her knife and fork, saying:
[1062]     
[1063]     --For pity sake and for pity sake let us have no political discussion
[1064]     on this day of all days in the year.
[1065]     
[1066]     --Quite right, ma'am, said uncle Charles. Now, Simon, that's quite
[1067]     enough now. Not another word now.
[1068]     
[1069]     --Yes, yes, said Mr Dedalus quickly.
[1070]     
[1071]     He uncovered the dish boldly and said:
[1072]     
[1073]     --Now then, who's for more turkey?
[1074]     
[1075]     Nobody answered. Dante said:
[1076]     
[1077]     --Nice language for any catholic to use!
[1078]     
[1079]     --Mrs Riordan, I appeal to you, said Mrs Dedalus, to let the matter
[1080]     drop now.
[1081]     
[1082]     Dante turned on her and said:
[1083]     
[1084]     --And am I to sit here and listen to the pastors of my church being
[1085]     flouted?
[1086]     
[1087]     --Nobody is saying a word against them, said Mr Dedalus, so long as
[1088]     they don't meddle in politics.
[1089]     
[1090]     --The bishops and priests of Ireland have spoken, said Dante, and they
[1091]     must be obeyed.
[1092]     
[1093]     --Let them leave politics alone, said Mr Casey, or the people may
[1094]     leave their church alone.
[1095]     
[1096]     --You hear? said Dante, turning to Mrs Dedalus.
[1097]     
[1098]     --Mr Casey! Simon! said Mrs Dedalus, let it end now.
[1099]     
[1100]     --Too bad! Too bad! said uncle Charles.
[1101]     
[1102]     --What? cried Mr Dedalus. Were we to desert him at the bidding of the
[1103]     English people?
[1104]     
[1105]     --He was no longer worthy to lead, said Dante. He was a public sinner.
[1106]     
[1107]     --We are all sinners and black sinners, said Mr Casey coldly.
[1108]     
[1109]     --WOE BE TO THE MAN BY WHOM THE SCANDAL COMETH! said Mrs Riordan. IT
[1110]     WOULD BE BETTER FOR HIM THAT A MILLSTONE WERE TIED ABOUT HIS NECK AND
[1111]     THAT HE WERE CAST INTO THE DEPTHS OF THE SEA RATHER THAN THAT HE SHOULD
[1112]     SCANDALIZE ONE OF THESE, MY LEAST LITTLE ONES. That is the language of
[1113]     the Holy Ghost.
[1114]     
[1115]     --And very bad language if you ask me, said Mr Dedalus coolly.
[1116]     
[1117]     --Simon! Simon! said uncle Charles. The boy.
[1118]     
[1119]     --Yes, yes, said Mr Dedalus. I meant about the... I was thinking about the
[1120]     bad language of the railway porter. Well now, that's all right. Here,
[1121]     Stephen, show me your plate, old chap. Eat away now. Here.
[1122]     
[1123]     He heaped up the food on Stephen's plate and served uncle Charles and
[1124]     Mr Casey to large pieces of turkey and splashes of sauce. Mrs Dedalus
[1125]     was eating little and Dante sat with her hands in her lap. She was red
[1126]     in the face. Mr Dedalus rooted with the carvers at the end of the dish
[1127]     and said:
[1128]     
[1129]     --There's a tasty bit here we call the pope's nose. If any lady or
[1130]     gentleman...
[1131]     
[1132]     He held a piece of fowl up on the prong of the carving fork. Nobody
[1133]     spoke. He put it on his own plate, saying:
[1134]     
[1135]     --Well, you can't say but you were asked. I think I had better eat it
[1136]     myself because I'm not well in my health lately.
[1137]     
[1138]     He winked at Stephen and, replacing the dish-cover, began to eat again.
[1139]     
[1140]     There was a silence while he ate. Then he said:
[1141]     
[1142]     --Well now, the day kept up fine after all. There were plenty of
[1143]     strangers down too.
[1144]     
[1145]     Nobody spoke. He said again:
[1146]     
[1147]     --I think there were more strangers down than last Christmas.
[1148]     
[1149]     He looked round at the others whose faces were bent towards their
[1150]     plates and, receiving no reply, waited for a moment and said bitterly:
[1151]     
[1152]     --Well, my Christmas dinner has been spoiled anyhow.
[1153]     
[1154]     --There could be neither luck nor grace, Dante said, in a house where
[1155]     there is no respect for the pastors of the church.
[1156]     
[1157]     Mr Dedalus threw his knife and fork noisily on his plate.
[1158]     
[1159]     --Respect! he said. Is it for Billy with the lip or for the tub of
[1160]     guts up in Armagh? Respect!
[1161]     
[1162]     --Princes of the church, said Mr Casey with slow scorn.
[1163]     
[1164]     --Lord Leitrim's coachman, yes, said Mr Dedalus.
[1165]     
[1166]     --They are the Lord's anointed, Dante said. They are an honour to their
[1167]     country.
[1168]     
[1169]     --Tub of guts, said Mr Dedalus coarsely. He has a handsome face, mind
[1170]     you, in repose. You should see that fellow lapping up his bacon and
[1171]     cabbage of a cold winter's day. O Johnny!
[1172]     
[1173]     He twisted his features into a grimace of heavy bestiality and made a
[1174]     lapping noise with his lips.
[1175]     
[1176]     --Really, Simon, you should not speak that way before Stephen. It's
[1177]     not right.
[1178]     
[1179]     --O, he'll remember all this when he grows up, said Dante hotly--the
[1180]     language he heard against God and religion and priests in his own home.
[1181]     
[1182]     --Let him remember too, cried Mr Casey to her from across the table,
[1183]     the language with which the priests and the priests' pawns broke
[1184]     Parnell's heart and hounded him into his grave. Let him remember that
[1185]     too when he grows up.
[1186]     
[1187]     --Sons of bitches! cried Mr Dedalus. When he was down they turned on
[1188]     him to betray him and rend him like rats in a sewer. Low-lived dogs!
[1189]     And they look it! By Christ, they look it!
[1190]     
[1191]     --They behaved rightly, cried Dante. They obeyed their bishops and
[1192]     their priests. Honour to them!
[1193]     
[1194]     --Well, it is perfectly dreadful to say that not even for one day in
[1195]     the year, said Mrs Dedalus, can we be free from these dreadful
[1196]     disputes!
[1197]     
[1198]     Uncle Charles raised his hands mildly and said:
[1199]     
[1200]     --Come now, come now, come now! Can we not have our opinions whatever
[1201]     they are without this bad temper and this bad language? It is too bad
[1202]     surely.
[1203]     
[1204]     Mrs Dedalus spoke to Dante in a low voice but Dante said loudly:
[1205]     
[1206]     --I will not say nothing. I will defend my church and my religion when
[1207]     it is insulted and spit on by renegade catholics.
[1208]     
[1209]     Mr Casey pushed his plate rudely into the middle of the table and,
[1210]     resting his elbows before him, said in a hoarse voice to his host:
[1211]     
[1212]     --Tell me, did I tell you that story about a very famous spit?
[1213]     
[1214]     --You did not, John, said Mr Dedalus.
[1215]     
[1216]     --Why then, said Mr Casey, it is a most instructive story. It happened
[1217]     not long ago in the county Wicklow where we are now.
[1218]     
[1219]     He broke off and, turning towards Dante, said with quiet indignation:
[1220]     
[1221]     --And I may tell you, ma'am, that I, if you mean me, am no renegade
[1222]     catholic. I am a catholic as my father was and his father before him
[1223]     and his father before him again, when we gave up our lives rather than
[1224]     sell our faith.
[1225]     
[1226]     --The more shame to you now, Dante said, to speak as you do.
[1227]     
[1228]     --The story, John, said Mr Dedalus smiling. Let us have the story
[1229]     anyhow.
[1230]     
[1231]     --Catholic indeed! repeated Dante ironically. The blackest protestant
[1232]     in the land would not speak the language I have heard this evening.
[1233]     
[1234]     Mr Dedalus began to sway his head to and fro, crooning like a country
[1235]     singer.
[1236]     
[1237]     --I am no protestant, I tell you again, said Mr Casey, flushing.
[1238]     
[1239]     Mr Dedalus, still crooning and swaying his head, began to sing in a
[1240]     grunting nasal tone:
[1241]     
[1242]     
[1243]     O, come all you Roman catholics
[1244]     That never went to mass.
[1245]     
[1246]     
[1247]     He took up his knife and fork again in good humour and set to eating,
[1248]     saying to Mr Casey:
[1249]     
[1250]     --Let us have the story, John. It will help us to digest.
[1251]     
[1252]     Stephen looked with affection at Mr Casey's face which stared across
[1253]     the table over his joined hands. He liked to sit near him at the fire,
[1254]     looking up at his dark fierce face. But his dark eyes were never fierce
[1255]     and his slow voice was good to listen to. But why was he then against
[1256]     the priests? Because Dante must be right then. But he had heard his
[1257]     father say that she was a spoiled nun and that she had come out of the
[1258]     convent in the Alleghanies when her brother had got the money from the
[1259]     savages for the trinkets and the chainies. Perhaps that made her severe
[1260]     against Parnell. And she did not like him to play with Eileen because
[1261]     Eileen was a protestant and when she was young she knew children that
[1262]     used to play with protestants and the protestants used to make fun of
[1263]     the litany of the Blessed Virgin. TOWER OF IVORY, they used to say,
[1264]     HOUSE OF GOLD! How could a woman be a tower of ivory or a house of
[1265]     gold? Who was right then? And he remembered the evening in the
[1266]     infirmary in Clongowes, the dark waters, the light at the pierhead and
[1267]     the moan of sorrow from the people when they had heard.
[1268]     
[1269]     Eileen had long white hands. One evening when playing tig she had put
[1270]     her hands over his eyes: long and white and thin and cold and soft.
[1271]     That was ivory: a cold white thing. That was the meaning of TOWER OF
[1272]     IVORY.
[1273]     
[1274]     --The story is very short and sweet, Mr Casey said. It was one day
[1275]     down in Arklow, a cold bitter day, not long before the chief died. May
[1276]     God have mercy on him!
[1277]     
[1278]     He closed his eyes wearily and paused. Mr Dedalus took a bone from his
[1279]     plate and tore some meat from it with his teeth, saying:
[1280]     
[1281]     --Before he was killed, you mean.
[1282]     
[1283]     Mr Casey opened his eyes, sighed and went on:
[1284]     
[1285]     --It was down in Arklow one day. We were down there at a meeting and
[1286]     after the meeting was over we had to make our way to the railway
[1287]     station through the crowd. Such booing and baaing, man, you never
[1288]     heard. They called us all the names in the world. Well there was one
[1289]     old lady, and a drunken old harridan she was surely, that paid all her
[1290]     attention to me. She kept dancing along beside me in the mud bawling
[1291]     and screaming into my face: PRIEST-HUNTER! THE PARIS FUNDS! MR FOX!
[1292]     KITTY O'SHEA!
[1293]     
[1294]     --And what did you do, John? asked Mr Dedalus.
[1295]     
[1296]     --I let her bawl away, said Mr Casey. It was a cold day and to keep up
[1297]     my heart I had (saving your presence, ma'am) a quid of Tullamore in my
[1298]     mouth and sure I couldn't say a word in any case because my mouth was
[1299]     full of tobacco juice.
[1300]     
[1301]     --Well, John?
[1302]     
[1303]     --Well. I let her bawl away, to her heart's content, KITTY O'SHEA and
[1304]     the rest of it till at last she called that lady a name that I won't
[1305]     sully this Christmas board nor your ears, ma'am, nor my own lips by
[1306]     repeating.
[1307]     
[1308]     He paused. Mr Dedalus, lifting his head from the bone, asked:
[1309]     
[1310]     --And what did you do, John?
[1311]     
[1312]     --Do! said Mr Casey. She stuck her ugly old face up at me when she
[1313]     said it and I had my mouth full of tobacco juice. I bent down to her
[1314]     and PHTH! says I to her like that.
[1315]     
[1316]     He turned aside and made the act of spitting.
[1317]     
[1318]     --PHTH! says I to her like that, right into her eye.
[1319]     
[1320]     He clapped his hand to his eye and gave a hoarse scream of pain.
[1321]     
[1322]     --O JESUS, MARY AND JOSEPH! says she. I'M BLINDED! I'M BLINDED AND
[1323]     DROWNDED!
[1324]     
[1325]     He stopped in a fit of coughing and laughter, repeating:
[1326]     
[1327]     --I'M BLINDED ENTIRELY.
[1328]     
[1329]     Mr Dedalus laughed loudly and lay back in his chair while uncle Charles
[1330]     swayed his head to and fro.
[1331]     
[1332]     Dante looked terribly angry and repeated while they laughed:
[1333]     
[1334]     --Very nice! Ha! Very nice!
[1335]     
[1336]     It was not nice about the spit in the woman's eye.
[1337]     
[1338]     But what was the name the woman had called Kitty O'Shea that Mr Casey
[1339]     would not repeat? He thought of Mr Casey walking through the crowds of
[1340]     people and making speeches from a wagonette. That was what he had been
[1341]     in prison for and he remembered that one night Sergeant O'Neill had
[1342]     come to the house and had stood in the hall, talking in a low voice
[1343]     with his father and chewing nervously at the chinstrap of his cap. And
[1344]     that night Mr Casey had not gone to Dublin by train but a car had come
[1345]     to the door and he had heard his father say something about the
[1346]     Cabinteely road.
[1347]     
[1348]     He was for