Ulysses by James Joyce
Oxen of the Sun

Leopold Bloom Telemachus
Nestor
Proteus
Calypso
Lotus-Eaters
Hades
Aeolus
Lestrygonians
Scylla and Charybdis
Wandering Rocks
Sirens
Cyclops
Nausicaa
Oxen of the Sun
Circe
Eumeus
Ithaca
Penelope

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[18253]    
[18254]    
[18255]    Deshil Holles Eamus. Deshil Holles Eamus. Deshil Holles Eamus.
[18256]    
[18257]    Send us bright one, light one, Horhorn, quickening and wombfruit. Send
[18258]    us bright one, light one, Horhorn, quickening and wombfruit. Send us
[18259]    bright one, light one, Horhorn, quickening and wombfruit.
[18260]    
[18261]    Hoopsa boyaboy hoopsa! Hoopsa boyaboy hoopsa! Hoopsa boyaboy hoopsa!
[18262]    
[18263]    Universally that person's acumen is esteemed very little perceptive
[18264]    concerning whatsoever matters are being held as most profitably by mortals
[18265]    with sapience endowed to be studied who is ignorant of that which the most
[18266]    in doctrine erudite and certainly by reason of that in them high mind's
[18267]    ornament deserving of veneration constantly maintain when by general
[18268]    consent they affirm that other circumstances being equal by no exterior
[18269]    splendour is the prosperity of a nation more efficaciously asserted than
[18270]    by the measure of how far forward may have progressed the tribute of its
[18271]    solicitude for that proliferent continuance which of evils the original if
[18272]    it be absent when fortunately present constitutes the certain sign of
[18273]    omnipotent nature's incorrupted benefaction. For who is there who anything
[18274]    of some significance has apprehended but is conscious that that exterior
[18275]    splendour may be the surface of a downwardtending lutulent reality or on
[18276]    the contrary anyone so is there unilluminated as not to perceive that as
[18277]    no nature's boon can contend against the bounty of increase so it behoves
[18278]    every most just citizen to become the exhortator and admonisher of his
[18279]    semblables and to tremble lest what had in the past been by the nation
[18280]    excellently commenced might be in the future not with similar excellence
[18281]    accomplished if an inverecund habit shall have gradually traduced the
[18282]    honourable by ancestors transmitted customs to that thither of profundity
[18283]    that that one was audacious excessively who would have the hardihood to
[18284]    rise affirming that no more odious offence can for anyone be than to
[18285]    oblivious neglect to consign that evangel simultaneously command and
[18286]    promise which on all mortals with prophecy of abundance or with
[18287]    diminution's menace that exalted of reiteratedly procreating function ever
[18288]    irrevocably enjoined?
[18289]    
[18290]    It is not why therefore we shall wonder if, as the best historians relate,
[18291]    among the Celts, who nothing that was not in its nature admirable admired,
[18292]    the art of medicine shall have been highly honoured. Not to speak of
[18293]    hostels, leperyards, sweating chambers, plaguegraves, their greatest
[18294]    doctors, the O'Shiels, the O'Hickeys, the O'Lees, have sedulously set down
[18295]    the divers methods by which the sick and the relapsed found again health
[18296]    whether the malady had been the trembling withering or loose boyconnell
[18297]    flux. Certainly in every public work which in it anything of gravity
[18298]    contains preparation should be with importance commensurate and therefore
[18299]    a plan was by them adopted (whether by having preconsidered or as the
[18300]    maturation of experience it is difficult in being said which the
[18301]    discrepant opinions of subsequent inquirers are not up to the present
[18302]    congrued to render manifest) whereby maternity was so far from all
[18303]    accident possibility removed that whatever care the patient in that
[18304]    all hardest of woman hour chiefly required and not solely for the
[18305]    copiously opulent but also for her who not being sufficiently moneyed
[18306]    scarcely and often not even scarcely could subsist valiantly and for an
[18307]    inconsiderable emolument was provided.
[18308]    
[18309]    To her nothing already then and thenceforward was anyway able to be
[18310]    molestful for this chiefly felt all citizens except with proliferent
[18311]    mothers prosperity at all not to can be and as they had received eternity
[18312]    gods mortals generation to befit them her beholding, when the case was so
[18313]    hoving itself, parturient in vehicle thereward carrying desire immense
[18314]    among all one another was impelling on of her to be received into that
[18315]    domicile. O thing of prudent nation not merely in being seen but also
[18316]    even in being related worthy of being praised that they her by
[18317]    anticipation went seeing mother, that she by them suddenly to be about to
[18318]    be cherished had been begun she felt!
[18319]    
[18320]    Before born bliss babe had. Within womb won he worship. Whatever
[18321]    in that one case done commodiously done was. A couch by midwives
[18322]    attended with wholesome food reposeful, cleanest swaddles as though
[18323]    forthbringing were now done and by wise foresight set: but to this no less
[18324]    of what drugs there is need and surgical implements which are pertaining
[18325]    to her case not omitting aspect of all very distracting spectacles in
[18326]    various latitudes by our terrestrial orb offered together with images,
[18327]    divine and human, the cogitation of which by sejunct females is to
[18328]    tumescence conducive or eases issue in the high sunbright wellbuilt fair
[18329]    home of mothers when, ostensibly far gone and reproductitive, it is come
[18330]    by her thereto to lie in, her term up.
[18331]    
[18332]    Some man that wayfaring was stood by housedoor at night's
[18333]    oncoming. Of Israel's folk was that man that on earth wandering far had
[18334]    fared. Stark ruth of man his errand that him lone led till that house.
[18335]    
[18336]    Of that house A. Horne is lord. Seventy beds keeps he there teeming
[18337]    mothers are wont that they lie for to thole and bring forth bairns hale so
[18338]    God's angel to Mary quoth. Watchers tway there walk, white sisters in
[18339]    ward sleepless. Smarts they still, sickness soothing: in twelve moons
[18340]    thrice an hundred. Truest bedthanes they twain are, for Horne holding
[18341]    wariest ward.
[18342]    
[18343]    In ward wary the watcher hearing come that man mildhearted eft
[18344]    rising with swire ywimpled to him her gate wide undid. Lo, levin leaping
[18345]    lightens in eyeblink Ireland's westward welkin. Full she drad that God the
[18346]    Wreaker all mankind would fordo with water for his evil sins. Christ's
[18347]    rood made she on breastbone and him drew that he would rathe infare under
[18348]    her thatch. That man her will wotting worthful went in Horne's house.
[18349]    
[18350]    Loth to irk in Horne's hall hat holding the seeker stood. On her stow
[18351]    he ere was living with dear wife and lovesome daughter that then over land
[18352]    and seafloor nine years had long outwandered. Once her in townhithe
[18353]    meeting he to her bow had not doffed. Her to forgive now he craved with
[18354]    good ground of her allowed that that of him swiftseen face, hers, so young
[18355]    then had looked. Light swift her eyes kindled, bloom of blushes his word
[18356]    winning.
[18357]    
[18358]    As her eyes then ongot his weeds swart therefor sorrow she feared.
[18359]    Glad after she was that ere adread was. Her he asked if O'Hare Doctor
[18360]    tidings sent from far coast and she with grameful sigh him answered that
[18361]    O'Hare Doctor in heaven was. Sad was the man that word to hear that him
[18362]    so heavied in bowels ruthful. All she there told him, ruing death for
[18363]    friend so young, algate sore unwilling God's rightwiseness to withsay. She
[18364]    said that he had a fair sweet death through God His goodness with
[18365]    masspriest to be shriven, holy housel and sick men's oil to his limbs. The
[18366]    man then right earnest asked the nun of which death the dead man was died
[18367]    and the nun answered him and said that he was died in Mona Island through
[18368]    bellycrab three year agone come Childermas and she prayed to God the
[18369]    Allruthful to have his dear soul in his undeathliness. He heard her sad
[18370]    words, in held hat sad staring. So stood they there both awhile in wanhope
[18371]    sorrowing one with other.
[18372]    
[18373]    Therefore, everyman, look to that last end that is thy death and the
[18374]    dust that gripeth on every man that is born of woman for as he came naked
[18375]    forth from his mother's womb so naked shall he wend him at the last for to
[18376]    go as he came.
[18377]    
[18378]    The man that was come in to the house then spoke to the
[18379]    nursingwoman and he asked her how it fared with the woman that lay there
[18380]    in childbed. The nursingwoman answered him and said that that woman
[18381]    was in throes now full three days and that it would be a hard birth unneth
[18382]    to bear but that now in a little it would be. She said thereto that she
[18383]    had seen many births of women but never was none so hard as was that
[18384]    woman's birth. Then she set it all forth to him for because she knew the
[18385]    man that time was had lived nigh that house. The man hearkened to her
[18386]    words for he felt with wonder women's woe in the travail that they have of
[18387]    motherhood and he wondered to look on her face that was a fair face for
[18388]    any man to see but yet was she left after long years a handmaid. Nine
[18389]    twelve bloodflows chiding her childless.
[18390]    
[18391]    And whiles they spake the door of the castle was opened and there
[18392]    nighed them a mickle noise as of many that sat there at meat. And there
[18393]    came against the place as they stood a young learningknight yclept Dixon.
[18394]    And the traveller Leopold was couth to him sithen it had happed that they
[18395]    had had ado each with other in the house of misericord where this
[18396]    learningknight lay by cause the traveller Leopold came there to be healed
[18397]    for he was sore wounded in his breast by a spear wherewith a horrible and
[18398]    dreadful dragon was smitten him for which he did do make a salve of
[18399]    volatile salt and chrism as much as he might suffice. And he said now that
[18400]    he should go in to that castle for to make merry with them that were
[18401]    there. And the traveller Leopold said that he should go otherwhither for
[18402]    he was a man of cautels and a subtile. Also the lady was of his avis and
[18403]    repreved the learningknight though she trowed well that the traveller had
[18404]    said thing that was false for his subtility. But the learningknight would
[18405]    not hear say nay nor do her mandement ne have him in aught contrarious to
[18406]    his list and he said how it was a marvellous castle. And the traveller
[18407]    Leopold went into the castle for to rest him for a space being sore of
[18408]    limb after many marches environing in divers lands and sometime venery.
[18409]    
[18410]    And in the castle was set a board that was of the birchwood of
[18411]    Finlandy and it was upheld by four dwarfmen of that country but they
[18412]    durst not move more for enchantment. And on this board were frightful
[18413]    swords and knives that are made in a great cavern by swinking demons out
[18414]    of white flames that they fix then in the horns of buffalos and stags that
[18415]    there abound marvellously. And there were vessels that are wrought by
[18416]    magic of Mahound out of seasand and the air by a warlock with his breath
[18417]    that he blases in to them like to bubbles. And full fair cheer and rich
[18418]    was on the board that no wight could devise a fuller ne richer. And there
[18419]    was a vat of silver that was moved by craft to open in the which lay
[18420]    strange fishes withouten heads though misbelieving men nie that this
[18421]    be possible thing without they see it natheless they are so. And these
[18422]    fishes lie in an oily water brought there from Portugal land because
[18423]    of the fatness that therein is like to the juices of the olivepress.
[18424]    And also it was a marvel to see in that castle how by magic they make
[18425]    a compost out of fecund wheatkidneys out of Chaldee that by aid of
[18426]    certain angry spirits that they do in to it swells up wondrously like
[18427]    to a vast mountain. And they teach the serpents there to entwine
[18428]    themselves up on long sticks out of the ground and of the scales of
[18429]    these serpents they brew out a brewage like to mead.
[18430]    
[18431]    And the learning knight let pour for childe Leopold a draught and halp
[18432]    thereto the while all they that were there drank every each. And childe
[18433]    Leopold did up his beaver for to pleasure him and took apertly somewhat in
[18434]    amity for he never drank no manner of mead which he then put by and
[18435]    anon full privily he voided the more part in his neighbour glass and his
[18436]    neighbour nist not of this wile. And he sat down in that castle with them
[18437]    for to rest him there awhile. Thanked be Almighty God.
[18438]    
[18439]    This meanwhile this good sister stood by the door and begged them at
[18440]    the reverence of Jesu our alther liege Lord to leave their wassailing for
[18441]    there was above one quick with child, a gentle dame, whose time hied fast.
[18442]    Sir Leopold heard on the upfloor cry on high and he wondered what cry that
[18443]    it was whether of child or woman and I marvel, said he, that it be not
[18444]    come or now. Meseems it dureth overlong. And he was ware and saw a
[18445]    franklin that hight Lenehan on that side the table that was older than any
[18446]    of the tother and for that they both were knights virtuous in the one
[18447]    emprise and eke by cause that he was elder he spoke to him full gently.
[18448]    But, said he, or it be long too she will bring forth by God His bounty and
[18449]    have joy of her childing for she hath waited marvellous long. And the
[18450]    franklin that had drunken said, Expecting each moment to be her next.
[18451]    Also he took the cup that stood tofore him for him needed never none
[18452]    asking nor desiring of him to drink and, Now drink, said he, fully
[18453]    delectably, and he quaffed as far as he might to their both's health
[18454]    for he was a passing good man of his lustiness. And sir Leopold
[18455]    that was the goodliest guest that ever sat in scholars' hall and
[18456]    that was the meekest man and the kindest that ever laid husbandly
[18457]    hand under hen and that was the very truest knight of the world
[18458]    one that ever did minion service to lady gentle pledged him courtly in
[18459]    the cup. Woman's woe with wonder pondering.
[18460]    
[18461]    Now let us speak of that fellowship that was there to the intent to be
[18462]    drunken an they might. There was a sort of scholars along either side the
[18463]    board, that is to wit, Dixon yclept junior of saint Mary Merciable's with
[18464]    other his fellows Lynch and Madden, scholars of medicine, and the franklin
[18465]    that hight Lenehan and one from Alba Longa, one Crotthers, and young
[18466]    Stephen that had mien of a frere that was at head of the board and
[18467]    Costello that men clepen Punch Costello all long of a mastery of him
[18468]    erewhile gested (and of all them, reserved young Stephen, he was the most
[18469]    drunken that demanded still of more mead) and beside the meek sir
[18470]    Leopold. But on young Malachi they waited for that he promised to
[18471]    have come and such as intended to no goodness said how he had broke
[18472]    his avow. And sir Leopold sat with them for he bore fast friendship
[18473]    to sir Simon and to this his son young Stephen and for that his languor
[18474]    becalmed him there after longest wanderings insomuch as they feasted
[18475]    him for that time in the honourablest manner. Ruth red him, love led
[18476]    on with will to wander, loth to leave.
[18477]    
[18478]    For they were right witty scholars. And he heard their aresouns each gen
[18479]    other as touching birth and righteousness, young Madden maintaining that
[18480]    put such case it were hard the wife to die (for so it had fallen out a
[18481]    matter of some year agone with a woman of Eblana in Horne's house that
[18482]    now was trespassed out of this world and the self night next before her
[18483]    death all leeches and pothecaries had taken counsel of her case). And
[18484]    they said farther she should live because in the beginning, they said,
[18485]    the woman should bring forth in pain and wherefore they that were of this
[18486]    imagination affirmed how young Madden had said truth for he had
[18487]    conscience to let her die. And not few and of these was young Lynch were
[18488]    in doubt that the world was now right evil governed as it was never other
[18489]    howbeit the mean people believed it otherwise but the law nor his judges
[18490]    did provide no remedy. A redress God grant. This was scant said but all
[18491]    cried with one acclaim nay, by our Virgin Mother, the wife should live
[18492]    and the babe to die. In colour whereof they waxed hot upon that head what
[18493]    with argument and what for their drinking but the franklin Lenehan was
[18494]    prompt each when to pour them ale so that at the least way mirth might
[18495]    not lack. Then young Madden showed all the whole affair and said how that
[18496]    she was dead and how for holy religion sake by rede of palmer and
[18497]    bedesman and for a vow he had made to Saint Ultan of Arbraccan her
[18498]    goodman husband would not let her death whereby they were all wondrous
[18499]    grieved. To whom young Stephen had these words following: Murmur, sirs,
[18500]    is eke oft among lay folk. Both babe and parent now glorify their Maker,
[18501]    the one in limbo gloom, the other in purgefire. But, gramercy, what of
[18502]    those Godpossibled souls that we nightly impossibilise, which is the sin
[18503]    against the Holy Ghost, Very God, Lord and Giver of Life? For, sirs, he
[18504]    said, our lust is brief. We are means to those small creatures within us
[18505]    and nature has other ends than we. Then said Dixon junior to Punch
[18506]    Costello wist he what ends. But he had overmuch drunken and the best word
[18507]    he could have of him was that he would ever dishonest a woman whoso she
[18508]    were or wife or maid or leman if it so fortuned him to be delivered of
[18509]    his spleen of lustihead. Whereat Crotthers of Alba Longa sang young
[18510]    Malachi's praise of that beast the unicorn how once in the millennium he
[18511]    cometh by his horn, the other all this while, pricked forward with their
[18512]    jibes wherewith they did malice him, witnessing all and several by saint
[18513]    Foutinus his engines that he was able to do any manner of thing that lay
[18514]    in man to do. Thereat laughed they all right jocundly only young Stephen
[18515]    and sir Leopold which never durst laugh too open by reason of a strange
[18516]    humour which he would not bewray and also for that he rued for her that
[18517]    bare whoso she might be or wheresoever. Then spake young Stephen orgulous
[18518]    of mother Church that would cast him out of her bosom, of law of canons,
[18519]    of Lilith, patron of abortions, of bigness wrought by wind of seeds of
[18520]    brightness or by potency of vampires mouth to mouth or, as Virgilius
[18521]    saith, by the influence of the occident or by the reek of moonflower or
[18522]    an she lie with a woman which her man has but lain with, EFFECTU SECUTO,
[18523]    or peradventure in her bath according to the opinions of Averroes and
[18524]    Moses Maimonides. He said also how at the end of the second month a human
[18525]    soul was infused and how in all our holy mother foldeth ever souls for
[18526]    God's greater glory whereas that earthly mother which was but a dam to
[18527]    bear beastly should die by canon for so saith he that holdeth the
[18528]    fisherman's seal, even that blessed Peter on which rock was holy church
[18529]    for all ages founded. All they bachelors then asked of sir Leopold would
[18530]    he in like case so jeopard her person as risk life to save life. A
[18531]    wariness of mind he would answer as fitted all and, laying hand to jaw,
[18532]    he said dissembling, as his wont was, that as it was informed him, who
[18533]    had ever loved the art of physic as might a layman, and agreeing also
[18534]    with his experience of so seldomseen an accident it was good for that
[18535]    mother Church belike at one blow had birth and death pence and in such
[18536]    sort deliverly he scaped their questions. That is truth, pardy, said
[18537]    Dixon, and, or I err, a pregnant word. Which hearing young Stephen was a
[18538]    marvellous glad man and he averred that he who stealeth from the poor
[18539]    lendeth to the Lord for he was of a wild manner when he was drunken and
[18540]    that he was now in that taking it appeared eftsoons.
[18541]    
[18542]    But sir Leopold was passing grave maugre his word by cause he still had
[18543]    pity of the terrorcausing shrieking of shrill women in their labour and
[18544]    as he was minded of his good lady Marion that had borne him an only
[18545]    manchild which on his eleventh day on live had died and no man of art
[18546]    could save so dark is destiny. And she was wondrous stricken of heart for
[18547]    that evil hap and for his burial did him on a fair corselet of lamb's
[18548]    wool, the flower of the flock, lest he might perish utterly and lie
[18549]    akeled (for it was then about the midst of the winter) and now Sir
[18550]    Leopold that had of his body no manchild for an heir looked upon him his
[18551]    friend's son and was shut up in sorrow for his forepassed happiness and
[18552]    as sad as he was that him failed a son of such gentle courage (for all
[18553]    accounted him of real parts) so grieved he also in no less measure for
[18554]    young Stephen for that he lived riotously with those wastrels and
[18555]    murdered his goods with whores.
[18556]    
[18557]    About that present time young Stephen filled all cups that stood empty so
[18558]    as there remained but little mo if the prudenter had not shadowed their
[18559]    approach from him that still plied it very busily who, praying for the
[18560]    intentions of the sovereign pontiff, he gave them for a pledge the vicar
[18561]    of Christ which also as he said is vicar of Bray. Now drink we, quod he,
[18562]    of this mazer and quaff ye this mead which is not indeed parcel of my
[18563]    body but my soul's bodiment. Leave ye fraction of bread to them that live
[18564]    by bread alone. Be not afeard neither for any want for this will comfort
[18565]    more than the other will dismay. See ye here. And he showed them
[18566]    glistering coins of the tribute and goldsmith notes the worth of two
[18567]    pound nineteen shilling that he had, he said, for a song which he writ.
[18568]    They all admired to see the foresaid riches in such dearth of money as
[18569]    was herebefore. His words were then these as followeth: Know all men, he
[18570]    said, time's ruins build eternity's mansions. What means this? Desire's
[18571]    wind blasts the thorntree but after it becomes from a bramblebush to be a
[18572]    rose upon the rood of time. Mark me now. In woman's womb word is made
[18573]    flesh but in the spirit of the maker all flesh that passes becomes the
[18574]    word that shall not pass away. This is the postcreation. OMNIS CARO AD TE
[18575]    VENIET. No question but her name is puissant who aventried the dear corse
[18576]    of our Agenbuyer, Healer and Herd, our mighty mother and mother most
[18577]    venerable and Bernardus saith aptly that She hath an OMNIPOTENTIAM
[18578]    DEIPARAE SUPPLICEM, that is to wit, an almightiness of petition because
[18579]    she is the second Eve and she won us, saith Augustine too, whereas that
[18580]    other, our grandam, which we are linked up with by successive anastomosis
[18581]    of navelcords sold us all, seed, breed and generation, for a penny
[18582]    pippin. But here is the matter now. Or she knew him, that second I say,
[18583]    and was but creature of her creature, VERGINE MADRE, FIGLIA DI TUO
[18584]    FIGLIO, or she knew him not and then stands she in the one denial or
[18585]    ignorancy with Peter Piscator who lives in the house that Jack built and
[18586]    with Joseph the joiner patron of the happy demise of all unhappy
[18587]    marriages, PARCEQUE M. LEO TAXIL NOUS A DIT QUE QUI L'AVAIT MISE DANS
[18588]    CETTE FICHUE POSITION C'ETAIT LE SACRE PIGEON, VENTRE DE DIEU! ENTWEDER
[18589]    transubstantiality ODER consubstantiality but in no case
[18590]    subsubstantiality. And all cried out upon it for a very scurvy word. A
[18591]    pregnancy without joy, he said, a birth without pangs, a body without
[18592]    blemish, a belly without bigness. Let the lewd with faith and fervour
[18593]    worship. With will will we withstand, withsay.
[18594]    
[18595]    Hereupon Punch Costello dinged with his fist upon the board and would
[18596]    sing a bawdy catch STABOO STABELLA about a wench that was put in pod of a
[18597]    jolly swashbuckler in Almany which he did straightways now attack: THE
[18598]    FIRST THREE MONTHS SHE WAS NOT WELL, STABOO, when here nurse Quigley from
[18599]    the door angerly bid them hist ye should shame you nor was it not meet as
[18600]    she remembered them being her mind was to have all orderly against lord
[18601]    Andrew came for because she was jealous that no gasteful turmoil might
[18602]    shorten the honour of her guard. It was an ancient and a sad matron of a
[18603]    sedate look and christian walking, in habit dun beseeming her megrims and
[18604]    wrinkled visage, nor did her hortative want of it effect for
[18605]    incontinently Punch Costello was of them all embraided and they reclaimed
[18606]    the churl with civil rudeness some and shaked him with menace of
[18607]    blandishments others whiles they all chode with him, a murrain seize the
[18608]    dolt, what a devil he would be at, thou chuff, thou puny, thou got in
[18609]    peasestraw, thou losel, thou chitterling, thou spawn of a rebel, thou
[18610]    dykedropt, thou abortion thou, to shut up his drunken drool out of that
[18611]    like a curse of God ape, the good sir Leopold that had for his cognisance
[18612]    the flower of quiet, margerain gentle, advising also the time's occasion
[18613]    as most sacred and most worthy to be most sacred. In Horne's house rest
[18614]    should reign.
[18615]    
[18616]    To be short this passage was scarce by when Master Dixon of Mary in
[18617]    Eccles, goodly grinning, asked young Stephen what was the reason why he
[18618]    had not cided to take friar's vows and he answered him obedience in the
[18619]    womb, chastity in the tomb but involuntary poverty all his days. Master
[18620]    Lenehan at this made return that he had heard of those nefarious deeds
[18621]    and how, as he heard hereof counted, he had besmirched the lily virtue of
[18622]    a confiding female which was corruption of minors and they all
[18623]    intershowed it too, waxing merry and toasting to his fathership. But he
[18624]    said very entirely it was clean contrary to their suppose for he was the
[18625]    eternal son and ever virgin. Thereat mirth grew in them the more and they
[18626]    rehearsed to him his curious rite of wedlock for the disrobing and
[18627]    deflowering of spouses, as the priests use in Madagascar island, she to
[18628]    be in guise of white and saffron, her groom in white and grain, with
[18629]    burning of nard and tapers, on a bridebed while clerks sung kyries and
[18630]    the anthem UT NOVETUR SEXUS OMNIS CORPORIS MYSTERIUM till she was there
[18631]    unmaided. He gave them then a much admirable hymen minim by those
[18632]    delicate poets Master John Fletcher and Master Francis Beaumont that is
[18633]    in their MAID'S TRAGEDY that was writ for a like twining of lovers: TO
[18634]    BED, TO BED was the burden of it to be played with accompanable concent
[18635]    upon the virginals. An exquisite dulcet epithalame of most mollificative
[18636]    suadency for juveniles amatory whom the odoriferous flambeaus of the
[18637]    paranymphs have escorted to the quadrupedal proscenium of connubial
[18638]    communion. Well met they were, said Master Dixon, joyed, but, harkee,
[18639]    young sir, better were they named Beau Mount and Lecher for, by my troth,
[18640]    of such a mingling much might come. Young Stephen said indeed to his best
[18641]    remembrance they had but the one doxy between them and she of the stews
[18642]    to make shift with in delights amorous for life ran very high in those
[18643]    days and the custom of the country approved with it. Greater love than
[18644]    this, he said, no man hath that a man lay down his wife for his friend.
[18645]    Go thou and do likewise. Thus, or words to that effect, saith
[18646]    Zarathustra, sometime regius professor of French letters to the
[18647]    university of Oxtail nor breathed there ever that man to whom mankind was
[18648]    more beholden. Bring a stranger within thy tower it will go hard but thou
[18649]    wilt have the secondbest bed. ORATE, FRATRES, PRO MEMETIPSO. And all the
[18650]    people shall say, Amen. Remember, Erin, thy generations and thy days of
[18651]    old, how thou settedst little by me and by my word and broughtedst in a
[18652]    stranger to my gates to commit fornication in my sight and to wax fat and
[18653]    kick like Jeshurum. Therefore hast thou sinned against my light and hast
[18654]    made me, thy lord, to be the slave of servants. Return, return, Clan
[18655]    Milly: forget me not, O Milesian. Why hast thou done this abomination
[18656]    before me that thou didst spurn me for a merchant of jalaps and didst
[18657]    deny me to the Roman and to the Indian of dark speech with whom thy
[18658]    daughters did lie luxuriously? Look forth now, my people, upon the land
[18659]    of behest, even from Horeb and from Nebo and from Pisgah and from the
[18660]    Horns of Hatten unto a land flowing with milk and money. But thou hast
[18661]    suckled me with a bitter milk: my moon and my sun thou hast quenched for
[18662]    ever. And thou hast left me alone for ever in the dark ways of my
[18663]    bitterness: and with a kiss of ashes hast thou kissed my mouth. This
[18664]    tenebrosity of the interior, he proceeded to say, hath not been illumined
[18665]    by the wit of the septuagint nor so much as mentioned for the Orient from
[18666]    on high Which brake hell's gates visited a darkness that was foraneous.
[18667]    Assuefaction minorates atrocities (as Tully saith of his darling Stoics)
[18668]    and Hamlet his father showeth the prince no blister of combustion. The
[18669]    adiaphane in the noon of life is an Egypt's plague which in the nights of
[18670]    prenativity and postmortemity is their most proper UBI and QUOMODO. And
[18671]    as the ends and ultimates of all things accord in some mean and measure
[18672]    with their inceptions and originals, that same multiplicit concordance
[18673]    which leads forth growth from birth accomplishing by a retrogressive
[18674]    metamorphosis that minishing and ablation towards the final which is
[18675]    agreeable unto nature so is it with our subsolar being. The aged sisters
[18676]    draw us into life: we wail, batten, sport, clip, clasp, sunder, dwindle,
[18677]    die: over us dead they bend. First, saved from waters of old Nile, among
[18678]    bulrushes, a bed of fasciated wattles: at last the cavity of a mountain,
[18679]    an occulted sepulchre amid the conclamation of the hillcat and the
[18680]    ossifrage. And as no man knows the ubicity of his tumulus nor to what
[18681]    processes we shall thereby be ushered nor whether to Tophet or to
[18682]    Edenville in the like way is all hidden when we would backward see from
[18683]    what region of remoteness the whatness of our whoness hath fetched his
[18684]    whenceness.
[18685]    
[18686]    Thereto Punch Costello roared out mainly ETIENNE CHANSON but he loudly
[18687]    bid them, lo, wisdom hath built herself a house, this vast majestic
[18688]    longstablished vault, the crystal palace of the Creator, all in applepie
[18689]    order, a penny for him who finds the pea.
[18690]    
[18691]    
[18692]        BEHOLD THE MANSION REARED BY DEDAL JACK
[18693]        SEE THE MALT STORED IN MANY A REFLUENT SACK,
[18694]        IN THE PROUD CIRQUE OF JACKJOHN'S BIVOUAC.
[18695]    
[18696]    
[18697]    A black crack of noise in the street here, alack, bawled back. Loud on
[18698]    left Thor thundered: in anger awful the hammerhurler. Came now the storm
[18699]    that hist his heart. And Master Lynch bade him have a care to flout and
[18700]    witwanton as the god self was angered for his hellprate and paganry. And
[18701]    he that had erst challenged to be so doughty waxed wan as they might all
[18702]    mark and shrank together and his pitch that was before so haught uplift
[18703]    was now of a sudden quite plucked down and his heart shook within the
[18704]    cage of his breast as he tasted the rumour of that storm. Then did some
[18705]    mock and some jeer and Punch Costello fell hard again to his yale which
[18706]    Master Lenehan vowed he would do after and he was indeed but a word and a
[18707]    blow on any the least colour. But the braggart boaster cried that an old
[18708]    Nobodaddy was in his cups it was muchwhat indifferent and he would not
[18709]    lag behind his lead. But this was only to dye his desperation as cowed he
[18710]    crouched in Horne's hall. He drank indeed at one draught to pluck up a
[18711]    heart of any grace for it thundered long rumblingly over all the heavens
[18712]    so that Master Madden, being godly certain whiles, knocked him on his
[18713]    ribs upon that crack of doom and Master Bloom, at the braggart's side,
[18714]    spoke to him calming words to slumber his great fear, advertising how it
[18715]    was no other thing but a hubbub noise that he heard, the discharge of
[18716]    fluid from the thunderhead, look you, having taken place, and all of the
[18717]    order of a natural phenomenon.
[18718]    
[18719]    But was young Boasthard's fear vanquished by Calmer's words? No, for he
[18720]    had in his bosom a spike named Bitterness which could not by words be
[18721]    done away. And was he then neither calm like the one nor godly like the
[18722]    other? He was neither as much as he would have liked to be either. But
[18723]    could he not have endeavoured to have found again as in his youth the
[18724]    bottle Holiness that then he lived withal? Indeed no for Grace was not
[18725]    there to find that bottle. Heard he then in that clap the voice of the
[18726]    god Bringforth or, what Calmer said, a hubbub of Phenomenon? Heard? Why,
[18727]    he could not but hear unless he had plugged him up the tube Understanding
[18728]    (which he had not done). For through that tube he saw that he was in the
[18729]    land of Phenomenon where he must for a certain one day die as he was like
[18730]    the rest too a passing show. And would he not accept to die like the rest
[18731]    and pass away? By no means would he though he must nor would he make more
[18732]    shows according as men do with wives which Phenomenon has commanded them
[18733]    to do by the book Law. Then wotted he nought of that other land which is
[18734]    called Believe-on-Me, that is the land of promise which behoves to the
[18735]    king Delightful and shall be for ever where there is no death and no
[18736]    birth neither wiving nor mothering at which all shall come as many as
[18737]    believe on it? Yes, Pious had told him of that land and Chaste had
[18738]    pointed him to the way but the reason was that in the way he fell in with
[18739]    a certain whore of an eyepleasing exterior whose name, she said, is Bird-
[18740]    in-the-Hand and she beguiled him wrongways from the true path by her
[18741]    flatteries that she said to him as, Ho, you pretty man, turn aside hither
[18742]    and I will show you a brave place, and she lay at him so flatteringly
[18743]    that she had him in her grot which is named Two-in-the-Bush or, by some
[18744]    learned, Carnal Concupiscence.
[18745]    
[18746]    This was it what all that company that sat there at commons in Manse of
[18747]    Mothers the most lusted after and if they met with this whore Bird-in-
[18748]    the-Hand (which was within all foul plagues, monsters and a wicked devil)
[18749]    they would strain the last but they would make at her and know her. For
[18750]    regarding Believe-on-Me they said it was nought else but notion and they
[18751]    could conceive no thought of it for, first, Two-in-the-Bush whither she
[18752]    ticed them was the very goodliest grot and in it were four pillows on
[18753]    which were four tickets with these words printed on them, Pickaback and
[18754]    Topsyturvy and Shameface and Cheek by Jowl and, second, for that foul
[18755]    plague Allpox and the monsters they cared not for them for Preservative
[18756]    had given them a stout shield of oxengut and, third, that they might take
[18757]    no hurt neither from Offspring that was that wicked devil by virtue of
[18758]    this same shield which was named Killchild. So were they all in their
[18759]    blind fancy, Mr Cavil and Mr Sometimes Godly, Mr Ape Swillale, Mr False
[18760]    Franklin, Mr Dainty Dixon, Young Boasthard and Mr Cautious Calmer.
[18761]    Wherein, O wretched company, were ye all deceived for that was the voice
[18762]    of the god that was in a very grievous rage that he would presently lift
[18763]    his arm up and spill their souls for their abuses and their spillings
[18764]    done by them contrariwise to his word which forth to bring brenningly
[18765]    biddeth.
[18766]    
[18767]    So Thursday sixteenth June Patk. Dignam laid in clay of an apoplexy and
[18768]    after hard drought, please God, rained, a bargeman coming in by water a
[18769]    fifty mile or thereabout with turf saying the seed won't sprout, fields
[18770]    athirst, very sadcoloured and stunk mightily, the quags and tofts too.
[18771]    Hard to breathe and all the young quicks clean consumed without sprinkle
[18772]    this long while back as no man remembered to be without. The rosy buds
[18773]    all gone brown and spread out blobs and on the hills nought but dry flag
[18774]    and faggots that would catch at first fire. All the world saying, for
[18775]    aught they knew, the big wind of last February a year that did havoc the
[18776]    land so pitifully a small thing beside this barrenness. But by and by, as
[18777]    said, this evening after sundown, the wind sitting in the west, biggish
[18778]    swollen clouds to be seen as the night increased and the weatherwise
[18779]    poring up at them and some sheet lightnings at first and after, past ten
[18780]    of the clock, one great stroke with a long thunder and in a brace of
[18781]    shakes all scamper pellmell within door for the smoking shower, the men
[18782]    making shelter for their straws with a clout or kerchief, womenfolk
[18783]    skipping off with kirtles catched up soon as the pour came. In Ely place,
[18784]    Baggot street, Duke's lawn, thence through Merrion green up to Holles
[18785]    street a swash of water flowing that was before bonedry and not one chair
[18786]    or coach or fiacre seen about but no more crack after that first. Over
[18787]    against the Rt. Hon. Mr Justice Fitzgibbon's door (that is to sit with Mr
[18788]    Healy the lawyer upon the college lands) Mal. Mulligan a gentleman's
[18789]    gentleman that had but come from Mr Moore's the writer's (that was a
[18790]    papish but is now, folk say, a good Williamite) chanced against Alec.
[18791]    Bannon in a cut bob (which are now in with dance cloaks of Kendal green)
[18792]    that was new got to town from Mullingar with the stage where his coz and
[18793]    Mal M's brother will stay a month yet till Saint Swithin and asks what in
[18794]    the earth he does there, he bound home and he to Andrew Horne's being
[18795]    stayed for to crush a cup of wine, so he said, but would tell him of a
[18796]    skittish heifer, big of her age and beef to the heel, and all this while
[18797]    poured with rain and so both together on to Horne's. There Leop. Bloom of
[18798]    Crawford's journal sitting snug with a covey of wags, likely brangling
[18799]    fellows, Dixon jun., scholar of my lady of Mercy's, Vin. Lynch, a Scots
[18800]    fellow, Will. Madden, T. Lenehan, very sad about a racer he fancied and
[18801]    Stephen D. Leop. Bloom there for a languor he had but was now better, be
[18802]    having dreamed tonight a strange fancy of his dame Mrs Moll with red
[18803]    slippers on in a pair of Turkey trunks which is thought by those in ken
[18804]    to be for a change and Mistress Purefoy there, that got in through
[18805]    pleading her belly, and now on the stools, poor body, two days past her
[18806]    term, the midwives sore put to it and can't deliver, she queasy for a
[18807]    bowl of riceslop that is a shrewd drier up of the insides and her breath
[18808]    very heavy more than good and should be a bullyboy from the knocks, they
[18809]    say, but God give her soon issue. 'Tis her ninth chick to live, I hear,
[18810]    and Lady day bit off her last chick's nails that was then a twelvemonth
[18811]    and with other three all breastfed that died written out in a fair hand
[18812]    in the king's bible. Her hub fifty odd and a methodist but takes the
[18813]    sacrament and is to be seen any fair sabbath with a pair of his boys off
[18814]    Bullock harbour dapping on the sound with a heavybraked reel or in a punt
[18815]    he has trailing for flounder and pollock and catches a fine bag, I hear.
[18816]    In sum an infinite great fall of rain and all refreshed and will much
[18817]    increase the harvest yet those in ken say after wind and water fire shall
[18818]    come for a prognostication of Malachi's almanac (and I hear that Mr
[18819]    Russell has done a prophetical charm of the same gist out of the
[18820]    Hindustanish for his farmer's gazette) to have three things in all but
[18821]    this a mere fetch without bottom of reason for old crones and bairns yet
[18822]    sometimes they are found in the right guess with their queerities no
[18823]    telling how.
[18824]    
[18825]    With this came up Lenehan to the feet of the table to say how the letter
[18826]    was in that night's gazette and he made a show to find it about him (for
[18827]    he swore with an oath that he had been at pains about it) but on
[18828]    Stephen's persuasion he gave over the search and was bidden to sit near
[18829]    by which he did mighty brisk. He was a kind of sport gentleman that went
[18830]    for a merryandrew or honest pickle and what belonged of women, horseflesh
[18831]    or hot scandal he had it pat. To tell the truth he was mean in fortunes
[18832]    and for the most part hankered about the coffeehouses and low taverns
[18833]    with crimps, ostlers, bookies, Paul's men, runners, flatcaps,
[18834]    waistcoateers, ladies of the bagnio and other rogues of the game or with
[18835]    a chanceable catchpole or a tipstaff often at nights till broad day of
[18836]    whom he picked up between his sackpossets much loose gossip. He took his
[18837]    ordinary at a boilingcook's and if he had but gotten into him a mess of
[18838]    broken victuals or a platter of tripes with a bare tester in his purse he
[18839]    could always bring himself off with his tongue, some randy quip he had
[18840]    from a punk or whatnot that every mother's son of them would burst their
[18841]    sides. The other, Costello that is, hearing this talk asked was it poetry
[18842]    or a tale. Faith, no, he says, Frank (that was his name), 'tis all about
[18843]    Kerry cows that are to be butchered along of the plague. But they can go
[18844]    hang, says he with a wink, for me with their bully beef, a pox on it.
[18845]    There's as good fish in this tin as ever came out of it and very friendly
[18846]    he offered to take of some salty sprats that stood by which he had eyed
[18847]    wishly in the meantime and found the place which was indeed the chief
[18848]    design of his embassy as he was sharpset. MORT AUX VACHES, says Frank
[18849]    then in the French language that had been indentured to a brandyshipper
[18850]    that has a winelodge in Bordeaux and he spoke French like a gentleman
[18851]    too. From a child this Frank had been a donought that his father, a
[18852]    headborough, who could ill keep him to school to learn his letters and
[18853]    the use of the globes, matriculated at the university to study the
[18854]    mechanics but he took the bit between his teeth like a raw colt and was
[18855]    more familiar with the justiciary and the parish beadle than with his
[18856]    volumes. One time he would be a playactor, then a sutler or a welsher,
[18857]    then nought would keep him from the bearpit and the cocking main, then he
[18858]    was for the ocean sea or to hoof it on the roads with the romany folk,
[18859]    kidnapping a squire's heir by favour of moonlight or fecking maids' linen
[18860]    or choking chicken behind a hedge. He had been off as many times as a cat
[18861]    has lives and back again with naked pockets as many more to his father
[18862]    the headborough who shed a pint of tears as often as he saw him. What,
[18863]    says Mr Leopold with his hands across, that was earnest to know the drift
[18864]    of it, will they slaughter all? I protest I saw them but this day morning
[18865]    going to the Liverpool boats, says he. I can scarce believe 'tis so bad,
[18866]    says he. And he had experience of the like brood beasts and of springers,
[18867]    greasy hoggets and wether wool, having been some years before actuary for
[18868]    Mr Joseph Cuffe, a worthy salesmaster that drove his trade for live stock
[18869]    and meadow auctions hard by Mr Gavin Low's yard in Prussia street. I
[18870]    question with you there, says he. More like 'tis the hoose or the timber
[18871]    tongue. Mr Stephen, a little moved but very handsomely told him no such
[18872]    matter and that he had dispatches from the emperor's chief tailtickler
[18873]    thanking him for the hospitality, that was sending over Doctor
[18874]    Rinderpest, the bestquoted cowcatcher in all Muscovy, with a bolus or two
[18875]    of physic to take the bull by the horns. Come, come, says Mr Vincent,
[18876]    plain dealing. He'll find himself on the horns of a dilemma if he meddles
[18877]    with a bull that's Irish, says he. Irish by name and irish by nature,
[18878]    says Mr Stephen, and he sent the ale purling about, an Irish bull in an
[18879]    English chinashop. I conceive you, says Mr Dixon. It is that same bull
[18880]    that was sent to our island by farmer Nicholas, the bravest cattlebreeder
[18881]    of them all, with an emerald ring in his nose. True for you, says Mr
[18882]    Vincent cross the table, and a bullseye into the bargain, says he, and a
[18883]    plumper and a portlier bull, says he, never shit on shamrock. He had
[18884]    horns galore, a coat of cloth of gold and a sweet smoky breath coming out
[18885]    of his nostrils so that the women of our island, leaving doughballs and
[18886]    rollingpins, followed after him hanging his bulliness in daisychains.
[18887]    What for that, says Mr Dixon, but before he came over farmer Nicholas
[18888]    that was a eunuch had him properly gelded by a college of doctors who
[18889]    were no better off than himself. So be off now, says he, and do all my
[18890]    cousin german the lord Harry tells you and take a farmer's blessing, and
[18891]    with that he slapped his posteriors very soundly. But the slap and the
[18892]    blessing stood him friend, says Mr Vincent, for to make up he taught him
[18893]    a trick worth two of the other so that maid, wife, abbess and widow to
[18894]    this day affirm that they would rather any time of the month whisper in
[18895]    his ear in the dark of a cowhouse or get a lick on the nape from his long
[18896]    holy tongue than lie with the finest strapping young ravisher in the four
[18897]    fields of all Ireland. Another then put in his word: And they dressed
[18898]    him, says he, in a point shift and petticoat with a tippet and girdle and
[18899]    ruffles on his wrists and clipped his forelock and rubbed him all over
[18900]    with spermacetic oil and built stables for him at every turn of the road
[18901]    with a gold manger in each full of the best hay in the market so that he
[18902]    could doss and dung to his heart's content. By this time the father of
[18903]    the faithful (for so they called him) was grown so heavy that he could
[18904]    scarce walk to pasture. To remedy which our cozening dames and damsels
[18905]    brought him his fodder in their apronlaps and as soon as his belly was
[18906]    full he would rear up on his hind uarters to show their ladyships a
[18907]    mystery and roar and bellow out of him in bulls' language and they all
[18908]    after him. Ay, says another, and so pampered was he that he would suffer
[18909]    nought to grow in all the land but green grass for himself (for that was
[18910]    the only colour to his mind) and there was a board put up on a hillock in
[18911]    the middle of the island with a printed notice, saying: By the Lord
[18912]    Harry, Green is the grass that grows on the ground. And, says Mr Dixon,
[18913]    if ever he got scent of a cattleraider in Roscommon or the wilds of
[18914]    Connemara or a husbandman in Sligo that was sowing as much as a handful
[18915]    of mustard or a bag of rapeseed out he'd run amok over half the
[18916]    countryside rooting up with his horns whatever was planted and all by
[18917]    lord Harry's orders. There was bad blood between them at first, says Mr
[18918]    Vincent, and the lord Harry called farmer Nicholas all the old Nicks in
[18919]    the world and an old whoremaster that kept seven trulls in his house and
[18920]    I'll meddle in his matters, says he. I'll make that animal smell hell,
[18921]    says he, with the help of that good pizzle my father left me. But one
[18922]    evening, says Mr Dixon, when the lord Harry was cleaning his royal pelt
[18923]    to go to dinner after winning a boatrace (he had spade oars for himself
[18924]    but the first rule of the course was that the others were to row with
[18925]    pitchforks) he discovered in himself a wonderful likeness to a bull and
[18926]    on picking up a blackthumbed chapbook that he kept in the pantry he found
[18927]    sure enough that he was a lefthanded descendant of the famous champion
[18928]    bull of the Romans, BOS BOVUM, which is good bog Latin for boss of the
[18929]    show. After that, says Mr Vincent, the lord Harry put his head into a
[18930]    cow's drinkingtrough in the presence of all his courtiers and pulling it
[18931]    out again told them all his new name. Then, with the water running off
[18932]    him, he got into an old smock and skirt that had belonged to his
[18933]    grandmother and bought a grammar of the bulls' language to study but he
[18934]    could never learn a word of it except the first personal pronoun which he
[18935]    copied out big and got off by heart and if ever he went out for a walk he
[18936]    filled his pockets with chalk to write it upon what took his fancy, the
[18937]    side of a rock or a teahouse table or a bale of cotton or a corkfloat. In
[18938]    short, he and the bull of Ireland were soon as fast friends as an arse
[18939]    and a shirt. They were, says Mr Stephen, and the end was that the men of
[18940]    the island seeing no help was toward, as the ungrate women were all of
[18941]    one mind, made a wherry raft, loaded themselves and their bundles of
[18942]    chattels on shipboard, set all masts erect, manned the yards, sprang
[18943]    their luff, heaved to, spread three sheets in the wind, put her head
[18944]    between wind and water, weighed anchor, ported her helm, ran up the jolly
[18945]    Roger, gave three times three, let the bullgine run, pushed off in their
[18946]    bumboat and put to sea to recover the main of America. Which was the
[18947]    occasion, says Mr Vincent, of the composing by a boatswain of that
[18948]    rollicking chanty:
[18949]    
[18950]    
[18951]      --POPE PETER'S BUT A PISSABED.
[18952]        A MAN'S A MAN FOR A' THAT.
[18953]    
[18954]    
[18955]    Our worthy acquaintance Mr Malachi Mulligan now appeared in the doorway
[18956]    as the students were finishing their apologue accompanied with a friend
[18957]    whom he had just rencountered, a young gentleman, his name Alec Bannon,
[18958]    who had late come to town, it being his intention to buy a colour or a
[18959]    cornetcy in the fencibles and list for the wars. Mr Mulligan was civil
[18960]    enough to express some relish of it all the more as it jumped with a
[18961]    project of his own for the cure of the very evil that had been touched
[18962]    on. Whereat he handed round to the company a set of pasteboard cards
[18963]    which he had had printed that day at Mr Quinnell's bearing a legend
[18964]    printed in fair italics: MR MALACHI MULLIGAN. FERTILISER AND INCUBATOR.
[18965]    LAMBAY ISLAND. His project, as he went on to expound, was to withdraw
[18966]    from the round of idle pleasures such as form the chief business of sir
[18967]    Fopling Popinjay and sir Milksop Quidnunc in town and to devote himself
[18968]    to the noblest task for which our bodily organism has been framed. Well,
[18969]    let us hear of it, good my friend, said Mr Dixon. I make no doubt it
[18970]    smacks of wenching. Come, be seated, both. 'Tis as cheap sitting as
[18971]    standing. Mr Mulligan accepted of the invitation and, expatiating upon
[18972]    his design, told his hearers that he had been led into this thought by a
[18973]    consideration of the causes of sterility, both the inhibitory and the
[18974]    prohibitory, whether the inhibition in its turn were due to conjugal
[18975]    vexations or to a parsimony of the balance as well as whether the
[18976]    prohibition proceeded from defects congenital or from proclivities
[18977]    acquired. It grieved him plaguily, he said, to see the nuptial couch
[18978]    defrauded of its dearest pledges: and to reflect upon so many agreeable
[18979]    females with rich jointures, a prey to the vilest bonzes, who hide their
[18980]    flambeau under a bushel in an uncongenial cloister or lose their womanly
[18981]    bloom in the embraces of some unaccountable muskin when they might
[18982]    multiply the inlets of happiness, sacrificing the inestimable jewel of
[18983]    their sex when a hundred pretty fellows were at hand to caress, this, he
[18984]    assured them, made his heart weep. To curb this inconvenient (which he
[18985]    concluded due to a suppression of latent heat), having advised with
[18986]    certain counsellors of worth and inspected into this matter, he had
[18987]    resolved to purchase in fee simple for ever the freehold of Lambay island
[18988]    from its holder, lord Talbot de Malahide, a Tory gentleman of note much
[18989]    in favour with our ascendancy party. He proposed to set up there a
[18990]    national fertilising farm to be named OMPHALOS with an obelisk hewn and
[18991]    erected after the fashion of Egypt and to offer his dutiful yeoman
[18992]    services for the fecundation of any female of what grade of life soever
[18993]    who should there direct to him with the desire of fulfilling the
[18994]    functions of her natural. Money was no object, he said, nor would he take
[18995]    a penny for his pains. The poorest kitchenwench no less than the opulent
[18996]    lady of fashion, if so be their constructions and their tempers were warm
[18997]    persuaders for their petitions, would find in him their man. For his
[18998]    nutriment he shewed how he would feed himself exclusively upon a diet of
[18999]    savoury tubercles and fish and coneys there, the flesh of these latter
[19000]    prolific rodents being highly recommended for his purpose, both broiled
[19001]    and stewed with a blade of mace and a pod or two of capsicum chillies.
[19002]    After this homily which he delivered with much warmth of asseveration Mr
[19003]    Mulligan in a trice put off from his hat a kerchief with which he had
[19004]    shielded it. They both, it seems, had been overtaken by the rain and for
[19005]    all their mending their pace had taken water, as might be observed by Mr
[19006]    Mulligan's smallclothes of a hodden grey which was now somewhat piebald.
[19007]    His project meanwhile was very favourably entertained by his auditors and
[19008]    won hearty eulogies from all though Mr Dixon of Mary's excepted to it,
[19009]    asking with a finicking air did he purpose also to carry coals to
[19010]    Newcastle. Mr Mulligan however made court to the scholarly by an apt
[19011]    quotation from the classics which, as it dwelt upon his memory, seemed to
[19012]    him a sound and tasteful support of his contention: TALIS AC TANTA
[19013]    DEPRAVATIO HUJUS SECULI, O QUIRITES, UT MATRESFAMILIARUM NOSTRAE LASCIVAS
[19014]    CUJUSLIBET SEMIVIRI LIBICI TITILLATIONES TESTIBUS PONDEROSIS ATQUE
[19015]    EXCELSIS ERECTIONIBUS CENTURIONUM ROMANORUM MAGNOPERE ANTEPONUNT, while
[19016]    for those of ruder wit he drove home his point by analogies of the animal
[19017]    kingdom more suitable to their stomach, the buck and doe of the forest
[19018]    glade, the farmyard drake and duck.
[19019]    
[19020]    Valuing himself not a little upon his elegance, being indeed a proper man
[19021]    of person, this talkative now applied himself to his dress with
[19022]    animadversions of some heat upon the sudden whimsy of the atmospherics
[19023]    while the company lavished their encomiums upon the project he had
[19024]    advanced. The young gentleman, his friend, overjoyed as he was at a
[19025]    passage that had late befallen him, could not forbear to tell it his
[19026]    nearest neighbour. Mr Mulligan, now perceiving the table, asked for whom
[19027]    were those loaves and fishes and, seeing the stranger, he made him a
[19028]    civil bow and said, Pray, sir, was you in need of any professional
[19029]    assistance we could give? Who, upon his offer, thanked him very heartily,
[19030]    though preserving his proper distance, and replied that he was come there
[19031]    about a lady, now an inmate of Horne's house, that was in an interesting
[19032]    condition, poor body, from woman's woe (and here he fetched a deep sigh)
[19033]    to know if her happiness had yet taken place. Mr Dixon, to turn the
[19034]    table, took on to ask of Mr Mulligan himself whether his incipient
[19035]    ventripotence, upon which he rallied him, betokened an ovoblastic
[19036]    gestation in the prostatic utricle or male womb or was due, as with the
[19037]    noted physician, Mr Austin Meldon, to a wolf in the stomach. For answer
[19038]    Mr Mulligan, in a gale of laughter at his smalls, smote himself bravely
[19039]    below the diaphragm, exclaiming with an admirable droll mimic of Mother
[19040]    Grogan (the most excellent creature of her sex though 'tis pity she's a
[19041]    trollop): There's a belly that never bore a bastard. This was so happy a
[19042]    conceit that it renewed the storm of mirth and threw the whole room into
[19043]    the most violent agitations of delight. The spry rattle had run on in the
[19044]    same vein of mimicry but for some larum in the antechamber.
[19045]    
[19046]    Here the listener who was none other than the Scotch student, a little
[19047]    fume of a fellow, blond as tow, congratulated in the liveliest fashion
[19048]    with the young gentleman and, interrupting the narrative at a salient
[19049]    point, having desired his visavis with a polite beck to have the
[19050]    obligingness to pass him a flagon of cordial waters at the same time by a
[19051]    questioning poise of the head (a whole century of polite breeding had not
[19052]    achieved so nice a gesture) to which was united an equivalent but
[19053]    contrary balance of the bottle asked the narrator as plainly as was ever
[19054]    done in words if he might treat him with a cup of it. MAIS BIEN SUR,
[19055]    noble stranger, said he cheerily, ET MILLE COMPLIMENTS. That you may and
[19056]    very opportunely. There wanted nothing but this cup to crown my felicity.
[19057]    But, gracious heaven, was I left with but a crust in my wallet and a
[19058]    cupful of water from the well, my God, I would accept of them and find it
[19059]    in my heart to kneel down upon the ground and give thanks to the powers
[19060]    above for the happiness vouchsafed me by the Giver of good things. With
[19061]    these words he approached the goblet to his lips, took a complacent
[19062]    draught of the cordial, slicked his hair and, opening his bosom, out
[19063]    popped a locket that hung from a silk riband, that very picture which he
[19064]    had cherished ever since her hand had wrote therein. Gazing upon those
[19065]    features with a world of tenderness, Ah, Monsieur, he said, had you but
[19066]    beheld her as I did with these eyes at that affecting instant with her
[19067]    dainty tucker and her new coquette cap (a gift for her feastday as she
[19068]    told me prettily) in such an artless disorder, of so melting a
[19069]    tenderness, 'pon my conscience, even you, Monsieur, had been impelled by
[19070]    generous nature to deliver yourself wholly into the hands of such an
[19071]    enemy or to quit the field for ever. I declare, I was never so touched in
[19072]    all my life. God, I thank thee, as the Author of my days! Thrice happy
[19073]    will he be whom so amiable a creature will bless with her favours. A sigh
[19074]    of affection gave eloquence to these words and, having replaced the
[19075]    locket in his bosom, he wiped his eye and sighed again. Beneficent
[19076]    Disseminator of blessings to all Thy creatures, how great and universal
[19077]    must be that sweetest of Thy tyrannies which can hold in thrall the free
[19078]    and the bond, the simple swain and the polished coxcomb, the lover in the
[19079]    heyday of reckless passion and the husband of maturer years. But indeed,
[19080]    sir, I wander from the point. How mingled and imperfect are all our
[19081]    sublunary joys. Maledicity! he exclaimed in anguish. Would to God that
[19082]    foresight had but remembered me to take my cloak along! I could weep to
[19083]    think of it. Then, though it had poured seven showers, we were neither of
[19084]    us a penny the worse. But beshrew me, he cried, clapping hand to his
[19085]    forehead, tomorrow will be a new day and, thousand thunders, I know of a
[19086]    MARCHAND DE CAPOTES, Monsieur Poyntz, from whom I can have for a livre as
[19087]    snug a cloak of the French fashion as ever kept a lady from wetting. Tut,
[19088]    tut! cries Le Fecondateur, tripping in, my friend Monsieur Moore, that
[19089]    most accomplished traveller (I have just cracked a half bottle AVEC LUI
[19090]    in a circle of the best wits of the town), is my authority that in Cape
[19091]    Horn, VENTRE BICHE, they have a rain that will wet through any, even the
[19092]    stoutest cloak. A drenching of that violence, he tells me, SANS BLAGUE,
[19093]    has sent more than one luckless fellow in good earnest posthaste to
[19094]    another world. Pooh! A LIVRE! cries Monsieur Lynch. The clumsy things are
[19095]    dear at a sou. One umbrella, were it no bigger than a fairy mushroom, is
[19096]    worth ten such stopgaps. No woman of any wit would wear one. My dear
[19097]    Kitty told me today that she would dance in a deluge before ever she
[19098]    would starve in such an ark of salvation for, as she reminded me
[19099]    (blushing piquantly and whispering in my ear though there was none to
[19100]    snap her words but giddy butterflies), dame Nature, by the divine
[19101]    blessing, has implanted it in our hearts and it has become a household
[19102]    word that IL Y A DEUX CHOSES for which the innocence of our original
[19103]    garb, in other circumstances a breach of the proprieties, is the fittest,
[19104]    nay, the only garment. The first, said she (and here my pretty
[19105]    philosopher, as I handed her to her tilbury, to fix my attention, gently
[19106]    tipped with her tongue the outer chamber of my ear), the first is a bath
[19107]    ... But at this point a bell tinkling in the hall cut short a discourse
[19108]    which promised so bravely for the enrichment of our store of knowledge.
[19109]    
[19110]    Amid the general vacant hilarity of the assembly a bell rang and, while
[19111]    all were conjecturing what might be the cause, Miss Callan entered and,
[19112]    having spoken a few words in a low tone to young Mr Dixon, retired with a
[19113]    profound bow to the company. The presence even for a moment among a party
[19114]    of debauchees of a woman endued with every quality of modesty and not
[19115]    less severe than beautiful refrained the humourous sallies even of the
[19116]    most licentious but her departure was the signal for an outbreak of
[19117]    ribaldry. Strike me silly, said Costello, a low fellow who was fuddled. A
[19118]    monstrous fine bit of cowflesh! I'll be sworn she has rendezvoused you.
[19119]    What, you dog? Have you a way with them? Gad's bud, immensely so, said Mr
[19120]    Lynch. The bedside manner it is that they use in the Mater hospice.
[19121]    Demme, does not Doctor O'Gargle chuck the nuns there under the chin. As I
[19122]    look to be saved I had it from my Kitty who has been wardmaid there any
[19123]    time these seven months. Lawksamercy, doctor, cried the young blood in
[19124]    the primrose vest, feigning a womanish simper and with immodest
[19125]    squirmings of his body, how you do tease a body! Drat the man! Bless me,
[19126]    I'm all of a wibbly wobbly. Why, you're as bad as dear little Father
[19127]    Cantekissem, that you are! May this pot of four half choke me, cried
[19128]    Costello, if she aint in the family way. I knows a lady what's got a
[19129]    white swelling quick as I claps eyes on her. The young surgeon, however,
[19130]    rose and begged the company to excuse his retreat as the nurse had just
[19131]    then informed him that he was needed in the ward. Merciful providence had
[19132]    been pleased to put a period to the sufferings of the lady who was
[19133]    ENCEINTE which she had borne with a laudable fortitude and she had given
[19134]    birth to a bouncing boy. I want patience, said he, with those who,
[19135]    without wit to enliven or learning to instruct, revile an ennobling
[19136]    profession which, saving the reverence due to the Deity, is the greatest
[19137]    power for happiness upon the earth. I am positive when I say that if need
[19138]    were I could produce a cloud of witnesses to the excellence of her noble
[19139]    exercitations which, so far from being a byword, should be a glorious
[19140]    incentive in the human breast. I cannot away with them. What? Malign such
[19141]    an one, the amiable Miss Callan, who is the lustre of her own sex and the
[19142]    astonishment of ours? And at an instant the most momentous that can
[19143]    befall a puny child of clay? Perish the thought! I shudder to think of
[19144]    the future of a race where the seeds of such malice have been sown and
[19145]    where no right reverence is rendered to mother and maid in house of
[19146]    Horne. Having delivered himself of this rebuke he saluted those present
[19147]    on the by and repaired to the door. A murmur of approval arose from all
[19148]    and some were for ejecting the low soaker without more ado, a design
[19149]    which would have been effected nor would he have received more than his
[19150]    bare deserts had he not abridged his transgression by affirming with a
[19151]    horrid imprecation (for he swore a round hand) that he was as good a son
[19152]    of the true fold as ever drew breath. Stap my vitals, said he, them was
[19153]    always the sentiments of honest Frank Costello which I was bred up most
[19154]    particular to honour thy father and thy mother that had the best hand to
[19155]    a rolypoly or a hasty pudding as you ever see what I always looks back on
[19156]    with a loving heart.
[19157]    
[19158]    To revert to Mr Bloom who, after his first entry, had been conscious of
[19159]    some impudent mocks which he however had borne with as being the fruits
[19160]    of that age upon which it is commonly charged that it knows not pity. The
[19161]    young sparks, it is true, were as full of extravagancies as overgrown
[19162]    children: the words of their tumultuary discussions were difficultly
[19163]    understood and not often nice: their testiness and outrageous MOTS were
[19164]    such that his intellects resiled from: nor were they scrupulously
[19165]    sensible of the proprieties though their fund of strong animal spirits
[19166]    spoke in their behalf. But the word of Mr Costello was an unwelcome
[19167]    language for him for he nauseated the wretch that seemed to him a
[19168]    cropeared creature of a misshapen gibbosity, born out of wedlock and
[19169]    thrust like a crookback toothed and feet first into the world, which the
[19170]    dint of the surgeon's pliers in his skull lent indeed a colour to, so as
[19171]    to put him in thought of that missing link of creation's chain
[19172]    desiderated by the late ingenious Mr Darwin. It was now for more than the
[19173]    middle span of our allotted years that he had passed through the thousand
[19174]    vicissitudes of existence and, being of a wary ascendancy and self a man
[19175]    of rare forecast, he had enjoined his heart to repress all motions of a
[19176]    rising choler and, by intercepting them with the readiest precaution,
[19177]    foster within his breast that plenitude of sufferance which base minds
[19178]    jeer at, rash judgers scorn and all find tolerable and but tolerable. To
[19179]    those who create themselves wits at the cost of feminine delicacy (a
[19180]    habit of mind which he never did hold with) to them he would concede
[19181]    neither to bear the name nor to herit the tradition of a proper breeding:
[19182]    while for such that, having lost all forbearance, can lose no more, there
[19183]    remained the sharp antidote of experience to cause their insolency to
[19184]    beat a precipitate and inglorious retreat. Not but what he could feel
[19185]    with mettlesome youth which, caring nought for the mows of dotards or the
[19186]    gruntlings of the severe, is ever (as the chaste fancy of the Holy Writer
[19187]    expresses it) for eating of the tree forbid it yet not so far forth as to
[19188]    pretermit humanity upon any condition soever towards a gentlewoman when
[19189]    she was about her lawful occasions. To conclude, while from the sister's
[19190]    words he had reckoned upon a speedy delivery he was, however, it must be
[19191]    owned, not a little alleviated by the intelligence that the issue so
[19192]    auspicated after an ordeal of such duress now testified once more to the
[19193]    mercy as well as to the bounty of the Supreme Being.
[19194]    
[19195]    Accordingly he broke his mind to his neighbour, saying that, to express
[19196]    his notion of the thing, his opinion (who ought not perchance to express
[19197]    one) was that one must have a cold constitution and a frigid genius not
[19198]    to be rejoiced by this freshest news of the fruition of her confinement
[19199]    since she had been in such pain through no fault of hers. The dressy
[19200]    young blade said it was her husband's that put her in that expectation or
[19201]    at least it ought to be unless she were another Ephesian matron. I must
[19202]    acquaint you, said Mr Crotthers, clapping on the table so as to evoke a
[19203]    resonant comment of emphasis, old Glory Allelujurum was round again
[19204]    today, an elderly man with dundrearies, preferring through his nose a
[19205]    request to have word of Wilhelmina, my life, as he calls her. I bade him
[19206]    hold himself in readiness for that the event would burst anon. 'Slife,
[19207]    I'll be round with you. I cannot but extol the virile potency of the old
[19208]    bucko that could still knock another child out of her. All fell to
[19209]    praising of it, each after his own fashion, though the same young blade
[19210]    held with his former view that another than her conjugial had been the
[19211]    man in the gap, a clerk in orders, a linkboy (virtuous) or an itinerant
[19212]    vendor of articles needed in every household. Singular, communed the
[19213]    guest with himself, the wonderfully unequal faculty of metempsychosis
[19214]    possessed by them, that the puerperal dormitory and the dissecting
[19215]    theatre should be the seminaries of such frivolity, that the mere
[19216]    acquisition of academic titles should suffice to transform in a pinch of
[19217]    time these votaries of levity into exemplary practitioners of an art
[19218]    which most men anywise eminent have esteemed the noblest. But, he further
[19219]    added, it is mayhap to relieve the pentup feelings that in common oppress
[19220]    them for I have more than once observed that birds of a feather laugh
[19221]    together.
[19222]    
[19223]    But with what fitness, let it be asked of the noble lord, his patron, has
[19224]    this alien, whom the concession of a gracious prince has admitted to
[19225]    civic rights, constituted himself the lord paramount of our internal
[19226]    polity? Where is now that gratitude which loyalty should have counselled?
[19227]    During the recent war whenever the enemy had a temporary advantage with
[19228]    his granados did this traitor to his kind not seize that moment to
[19229]    discharge his piece against the empire of which he is a tenant at will
[19230]    while he trembled for the security of his four per cents? Has he
[19231]    forgotten this as he forgets all benefits received? Or is it that from
[19232]    being a deluder of others he has become at last his own dupe as he is, if
[19233]    report belie him not, his own and his only enjoyer? Far be it from
[19234]    candour to violate the bedchamber of a respectable lady, the daughter of
[19235]    a gallant major, or to cast the most distant reflections upon her virtue
[19236]    but if he challenges attention there (as it was indeed highly his
[19237]    interest not to have done) then be it so. Unhappy woman, she has been too
[19238]    long and too persistently denied her legitimate prerogative to listen to
[19239]    his objurgations with any other feeling than the derision of the
[19240]    desperate. He says this, a censor of morals, a very pelican in his piety,
[19241]    who did not scruple, oblivious of the ties of nature, to attempt illicit
[19242]    intercourse with a female domestic drawn from the lowest strata of
[19243]    society! Nay, had the hussy's scouringbrush not been her tutelary angel,
[19244]    it had gone with her as hard as with Hagar, the Egyptian! In the question
[19245]    of the grazing lands his peevish asperity is notorious and in Mr Cuffe's
[19246]    hearing brought upon him from an indignant rancher a scathing retort
[19247]    couched in terms as straightforward as they were bucolic. It ill becomes
[19248]    him to preach that gospel. Has he not nearer home a seedfield that lies
[19249]    fallow for the want of the ploughshare? A habit reprehensible at puberty
[19250]    is second nature and an opprobrium in middle life. If he must dispense
[19251]    his balm of Gilead in nostrums and apothegms of dubious taste to restore
[19252]    to health a generation of unfledged profligates let his practice consist
[19253]    better with the doctrines that now engross him. His marital breast is the
[19254]    repository of secrets which decorum is reluctant to adduce. The lewd
[19255]    suggestions of some faded beauty may console him for a consort neglected
[19256]    and debauched but this new exponent of morals and healer of ills is at
[19257]    his best an exotic tree which, when rooted in its native orient, throve
[19258]    and flourished and was abundant in balm but, transplanted to a clime more
[19259]    temperate, its roots have lost their quondam vigour while the stuff that
[19260]    comes away from it is stagnant, acid and inoperative.
[19261]    
[19262]    The news was imparted with a circumspection recalling the ceremonial
[19263]    usage of the Sublime Porte by the second female infirmarian to the junior
[19264]    medical officer in residence, who in his turn announced to the delegation
[19265]    that an heir had been born, When he had betaken himself to the women's
[19266]    apartment to assist at the prescribed ceremony of the afterbirth in the
[19267]    presence of the secretary of state for domestic affairs and the members
[19268]    of the privy council, silent in unanimous exhaustion and approbation the
[19269]    delegates, chafing under the length and solemnity of their vigil and
[19270]    hoping that the joyful occurrence would palliate a licence which the
[19271]    simultaneous absence of abigail and obstetrician rendered the easier,
[19272]    broke out at once into a strife of tongues. In vain the voice of Mr
[19273]    Canvasser Bloom was heard endeavouring to urge, to mollify, to refrain.
[19274]    The moment was too propitious for the display of that discursiveness
[19275]    which seemed the only bond of union among tempers so divergent. Every
[19276]    phase of the situation was successively eviscerated: the prenatal
[19277]    repugnance of uterine brothers, the Caesarean section, posthumity with
[19278]    respect to the father and, that rarer form, with respect to the mother,
[19279]    the fratricidal case known as the Childs Murder and rendered memorable by
[19280]    the impassioned plea of Mr Advocate Bushe which secured the acquittal of
[19281]    the wrongfully accused, the rights of primogeniture and king's bounty
[19282]    touching twins and triplets, miscarriages and infanticides, simulated or
[19283]    dissimulated, the acardiac FOETUS IN FOETU and aprosopia due to a
[19284]    congestion, the agnathia of certain chinless Chinamen (cited by Mr
[19285]    Candidate Mulligan) in consequence of defective reunion of the maxillary
[19286]    knobs along the medial line so that (as he said) one ear could hear what
[19287]    the other spoke, the benefits of anesthesia or twilight sleep, the
[19288]    prolongation of labour pains in advanced gravidancy by reason of pressure
[19289]    on the vein, the premature relentment of the amniotic fluid (as
[19290]    exemplified in the actual case) with consequent peril of sepsis to the
[19291]    matrix, artificial insemination by means of syringes, involution of the
[19292]    womb consequent upon the menopause, the problem of the perpetration of
[19293]    the species in the case of females impregnated by delinquent rape, that
[19294]    distressing manner of delivery called by the Brandenburghers STURZGEBURT,
[19295]    the recorded instances of multiseminal, twikindled and monstrous births
[19296]    conceived during the catamenic period or of consanguineous parents--in a
[19297]    word all the cases of human nativity which Aristotle has classified in
[19298]    his masterpiece with chromolithographic illustrations. The gravest
[19299]    problems of obstetrics and forensic medicine were examined with as much
[19300]    animation as the most popular beliefs on the state of pregnancy such as
[19301]    the forbidding to a gravid woman to step over a countrystile lest, by her
[19302]    movement, the navelcord should strangle her creature and the injunction
[19303]    upon her in the event of a yearning, ardently and ineffectually
[19304]    entertained, to place her hand against that part of her person which long
[19305]    usage has consecrated as the seat of castigation. The abnormalities of
[19306]    harelip, breastmole, supernumerary digits, negro's inkle, strawberry mark
[19307]    and portwine stain were alleged by one as a PRIMA FACIE and natural
[19308]    hypothetical explanation of those swineheaded (the case of Madame Grissel
[19309]    Steevens was not forgotten) or doghaired infants occasionally born. The
[19310]    hypothesis of a plasmic memory, advanced by the Caledonian envoy and
[19311]    worthy of the metaphysical traditions of the land he stood for, envisaged
[19312]    in such cases an arrest of embryonic development at some stage antecedent
[19313]    to the human. An outlandish delegate sustained against both these views,
[19314]    with such heat as almost carried conviction, the theory of copulation
[19315]    between women and the males of brutes, his authority being his own
[19316]    avouchment in support of fables such as that of the Minotaur which the
[19317]    genius of the elegant Latin poet has handed down to us in the pages of
[19318]    his Metamorphoses. The impression made by his words was immediate but
[19319]    shortlived. It was effaced as easily as it had been evoked by an
[19320]    allocution from Mr Candidate Mulligan in that vein of pleasantry which
[19321]    none better than he knew how to affect, postulating as the supremest
[19322]    object of desire a nice clean old man. Contemporaneously, a heated
[19323]    argument having arisen between Mr Delegate Madden and Mr Candidate Lynch
[19324]    regarding the juridical and theological dilemma created in the event of
[19325]    one Siamese twin predeceasing the other, the difficulty by mutual consent
[19326]    was referred to Mr Canvasser Bloom for instant submittal to Mr Coadjutor
[19327]    Deacon Dedalus. Hitherto silent, whether the better to show by
[19328]    preternatural gravity that curious dignity of the garb with which he was
[19329]    invested or in obedience to an inward voice, he delivered briefly and, as
[19330]    some thought, perfunctorily the ecclesiastical ordinance forbidding man
[19331]    to put asunder what God has joined.
[19332]    
[19333]    But Malachias' tale began to freeze them with horror. He conjured up the
[19334]    scene before them. The secret panel beside the chimney slid back and in
[19335]    the recess appeared ... Haines! Which of us did not feel his flesh creep!
[19336]    He had a portfolio full of Celtic literature in one hand, in the other a
[19337]    phial marked POISON. Surprise, horror, loathing were depicted on all
[19338]    faces while he eyed them with a ghostly grin. I anticipated some such
[19339]    reception, he began with an eldritch laugh, for which, it seems, history
[19340]    is to blame. Yes, it is true. I am the murderer of Samuel Childs. And how
[19341]    I am punished! The inferno has no terrors for me. This is the appearance
[19342]    is on me. Tare and ages, what way would I be resting at all, he muttered
[19343]    thickly, and I tramping Dublin this while back with my share of songs and
[19344]    himself after me the like of a soulth or a bullawurrus? My hell, and
[19345]    Ireland's, is in this life. It is what I tried to obliterate my crime.
[19346]    Distractions, rookshooting, the Erse language (he recited some), laudanum
[19347]    (he raised the phial to his lips), camping out. In vain! His spectre
[19348]    stalks me. Dope is my only hope ... Ah! Destruction! The black panther!
[19349]    With a cry he suddenly vanished and the panel slid back. An instant later
[19350]    his head appeared in the door opposite and said: Meet me at Westland Row
[19351]    station at ten past eleven. He was gone. Tears gushed from the eyes of
[19352]    the dissipated host. The seer raised his hand to heaven, murmuring: The
[19353]    vendetta of Mananaun! The sage repeated: LEX TALIONIS. The sentimentalist
[19354]    is he who would enjoy without incurring the immense debtorship for a
[19355]    thing done. Malachias, overcome by emotion, ceased. The mystery was
[19356]    unveiled. Haines was the third brother. His real name was Childs. The
[19357]    black panther was himself the ghost of his own father. He drank drugs to
[19358]    obliterate. For this relief much thanks. The lonely house by the
[19359]    graveyard is uninhabited. No soul will live there. The spider pitches her
[19360]    web in the solitude. The nocturnal rat peers from his hole. A curse is on
[19361]    it. It is haunted. Murderer's ground.
[19362]    
[19363]    What is the age of the soul of man? As she hath the virtue of the
[19364]    chameleon to change her hue at every new approach, to be gay with the
[19365]    merry and mournful with the downcast, so too is her age changeable as her
[19366]    mood. No longer is Leopold, as he sits there, ruminating, chewing the cud
[19367]    of reminiscence, that staid agent of publicity and holder of a modest
[19368]    substance in the funds. A score of years are blown away. He is young
[19369]    Leopold. There, as in a retrospective arrangement, a mirror within a
[19370]    mirror (hey, presto!), he beholdeth himself. That young figure of then is
[19371]    seen, precociously manly, walking on a nipping morning from the old house
[19372]    in Clanbrassil street to the high school, his booksatchel on him
[19373]    bandolierwise, and in it a goodly hunk of wheaten loaf, a mother's
[19374]    thought. Or it is the same figure, a year or so gone over, in his first
[19375]    hard hat (ah, that was a day!), already on the road, a fullfledged
[19376]    traveller for the family firm, equipped with an orderbook, a scented
[19377]    handkerchief (not for show only), his case of bright trinketware (alas! a
[19378]    thing now of the past!) and a quiverful of compliant smiles for this or
[19379]    that halfwon housewife reckoning it out upon her fingertips or for a
[19380]    budding virgin, shyly acknowledging (but the heart? tell me!) his studied
[19381]    baisemoins. The scent, the smile, but, more than these, the dark eyes and
[19382]    oleaginous address, brought home at duskfall many a commission to the
[19383]    head of the firm, seated with Jacob's pipe after like labours in the
[19384]    paternal ingle (a meal of noodles, you may be sure, is aheating), reading
[19385]    through round horned spectacles some paper from the Europe of a month
[19386]    before. But hey, presto, the mirror is breathed on and the young
[19387]    knighterrant recedes, shrivels, dwindles to a tiny speck within the mist.
[19388]    Now he is himself paternal and these about him might be his sons. Who can
[19389]    say? The wise father knows his own child. He thinks of a drizzling night
[19390]    in Hatch street, hard by the bonded stores there, the first. Together
[19391]    (she is a poor waif, a child of shame, yours and mine and of all for a
[19392]    bare shilling and her luckpenny), together they hear the heavy tread of
[19393]    the watch as two raincaped shadows pass the new royal university. Bridie!
[19394]    Bridie Kelly! He will never forget the name, ever remember the night:
[19395]    first night, the bridenight. They are entwined in nethermost darkness,
[19396]    the willer with the willed, and in an instant (FIAT!) light shall flood
[19397]    the world. Did heart leap to heart? Nay, fair reader. In a breath 'twas
[19398]    done but--hold! Back! It must not be! In terror the poor girl flees away
[19399]    through the murk. She is the bride of darkness, a daughter of night. She
[19400]    dare not bear the sunnygolden babe of day. No, Leopold. Name and memory
[19401]    solace thee not. That youthful illusion of thy strength was taken from
[19402]    thee--and in vain. No son of thy loins is by thee. There is none now to
[19403]    be for Leopold, what Leopold was for Rudolph.
[19404]    
[19405]    The voices blend and fuse in clouded silence: silence that is the
[19406]    infinite of space: and swiftly, silently the soul is wafted over regions
[19407]    of cycles of generations that have lived. A region where grey twilight
[19408]    ever descends, never falls on wide sagegreen pasturefields, shedding her
[19409]    dusk, scattering a perennial dew of stars. She follows her mother with
[19410]    ungainly steps, a mare leading her fillyfoal. Twilight phantoms are they,
[19411]    yet moulded in prophetic grace of structure, slim shapely haunches, a
[19412]    supple tendonous neck, the meek apprehensive skull. They fade, sad
[19413]    phantoms: all is gone. Agendath is a waste land, a home of screechowls
[19414]    and the sandblind upupa. Netaim, the golden, is no more. And on the
[19415]    highway of the clouds they come, muttering thunder of rebellion, the
[19416]    ghosts of beasts. Huuh! Hark! Huuh! Parallax stalks behind and goads
[19417]    them, the lancinating lightnings of whose brow are scorpions. Elk and
[19418]    yak, the bulls of Bashan and of Babylon, mammoth and mastodon, they come
[19419]    trooping to the sunken sea, LACUS MORTIS. Ominous revengeful zodiacal
[19420]    host! They moan, passing upon the clouds, horned and capricorned, the
[19421]    trumpeted with the tusked, the lionmaned, the giantantlered, snouter and
[19422]    crawler, rodent, ruminant and pachyderm, all their moving moaning
[19423]    multitude, murderers of the sun.
[19424]    
[19425]    Onward to the dead sea they tramp to drink, unslaked and with horrible
[19426]    gulpings, the salt somnolent inexhaustible flood. And the equine portent
[19427]    grows again, magnified in the deserted heavens, nay to heaven's own
[19428]    magnitude, till it looms, vast, over the house of Virgo. And lo, wonder
[19429]    of metempsychosis, it is she, the everlasting bride, harbinger of the
[19430]    daystar, the bride, ever virgin. It is she, Martha, thou lost one,
[19431]    Millicent, the young, the dear, the radiant. How serene does she now
[19432]    arise, a queen among the Pleiades, in the penultimate antelucan hour,
[19433]    shod in sandals of bright gold, coifed with a veil of what do you call it
[19434]    gossamer. It floats, it flows about her starborn flesh and loose it
[19435]    streams, emerald, sapphire, mauve and heliotrope, sustained on currents
[19436]    of the cold interstellar wind, winding, coiling, simply swirling,
[19437]    writhing in the skies a mysterious writing till, after a myriad
[19438]    metamorphoses of symbol, it blazes, Alpha, a ruby and triangled sign upon
[19439]    the forehead of Taurus.
[19440]    
[19441]    Francis was reminding Stephen of years before when they had been at
[19442]    school together in Conmee's time. He asked about Glaucon, Alcibiades,
[19443]    Pisistratus. Where were they now? Neither knew. You have spoken of the
[19444]    past and its phantoms, Stephen said. Why think of them? If I call them
[19445]    into life across the waters of Lethe will not the poor ghosts troop to my
[19446]    call? Who supposes it? I, Bous Stephanoumenos, bullockbefriending bard,
[19447]    am lord and giver of their life. He encircled his gadding hair with a
[19448]    coronal of vineleaves, smiling at Vincent. That answer and those leaves,
[19449]    Vincent said to him, will adorn you more fitly when something more, and
[19450]    greatly more, than a capful of light odes can call your genius father.
[19451]    All who wish you well hope this for you. All desire to see you bring
[19452]    forth the work you meditate, to acclaim you Stephaneforos. I heartily
[19453]    wish you may not fail them. O no, Vincent Lenehan said, laying a hand on
[19454]    the shoulder near him. Have no fear. He could not leave his mother an
[19455]    orphan. The young man's face grew dark. All could see how hard it was for
[19456]    him to be reminded of his promise and of his recent loss. He would have
[19457]    withdrawn from the feast had not the noise of voices allayed the smart.
[19458]    Madden had lost five drachmas on Sceptre for a whim of the rider's name:
[19459]    Lenehan as much more. He told them of the race. The flag fell and, huuh!
[19460]    off, scamper, the mare ran out freshly with O. Madden up. She was leading
[19461]    the field. All hearts were beating. Even Phyllis could not contain
[19462]    herself. She waved her scarf and cried: Huzzah! Sceptre wins! But in the
[19463]    straight on the run home when all were in close order the dark horse
[19464]    Throwaway drew level, reached, outstripped her. All was lost now. Phyllis
[19465]    was silent: her eyes were sad anemones. Juno, she cried, I am undone. But
[19466]    her lover consoled her and brought her a bright casket of gold in which
[19467]    lay some oval sugarplums which she partook. A tear fell: one only. A
[19468]    whacking fine whip, said Lenehan, is W. Lane. Four winners yesterday and
[19469]    three today. What rider is like him? Mount him on the camel or the
[19470]    boisterous buffalo the victory in a hack canter is still his. But let us
[19471]    bear it as was the ancient wont. Mercy on the luckless! Poor Sceptre! he
[19472]    said with a light sigh. She is not the filly that she was. Never, by this
[19473]    hand, shall we behold such another. By gad, sir, a queen of them. Do you
[19474]    remember her, Vincent? I wish you could have seen my queen today, Vincent
[19475]    said. How young she was and radiant (Lalage were scarce fair beside her)
[19476]    in her yellow shoes and frock of muslin, I do not know the right name of
[19477]    it. The chestnuts that shaded us were in bloom: the air drooped with
[19478]    their persuasive odour and with pollen floating by us. In the sunny
[19479]    patches one might easily have cooked on a stone a batch of those buns
[19480]    with Corinth fruit in them that Periplipomenes sells in his booth near
[19481]    the bridge. But she had nought for her teeth but the arm with which I
[19482]    held her and in that she nibbled mischievously when I pressed too close.
[19483]    A week ago she lay ill, four days on the couch, but today she was free,
[19484]    blithe, mocked at peril. She is more taking then. Her posies tool Mad
[19485]    romp that she is, she had pulled her fill as we reclined together. And in
[19486]    your ear, my friend, you will not think who met us as we left the field.
[19487]    Conmee himself! He was walking by the hedge, reading, I think a brevier
[19488]    book with, I doubt not, a witty letter in it from Glycera or Chloe to
[19489]    keep the page. The sweet creature turned all colours in her confusion,
[19490]    feigning to reprove a slight disorder in her dress: a slip of underwood
[19491]    clung there for the very trees adore her. When Conmee had passed she
[19492]    glanced at her lovely echo in that little mirror she carries. But he had
[19493]    been kind. In going by he had blessed us. The gods too are ever kind,
[19494]    Lenehan said. If I had poor luck with Bass's mare perhaps this draught of
[19495]    his may serve me more propensely. He was laying his hand upon a winejar:
[19496]    Malachi saw it and withheld his act, pointing to the stranger and to the
[19497]    scarlet label. Warily, Malachi whispered, preserve a druid silence. His
[19498]    soul is far away. It is as painful perhaps to be awakened from a vision
[19499]    as to be born. Any object, intensely regarded, may be a gate of access to
[19500]    the incorruptible eon of the gods. Do you not think it, Stephen?
[19501]    Theosophos told me so, Stephen answered, whom in a previous existence
[19502]    Egyptian priests initiated into the mysteries of karmic law. The lords of
[19503]    the moon, Theosophos told me, an orangefiery shipload from planet Alpha
[19504]    of the lunar chain would not assume the etheric doubles and these were
[19505]    therefore incarnated by the rubycoloured egos from the second
[19506]    constellation.
[19507]    
[19508]    However, as a matter of fact though, the preposterous surmise about him
[19509]    being in some description of a doldrums or other or mesmerised which was.
[19510]    entirely due to a misconception of the shallowest character, was not the
[19511]    case at all. The individual whose visual organs while the above was going
[19512]    on were at this juncture commencing to exhibit symptoms of animation was
[19513]    as astute if not astuter than any man living and anybody that conjectured
[19514]    the contrary would have found themselves pretty speedily in the wrong
[19515]    shop. During the past four minutes or thereabouts he had been staring
[19516]    hard at a certain amount of number one Bass bottled by Messrs Bass and Co
[19517]    at Burton-on-Trent which happened to be situated amongst a lot of others
[19518]    right opposite to where he was and which was certainly calculated to
[19519]    attract anyone's remark on account of its scarlet appearance. He was
[19520]    simply and solely, as it subsequently transpired for reasons best known
[19521]    to himself, which put quite an altogether different complexion on the
[19522]    proceedings, after the moment before's observations about boyhood days
[19523]    and the turf, recollecting two or three private transactions of his own
[19524]    which the other two were as mutually innocent of as the babe unborn.
[19525]    Eventually, however, both their eyes met and as soon as it began to dawn
[19526]    on him that the other was endeavouring to help himself to the thing he
[19527]    involuntarily determined to help him himself and so he accordingly took
[19528]    hold of the neck of the mediumsized glass recipient which contained the
[19529]    fluid sought after and made a capacious hole in it by pouring a lot of it
[19530]    out with, also at the same time, however, a considerable degree of
[19531]    attentiveness in order not to upset any of the beer that was in it about
[19532]    the place.
[19533]    
[19534]    The debate which ensued was in its scope and progress an epitome of the
[19535]    course of life. Neither place nor council was lacking in dignity. The
[19536]    debaters were the keenest in the land, the theme they were engaged on the
[19537]    loftiest and most vital. The high hall of Horne's house had never beheld
[19538]    an assembly so representative and so varied nor had the old rafters of
[19539]    that establishment ever listened to a language so encyclopaedic. A
[19540]    gallant scene in truth it made. Crotthers was there at the foot of the
[19541]    table in his striking Highland garb, his face glowing from the briny airs
[19542]    of the Mull of Galloway. There too, opposite to him, was Lynch whose
[19543]    countenance bore already the stigmata of early depravity and premature
[19544]    wisdom. Next the Scotchman was the place assigned to Costello, the
[19545]    eccentric, while at his side was seated in stolid repose the squat form
[19546]    of Madden. The chair of the resident indeed stood vacant before the
[19547]    hearth but on either flank of it the figure of Bannon in explorer's kit
[19548]    of tweed shorts and salted cowhide brogues contrasted sharply with the
[19549]    primrose elegance and townbred manners of Malachi Roland St John
[19550]    Mulligan. Lastly at the head of the board was the young poet who found a
[19551]    refuge from his labours of pedagogy and metaphysical inquisition in the
[19552]    convivial atmosphere of Socratic discussion, while to right and left of
[19553]    him were accommodated the flippant prognosticator, fresh from the
[19554]    hippodrome, and that vigilant wanderer, soiled by the dust of travel and
[19555]    combat and stained by the mire of an indelible dishonour, but from whose
[19556]    steadfast and constant heart no lure or peril or threat or degradation
[19557]    could ever efface the image of that voluptuous loveliness which the
[19558]    inspired pencil of Lafayette has limned for ages yet to come.
[19559]    
[19560]    It had better be stated here and now at the outset that the perverted
[19561]    transcendentalism to which Mr S. Dedalus' (Div. Scep.) contentions would
[19562]    appear to prove him pretty badly addicted runs directly counter to
[19563]    accepted scientific methods. Science, it cannot be too often repeated,
[19564]    deals with tangible phenomena. The man of science like the man in the
[19565]    street has to face hardheaded facts that cannot be blinked and explain
[19566]    them as best he can. There may be, it is true, some questions which
[19567]    science cannot answer--at present--such as the first problem submitted by
[19568]    Mr L. Bloom (Pubb. Canv.) regarding the future determination of sex. Must
[19569]    we accept the view of Empedocles of Trinacria that the right ovary (the
[19570]    postmenstrual period, assert others) is responsible for the birth of
[19571]    males or are the too long neglected spermatozoa or nemasperms the
[19572]    differentiating factors or is it, as most embryologists incline to opine,
[19573]    such as Culpepper, Spallanzani, Blumenbach, Lusk, Hertwig, Leopold and
[19574]    Valenti, a mixture of both? This would be tantamount to a cooperation
[19575]    (one of nature's favourite devices) between the NISUS FORMATIVUS of the
[19576]    nemasperm on the one hand and on the other a happily chosen position,
[19577]    SUCCUBITUS FELIX of the passive element. The other problem raised by the
[19578]    same inquirer is scarcely less vital: infant mortality. It is interesting
[19579]    because, as he pertinently remarks, we are all born in the same way but
[19580]    we all die in different ways. Mr M. Mulligan (Hyg. et Eug. Doc.) blames
[19581]    the sanitary conditions in which our greylunged citizens contract
[19582]    adenoids, pulmonary complaints etc. by inhaling the bacteria which lurk
[19583]    in dust. These factors, he alleged, and the revolting spectacles offered
[19584]    by our streets, hideous publicity posters, religious ministers of all
[19585]    denominations, mutilated soldiers and sailors, exposed scorbutic
[19586]    cardrivers, the suspended carcases of dead animals, paranoic bachelors
[19587]    and unfructified duennas--these, he said, were accountable for any and
[19588]    every fallingoff in the calibre of the race. Kalipedia, he prophesied,
[19589]    would soon be generally adopted and all the graces of life, genuinely
[19590]    good music, agreeable literature, light philosophy, instructive pictures,
[19591]    plastercast reproductions of the classical statues such as Venus and
[19592]    Apollo, artistic coloured photographs of prize babies, all these little
[19593]    attentions would enable ladies who were in a particular condition to pass
[19594]    the intervening months in a most enjoyable manner. Mr J. Crotthers (Disc.
[19595]    Bacc.) attributes some of these demises to abdominal trauma in the case
[19596]    of women workers subjected to heavy labours in the workshop and to
[19597]    marital discipline in the home but by far the vast majority to neglect,
[19598]    private or official, culminating in the exposure of newborn infants, the
[19599]    practice of criminal abortion or in the atrocious crime of infanticide.
[19600]    Although the former (we are thinking of neglect) is undoubtedly only too
[19601]    true the case he cites of nurses forgetting to count the sponges in the
[19602]    peritoneal cavity is too rare to be normative. In fact when one comes to
[19603]    look into it the wonder is that so many pregnancies and deliveries go off
[19604]    so well as they do, all things considered and in spite of our human
[19605]    shortcomings which often baulk nature in her intentions. An ingenious
[19606]    suggestion is that thrown out by Mr V. Lynch (Bacc. Arith.) that both
[19607]    natality and mortality, as well as all other phenomena of evolution,
[19608]    tidal movements, lunar phases, blood temperatures, diseases in general,
[19609]    everything, in fine, in nature's vast workshop from the extinction of
[19610]    some remote sun to the blossoming of one of the countless flowers which
[19611]    beautify our public parks is subject to a law of numeration as yet
[19612]    unascertained. Still the plain straightforward question why a child of
[19613]    normally healthy parents and seemingly a healthy child and properly
[19614]    looked after succumbs unaccountably in early childhood (though other
[19615]    children of the same marriage do not) must certainly, in the poet's
[19616]    words, give us pause. Nature, we may rest assured, has her own good and
[19617]    cogent reasons for whatever she does and in all probability such deaths
[19618]    are due to some law of anticipation by which organisms in which morbous
[19619]    germs have taken up their residence (modern science has conclusively
[19620]    shown that only the plasmic substance can be said to be immortal) tend to
[19621]    disappear at an increasingly earlier stage of development, an arrangement
[19622]    which, though productive of pain to some of our feelings (notably the
[19623]    maternal), is nevertheless, some of us think, in the long run beneficial
[19624]    to the race in general in securing thereby the survival of the fittest.
[19625]    Mr S. Dedalus' (Div. Scep.) remark (or should it be called an
[19626]    interruption?) that an omnivorous being which can masticate, deglute,
[19627]    digest and apparently pass through the ordinary channel with
[19628]    pluterperfect imperturbability such multifarious aliments as cancrenous
[19629]    females emaciated by parturition, corpulent professional gentlemen, not
[19630]    to speak of jaundiced politicians and chlorotic nuns, might possibly find
[19631]    gastric relief in an innocent collation of staggering bob, reveals as
[19632]    nought else could and in a very unsavoury light the tendency above
[19633]    alluded to. For the enlightenment of those who are not so intimately
[19634]    acquainted with the minutiae of the municipal abattoir as this
[19635]    morbidminded esthete and embryo philosopher who for all his overweening
[19636]    bumptiousness in things scientific can scarcely distinguish an acid from
[19637]    an alkali prides himself on being, it should perhaps be stated that
[19638]    staggering bob in the vile parlance of our lowerclass licensed
[19639]    victuallers signifies the cookable and eatable flesh of a calf newly
[19640]    dropped from its mother. In a recent public controversy with Mr L. Bloom
[19641]    (Pubb. Canv.) which took place in the commons' hall of the National
[19642]    Maternity Hospital, 29, 30 and 31 Holles street, of which, as is well
[19643]    known, Dr A. Horne (Lic. in Midw., F. K. Q. C. P. I.) is the able and
[19644]    popular master, he is reported by eyewitnesses as having stated that once
[19645]    a woman has let the cat into the bag (an esthete's allusion, presumably,
[19646]    to one of the most complicated and marvellous of all nature's processes--
[19647]    the act of sexual congress) she must let it out again or give it life, as
[19648]    he phrased it, to save her own. At the risk of her own, was the telling
[19649]    rejoinder of his interlocutor, none the less effective for the moderate
[19650]    and measured tone in which it was delivered.
[19651]    
[19652]    Meanwhile the skill and patience of the physician had brought about a
[19653]    happy ACCOUCHEMENT. It had been a weary weary while both for patient and
[19654]    doctor. All that surgical skill could do was done and the brave woman had
[19655]    manfully helped. She had. She had fought the good fight and now she was
[19656]    very very happy. Those who have passed on, who have gone before, are
[19657]    happy too as they gaze down and smile upon the touching scene. Reverently
[19658]    look at her as she reclines there with the motherlight in her eyes, that
[19659]    longing hunger for baby fingers (a pretty sight it is to see), in the
[19660]    first bloom of her new motherhood, breathing a silent prayer of
[19661]    thanksgiving to One above, the Universal Husband. And as her loving eyes
[19662]    behold her babe she wishes only one blessing more, to have her dear Doady
[19663]    there with her to share her joy, to lay in his arms that mite of God's
[19664]    clay, the fruit of their lawful embraces. He is older now (you and I may
[19665]    whisper it) and a trifle stooped in the shoulders yet in the whirligig of
[19666]    years a grave dignity has come to the conscientious second accountant of
[19667]    the Ulster bank, College Green branch. O Doady, loved one of old,
[19668]    faithful lifemate now, it may never be again, that faroff time of the
[19669]    roses! With the old shake of her pretty head she recalls those days. God!
[19670]    How beautiful now across the mist of years! But their children are
[19671]    grouped in her imagination about the bedside, hers and his, Charley, Mary
[19672]    Alice, Frederick Albert (if he had lived), Mamy, Budgy (Victoria
[19673]    Frances), Tom, Violet Constance Louisa, darling little Bobsy (called
[19674]    after our famous hero of the South African war, lord Bobs of Waterford
[19675]    and Candahar) and now this last pledge of their union, a Purefoy if ever
[19676]    there was one, with the true Purefoy nose. Young hopeful will be
[19677]    christened Mortimer Edward after the influential third cousin of Mr
[19678]    Purefoy in the Treasury Remembrancer's office, Dublin Castle. And so time
[19679]    wags on: but father Cronion has dealt lightly here. No, let no sigh break
[19680]    from that bosom, dear gentle Mina. And Doady, knock the ashes from your
[19681]    pipe, the seasoned briar you still fancy when the curfew rings for you
[19682]    (may it be the distant day!) and dout the light whereby you read in the
[19683]    Sacred Book for the oil too has run low, and so with a tranquil heart to
[19684]    bed, to rest. He knows and will call in His own good time. You too have
[19685]    fought the good fight and played loyally your man's part. Sir, to you my
[19686]    hand. Well done, thou good and faithful servant!
[19687]    
[19688]    There are sins or (let us call them as the world calls them) evil
[19689]    memories which are hidden away by man in the darkest places of the heart
[19690]    but they abide there and wait. He may suffer their memory to grow dim,
[19691]    let them be as though they had not been and all but persuade himself that
[19692]    they were not or at least were otherwise. Yet a chance word will call
[19693]    them forth suddenly and they will rise up to confront him in the most
[19694]    various circumstances, a vision or a dream, or while timbrel and harp
[19695]    soothe his senses or amid the cool silver tranquility of the evening or
[19696]    at the feast, at midnight, when he is now filled with wine. Not to insult
[19697]    over him will the vision come as over one that lies under her wrath, not
[19698]    for vengeance to cut him off from the living but shrouded in the piteous
[19699]    vesture of the past, silent, remote, reproachful.
[19700]    
[19701]    The stranger still regarded on the face before him a slow recession of
[19702]    that false calm there, imposed, as it seemed, by habit or some studied
[19703]    trick, upon words so embittered as to accuse in their speaker an
[19704]    unhealthiness, a FLAIR, for the cruder things of life. A scene disengages
[19705]    itself in the observer's memory, evoked, it would seem, by a word of so
[19706]    natural a homeliness as if those days were really present there (as some
[19707]    thought) with their immediate pleasures. A shaven space of lawn one soft
[19708]    May evening, the wellremembered grove of lilacs at Roundtown, purple and
[19709]    white, fragrant slender spectators of the game but with much real
[19710]    interest in the pellets as they run slowly forward over the sward or
[19711]    collide and stop, one by its fellow, with a brief alert shock. And yonder
[19712]    about that grey urn where the water moves at times in thoughtful
[19713]    irrigation you saw another as fragrant sisterhood, Floey, Atty, Tiny and
[19714]    their darker friend with I know not what of arresting in her pose then,
[19715]    Our Lady of the Cherries, a comely brace of them pendent from an ear,
[19716]    bringing out the foreign warmth of the skin so daintily against the cool
[19717]    ardent fruit. A lad of four or five in linseywoolsey (blossomtime but
[19718]    there will be cheer in the kindly hearth when ere long the bowls are
[19719]    gathered and hutched) is standing on the urn secured by that circle of
[19720]    girlish fond hands. He frowns a little just as this young man does now
[19721]    with a perhaps too conscious enjoyment of the danger but must needs
[19722]    glance at whiles towards where his mother watches from the PIAZZETTA
[19723]    giving upon the flowerclose with a faint shadow of remoteness or of
[19724]    reproach (ALLES VERGANGLICHE) in her glad look.
[19725]    
[19726]    Mark this farther and remember. The end comes suddenly. Enter that
[19727]    antechamber of birth where the studious are assembled and note their
[19728]    faces. Nothing, as it seems, there of rash or violent. Quietude of
[19729]    custody, rather, befitting their station in that house, the vigilant
[19730]    watch of shepherds and of angels about a crib in Bethlehem of Juda long
[19731]    ago. But as before the lightning the serried stormclouds, heavy with
[19732]    preponderant excess of moisture, in swollen masses turgidly distended,
[19733]    compass earth and sky in one vast slumber, impending above parched field
[19734]    and drowsy oxen and blighted growth of shrub and verdure till in an
[19735]    instant a flash rives their centres and with the reverberation of the
[19736]    thunder the cloudburst pours its torrent, so and not otherwise was the
[19737]    transformation, violent and instantaneous, upon the utterance of the
[19738]    word.
[19739]    
[19740]    Burke's! outflings my lord Stephen, giving the cry, and a tag and bobtail
[19741]    of all them after, cockerel, jackanapes, welsher, pilldoctor, punctual
[19742]    Bloom at heels with a universal grabbing at headgear, ashplants, bilbos,
[19743]    Panama hats and scabbards, Zermatt alpenstocks and what not. A dedale of
[19744]    lusty youth, noble every student there. Nurse Callan taken aback in the
[19745]    hallway cannot stay them nor smiling surgeon coming downstairs with news
[19746]    of placentation ended, a full pound if a milligramme. They hark him on.
[19747]    The door! It is open? Ha! They are out, tumultuously, off for a minute's
[19748]    race, all bravely legging it, Burke's of Denzille and Holles their
[19749]    ulterior goal. Dixon follows giving them sharp language but raps out an
[19750]    oath, he too, and on. Bloom stays with nurse a thought to send a kind
[19751]    word to happy mother and nurseling up there. Doctor Diet and Doctor
[19752]    Quiet. Looks she too not other now? Ward of watching in Horne's house has
[19753]    told its tale in that washedout pallor. Then all being gone, a glance of
[19754]    motherwit helping, he whispers close in going: Madam, when comes the
[19755]    storkbird for thee?
[19756]    
[19757]    The air without is impregnated with raindew moisture, life essence
[19758]    celestial, glistening on Dublin stone there under starshiny COELUM. God's
[19759]    air, the Allfather's air, scintillant circumambient cessile air. Breathe
[19760]    it deep into thee. By heaven, Theodore Purefoy, thou hast done a doughty
[19761]    deed and no botch! Thou art, I vow, the remarkablest progenitor barring
[19762]    none in this chaffering allincluding most farraginous chronicle.
[19763]    Astounding! In her lay a Godframed Godgiven preformed possibility which
[19764]    thou hast fructified with thy modicum of man's work. Cleave to her!
[19765]    Serve! Toil on, labour like a very bandog and let scholarment and all
[19766]    Malthusiasts go hang. Thou art all their daddies, Theodore. Art drooping
[19767]    under thy load, bemoiled with butcher's bills at home and ingots (not
[19768]    thine!) in the countinghouse? Head up! For every newbegotten thou shalt
[19769]    gather thy homer of ripe wheat. See, thy fleece is drenched. Dost envy
[19770]    Darby Dullman there with his Joan? A canting jay and a rheumeyed curdog
[19771]    is all their progeny. Pshaw, I tell thee! He is a mule, a dead
[19772]    gasteropod, without vim or stamina, not worth a cracked kreutzer.
[19773]    Copulation without population! No, say I! Herod's slaughter of the
[19774]    innocents were the truer name. Vegetables, forsooth, and sterile
[19775]    cohabitation! Give her beefsteaks, red, raw, bleeding! She is a hoary
[19776]    pandemonium of ills, enlarged glands, mumps, quinsy, bunions, hayfever,
[19777]    bedsores, ringworm, floating kidney, Derbyshire neck, warts, bilious
[19778]    attacks, gallstones, cold feet, varicose veins. A truce to threnes and
[19779]    trentals and jeremies and all such congenital defunctive music! Twenty
[19780]    years of it, regret them not. With thee it was not as with many that will
[19781]    and would and wait and never--do. Thou sawest thy America, thy lifetask,
[19782]    and didst charge to cover like the transpontine bison. How saith
[19783]    Zarathustra? DEINE KUH TRUBSAL MELKEST DU. NUN TRINKST DU DIE SUSSE MILCH
[19784]    DES EUTERS. See! it displodes for thee in abundance. Drink, man, an
[19785]    udderful! Mother's milk, Purefoy, the milk of human kin, milk too of
[19786]    those burgeoning stars overhead rutilant in thin rainvapour, punch milk,
[19787]    such as those rioters will quaff in their guzzling den, milk of madness,
[19788]    the honeymilk of Canaan's land. Thy cow's dug was tough, what? Ay, but
[19789]    her milk is hot and sweet and fattening. No dollop this but thick rich
[19790]    bonnyclaber. To her, old patriarch! Pap! PER DEAM PARTULAM ET PERTUNDAM
[19791]    NUNC EST BIBENDUM!
[19792]    
[19793]    All off for a buster, armstrong, hollering down the street. Bonafides.
[19794]    Where you slep las nigh? Timothy of the battered naggin. Like ole Billyo.
[19795]    Any brollies or gumboots in the fambly? Where the Henry Nevil's sawbones
[19796]    and ole clo? Sorra one o' me knows. Hurrah there, Dix! Forward to the
[19797]    ribbon counter. Where's Punch? All serene. Jay, look at the drunken
[19798]    minister coming out of the maternity hospal! BENEDICAT VOS OMNIPOTENS
[19799]    DEUS, PATER ET FILIUS. A make, mister. The Denzille lane boys. Hell,
[19800]    blast ye! Scoot. Righto, Isaacs, shove em out of the bleeding limelight.
[19801]    Yous join uz, dear sir? No hentrusion in life. Lou heap good man. Allee
[19802]    samee dis bunch. EN AVANT, MES ENFANTS! Fire away number one on the gun.
[19803]    Burke's! Burke's! Thence they advanced five parasangs. Slattery's mounted
[19804]    foot. Where's that bleeding awfur? Parson Steve, apostates' creed! No,
[19805]    no, Mulligan! Abaft there! Shove ahead. Keep a watch on the clock.
[19806]    Chuckingout time. Mullee! What's on you? MA MERE M'A MARIEE. British
[19807]    Beatitudes! RETAMPLATAN DIGIDI BOUMBOUM. Ayes have it. To be printed and
[19808]    bound at the Druiddrum press by two designing females. Calf covers of
[19809]    pissedon green. Last word in art shades. Most beautiful book come out of
[19810]    Ireland my time. SILENTIUM! Get a spurt on. Tention. Proceed to nearest
[19811]    canteen and there annex liquor stores. March! Tramp, tramp, tramp, the
[19812]    boys are (atitudes!) parching. Beer, beef, business, bibles, bulldogs
[19813]    battleships, buggery and bishops. Whether on the scaffold high. Beer,
[19814]    beef, trample the bibles. When for Irelandear. Trample the trampellers.
[19815]    Thunderation! Keep the durned millingtary step. We fall. Bishops
[19816]    boosebox. Halt! Heave to. Rugger. Scrum in. No touch kicking. Wow, my
[19817]    tootsies! You hurt? Most amazingly sorry!
[19818]    
[19819]    Query. Who's astanding this here do? Proud possessor of damnall. Declare
[19820]    misery. Bet to the ropes. Me nantee saltee. Not a red at me this week
[19821]    gone. Yours? Mead of our fathers for the UBERMENSCH. Dittoh. Five number
[19822]    ones. You, sir? Ginger cordial. Chase me, the cabby's caudle. Stimulate
[19823]    the caloric. Winding of his ticker. Stopped short never to go again when
[19824]    the old. Absinthe for me, savvy? CARAMBA! Have an eggnog or a prairie
[19825]    oyster. Enemy? Avuncular's got my timepiece. Ten to. Obligated awful.
[19826]    Don't mention it. Got a pectoral trauma, eh, Dix? Pos fact. Got bet be a
[19827]    boomblebee whenever he wus settin sleepin in hes bit garten. Digs up near
[19828]    the Mater. Buckled he is. Know his dona? Yup, sartin I do. Full of a
[19829]    dure. See her in her dishybilly. Peels off a credit. Lovey lovekin. None
[19830]    of your lean kine, not much. Pull down the blind, love. Two Ardilauns.
[19831]    Same here. Look slippery. If you fall don't wait to get up. Five, seven,
[19832]    nine. Fine! Got a prime pair of mincepies, no kid. And her take me to
[19833]    rests and her anker of rum. Must be seen to be believed. Your starving
[19834]    eyes and allbeplastered neck you stole my heart, O gluepot. Sir? Spud
[19835]    again the rheumatiz? All poppycock, you'll scuse me saying. For the hoi
[19836]    polloi. I vear thee beest a gert vool. Well, doc? Back fro Lapland? Your
[19837]    corporosity sagaciating O K? How's the squaws and papooses? Womanbody
[19838]    after going on the straw? Stand and deliver. Password. There's hair. Ours
[19839]    the white death and the ruddy birth. Hi! Spit in your own eye, boss!
[19840]    Mummer's wire. Cribbed out of Meredith. Jesified, orchidised, polycimical
[19841]    jesuit! Aunty mine's writing Pa Kinch. Baddybad Stephen lead astray
[19842]    goodygood Malachi.
[19843]    
[19844]    Hurroo! Collar the leather, youngun. Roun wi the nappy. Here, Jock braw
[19845]    Hielentman's your barleybree. Lang may your lum reek and your kailpot
[19846]    boil! My tipple. MERCI. Here's to us. How's that? Leg before wicket.
[19847]    Don't stain my brandnew sitinems. Give's a shake of peppe, you there.
[19848]    Catch aholt. Caraway seed to carry away. Twig? Shrieks of silence. Every
[19849]    cove to his gentry mort. Venus Pandemos. LES PETITES FEMMES. Bold bad
[19850]    girl from the town of Mullingar. Tell her I was axing at her. Hauding
[19851]    Sara by the wame. On the road to Malahide. Me? If she who seduced me had
[19852]    left but the name. What do you want for ninepence? Machree, macruiskeen.
[19853]    Smutty Moll for a mattress jig. And a pull all together. EX!
[19854]    
[19855]    Waiting, guvnor? Most deciduously. Bet your boots on. Stunned like,
[19856]    seeing as how no shiners is acoming. Underconstumble? He've got the chink
[19857]    AD LIB. Seed near free poun on un a spell ago a said war hisn. Us come
[19858]    right in on your invite, see? Up to you, matey. Out with the oof. Two bar
[19859]    and a wing. You larn that go off of they there Frenchy bilks? Won't wash
[19860]    here for nuts nohow. Lil chile velly solly. Ise de cutest colour coon
[19861]    down our side. Gawds teruth, Chawley. We are nae fou. We're nae tha fou.
[19862]    Au reservoir, mossoo. Tanks you.
[19863]    
[19864]    'Tis, sure. What say? In the speakeasy. Tight. I shee you, shir. Bantam,
[19865]    two days teetee. Bowsing nowt but claretwine. Garn! Have a glint, do.
[19866]    Gum, I'm jiggered. And been to barber he have. Too full for words. With a
[19867]    railway bloke. How come you so? Opera he'd like? Rose of Castile. Rows of
[19868]    cast. Police! Some H2O for a gent fainted. Look at Bantam's flowers.
[19869]    Gemini. He's going to holler. The colleen bawn. My colleen bawn. O,
[19870]    cheese it! Shut his blurry Dutch oven with a firm hand. Had the winner
[19871]    today till I tipped him a dead cert. The ruffin cly the nab of Stephen
[19872]    Hand as give me the jady coppaleen. He strike a telegramboy paddock wire
[19873]    big bug Bass to the depot. Shove him a joey and grahamise. Mare on form
[19874]    hot order. Guinea to a goosegog. Tell a cram, that. Gospeltrue. Criminal
[19875]    diversion? I think that yes. Sure thing. Land him in chokeechokee if the
[19876]    harman beck copped the game. Madden back Madden's a maddening back. O
[19877]    lust our refuge and our strength. Decamping. Must you go? Off to mammy.
[19878]    Stand by. Hide my blushes someone. All in if he spots me. Come ahome, our
[19879]    Bantam. Horryvar, mong vioo. Dinna forget the cowslips for hersel.
[19880]    Cornfide. Wha gev ye thon colt? Pal to pal. Jannock. Of John Thomas, her
[19881]    spouse. No fake, old man Leo. S'elp me, honest injun. Shiver my timbers
[19882]    if I had. There's a great big holy friar. Vyfor you no me tell? Vel, I
[19883]    ses, if that aint a sheeny nachez, vel, I vil get misha mishinnah.
[19884]    Through yerd our lord, Amen.
[19885]    
[19886]    You move a motion? Steve boy, you're going it some. More bluggy
[19887]    drunkables? Will immensely splendiferous stander permit one stooder of
[19888]    most extreme poverty and one largesize grandacious thirst to terminate
[19889]    one expensive inaugurated libation? Give's a breather. Landlord,
[19890]    landlord, have you good wine, staboo? Hoots, mon, a wee drap to pree. Cut
[19891]    and come again. Right. Boniface! Absinthe the lot. NOS OMNES BIBERIMUS
[19892]    VIRIDUM TOXICUM DIABOLUS CAPIAT POSTERIORIA NOSTRIA. Closingtime, gents.
[19893]    Eh? Rome boose for the Bloom toff. I hear you say onions? Bloo? Cadges
[19894]    ads. Photo's papli, by all that's gorgeous. Play low, pardner. Slide.
[19895]    BONSOIR LA COMPAGNIE. And snares of the poxfiend. Where's the buck and
[19896]    Namby Amby? Skunked? Leg bail. Aweel, ye maun e'en gang yer gates.
[19897]    Checkmate. King to tower. Kind Kristyann wil yu help yung man hoose frend
[19898]    tuk bungellow kee tu find plais whear tu lay crown of his hed 2 night.
[19899]    Crickey, I'm about sprung. Tarnally dog gone my shins if this beent the
[19900]    bestest puttiest longbreak yet. Item, curate, couple of cookies for this
[19901]    child. Cot's plood and prandypalls, none! Not a pite of sheeses? Thrust
[19902]    syphilis down to hell and with him those other licensed spirits. Time,
[19903]    gents! Who wander through the world. Health all! A LA VOTRE!
[19904]    
[19905]    Golly, whatten tunket's yon guy in the mackintosh? Dusty Rhodes. Peep at
[19906]    his wearables. By mighty! What's he got? Jubilee mutton. Bovril, by
[19907]    James. Wants it real bad. D'ye ken bare socks? Seedy cuss in the
[19908]    Richmond? Rawthere! Thought he had a deposit of lead in his penis.
[19909]    Trumpery insanity. Bartle the Bread we calls him. That, sir, was once a
[19910]    prosperous cit. Man all tattered and torn that married a maiden all
[19911]    forlorn. Slung her hook, she did. Here see lost love. Walking Mackintosh
[19912]    of lonely canyon. Tuck and turn in. Schedule time. Nix for the hornies.
[19913]    Pardon? Seen him today at a runefal? Chum o' yourn passed in his checks?
[19914]    Ludamassy! Pore piccaninnies! Thou'll no be telling me thot, Pold veg!
[19915]    Did ums blubble bigsplash crytears cos fren Padney was took off in black
[19916]    bag? Of all de darkies Massa Pat was verra best. I never see the like
[19917]    since I was born. TIENS, TIENS, but it is well sad, that, my faith, yes.
[19918]    O, get, rev on a gradient one in nine. Live axle drives are souped. Lay
[19919]    you two to one Jenatzy licks him ruddy well hollow. Jappies? High angle
[19920]    fire, inyah! Sunk by war specials. Be worse for him, says he, nor any
[19921]    Rooshian. Time all. There's eleven of them. Get ye gone. Forward, woozy
[19922]    wobblers! Night. Night. May Allah the Excellent One your soul this night
[19923]    ever tremendously conserve.
[19924]    
[19925]    Your attention! We're nae tha fou. The Leith police dismisseth us. The
[19926]    least tholice. Ware hawks for the chap