Ulysses by James Joyce
Circe

Leopold Bloom Telemachus
Nestor
Proteus
Calypso
Lotus-Eaters
Hades
Aeolus
Lestrygonians
Scylla and Charybdis
Wandering Rocks
Sirens
Cyclops
Nausicaa
Oxen of the Sun
Circe
Eumeus
Ithaca
Penelope

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Ulysses by James Joyce.
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[19956]    
[19957]    
[19958]    THE MABBOT STREET ENTRANCE OF NIGHTTOWN, BEFORE WHICH STRETCHES AN
[19959]    UNCOBBLED TRAMSIDING SET WITH SKELETON TRACKS, RED AND GREEN WILL-O'-THE-
[19960]    WISPS AND DANGER SIGNALS. ROWS OF GRIMY HOUSES WITH GAPING DOORS. RARE
[19961]    LAMPS WITH FAINT RAINBOW FINS. ROUND RABAIOTTI'S HALTED ICE GONDOLA
[19962]    STUNTED MEN AND WOMEN SQUABBLE. THEY GRAB WAFERS BETWEEN WHICH ARE WEDGED
[19963]    LUMPS OF CORAL AND COPPER SNOW. SUCKING, THEY SCATTER SLOWLY. CHILDREN.
[19964]    THE SWANCOMB OF THE GONDOLA, HIGHREARED, FORGES ON THROUGH THE MURK,
[19965]    WHITE AND BLUE UNDER A LIGHTHOUSE. WHISTLES CALL AND ANSWER.
[19966]    
[19967]    THE CALLS: Wait, my love, and I'll be with you.
[19968]    
[19969]    THE ANSWERS: Round behind the stable.
[19970]    
[19971]    (A DEAFMUTE IDIOT WITH GOGGLE EYES, HIS SHAPELESS MOUTH DRIBBLING, JERKS
[19972]    PAST, SHAKEN IN SAINT VITUS' DANCE. A CHAIN OF CHILDREN 'S HANDS
[19973]    IMPRISONS HIM.)
[19974]    
[19975]    THE CHILDREN: Kithogue! Salute!
[19976]    
[19977]    THE IDIOT: (LIFTS A PALSIED LEFT ARM AND GURGLES) Grhahute!
[19978]    
[19979]    THE CHILDREN: Where's the great light?
[19980]    
[19981]    THE IDIOT: (GOBBING) Ghaghahest.
[19982]    
[19983]    (THEY RELEASE HIM. HE JERKS ON. A PIGMY WOMAN SWINGS ON A ROPE SLUNG
[19984]    BETWEEN TWO RAILINGS, COUNTING. A FORM SPRAWLED AGAINST A DUSTBIN AND
[19985]    MUFFLED BY ITS ARM AND HAT SNORES, GROANS, GRINDING GROWLING TEETH, AND
[19986]    SNORES AGAIN. ON A STEP A GNOME TOTTING AMONG A RUBBISHTIP CROUCHES TO
[19987]    SHOULDER A SACK OF RAGS AND BONES. A CRONE STANDING BY WITH A SMOKY
[19988]    OILLAMP RAMS HER LAST BOTTLE IN THE MAW OF HIS SACK. HE HEAVES HIS BOOTY,
[19989]    TUGS ASKEW HIS PEAKED CAP AND HOBBLES OFF MUTELY. THE CRONE MAKES BACK
[19990]    FOR HER LAIR, SWAYING HER LAMP. A BANDY CHILD, ASQUAT ON THE DOORSTEP
[19991]    WITH A PAPER SHUTTLECOCK, CRAWLS SIDLING AFTER HER IN SPURTS, CLUTCHES
[19992]    HER SKIRT, SCRAMBLES UP. A DRUNKEN NAVVY GRIPS WITH BOTH HANDS THE
[19993]    RAILINGS OF AN AREA, LURCHING HEAVILY. AT A COMER TWO NIGHT WATCH IN
[19994]    SHOULDERCAPES, THEIR HANDS UPON THEIR STAFFHOLSTERS, LOOM TALL. A PLATE
[19995]    CRASHES: A WOMAN SCREAMS: A CHILD WAILS. OATHS OF A MAN ROAR, MUTTER,
[19996]    CEASE. FIGURES WANDER, LURK, PEER FROM WARRENS. IN A ROOM LIT BY A CANDLE
[19997]    STUCK IN A BOTTLENECK A SLUT COMBS OUT THE TATTS FROM THE HAIR OF A
[19998]    SCROFULOUS CHILD. CISSY CAFFREY'S VOICE, STILL YOUNG, SINGS SHRILL FROM A
[19999]    LANE.)
[20000]    
[20001]    CISSY CAFFREY:
[20002]    
[20003]    
[20004]        I GAVE IT TO MOLLY
[20005]        BECAUSE SHE WAS JOLLY,
[20006]        THE LEG OF THE DUCK,
[20007]        THE LEG OF THE DUCK.
[20008]    
[20009]    
[20010]    (PRIVATE CARR AND PRIVATE COMPTON, SWAGGERSTICKS TIGHT IN THEIR OXTERS,
[20011]    AS THEY MARCH UNSTEADILY RIGHTABOUTFACE AND BURST TOGETHER FROM THEIR
[20012]    MOUTHS A VOLLEYED FART. LAUGHTER OF MEN FROM THE LANE. A HOARSE VIRAGO
[20013]    RETORTS.)
[20014]    
[20015]    THE VIRAGO: Signs on you, hairy arse. More power the Cavan girl.
[20016]    
[20017]    CISSY CAFFREY: More luck to me. Cavan, Cootehill and Belturbet. (SHE
[20018]    SINGS)
[20019]    
[20020]    
[20021]        I GAVE IT TO NELLY
[20022]        TO STICK IN HER BELLY,
[20023]        THE LEG OF THE DUCK,
[20024]        THE LEG OF THE DUCK.
[20025]    
[20026]    
[20027]    (PRIVATE CARR AND PRIVATE COMPTON TURN AND COUNTERRETORT, THEIR TUNICS
[20028]    BLOODBRIGHT IN A LAMPGLOW, BLACK SOCKETS OF CAPS ON THEIR BLOND CROPPED
[20029]    POLLS. STEPHEN DEDALUS AND LYNCH PASS THROUGH THE CROWD CLOSE TO THE
[20030]    REDCOATS.)
[20031]    
[20032]    PRIVATE COMPTON: (JERKS HIS FINGER) Way for the parson.
[20033]    
[20034]    PRIVATE CARR: (TURNS AND CALLS) What ho, parson!
[20035]    
[20036]    CISSY CAFFREY: (HER VOICE SOARING HIGHER)
[20037]    
[20038]    
[20039]        SHE HAS IT, SHE GOT IT,
[20040]        WHEREVER SHE PUT IT,
[20041]        THE LEG OF THE DUCK.
[20042]    
[20043]    
[20044]    (STEPHEN, FLOURISHING THE ASHPLANT IN HIS LEFT HAND, CHANTS WITH JOY THE
[20045]    INTROIT FOR PASCHAL TIME. LYNCH, HIS JOCKEYCAP LOW ON HIS BROW, ATTENDS
[20046]    HIM, A SNEER OF DISCONTENT WRINKLING HIS FACE.)
[20047]    
[20048]    STEPHEN: VIDI AQUAM EGREDIENTEM DE TEMPLO A LATERE DEXTRO. ALLELUIA.
[20049]    
[20050]    (THE FAMISHED SNAGGLETUSKS OF AN ELDERLY BAWD PROTRUDE FROM A DOORWAY.)
[20051]    
[20052]    THE BAWD: (HER VOICE WHISPERING HUSKILY) Sst! Come here till I tell you.
[20053]    Maidenhead inside. Sst!
[20054]    
[20055]    STEPHEN: (ALTIUS ALIQUANTULUM) ET OMNES AD QUOS PERVENIT AQUA ISTA.
[20056]    
[20057]    THE BAWD: (SPITS IN THEIR TRAIL HER JET OF VENOM) Trinity medicals.
[20058]    Fallopian tube. All prick and no pence.
[20059]    
[20060]    (EDY BOARDMAN, SNIFFLING, CROUCHED WITH BERTHA SUPPLE, DRAWS HER SHAWL
[20061]    ACROSS HER NOSTRILS.)
[20062]    
[20063]    EDY BOARDMAN: (BICKERING) And says the one: I seen you up Faithful place
[20064]    with your squarepusher, the greaser off the railway, in his cometobed
[20065]    hat. Did you, says I. That's not for you to say, says I. You never seen
[20066]    me in the mantrap with a married highlander, says I. The likes of her!
[20067]    Stag that one is! Stubborn as a mule! And her walking with two fellows
[20068]    the one time, Kilbride, the enginedriver, and lancecorporal Oliphant.
[20069]    
[20070]    STEPHEN: (TRIUMPHALITER) SALVI FACTI SUNT.
[20071]    
[20072]    (HE FLOURISHES HIS ASHPLANT, SHIVERING THE LAMP IMAGE, SHATTERING LIGHT
[20073]    OVER THE WORLD. A LIVER AND WHITE SPANIEL ON THE PROWL SLINKS AFTER HIM,
[20074]    GROWLING. LYNCH SCARES IT WITH A KICK.)
[20075]    
[20076]    LYNCH: So that?
[20077]    
[20078]    STEPHEN: (LOOKS BEHIND) So that gesture, not music not odour, would be a
[20079]    universal language, the gift of tongues rendering visible not the lay
[20080]    sense but the first entelechy, the structural rhythm.
[20081]    
[20082]    LYNCH: Pornosophical philotheology. Metaphysics in Mecklenburgh street!
[20083]    
[20084]    STEPHEN: We have shrewridden Shakespeare and henpecked Socrates. Even the
[20085]    allwisest Stagyrite was bitted, bridled and mounted by a light of love.
[20086]    
[20087]    LYNCH: Ba!
[20088]    
[20089]    STEPHEN: Anyway, who wants two gestures to illustrate a loaf and a jug?
[20090]    This movement illustrates the loaf and jug of bread or wine in Omar. Hold
[20091]    my stick.
[20092]    
[20093]    LYNCH: Damn your yellow stick. Where are we going?
[20094]    
[20095]    STEPHEN: Lecherous lynx, TO LA BELLE DAME SANS MERCI, Georgina Johnson,
[20096]    AD DEAM QUI LAETIFICAT IUVENTUTEM MEAM.
[20097]    
[20098]    (STEPHEN THRUSTS THE ASHPLANT ON HIM AND SLOWLY HOLDS OUT HIS HANDS, HIS
[20099]    HEAD GOING BACK TILL BOTH HANDS ARE A SPAN FROM HIS BREAST, DOWN TURNED,
[20100]    IN PLANES INTERSECTING, THE FINGERS ABOUT TO PART, THE LEFT BEING
[20101]    HIGHER.)
[20102]    
[20103]    LYNCH: Which is the jug of bread? It skills not. That or the customhouse.
[20104]    Illustrate thou. Here take your crutch and walk.
[20105]    
[20106]    (THEY PASS. TOMMY CAFFREY SCRAMBLES TO A GASLAMP AND, CLASPING, CLIMBS IN
[20107]    SPASMS. FROM THE TOP SPUR HE SLIDES DOWN. JACKY CAFFREY CLASPS TO CLIMB.
[20108]    THE NAVVY LURCHES AGAINST THE LAMP. THE TWINS SCUTTLE OFF IN THE DARK.
[20109]    THE NAVVY, SWAYING, PRESSES A FOREFINGER AGAINST A WING OF HIS NOSE AND
[20110]    EJECTS FROM THE FARTHER NOSTRIL A LONG LIQUID JET OF SNOT. SHOULDERING
[20111]    THE LAMP HE STAGGERS AWAY THROUGH THE CROWD WITH HIS FLARING CRESSET.
[20112]    
[20113]    SNAKES OF RIVER FOG CREEP SLOWLY. FROM DRAINS, CLEFTS, CESSPOOLS, MIDDENS
[20114]    ARISE ON ALL SIDES STAGNANT FUMES. A GLOW LEAPS IN THE SOUTH BEYOND THE
[20115]    SEAWARD REACHES OF THE RIVER. THE NAVVY, STAGGERING FORWARD, CLEAVES THE
[20116]    CROWD AND LURCHES TOWARDS THE TRAMSIDING ON THE FARTHER SIDE UNDER THE
[20117]    RAILWAY BRIDGE BLOOM APPEARS, FLUSHED, PANTING, CRAMMING BREAD AND
[20118]    CHOCOLATE INTO A SIDEPOCKET. FROM GILLEN'S HAIRDRESSER'S WINDOW A
[20119]    COMPOSITE PORTRAIT SHOWS HIM GALLANT NELSON'S IMAGE. A CONCAVE MIRROR AT
[20120]    THE SIDE PRESENTS TO HIM LOVELORN LONGLOST LUGUBRU BOOLOOHOOM. GRAVE
[20121]    GLADSTONE SEES HIM LEVEL, BLOOM FOR BLOOM. HE PASSES, STRUCK BY THE STARE
[20122]    OF TRUCULENT WELLINGTON, BUT IN THE CONVEX MIRROR GRIN UNSTRUCK THE
[20123]    BONHAM EYES AND FATCHUCK CHEEKCHOPS OF JOLLYPOLDY THE RIXDIX DOLDY.
[20124]    
[20125]    AT ANTONIO PABAIOTTI'S DOOR BLOOM HALTS, SWEATED UNDER THE BRIGHT
[20126]    ARCLAMP. HE DISAPPEARS. IN A MOMENT HE REAPPEARS AND HURRIES ON.)
[20127]    
[20128]    BLOOM: Fish and taters. N. g. Ah!
[20129]    
[20130]    (HE DISAPPEARS INTO OLHAUSEN'S, THE PORKBUTCHER'S, UNDER THE DOWNCOMING
[20131]    ROLLSHUTTER. A FEW MOMENTS LATER HE EMERGES FROM UNDER THE SHUTTER,
[20132]    PUFFING POLDY, BLOWING BLOOHOOM. IN EACH HAND HE HOLDS A PARCEL, ONE
[20133]    CONTAINING A LUKEWARM PIG'S CRUBEEN, THE OTHER A COLD SHEEP'S TROTTER,
[20134]    SPRINKLED WITH WHOLEPEPPER. HE GASPS, STANDING UPRIGHT. THEN BENDING TO
[20135]    ONE SIDE HE PRESSES A PARCEL AGAINST HIS RIBS AND GROANS.)
[20136]    
[20137]    BLOOM: Stitch in my side. Why did I run?
[20138]    
[20139]    (HE TAKES BREATH WITH CARE AND GOES FORWARD SLOWLY TOWARDS THE LAMPSET
[20140]    SIDING. THE GLOW LEAPS AGAIN.)
[20141]    
[20142]    BLOOM: What is that? A flasher? Searchlight.
[20143]    
[20144]    (HE STANDS AT CORMACK'S CORNER, WATCHING)
[20145]    
[20146]    BLOOM: AURORA BOREALIS or a steel foundry? Ah, the brigade, of course.
[20147]    South side anyhow. Big blaze. Might be his house. Beggar's bush. We're
[20148]    safe. (HE HUMS CHEERFULLY) London's burning, London's burning! On fire,
[20149]    on fire! (HE CATCHES SIGHT OF THE NAVVY LURCHING THROUGH THE CROWD AT THE
[20150]    FARTHER SIDE OF TALBOT STREET) I'll miss him. Run. Quick. Better cross
[20151]    here.
[20152]    
[20153]    (HE DARTS TO CROSS THE ROAD. URCHINS SHOUT.)
[20154]    
[20155]    THE URCHINS: Mind out, mister! (TWO CYCLISTS, WITH LIGHTED PAPER LANTERNS
[20156]    ASWING, SWIM BY HIM, GRAZING HIM, THEIR BELLS RATTLING)
[20157]    
[20158]    THE BELLS: Haltyaltyaltyall.
[20159]    
[20160]    BLOOM: (HALTS ERECT, STUNG BY A SPASM) Ow!
[20161]    
[20162]    (HE LOOKS ROUND, DARTS FORWARD SUDDENLY. THROUGH RISING FOG A DRAGON
[20163]    SANDSTREWER, TRAVELLING AT CAUTION, SLEWS HEAVILY DOWN UPON HIM, ITS HUGE
[20164]    RED HEADLIGHT WINKING, ITS TROLLEY HISSING ON THE WIRE. THE MOTORMAN
[20165]    BANGS HIS FOOTGONG.)
[20166]    
[20167]    THE GONG: Bang Bang Bla Bak Blud Bugg Bloo.
[20168]    
[20169]    (THE BRAKE CRACKS VIOLENTLY. BLOOM, RAISING A POLICEMAN'S WHITEGLOVED
[20170]    HAND, BLUNDERS STIFFLEGGED OUT OF THE TRACK. THE MOTORMAN, THROWN
[20171]    FORWARD, PUGNOSED, ON THE GUIDEWHEEL, YELLS AS HE SLIDES PAST OVER CHAINS
[20172]    AND KEYS.)
[20173]    
[20174]    THE MOTORMAN: Hey, shitbreeches, are you doing the hat trick?
[20175]    
[20176]    BLOOM: (BLOOM TRICKLEAPS TO THE CURBSTONE AND HALTS AGAIN. HE BRUSHES A
[20177]    MUDFLAKE FROM HIS CHEEK WITH A PARCELLED HAND.) No thoroughfare. Close
[20178]    shave that but cured the stitch. Must take up Sandow's exercises again.
[20179]    On the hands down. Insure against street accident too. The Providential.
[20180]    (HE FEELS HIS TROUSER POCKET) Poor mamma's panacea. Heel easily catch in
[20181]    track or bootlace in a cog. Day the wheel of the black Maria peeled off
[20182]    my shoe at Leonard's corner. Third time is the charm. Shoe trick.
[20183]    Insolent driver. I ought to report him. Tension makes them nervous. Might
[20184]    be the fellow balked me this morning with that horsey woman. Same style
[20185]    of beauty. Quick of him all the same. The stiff walk. True word spoken in
[20186]    jest. That awful cramp in Lad lane. Something poisonous I ate. Emblem of
[20187]    luck. Why? Probably lost cattle. Mark of the beast. (HE CLOSES HIS EYES
[20188]    AN INSTANT) Bit light in the head. Monthly or effect of the other.
[20189]    Brainfogfag. That tired feeling. Too much for me now. Ow!
[20190]    
[20191]    (A SINISTER FIGURE LEANS ON PLAITED LEGS AGAINST O'BEIRNE'S WALL, A
[20192]    VISAGE UNKNOWN, INJECTED WITH DARK MERCURY. FROM UNDER A WIDELEAVED
[20193]    SOMBRERO THE FIGURE REGARDS HIM WITH EVIL EYE.)
[20194]    
[20195]    BLOOM: BUENAS NOCHES, SENORITA BLANCA. QUE CALLE ES ESTA?
[20196]    
[20197]    THE FIGURE: (IMPASSIVE, RAISES A SIGNAL ARM) Password. SRAID MABBOT.
[20198]    
[20199]    BLOOM: Haha. MERCI. Esperanto. SLAN LEATH. (HE MUTTERS) Gaelic league
[20200]    spy, sent by that fireeater.
[20201]    
[20202]    (HE STEPS FORWARD. A SACKSHOULDERED RAGMAN BARS HIS PATH. HE STEPS LEFT,
[20203]    RAGSACKMAN LEFT.)
[20204]    
[20205]    BLOOM: I beg. (HE SWERVES, SIDLES, STEPASIDE, SLIPS PAST AND ON.)
[20206]    
[20207]    BLOOM: Keep to the right, right, right. If there is a signpost planted by
[20208]    the Touring Club at Stepaside who procured that public boon? I who lost
[20209]    my way and contributed to the columns of the IRISH CYCLIST the letter
[20210]    headed IN DARKEST STEPASIDE. Keep, keep, keep to the right. Rags and
[20211]    bones at midnight. A fence more likely. First place murderer makes for.
[20212]    Wash off his sins of the world.
[20213]    
[20214]    (JACKY CAFFREY, HUNTED BY TOMMY CAFFREY, RUNS FULL TILT AGAINST BLOOM.)
[20215]    
[20216]    BLOOM: O
[20217]    
[20218]    (SHOCKED, ON WEAK HAMS, HE HALTS. TOMMY AND JACKY VANISH THERE, THERE.
[20219]    BLOOM PATS WITH PARCELLED HANDS WATCH FOBPOCKET, BOOKPOCKET, PURSEPOKET,
[20220]    SWEETS OF SIN, POTATO SOAP.)
[20221]    
[20222]    BLOOM: Beware of pickpockets. Old thieves' dodge. Collide. Then snatch
[20223]    your purse.
[20224]    
[20225]    (THE RETRIEVER APPROACHES SNIFFING, NOSE TO THE GROUND. A SPRAWLED FORM
[20226]    SNEEZES. A STOOPED BEARDED FIGURE APPEARS GARBED IN THE LONG CAFTAN OF AN
[20227]    ELDER IN ZION AND A SMOKINGCAP WITH MAGENTA TASSELS. HORNED SPECTACLES
[20228]    HANG DOWN AT THE WINGS OF THE NOSE. YELLOW POISON STREAKS ARE ON THE
[20229]    DRAWN FACE.)
[20230]    
[20231]    RUDOLPH: Second halfcrown waste money today. I told you not go with
[20232]    drunken goy ever. So you catch no money.
[20233]    
[20234]    BLOOM: (HIDES THE CRUBEEN AND TROTTER BEHIND HIS BACK AND, CRESTFALLEN,
[20235]    FEELS WARM AND COLD FEETMEAT) JA, ICH WEISS, PAPACHI.
[20236]    
[20237]    RUDOLPH: What you making down this place? Have you no soul? (WITH FEEBLE
[20238]    VULTURE TALONS HE FEELS THE SILENT FACE OF BLOOM) Are you not my son
[20239]    Leopold, the grandson of Leopold? Are you not my dear son Leopold who
[20240]    left the house of his father and left the god of his fathers Abraham and
[20241]    Jacob?
[20242]    
[20243]    BLOOM: (WITH PRECAUTION) I suppose so, father. Mosenthal. All that's left
[20244]    of him.
[20245]    
[20246]    RUDOLPH: (SEVERELY) One night they bring you home drunk as dog after
[20247]    spend your good money. What you call them running chaps?
[20248]    
[20249]    BLOOM: (IN YOUTH'S SMART BLUE OXFORD SUIT WITH WHITE VESTSLIPS,
[20250]    NARROWSHOULDERED, IN BROWN ALPINE HAT, WEARING GENT'S STERLING SILVER
[20251]    WATERBURY KEYLESS WATCH AND DOUBLE CURB ALBERT WITH SEAL ATTACHED, ONE
[20252]    SIDE OF HIM COATED WITH STIFFENING MUD) Harriers, father. Only that once.
[20253]    
[20254]    RUDOLPH: Once! Mud head to foot. Cut your hand open. Lockjaw. They make
[20255]    you kaputt, Leopoldleben. You watch them chaps.
[20256]    
[20257]    BLOOM: (WEAKLY) They challenged me to a sprint. It was muddy. I slipped.
[20258]    
[20259]    RUDOLPH: (WITH CONTEMPT) GOIM NACHEZ! Nice spectacles for your poor
[20260]    mother!
[20261]    
[20262]    BLOOM: Mamma!
[20263]    
[20264]    ELLEN BLOOM: (IN PANTOMIME DAME'S STRINGED MOBCAP, WIDOW TWANKEY'S
[20265]    CRINOLINE AND BUSTLE, BLOUSE WITH MUTTONLEG SLEEVES BUTTONED BEHIND, GREY
[20266]    MITTENS AND CAMEO BROOCH, HER PLAITED HAIR IN A CRISPINE NET, APPEARS
[20267]    OVER THE STAIRCASE BANISTERS, A SLANTED CANDLESTICK IN HER HAND, AND
[20268]    CRIES OUT IN SHRILL ALARM) O blessed Redeemer, what have they done to
[20269]    him! My smelling salts! (SHE HAULS UP A REEF OF SKIRT AND RANSACKS THE
[20270]    POUCH OF HER STRIPED BLAY PETTICOAT. A PHIAL, AN AGNUS DEI, A SHRIVELLED
[20271]    POTATO AND A CELLULOID DOLL FALL OUT) Sacred Heart of Mary, where were
[20272]    you at all at all?
[20273]    
[20274]    (BLOOM, MUMBLING, HIS EYES DOWNCAST, BEGINS TO BESTOW HIS PARCELS IN HIS
[20275]    FILLED POCKETS BUT DESISTS, MUTTERING.)
[20276]    
[20277]    A VOICE: (SHARPLY) Poldy!
[20278]    
[20279]    BLOOM: Who? (HE DUCKS AND WARDS OFF A BLOW CLUMSILY) At your service.
[20280]    
[20281]    (HE LOOKS UP. BESIDE HER MIRAGE OF DATEPALMS A HANDSOME WOMAN IN TURKISH
[20282]    COSTUME STANDS BEFORE HIM. OPULENT CURVES FILL OUT HER SCARLET TROUSERS
[20283]    AND JACKET, SLASHED WITH GOLD. A WIDE YELLOW CUMMERBUND GIRDLES HER. A
[20284]    WHITE YASHMAK, VIOLET IN THE NIGHT, COVERS HER FACE, LEAVING FREE ONLY
[20285]    HER LARGE DARK EYES AND RAVEN HAIR.)
[20286]    
[20287]    BLOOM: Molly!
[20288]    
[20289]    MARION: Welly? Mrs Marion from this out, my dear man, when you speak to
[20290]    me. (SATIRICALLY) Has poor little hubby cold feet waiting so long?
[20291]    
[20292]    BLOOM: (SHIFTS FROM FOOT TO FOOT) No, no. Not the least little bit.
[20293]    
[20294]    (HE BREATHES IN DEEP AGITATION, SWALLOWING GULPS OF AIR, QUESTIONS,
[20295]    HOPES, CRUBEENS FOR HER SUPPER, THINGS TO TELL HER, EXCUSE, DESIRE,
[20296]    SPELLBOUND. A COIN GLEAMS ON HER FOREHEAD. ON HER FEET ARE JEWELLED
[20297]    TOERINGS. HER ANKLES ARE LINKED BY A SLENDER FETTERCHAIN. BESIDE HER A
[20298]    CAMEL, HOODED WITH A TURRETING TURBAN, WAITS. A SILK LADDER OF
[20299]    INNUMERABLE RUNGS CLIMBS TO HIS BOBBING HOWDAH. HE AMBLES NEAR WITH
[20300]    DISGRUNTLED HINDQUARTERS. FIERCELY SHE SLAPS HIS HAUNCH, HER GOLDCURB
[20301]    WRISTBANGLES ANGRILING, SCOLDING HIM IN MOORISH.)
[20302]    
[20303]    MARION: Nebrakada! Femininum!
[20304]    
[20305]    (THE CAMEL, LIFTING A FORELEG, PLUCKS FROM A TREE A LARGE MANGO FRUIT,
[20306]    OFFERS IT TO HIS MISTRESS, BLINKING, IN HIS CLOVEN HOOF, THEN DROOPS HIS
[20307]    HEAD AND, GRUNTING, WITH UPLIFTED NECK, FUMBLES TO KNEEL. BLOOM STOOPS
[20308]    HIS BACK FOR LEAPFROG.)
[20309]    
[20310]    BLOOM: I can give you ... I mean as your business menagerer ... Mrs
[20311]    Marion ... if you ...
[20312]    
[20313]    MARION: So you notice some change? (HER HANDS PASSING SLOWLY OVER HER
[20314]    TRINKETED STOMACHER, A SLOW FRIENDLY MOCKERY IN HER EYES) O Poldy, Poldy,
[20315]    you are a poor old stick in the mud! Go and see life. See the wide world.
[20316]    
[20317]    BLOOM: I was just going back for that lotion whitewax, orangeflower
[20318]    water. Shop closes early on Thursday. But the first thing in the morning.
[20319]    (HE PATS DIVERS POCKETS) This moving kidney. Ah!
[20320]    
[20321]    (HE POINTS TO THE SOUTH, THEN TO THE EAST. A CAKE OF NEW CLEAN LEMON SOAP
[20322]    ARISES, DIFFUSING LIGHT AND PERFUME.)
[20323]    
[20324]    THE SOAP:
[20325]    
[20326]    
[20327]        We're a capital couple are Bloom and I.
[20328]        He brightens the earth. I polish the sky.
[20329]    
[20330]    
[20331]    (THE FRECKLED FACE OF SWENY, THE DRUGGIST, APPEARS IN THE DISC OF THE
[20332]    SOAPSUN.)
[20333]    
[20334]    SWENY: Three and a penny, please.
[20335]    
[20336]    BLOOM: Yes. For my wife. Mrs Marion. Special recipe.
[20337]    
[20338]    MARION: (SOFTLY) Poldy!
[20339]    
[20340]    BLOOM: Yes, ma'am?
[20341]    
[20342]    MARION: TI TREMA UN POCO IL CUORE?
[20343]    
[20344]    (IN DISDAIN SHE SAUNTERS AWAY, PLUMP AS A PAMPERED POUTER PIGEON, HUMMING
[20345]    THE DUET FROM Don Giovanni.)
[20346]    
[20347]    BLOOM: Are you sure about that VOGLIO? I mean the pronunciati ...
[20348]    
[20349]    (HE FOLLOWS, FOLLOWED BY THE SNIFFING TERRIER. THE ELDERLY BAWD SEIZES
[20350]    HIS SLEEVE, THE BRISTLES OF HER CHINMOLE GLITTERING.)
[20351]    
[20352]    THE BAWD: Ten shillings a maidenhead. Fresh thing was never touched.
[20353]    Fifteen. There's no-one in it only her old father that's dead drunk.
[20354]    
[20355]    (SHE POINTS. IN THE GAP OF HER DARK DEN FURTIVE, RAINBEDRAGGLED, BRIDIE
[20356]    KELLY STANDS.)
[20357]    
[20358]    BRIDIE: Hatch street. Any good in your mind?
[20359]    
[20360]    (WITH A SQUEAK SHE FLAPS HER BAT SHAWL AND RUNS. A BURLY ROUGH PURSUES
[20361]    WITH BOOTED STRIDES. HE STUMBLES ON THE STEPS, RECOVERS, PLUNGES INTO
[20362]    GLOOM. WEAK SQUEAKS OF LAUGHTER ARE HEARD, WEAKER.)
[20363]    
[20364]    THE BAWD: (HER WOLFEYES SHINING) He's getting his pleasure. You won't get
[20365]    a virgin in the flash houses. Ten shillings. Don't be all night before
[20366]    the polis in plain clothes sees us. Sixtyseven is a bitch.
[20367]    
[20368]    (LEERING, GERTY MACDOWELL LIMPS FORWARD. SHE DRAWS FROM BEHIND, OGLING,
[20369]    AND SHOWS COYLY HER BLOODIED CLOUT.)
[20370]    
[20371]    GERTY: With all my worldly goods I thee and thou. (SHE MURMURS) You did
[20372]    that. I hate you.
[20373]    
[20374]    BLOOM: I? When? You're dreaming. I never saw you.
[20375]    
[20376]    THE BAWD: Leave the gentleman alone, you cheat. Writing the gentleman
[20377]    false letters. Streetwalking and soliciting. Better for your mother take
[20378]    the strap to you at the bedpost, hussy like you.
[20379]    
[20380]    GERTY: (TO BLOOM) When you saw all the secrets of my bottom drawer. (SHE
[20381]    PAWS HIS SLEEVE, SLOBBERING) Dirty married man! I love you for doing that
[20382]    to me.
[20383]    
[20384]    (SHE GLIDES AWAY CROOKEDLY. MRS BREEN IN MAN'S FRIEZE OVERCOAT WITH LOOSE
[20385]    BELLOWS POCKETS, STANDS IN THE CAUSEWAY, HER ROGUISH EYES WIDEOPEN,
[20386]    SMILING IN ALL HER HERBIVOROUS BUCKTEETH.)
[20387]    
[20388]    MRS BREEN: Mr ...
[20389]    
[20390]    BLOOM: (COUGHS GRAVELY) Madam, when we last had this pleasure by letter
[20391]    dated the sixteenth instant ...
[20392]    
[20393]    MRS BREEN: Mr Bloom! You down here in the haunts of sin! I caught you
[20394]    nicely! Scamp!
[20395]    
[20396]    BLOOM: (HURRIEDLY) Not so loud my name. Whatever do you think of me?
[20397]    Don't give me away. Walls have ears. How do you do? It's ages since I.
[20398]    You're looking splendid. Absolutely it. Seasonable weather we are having
[20399]    this time of year. Black refracts heat. Short cut home here. Interesting
[20400]    quarter. Rescue of fallen women. Magdalen asylum. I am the secretary ...
[20401]    
[20402]    MRS BREEN: (HOLDS UP A FINGER) Now, don't tell a big fib! I know somebody
[20403]    won't like that. O just wait till I see Molly! (SLILY) Account for
[20404]    yourself this very sminute or woe betide you!
[20405]    
[20406]    BLOOM: (LOOKS BEHIND) She often said she'd like to visit. Slumming. The
[20407]    exotic, you see. Negro servants in livery too if she had money. Othello
[20408]    black brute. Eugene Stratton. Even the bones and cornerman at the
[20409]    Livermore christies. Bohee brothers. Sweep for that matter.
[20410]    
[20411]    (TOM AND SAM BOHEE, COLOURED COONS IN WHITE DUCK SUITS, SCARLET SOCKS,
[20412]    UPSTARCHED SAMBO CHOKERS AND LARGE SCARLET ASTERS IN THEIR BUTTONHOLES,
[20413]    LEAP OUT. EACH HAS HIS BANJO SLUNG. THEIR PALER SMALLER NEGROID HANDS
[20414]    JINGLE THE TWINGTWANG WIRES. FLASHING WHITE KAFFIR EYES AND TUSKS THEY
[20415]    RATTLE THROUGH A BREAKDOWN IN CLUMSY CLOGS, TWINGING, SINGING, BACK TO
[20416]    BACK, TOE HEEL, HEEL TOE, WITH SMACKFATCLACKING NIGGER LIPS.)
[20417]    
[20418]    TOM AND SAM:
[20419]    
[20420]    
[20421]        There's someone in the house with Dina
[20422]        There's someone in the house, I know,
[20423]        There's someone in the house with Dina
[20424]        Playing on the old banjo.
[20425]    
[20426]    
[20427]    (THEY WHISK BLACK MASKS FROM RAW BABBY FACES: THEN, CHUCKLING, CHORTLING,
[20428]    TRUMMING, TWANGING, THEY DIDDLE DIDDLE CAKEWALK DANCE AWAY.)
[20429]    
[20430]    BLOOM: (WITH A SOUR TENDERISH SMILE) A little frivol, shall we, if you
[20431]    are so inclined? Would you like me perhaps to embrace you just for a
[20432]    fraction of a second?
[20433]    
[20434]    MRS BREEN: (SCREAMS GAILY) O, you ruck! You ought to see yourself!
[20435]    
[20436]    BLOOM: For old sake' sake. I only meant a square party, a mixed marriage
[20437]    mingling of our different little conjugials. You know I had a soft corner
[20438]    for you. (GLOOMILY) 'Twas I sent you that valentine of the dear gazelle.
[20439]    
[20440]    MRS BREEN: Glory Alice, you do look a holy show! Killing simply. (SHE
[20441]    PUTS OUT HER HAND INQUISITIVELY) What are you hiding behind your back?
[20442]    Tell us, there's a dear.
[20443]    
[20444]    BLOOM: (SEIZES HER WRIST WITH HIS FREE HAND) Josie Powell that was,
[20445]    prettiest deb in Dublin. How time flies by! Do you remember, harking back
[20446]    in a retrospective arrangement, Old Christmas night, Georgina Simpson's
[20447]    housewarming while they were playing the Irving Bishop game, finding the
[20448]    pin blindfold and thoughtreading? Subject, what is in this snuffbox?
[20449]    
[20450]    MRS BREEN: You were the lion of the night with your seriocomic recitation
[20451]    and you looked the part. You were always a favourite with the ladies.
[20452]    
[20453]    BLOOM: (SQUIRE OF DAMES, IN DINNER JACKET WITH WATEREDSILK FACINGS, BLUE
[20454]    MASONIC BADGE IN HIS BUTTONHOLE, BLACK BOW AND MOTHER-OF-PEARL STUDS, A
[20455]    PRISMATIC CHAMPAGNE GLASS TILTED IN HIS HAND) Ladies and gentlemen, I
[20456]    give you Ireland, home and beauty.
[20457]    
[20458]    MRS BREEN: The dear dead days beyond recall. Love's old sweet song.
[20459]    
[20460]    BLOOM: (MEANINGFULLY DROPPING HIS VOICE) I confess I'm teapot with
[20461]    curiosity to find out whether some person's something is a little teapot
[20462]    at present.
[20463]    
[20464]    MRS BREEN: (GUSHINGLY) Tremendously teapot! London's teapot and I'm
[20465]    simply teapot all over me! (SHE RUBS SIDES WITH HIM) After the parlour
[20466]    mystery games and the crackers from the tree we sat on the staircase
[20467]    ottoman. Under the mistletoe. Two is company.
[20468]    
[20469]    BLOOM: (WEARING A PURPLE NAPOLEON HAT WITH AN AMBER HALFMOON, HIS FINGERS
[20470]    AND THUMB PASSING SLOWLY DOWN TO HER SOFT MOIST MEATY PALM WHICH SHE
[20471]    SURRENDERS GENTLY) The witching hour of night. I took the splinter out of
[20472]    this hand, carefully, slowly. (TENDERLY, AS HE SLIPS ON HER FINGER A RUBY
[20473]    RING) LA CI DAREM LA MANO.
[20474]    
[20475]    MRS BREEN: (IN A ONEPIECE EVENING FROCK EXECUTED IN MOONLIGHT BLUE, A
[20476]    TINSEL SYLPH'S DIADEM ON HER BROW WITH HER DANCECARD FALLEN BESIDE HER
[20477]    MOONBLUE SATIN SLIPPER, CURVES HER PALM SOFTLY, BREATHING QUICKLY) VOGLIO
[20478]    E NON. You're hot! You're scalding! The left hand nearest the heart.
[20479]    
[20480]    BLOOM: When you made your present choice they said it was beauty and the
[20481]    beast. I can never forgive you for that. (HIS CLENCHED FIST AT HIS BROW)
[20482]    Think what it means. All you meant to me then. (HOARSELY) Woman, it's
[20483]    breaking me!
[20484]    
[20485]    (DENIS BREEN, WHITETALLHATTED, WITH WISDOM HELY'S SANDWICH- BOARDS,
[20486]    SHUFFLES PAST THEM IN CARPET SLIPPERS, HIS DULL BEARD THRUST OUT,
[20487]    MUTTERING TO RIGHT AND LEFT. LITTLE ALF BERGAN, CLOAKED IN THE PALL OF
[20488]    THE ACE OF SPADES, DOGS HIM TO LEFT AND RIGHT, DOUBLED IN LAUGHTER.)
[20489]    
[20490]    ALF BERGAN: (POINTS JEERING AT THE SANDWICHBOARDS) U. p: Up.
[20491]    
[20492]    MRS BREEN: (TO BLOOM) High jinks below stairs. (SHE GIVES HIM THE GLAD
[20493]    EYE) Why didn't you kiss the spot to make it well? You wanted to.
[20494]    
[20495]    BLOOM: (SHOCKED) Molly's best friend! Could you?
[20496]    
[20497]    MRS BREEN: (HER PULPY TONGUE BETWEEN HER LIPS, OFFERS A PIGEON KISS)
[20498]    Hnhn. The answer is a lemon. Have you a little present for me there?
[20499]    
[20500]    BLOOM: (OFFHANDEDLY) Kosher. A snack for supper. The home without potted
[20501]    meat is incomplete. I was at LEAH. Mrs Bandmann Palmer. Trenchant
[20502]    exponent of Shakespeare. Unfortunately threw away the programme. Rattling
[20503]    good place round there for pigs' feet. Feel.
[20504]    
[20505]    (RICHIE GOULDING, THREE LADIES' HATS PINNED ON HIS HEAD, APPEARS WEIGHTED
[20506]    TO ONE SIDE BY THE BLACK LEGAL BAG OF COLLIS AND WARD ON WHICH A SKULL
[20507]    AND CROSSBONES ARE PAINTED IN WHITE LIMEWASH. HE OPENS IT AND SHOWS IT
[20508]    FULL OF POLONIES, KIPPERED HERRINGS, FINDON HADDIES AND TIGHTPACKED
[20509]    PILLS.)
[20510]    
[20511]    RICHIE: Best value in Dub.
[20512]    
[20513]    (BALD PAT, BOTHERED BEETLE, STANDS ON THE CURBSTONE, FOLDING HIS NAPKIN,
[20514]    WAITING TO WAIT.)
[20515]    
[20516]    PAT: (ADVANCES WITH A TILTED DISH OF SPILLSPILLING GRAVY) Steak and
[20517]    kidney. Bottle of lager. Hee hee hee. Wait till I wait.
[20518]    
[20519]    RICHIE: Goodgod. Inev erate inall ...
[20520]    
[20521]    (WITH HANGING HEAD HE MARCHES DOGGEDLY FORWARD. THE NAVVY, LURCHING BY,
[20522]    GORES HIM WITH HIS FLAMING PRONGHORN.)
[20523]    
[20524]    RICHIE: (WITH A CRY OF PAIN, HIS HAND TO HIS BACK) Ah! Bright's! Lights!
[20525]    
[20526]    BLOOM: (POINTS TO THE NAVVY) A spy. Don't attract attention. I hate
[20527]    stupid crowds. I am not on pleasure bent. I am in a grave predicament.
[20528]    
[20529]    MRS BREEN: Humbugging and deluthering as per usual with your cock and
[20530]    bull story.
[20531]    
[20532]    BLOOM: I want to tell you a little secret about how I came to be here.
[20533]    But you must never tell. Not even Molly. I have a most particular reason.
[20534]    
[20535]    MRS BREEN: (ALL AGOG) O, not for worlds.
[20536]    
[20537]    BLOOM: Let's walk on. Shall us?
[20538]    
[20539]    MRS BREEN: Let's.
[20540]    
[20541]    (THE BAWD MAKES AN UNHEEDED SIGN. BLOOM WALKS ON WITH MRS BREEN. THE
[20542]    TERRIER FOLLOWS, WHINING PITEOUSLY, WAGGING HIS TAIL.)
[20543]    
[20544]    THE BAWD: Jewman's melt!
[20545]    
[20546]    BLOOM: (IN AN OATMEAL SPORTING SUIT, A SPRIG OF WOODBINE IN THE LAPEL,
[20547]    TONY BUFF SHIRT, SHEPHERD'S PLAID SAINT ANDREW'S CROSS SCARFTIE, WHITE
[20548]    SPATS, FAWN DUSTCOAT ON HIS ARM, TAWNY RED BROGUES, FIELDGLASSES IN
[20549]    BANDOLIER AND A GREY BILLYCOCK HAT) Do you remember a long long time,
[20550]    years and years ago, just after Milly, Marionette we called her, was
[20551]    weaned when we all went together to Fairyhouse races, was it?
[20552]    
[20553]    MRS BREEN: (IN SMART SAXE TAILORMADE, WHITE VELOURS HAT AND SPIDER VEIL)
[20554]    Leopardstown.
[20555]    
[20556]    BLOOM: I mean, Leopardstown. And Molly won seven shillings on a three
[20557]    year old named Nevertell and coming home along by Foxrock in that old
[20558]    fiveseater shanderadan of a waggonette you were in your heyday then and
[20559]    you had on that new hat of white velours with a surround of molefur that
[20560]    Mrs Hayes advised you to buy because it was marked down to nineteen and
[20561]    eleven, a bit of wire and an old rag of velveteen, and I'll lay you what
[20562]    you like she did it on purpose ...
[20563]    
[20564]    MRS BREEN: She did, of course, the cat! Don't tell me! Nice adviser!
[20565]    
[20566]    BLOOM: Because it didn't suit you one quarter as well as the other ducky
[20567]    little tammy toque with the bird of paradise wing in it that I admired on
[20568]    you and you honestly looked just too fetching in it though it was a pity
[20569]    to kill it, you cruel naughty creature, little mite of a thing with a
[20570]    heart the size of a fullstop.
[20571]    
[20572]    MRS BREEN: (SQUEEZES HIS ARM, SIMPERS) Naughty cruel I was!
[20573]    
[20574]    BLOOM: (LOW, SECRETLY, EVER MORE RAPIDLY) And Molly was eating a sandwich
[20575]    of spiced beef out of Mrs Joe Gallaher's lunch basket. Frankly, though
[20576]    she had her advisers or admirers, I never cared much for her style. She
[20577]    was ...
[20578]    
[20579]    MRS BREEN: Too ...
[20580]    
[20581]    BLOOM: Yes. And Molly was laughing because Rogers and Maggot O'Reilly
[20582]    were mimicking a cock as we passed a farmhouse and Marcus Tertius Moses,
[20583]    the tea merchant, drove past us in a gig with his daughter, Dancer Moses
[20584]    was her name, and the poodle in her lap bridled up and you asked me if I
[20585]    ever heard or read or knew or came across ...
[20586]    
[20587]    MRS BREEN: (EAGERLY) Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes.
[20588]    
[20589]    (SHE FADES FROM HIS SIDE. FOLLOWED BY THE WHINING DOG HE WALKS ON TOWARDS
[20590]    HELLSGATES. IN AN ARCHWAY A STANDING WOMAN, BENT FORWARD, HER FEET APART,
[20591]    PISSES COWILY. OUTSIDE A SHUTTERED PUB A BUNCH OF LOITERERS LISTEN TO A
[20592]    TALE WHICH THEIR BROKENSNOUTED GAFFER RASPS OUT WITH RAUCOUS HUMOUR. AN
[20593]    ARMLESS PAIR OF THEM FLOP WRESTLING, GROWLING, IN MAIMED SODDEN
[20594]    PLAYFIGHT.)
[20595]    
[20596]    THE GAFFER: (CROUCHES, HIS VOICE TWISTED IN HIS SNOUT) And when Cairns
[20597]    came down from the scaffolding in Beaver street what was he after doing
[20598]    it into only into the bucket of porter that was there waiting on the
[20599]    shavings for Derwan's plasterers.
[20600]    
[20601]    THE LOITERERS: (GUFFAW WITH CLEFT PALATES) O jays!
[20602]    
[20603]    (THEIR PAINTSPECKLED HATS WAG. SPATTERED WITH SIZE AND LIME OF THEIR
[20604]    LODGES THEY FRISK LIMBLESSLY ABOUT HIM.)
[20605]    
[20606]    BLOOM: Coincidence too. They think it funny. Anything but that. Broad
[20607]    daylight. Trying to walk. Lucky no woman.
[20608]    
[20609]    THE LOITERERS: Jays, that's a good one. Glauber salts. O jays, into the
[20610]    men's porter.
[20611]    
[20612]    (BLOOM PASSES. CHEAP WHORES, SINGLY, COUPLED, SHAWLED, DISHEVELLED, CALL
[20613]    FROM LANES, DOORS, CORNERS.)
[20614]    
[20615]    THE WHORES:
[20616]    
[20617]        Are you going far, queer fellow?
[20618]        How's your middle leg?
[20619]        Got a match on you?
[20620]        Eh, come here till I stiffen it for you.
[20621]    
[20622]    (HE PLODGES THROUGH THEIR SUMP TOWARDS THE LIGHTED STREET BEYOND. FROM A
[20623]    BULGE OF WINDOW CURTAINS A GRAMOPHONE REARS A BATTERED BRAZEN TRUNK. IN
[20624]    THE SHADOW A SHEBEENKEEPER HAGGLES WITH THE NAVVY AND THE TWO REDCOATS.)
[20625]    
[20626]    THE NAVVY: (BELCHING) Where's the bloody house?
[20627]    
[20628]    THE SHEBEENKEEPER: Purdon street. Shilling a bottle of stout. Respectable
[20629]    woman.
[20630]    
[20631]    THE NAVVY: (GRIPPING THE TWO REDCOATS, STAGGERS FORWARD WITH THEM) Come
[20632]    on, you British army!
[20633]    
[20634]    PRIVATE CARR: (BEHIND HIS BACK) He aint half balmy.
[20635]    
[20636]    PRIVATE COMPTON: (LAUGHS) What ho!
[20637]    
[20638]    PRIVATE CARR: (TO THE NAVVY) Portobello barracks canteen. You ask for
[20639]    Carr. Just Carr.
[20640]    
[20641]    THE NAVVY: (SHOUTS)
[20642]    
[20643]        We are the boys. Of Wexford.
[20644]    
[20645]    PRIVATE COMPTON: Say! What price the sergeantmajor?
[20646]    
[20647]    PRIVATE CARR: Bennett? He's my pal. I love old Bennett.
[20648]    
[20649]    THE NAVVY: (SHOUTS)
[20650]    
[20651]        The galling chain.
[20652]        And free our native land.
[20653]    
[20654]    (HE STAGGERS FORWARD, DRAGGING THEM WITH HIM. BLOOM STOPS, AT FAULT. THE
[20655]    DOG APPROACHES, HIS TONGUE OUTLOLLING, PANTING)
[20656]    
[20657]    BLOOM: Wildgoose chase this. Disorderly houses. Lord knows where they are
[20658]    gone. Drunks cover distance double quick. Nice mixup. Scene at Westland
[20659]    row. Then jump in first class with third ticket. Then too far. Train with
[20660]    engine behind. Might have taken me to Malahide or a siding for the night
[20661]    or collision. Second drink does it. Once is a dose. What am I following
[20662]    him for? Still, he's the best of that lot. If I hadn't heard about Mrs
[20663]    Beaufoy Purefoy I wouldn't have gone and wouldn't have met. Kismet. He'll
[20664]    lose that cash. Relieving office here. Good biz for cheapjacks, organs.
[20665]    What do ye lack? Soon got, soon gone. Might have lost my life too with
[20666]    that mangongwheeltracktrolleyglarejuggernaut only for presence of mind.
[20667]    Can't always save you, though. If I had passed Truelock's window that day
[20668]    two minutes later would have been shot. Absence of body. Still if bullet
[20669]    only went through my coat get damages for shock, five hundred pounds.
[20670]    What was he? Kildare street club toff. God help his gamekeeper.
[20671]    
[20672]    (HE GAZES AHEAD, READING ON THE WALL A SCRAWLED CHALK LEGEND Wet Dream
[20673]    AND A PHALLIC DESIGN.) Odd! Molly drawing on the frosted carriagepane at
[20674]    Kingstown. What's that like? (GAUDY DOLLWOMEN LOLL IN THE LIGHTED
[20675]    DOORWAYS, IN WINDOW EMBRASURES, SMOKING BIRDSEYE CIGARETTES. THE ODOUR OF
[20676]    THE SICKSWEET WEED FLOATS TOWARDS HIM IN SLOW ROUND OVALLING WREATHS.)
[20677]    
[20678]    THE WREATHS: Sweet are the sweets. Sweets of sin.
[20679]    
[20680]    BLOOM: My spine's a bit limp. Go or turn? And this food? Eat it and get
[20681]    all pigsticky. Absurd I am. Waste of money. One and eightpence too much.
[20682]    (THE RETRIEVER DRIVES A COLD SNIVELLING MUZZLE AGAINST HIS HAND, WAGGING
[20683]    HIS TAIL.) Strange how they take to me. Even that brute today. Better
[20684]    speak to him first. Like women they like RENCONTRES. Stinks like a
[20685]    polecat. CHACUN SON GOUT. He might be mad. Dogdays. Uncertain in his
[20686]    movements. Good fellow! Fido! Good fellow! Garryowen! (THE WOLFDOG
[20687]    SPRAWLS ON HIS BACK, WRIGGLING OBSCENELY WITH BEGGING PAWS, HIS LONG
[20688]    BLACK TONGUE LOLLING OUT.) Influence of his surroundings. Give and have
[20689]    done with it. Provided nobody. (CALLING ENCOURAGING WORDS HE SHAMBLES
[20690]    BACK WITH A FURTIVE POACHER'S TREAD, DOGGED BY THE SETTER INTO A DARK
[20691]    STALESTUNK CORNER. HE UNROLLS ONE PARCEL AND GOES TO DUMP THE CRUBEEN
[20692]    SOFTLY BUT HOLDS BACK AND FEELS THE TROTTER.) Sizeable for threepence.
[20693]    But then I have it in my left hand. Calls for more effort. Why? Smaller
[20694]    from want of use. O, let it slide. Two and six.
[20695]    
[20696]    (WITH REGRET HE LETS THE UNROLLED CRUBEEN AND TROTTER SLIDE. THE MASTIFF
[20697]    MAULS THE BUNDLE CLUMSILY AND GLUTS HIMSELF WITH GROWLING GREED,
[20698]    CRUNCHING THE BONES. TWO RAINCAPED WATCH APPROACH, SILENT, VIGILANT. THEY
[20699]    MURMUR TOGETHER.)
[20700]    
[20701]    THE WATCH: Bloom. Of Bloom. For Bloom. Bloom.
[20702]    
[20703]    (EACH LAYS HAND ON BLOOM'S SHOULDER.)
[20704]    
[20705]    FIRST WATCH: Caught in the act. Commit no nuisance.
[20706]    
[20707]    BLOOM: (STAMMERS) I am doing good to others.
[20708]    
[20709]    (A COVEY OF GULLS, STORM PETRELS, RISES HUNGRILY FROM LIFFEY SLIME WITH
[20710]    BANBURY CAKES IN THEIR BEAKS.)
[20711]    
[20712]    THE GULLS: Kaw kave kankury kake.
[20713]    
[20714]    BLOOM: The friend of man. Trained by kindness.
[20715]    
[20716]    (HE POINTS. BOB DORAN, TOPPLING FROM A HIGH BARSTOOL, SWAYS OVER THE
[20717]    MUNCHING SPANIEL.)
[20718]    
[20719]    BOB DORAN: Towser. Give us the paw. Give the paw.
[20720]    
[20721]    (THE BULLDOG GROWLS, HIS SCRUFF STANDING, A GOBBET OF PIG'S KNUCKLE
[20722]    BETWEEN HIS MOLARS THROUGH WHICH RABID SCUMSPITTLE DRIBBLES. BOB DORAN
[20723]    FILLS SILENTLY INTO AN AREA.)
[20724]    
[20725]    SECOND WATCH: Prevention of cruelty to animals.
[20726]    
[20727]    BLOOM: (ENTHUSIASTICALLY) A noble work! I scolded that tramdriver on
[20728]    Harold's cross bridge for illusing the poor horse with his harness scab.
[20729]    Bad French I got for my pains. Of course it was frosty and the last tram.
[20730]    All tales of circus life are highly demoralising.
[20731]    
[20732]    (SIGNOR MAFFEI, PASSIONPALE, IN LIONTAMER'S COSTUME WITH DIAMOND STUDS IN
[20733]    HIS SHIRTFRONT, STEPS FORWARD, HOLDING A CIRCUS PAPERHOOP, A CURLING
[20734]    CARRIAGEWHIP AND A REVOLVER WITH WHICH HE COVERS THE GORGING BOARHOUND.)
[20735]    
[20736]    SIGNOR MAFFEI: (WITH A SINISTER SMILE) Ladies and gentlemen, my educated
[20737]    greyhound. It was I broke in the bucking broncho Ajax with my patent
[20738]    spiked saddle for carnivores. Lash under the belly with a knotted thong.
[20739]    Block tackle and a strangling pulley will bring your lion to heel, no
[20740]    matter how fractious, even LEO FEROX there, the Libyan maneater. A redhot
[20741]    crowbar and some liniment rubbing on the burning part produced Fritz of
[20742]    Amsterdam, the thinking hyena. (HE GLARES) I possess the Indian sign. The
[20743]    glint of my eye does it with these breastsparklers. (WITH A BEWITCHING
[20744]    SMILE) I now introduce Mademoiselle Ruby, the pride of the ring.
[20745]    
[20746]    FIRST WATCH: Come. Name and address.
[20747]    
[20748]    BLOOM: I have forgotten for the moment. Ah, yes! (HE TAKES OFF HIS HIGH
[20749]    GRADE HAT, SALUTING) Dr Bloom, Leopold, dental surgeon. You have heard of
[20750]    von Blum Pasha. Umpteen millions. DONNERWETTER! Owns half Austria. Egypt.
[20751]    Cousin.
[20752]    
[20753]    FIRST WATCH: Proof.
[20754]    
[20755]    (A CARD FALLS FROM INSIDE THE LEATHER HEADBAND OF BLOOM'S HAT.)
[20756]    
[20757]    BLOOM: (IN RED FEZ, CADI'S DRESS COAT WITH BROAD GREEN SASH, WEARING A
[20758]    FALSE BADGE OF THE LEGION OF HONOUR, PICKS UP THE CARD HASTILY AND OFFERS
[20759]    IT) Allow me. My club is the Junior Army and Navy. Solicitors: Messrs
[20760]    John Henry Menton, 27 Bachelor's Walk.
[20761]    
[20762]    FIRST WATCH: (READS) Henry Flower. No fixed abode. Unlawfully watching
[20763]    and besetting.
[20764]    
[20765]    SECOND WATCH: An alibi. You are cautioned.
[20766]    
[20767]    BLOOM: (PRODUCES FROM HIS HEARTPOCKET A CRUMPLED YELLOW FLOWER) This is
[20768]    the flower in question. It was given me by a man I don't know his name.
[20769]    (PLAUSIBLY) You know that old joke, rose of Castile. Bloom. The change of
[20770]    name. Virag. (HE MURMURS PRIVATELY AND CONFIDENTIALLY) We are engaged you
[20771]    see, sergeant. Lady in the case. Love entanglement. (HE SHOULDERS THE
[20772]    SECOND WATCH GENTLY) Dash it all. It's a way we gallants have in the
[20773]    navy. Uniform that does it. (HE TURNS GRAVELY TO THE FIRST WATCH) Still,
[20774]    of course, you do get your Waterloo sometimes. Drop in some evening and
[20775]    have a glass of old Burgundy. (TO THE SECOND WATCH GAILY) I'll introduce
[20776]    you, inspector. She's game. Do it in the shake of a lamb's tail.
[20777]    
[20778]    (A DARK MERCURIALISED FACE APPEARS, LEADING A VEILED FIGURE.)
[20779]    
[20780]    THE DARK MERCURY: The Castle is looking for him. He was drummed out of
[20781]    the army.
[20782]    
[20783]    MARTHA: (THICKVEILED, A CRIMSON HALTER ROUND HER NECK, A COPY OF THE
[20784]    Irish Times IN HER HAND, IN TONE OF REPROACH, POINTING) Henry! Leopold!
[20785]    Lionel, thou lost one! Clear my name.
[20786]    
[20787]    FIRST WATCH: (STERNLY) Come to the station.
[20788]    
[20789]    BLOOM: (SCARED, HATS HIMSELF, STEPS BACK, THEN, PLUCKING AT HIS HEART AND
[20790]    LIFTING HIS RIGHT FOREARM ON THE SQUARE, HE GIVES THE SIGN AND DUEGUARD
[20791]    OF FELLOWCRAFT) No, no, worshipful master, light of love. Mistaken
[20792]    identity. The Lyons mail. Lesurques and Dubosc. You remember the Childs
[20793]    fratricide case. We medical men. By striking him dead with a hatchet. I
[20794]    am wrongfully accused. Better one guilty escape than ninetynine
[20795]    wrongfully condemned.
[20796]    
[20797]    MARTHA: (SOBBING BEHIND HER VEIL) Breach of promise. My real name is
[20798]    Peggy Griffin. He wrote to me that he was miserable. I'll tell my
[20799]    brother, the Bective rugger fullback, on you, heartless flirt.
[20800]    
[20801]    BLOOM: (BEHIND HIS HAND) She's drunk. The woman is inebriated. (HE
[20802]    MURMURS VAGUELY THE PASS OF EPHRAIM) Shitbroleeth.
[20803]    
[20804]    SECOND WATCH: (TEARS IN HIS EYES, TO BLOOM) You ought to be thoroughly
[20805]    well ashamed of yourself.
[20806]    
[20807]    BLOOM: Gentlemen of the jury, let me explain. A pure mare's nest. I am a
[20808]    man misunderstood. I am being made a scapegoat of. I am a respectable
[20809]    married man, without a stain on my character. I live in Eccles street. My
[20810]    wife, I am the daughter of a most distinguished commander, a gallant
[20811]    upstanding gentleman, what do you call him, Majorgeneral Brian Tweedy,
[20812]    one of Britain's fighting men who helped to win our battles. Got his
[20813]    majority for the heroic defence of Rorke's Drift.
[20814]    
[20815]    FIRST WATCH: Regiment.
[20816]    
[20817]    BLOOM: (TURNS TO THE GALLERY) The royal Dublins, boys, the salt of the
[20818]    earth, known the world over. I think I see some old comrades in arms up
[20819]    there among you. The R. D. F., with our own Metropolitan police,
[20820]    guardians of our homes, the pluckiest lads and the finest body of men, as
[20821]    physique, in the service of our sovereign.
[20822]    
[20823]    A VOICE: Turncoat! Up the Boers! Who booed Joe Chamberlain?
[20824]    
[20825]    BLOOM: (HIS HAND ON THE SHOULDER OF THE FIRST WATCH) My old dad too was a
[20826]    J. P. I'm as staunch a Britisher as you are, sir. I fought with the
[20827]    colours for king and country in the absentminded war under general Gough
[20828]    in the park and was disabled at Spion Kop and Bloemfontein, was mentioned
[20829]    in dispatches. I did all a white man could. (WITH QUIET FEELING) Jim
[20830]    Bludso. Hold her nozzle again the bank.
[20831]    
[20832]    FIRST WATCH: Profession or trade.
[20833]    
[20834]    BLOOM: Well, I follow a literary occupation, author-journalist. In fact
[20835]    we are just bringing out a collection of prize stories of which I am the
[20836]    inventor, something that is an entirely new departure. I am connected
[20837]    with the British and Irish press. If you ring up ...
[20838]    
[20839]    (MYLES CRAWFORD STRIDES OUT JERKILY, A QUILL BETWEEN HIS TEETH. HIS
[20840]    SCARLET BEAK BLAZES WITHIN THE AUREOLE OF HIS STRAW HAT. HE DANGLES A
[20841]    HANK OF SPANISH ONIONS IN ONE HAND AND HOLDS WITH THE OTHER HAND A
[20842]    TELEPHONE RECEIVER NOZZLE TO HIS EAR.)
[20843]    
[20844]    MYLES CRAWFORD: (HIS COCK'S WATTLES WAGGING) Hello, seventyseven
[20845]    eightfour. Hello. FREEMAN'S URINAL and WEEKLY ARSEWIPE here. Paralyse
[20846]    Europe. You which? Bluebags? Who writes? Is it Bloom?
[20847]    
[20848]    (MR PHILIP BEAUFOY, PALEFACED, STANDS IN THE WITNESSBOX, IN ACCURATE
[20849]    MORNING DRESS, OUTBREAST POCKET WITH PEAK OF HANDKERCHIEF SHOWING,
[20850]    CREASED LAVENDER TROUSERS AND PATENT BOOTS. HE CARRIES A LARGE PORTFOLIO
[20851]    LABELLED Matcham's Masterstrokes.)
[20852]    
[20853]    BEAUFOY: (DRAWLS) No, you aren't. Not by a long shot if I know it. I
[20854]    don't see it that's all. No born gentleman, no-one with the most
[20855]    rudimentary promptings of a gentleman would stoop to such particularly
[20856]    loathsome conduct. One of those, my lord. A plagiarist. A soapy sneak
[20857]    masquerading as a litterateur. It's perfectly obvious that with the most
[20858]    inherent baseness he has cribbed some of my bestselling copy, really
[20859]    gorgeous stuff, a perfect gem, the love passages in which are beneath
[20860]    suspicion. The Beaufoy books of love and great possessions, with which
[20861]    your lordship is doubtless familiar, are a household word throughout the
[20862]    kingdom.
[20863]    
[20864]    BLOOM: (MURMURS WITH HANGDOG MEEKNESS GLUM) That bit about the laughing
[20865]    witch hand in hand I take exception to, if I may ...
[20866]    
[20867]    BEAUFOY: (HIS LIP UPCURLED, SMILES SUPERCILIOUSLY ON THE COURT) You funny
[20868]    ass, you! You're too beastly awfully weird for words! I don't think you
[20869]    need over excessively disincommodate yourself in that regard. My literary
[20870]    agent Mr J. B. Pinker is in attendance. I presume, my lord, we shall
[20871]    receive the usual witnesses' fees, shan't we? We are considerably out of
[20872]    pocket over this bally pressman johnny, this jackdaw of Rheims, who has
[20873]    not even been to a university.
[20874]    
[20875]    BLOOM: (INDISTINCTLY) University of life. Bad art.
[20876]    
[20877]    BEAUFOY: (SHOUTS) It's a damnably foul lie, showing the moral rottenness
[20878]    of the man! (HE EXTENDS HIS PORTFOLIO) We have here damning evidence, the
[20879]    CORPUS DELICTI, my lord, a specimen of my maturer work disfigured by the
[20880]    hallmark of the beast.
[20881]    
[20882]    A VOICE FROM THE GALLERY:
[20883]    
[20884]        Moses, Moses, king of the jews,
[20885]        Wiped his arse in the Daily News.
[20886]    
[20887]    BLOOM: (BRAVELY) Overdrawn.
[20888]    
[20889]    BEAUFOY: You low cad! You ought to be ducked in the horsepond, you
[20890]    rotter! (TO THE COURT) Why, look at the man's private life! Leading a
[20891]    quadruple existence! Street angel and house devil. Not fit to be
[20892]    mentioned in mixed society! The archconspirator of the age!
[20893]    
[20894]    BLOOM: (TO THE COURT) And he, a bachelor, how ...
[20895]    
[20896]    FIRST WATCH: The King versus Bloom. Call the woman Driscoll.
[20897]    
[20898]    THE CRIER: Mary Driscoll, scullerymaid!
[20899]    
[20900]    (MARY DRISCOLL, A SLIPSHOD SERVANT GIRL, APPROACHES. SHE HAS A BUCKET ON
[20901]    THE CROOK OF HER ARM AND A SCOURINGBRUSH IN HER HAND.)
[20902]    
[20903]    SECOND WATCH: Another! Are you of the unfortunate class?
[20904]    
[20905]    MARY DRISCOLL: (INDIGNANTLY) I'm not a bad one. I bear a respectable
[20906]    character and was four months in my last place. I was in a situation, six
[20907]    pounds a year and my chances with Fridays out and I had to leave owing to
[20908]    his carryings on.
[20909]    
[20910]    FIRST WATCH: What do you tax him with?
[20911]    
[20912]    MARY DRISCOLL: He made a certain suggestion but I thought more of myself
[20913]    as poor as I am.
[20914]    
[20915]    BLOOM: (IN HOUSEJACKET OF RIPPLECLOTH, FLANNEL TROUSERS, HEELLESS
[20916]    SLIPPERS, UNSHAVEN, HIS HAIR RUMPLED: SOFTLY) I treated you white. I gave
[20917]    you mementos, smart emerald garters far above your station. Incautiously
[20918]    I took your part when you were accused of pilfering. There's a medium in
[20919]    all things. Play cricket.
[20920]    
[20921]    MARY DRISCOLL: (EXCITEDLY) As God is looking down on me this night if
[20922]    ever I laid a hand to them oysters!
[20923]    
[20924]    FIRST WATCH: The offence complained of? Did something happen?
[20925]    
[20926]    MARY DRISCOLL: He surprised me in the rere of the premises, Your honour,
[20927]    when the missus was out shopping one morning with a request for a safety
[20928]    pin. He held me and I was discoloured in four places as a result. And he
[20929]    interfered twict with my clothing.
[20930]    
[20931]    BLOOM: She counterassaulted.
[20932]    
[20933]    MARY DRISCOLL: (SCORNFULLY) I had more respect for the scouringbrush, so
[20934]    I had. I remonstrated with him, Your lord, and he remarked: keep it
[20935]    quiet.
[20936]    
[20937]    (GENERAL LAUGHTER.)
[20938]    
[20939]    GEORGE FOTTRELL: (CLERK OF THE CROWN AND PEACE, RESONANTLY) Order in
[20940]    court! The accused will now make a bogus statement.
[20941]    
[20942]    (BLOOM, PLEADING NOT GUILTY AND HOLDING A FULLBLOWN WATERLILY, BEGINS A
[20943]    LONG UNINTELLIGIBLE SPEECH. THEY WOULD HEAR WHAT COUNSEL HAD TO SAY IN
[20944]    HIS STIRRING ADDRESS TO THE GRAND JURY. HE WAS DOWN AND OUT BUT, THOUGH
[20945]    BRANDED AS A BLACK SHEEP, IF HE MIGHT SAY SO, HE MEANT TO REFORM, TO
[20946]    RETRIEVE THE MEMORY OF THE PAST IN A PURELY SISTERLY WAY AND RETURN TO
[20947]    NATURE AS A PURELY DOMESTIC ANIMAL. A SEVENMONTHS' CHILD, HE HAD BEEN
[20948]    CAREFULLY BROUGHT UP AND NURTURED BY AN AGED BEDRIDDEN PARENT. THERE
[20949]    MIGHT HAVE BEEN LAPSES OF AN ERRING FATHER BUT HE WANTED TO TURN OVER A
[20950]    NEW LEAF AND NOW, WHEN AT LONG LAST IN SIGHT OF THE WHIPPING POST, TO
[20951]    LEAD A HOMELY LIFE IN THE EVENING OF HIS DAYS, PERMEATED BY THE
[20952]    AFFECTIONATE SURROUNDINGS OF THE HEAVING BOSOM OF THE FAMILY. AN
[20953]    ACCLIMATISED BRITISHER, HE HAD SEEN THAT SUMMER EVE FROM THE FOOTPLATE OF
[20954]    AN ENGINE CAB OF THE LOOP LINE RAILWAY COMPANY WHILE THE RAIN REFRAINED
[20955]    FROM FALLING GLIMPSES, AS IT WERE, THROUGH THE WINDOWS OF LOVEFUL
[20956]    HOUSEHOLDS IN DUBLIN CITY AND URBAN DISTRICT OF SCENES TRULY RURAL OF
[20957]    HAPPINESS OF THE BETTER LAND WITH DOCKRELL'S WALLPAPER AT ONE AND
[20958]    NINEPENCE A DOZEN, INNOCENT BRITISHBORN BAIRNS LISPING PRAYERS TO THE
[20959]    SACRED INFANT, YOUTHFUL SCHOLARS GRAPPLING WITH THEIR PENSUMS OR MODEL
[20960]    YOUNG LADIES PLAYING ON THE PIANOFORTE OR ANON ALL WITH FERVOUR RECITING
[20961]    THE FAMILY ROSARY ROUND THE CRACKLING YULELOG WHILE IN THE BOREENS AND
[20962]    GREEN LANES THE COLLEENS WITH THEIR SWAINS STROLLED WHAT TIMES THE
[20963]    STRAINS OF THE ORGANTONED MELODEON BRITANNIA METALBOUND WITH FOUR ACTING
[20964]    STOPS AND TWELVEFOLD BELLOWS, A SACRIFICE, GREATEST BARGAIN EVER...)
[20965]    
[20966]    (RENEWED LAUGHTER. HE MUMBLES INCOHERENTLY. REPORTERS COMPLAIN THAT THEY
[20967]    CANNOT HEAR.)
[20968]    
[20969]    LONGHAND AND SHORTHAND: (WITHOUT LOOKING UP FROM THEIR NOTEBOOKS) Loosen
[20970]    his boots.
[20971]    
[20972]    PROFESSOR MACHUGH: (FROM THE PRESSTABLE, COUGHS AND CALLS) Cough it up,
[20973]    man. Get it out in bits.
[20974]    
[20975]    (THE CROSSEXAMINATION PROCEEDS RE BLOOM AND THE BUCKET. A LARGE BUCKET.
[20976]    BLOOM HIMSELF. BOWEL TROUBLE. IN BEAVER STREET GRIPE, YES. QUITE BAD. A
[20977]    PLASTERER'S BUCKET. BY WALKING STIFFLEGGED. SUFFERED UNTOLD MISERY.
[20978]    DEADLY AGONY. ABOUT NOON. LOVE OR BURGUNDY. YES, SOME SPINACH. CRUCIAL
[20979]    MOMENT. HE DID NOT LOOK IN THE BUCKET NOBODY. RATHER A MESS. NOT
[20980]    COMPLETELY. A Titbits BACK NUMBER.)
[20981]    
[20982]    (UPROAR AND CATCALLS. BLOOM IN A TORN FROCKCOAT STAINED WITH WHITEWASH,
[20983]    DINGED SILK HAT SIDEWAYS ON HIS HEAD, A STRIP OF STICKINGPLASTER ACROSS
[20984]    HIS NOSE, TALKS INAUDIBLY.)
[20985]    
[20986]    J. J. O'MOLLOY: (IN BARRISTER'S GREY WIG AND STUFFGOWN, SPEAKING WITH A
[20987]    VOICE OF PAINED PROTEST) This is no place for indecent levity at the
[20988]    expense of an erring mortal disguised in liquor. We are not in a
[20989]    beargarden nor at an Oxford rag nor is this a travesty of justice. My
[20990]    client is an infant, a poor foreign immigrant who started scratch as a
[20991]    stowaway and is now trying to turn an honest penny. The trumped up
[20992]    misdemeanour was due to a momentary aberration of heredity, brought on by
[20993]    hallucination, such familiarities as the alleged guilty occurrence being
[20994]    quite permitted in my client's native place, the land of the Pharaoh.
[20995]    PRIMA FACIE, I put it to you that there was no attempt at carnally
[20996]    knowing. Intimacy did not occur and the offence complained of by
[20997]    Driscoll, that her virtue was solicited, was not repeated. I would deal
[20998]    in especial with atavism. There have been cases of shipwreck and
[20999]    somnambulism in my client's family. If the accused could speak he could a
[21000]    tale unfold--one of the strangest that have ever been narrated between
[21001]    the covers of a book. He himself, my lord, is a physical wreck from
[21002]    cobbler's weak chest. His submission is that he is of Mongolian
[21003]    extraction and irresponsible for his actions. Not all there, in fact.
[21004]    
[21005]    BLOOM: (BAREFOOT, PIGEONBREASTED, IN LASCAR'S VEST AND TROUSERS,
[21006]    APOLOGETIC TOES TURNED IN, OPENS HIS TINY MOLE'S EYES AND LOOKS ABOUT HIM
[21007]    DAZEDLY, PASSING A SLOW HAND ACROSS HIS FOREHEAD. THEN HE HITCHES HIS
[21008]    BELT SAILOR FASHION AND WITH A SHRUG OF ORIENTAL OBEISANCE SALUTES THE
[21009]    COURT, POINTING ONE THUMB HEAVENWARD.) Him makee velly muchee fine night.
[21010]    (HE BEGINS TO LILT SIMPLY)
[21011]    
[21012]        Li li poo lil chile
[21013]        Blingee pigfoot evly night
[21014]        Payee two shilly ...
[21015]    
[21016]    (HE IS HOWLED DOWN.)
[21017]    
[21018]    J. J. O'MOLLOY: (HOTLY TO THE POPULACE) This is a lonehand fight. By
[21019]    Hades, I will not have any client of mine gagged and badgered in this
[21020]    fashion by a pack of curs and laughing hyenas. The Mosaic code has
[21021]    superseded the law of the jungle. I say it and I say it emphatically,
[21022]    without wishing for one moment to defeat the ends of justice, accused was
[21023]    not accessory before the act and prosecutrix has not been tampered with.
[21024]    The young person was treated by defendant as if she were his very own
[21025]    daughter. (BLOOM TAKES J. J. O'MOLLOY'S HAND AND RAISES IT TO HIS LIPS.)
[21026]    I shall call rebutting evidence to prove up to the hilt that the hidden
[21027]    hand is again at its old game. When in doubt persecute Bloom. My client,
[21028]    an innately bashful man, would be the last man in the world to do
[21029]    anything ungentlemanly which injured modesty could object to or cast a
[21030]    stone at a girl who took the wrong turning when some dastard, responsible
[21031]    for her condition, had worked his own sweet will on her. He wants to go
[21032]    straight. I regard him as the whitest man I know. He is down on his luck
[21033]    at present owing to the mortgaging of his extensive property at Agendath
[21034]    Netaim in faraway Asia Minor, slides of which will now be shown. (TO
[21035]    BLOOM) I suggest that you will do the handsome thing.
[21036]    
[21037]    BLOOM: A penny in the pound.
[21038]    
[21039]    (THE IMAGE OF THE LAKE OF KINNERETH WITH BLURRED CATTLE CROPPING IN
[21040]    SILVER HAZE IS PROJECTED ON THE WALL. MOSES DLUGACZ, FERRETEYED ALBINO,
[21041]    IN BLUE DUNGAREES, STANDS UP IN THE GALLERY, HOLDING IN EACH HAND AN
[21042]    ORANGE CITRON AND A PORK KIDNEY.)
[21043]    
[21044]    DLUGACZ: (HOARSELY) Bleibtreustrasse, Berlin, W.13.
[21045]    
[21046]    (J. J. O'MOLLOY STEPS ON TO A LOW PLINTH AND HOLDS THE LAPEL OF HIS COAT
[21047]    WITH SOLEMNITY. HIS FACE LENGTHENS, GROWS PALE AND BEARDED, WITH SUNKEN
[21048]    EYES, THE BLOTCHES OF PHTHISIS AND HECTIC CHEEKBONES OF JOHN F. TAYLOR.
[21049]    HE APPLIES HIS HANDKERCHIEF TO HIS MOUTH AND SCRUTINISES THE GALLOPING
[21050]    TIDE OF ROSEPINK BLOOD.)
[21051]    
[21052]    J.J.O'MOLLOY: (ALMOST VOICELESSLY) Excuse me. I am suffering from a
[21053]    severe chill, have recently come from a sickbed. A few wellchosen words.
[21054]    (HE ASSUMES THE AVINE HEAD, FOXY MOUSTACHE AND PROBOSCIDAL ELOQUENCE OF
[21055]    SEYMOUR BUSHE.) When the angel's book comes to be opened if aught that
[21056]    the pensive bosom has inaugurated of soultransfigured and of
[21057]    soultransfiguring deserves to live I say accord the prisoner at the bar
[21058]    the sacred benefit of the doubt. (A PAPER WITH SOMETHING WRITTEN ON IT IS
[21059]    HANDED INTO COURT.)
[21060]    
[21061]    BLOOM: (IN COURT DRESS) Can give best references. Messrs Callan, Coleman.
[21062]    Mr Wisdom Hely J. P. My old chief Joe Cuffe. Mr V. B. Dillon, ex lord
[21063]    mayor of Dublin. I have moved in the charmed circle of the highest ...
[21064]    Queens of Dublin society. (CARELESSLY) I was just chatting this afternoon
[21065]    at the viceregal lodge to my old pals, sir Robert and lady Ball,
[21066]    astronomer royal at the levee. Sir Bob, I said ...
[21067]    
[21068]    MRS YELVERTON BARRY: (IN LOWCORSAGED OPAL BALLDRESS AND ELBOWLENGTH IVORY
[21069]    GLOVES, WEARING A SABLETRIMMED BRICKQUILTED DOLMAN, A COMB OF BRILLIANTS
[21070]    AND PANACHE OF OSPREY IN HER HAIR) Arrest him, constable. He wrote me an
[21071]    anonymous letter in prentice backhand when my husband was in the North
[21072]    Riding of Tipperary on the Munster circuit, signed James Lovebirch. He
[21073]    said that he had seen from the gods my peerless globes as I sat in a box
[21074]    of the THEATRE ROYAL at a command performance of LA CIGALE. I deeply
[21075]    inflamed him, he said. He made improper overtures to me to misconduct
[21076]    myself at half past four p.m. on the following Thursday, Dunsink time. He
[21077]    offered to send me through the post a work of fiction by Monsieur Paul de
[21078]    Kock, entitled THE GIRL WITH THE THREE PAIRS OF STAYS.
[21079]    
[21080]    MRS BELLINGHAM: (IN CAP AND SEAL CONEY MANTLE, WRAPPED UP TO THE NOSE,
[21081]    STEPS OUT OF HER BROUGHAM AND SCANS THROUGH TORTOISESHELL QUIZZING-
[21082]    GLASSES WHICH SHE TAKES FROM INSIDE HER HUGE OPOSSUM MUFF) Also to me.
[21083]    Yes, I believe it is the same objectionable person. Because he closed my
[21084]    carriage door outside sir Thornley Stoker's one sleety day during the
[21085]    cold snap of February ninetythree when even the grid of the wastepipe and
[21086]    the ballstop in my bath cistern were frozen. Subsequently he enclosed a
[21087]    bloom of edelweiss culled on the heights, as he said, in my honour. I had
[21088]    it examined by a botanical expert and elicited the information that it
[21089]    was ablossom of the homegrown potato plant purloined from a forcingcase
[21090]    of the model farm.
[21091]    
[21092]    MRS YELVERTON BARRY: Shame on him!
[21093]    
[21094]    (A CROWD OF SLUTS AND RAGAMUFFINS SURGES FORWARD)
[21095]    
[21096]    THE SLUTS AND RAGAMUFFINS: (SCREAMING) Stop thief! Hurrah there,
[21097]    Bluebeard! Three cheers for Ikey Mo!
[21098]    
[21099]    SECOND WATCH: (PRODUCES HANDCUFFS) Here are the darbies.
[21100]    
[21101]    MRS BELLINGHAM: He addressed me in several handwritings with fulsome
[21102]    compliments as a Venus in furs and alleged profound pity for my
[21103]    frostbound coachman Palmer while in the same breath he expressed himself
[21104]    as envious of his earflaps and fleecy sheepskins and of his fortunate
[21105]    proximity to my person, when standing behind my chair wearing my livery
[21106]    and the armorial bearings of the Bellingham escutcheon garnished sable, a
[21107]    buck's head couped or. He lauded almost extravagantly my nether
[21108]    extremities, my swelling calves in silk hose drawn up to the limit, and
[21109]    eulogised glowingly my other hidden treasures in priceless lace which, he
[21110]    said, he could conjure up. He urged me (stating that he felt it his
[21111]    mission in life to urge me) to defile the marriage bed, to commit
[21112]    adultery at the earliest possible opportunity.
[21113]    
[21114]    THE HONOURABLE MRS MERVYN TALBOYS: (IN AMAZON COSTUME, HARD HAT,
[21115]    JACKBOOTS COCKSPURRED, VERMILION WAISTCOAT, FAWN MUSKETEER GAUNTLETS WITH
[21116]    BRAIDED DRUMS, LONG TRAIN HELD UP AND HUNTING CROP WITH WHICH SHE STRIKES
[21117]    HER WELT CONSTANTLY) Also me. Because he saw me on the polo ground of the
[21118]    Phoenix park at the match All Ireland versus the Rest of Ireland. My
[21119]    eyes, I know, shone divinely as I watched Captain Slogger Dennehy of the
[21120]    Inniskillings win the final chukkar on his darling cob CENTAUR. This
[21121]    plebeian Don Juan observed me from behind a hackney car and sent me in
[21122]    double envelopes an obscene photograph, such as are sold after dark on
[21123]    Paris boulevards, insulting to any lady. I have it still. It represents a
[21124]    partially nude senorita, frail and lovely (his wife, as he solemnly
[21125]    assured me, taken by him from nature), practising illicit intercourse
[21126]    with a muscular torero, evidently a blackguard. He urged me to do
[21127]    likewise, to misbehave, to sin with officers of the garrison. He implored
[21128]    me to soil his letter in an unspeakable manner, to chastise him as he
[21129]    richly deserves, to bestride and ride him, to give him a most vicious
[21130]    horsewhipping.
[21131]    
[21132]    MRS BELLINGHAM: Me too.
[21133]    
[21134]    MRS YELVERTON BARRY: Me too.
[21135]    
[21136]    (SEVERAL HIGHLY RESPECTABLE DUBLIN LADIES HOLD UP IMPROPER LETTERS
[21137]    RECEIVED FROM BLOOM.)
[21138]    
[21139]    THE HONOURABLE MRS MERVYN TALBOYS: (STAMPS HER JINGLING SPURS IN A SUDDEN
[21140]    PAROXYSM OF FURY) I will, by the God above me. I'll scourge the
[21141]    pigeonlivered cur as long as I can stand over him. I'll flay him alive.
[21142]    
[21143]    BLOOM: (HIS EYES CLOSING, QUAILS EXPECTANTLY) Here? (HE SQUIRMS) Again!
[21144]    (HE PANTS CRINGING) I love the danger.
[21145]    
[21146]    THE HONOURABLE MRS MERVYN TALBOYS: Very much so! I'll make it hot for
[21147]    you. I'll make you dance Jack Latten for that.
[21148]    
[21149]    MRS BELLINGHAM: Tan his breech well, the upstart! Write the stars and
[21150]    stripes on it!
[21151]    
[21152]    MRS YELVERTON BARRY: Disgraceful! There's no excuse for him! A married
[21153]    man!
[21154]    
[21155]    BLOOM: All these people. I meant only the spanking idea. A warm tingling
[21156]    glow without effusion. Refined birching to stimulate the circulation.
[21157]    
[21158]    THE HONOURABLE MRS MERVYN TALBOYS: (LAUGHS DERISIVELY) O, did you, my
[21159]    fine fellow? Well, by the living God, you'll get the surprise of your
[21160]    life now, believe me, the most unmerciful hiding a man ever bargained
[21161]    for. You have lashed the dormant tigress in my nature into fury.
[21162]    
[21163]    MRS BELLINGHAM: (SHAKES HER MUFF AND QUIZZING-GLASSES VINDICTIVELY) Make
[21164]    him smart, Hanna dear. Give him ginger. Thrash the mongrel within an inch
[21165]    of his life. The cat-o'-nine-tails. Geld him. Vivisect him.
[21166]    
[21167]    BLOOM: (SHUDDERING, SHRINKING, JOINS HIS HANDS: WITH HANGDOG MIEN) O
[21168]    cold! O shivery! It was your ambrosial beauty. Forget, forgive. Kismet.
[21169]    Let me off this once. (HE OFFERS THE OTHER CHEEK)
[21170]    
[21171]    MRS YELVERTON BARRY: (SEVERELY) Don't do so on any account, Mrs Talboys!
[21172]    He should be soundly trounced!
[21173]    
[21174]    THE HONOURABLE MRS MERVYN TALBOYS: (UNBUTTONING HER GAUNTLET VIOLENTLY)
[21175]    I'll do no such thing. Pigdog and always was ever since he was pupped! To
[21176]    dare address me! I'll flog him black and blue in the public streets. I'll
[21177]    dig my spurs in him up to the rowel. He is a wellknown cuckold. (SHE
[21178]    SWISHES HER HUNTINGCROP SAVAGELY IN THE AIR) Take down his trousers
[21179]    without loss of time. Come here, sir! Quick! Ready?
[21180]    
[21181]    BLOOM: (TREMBLING, BEGINNING TO OBEY) The weather has been so warm.
[21182]    
[21183]    (DAVY STEPHENS, RINGLETTED, PASSES WITH A BEVY OF BAREFOOT NEWSBOYS.)
[21184]    
[21185]    DAVY STEPHENS: MESSENGER OF THE SACRED HEART and EVENING TELEGRAPH with
[21186]    Saint Patrick's Day supplement. Containing the new addresses of all the
[21187]    cuckolds in Dublin.
[21188]    
[21189]    (THE VERY REVEREND CANON O'HANLON IN CLOTH OF GOLD COPE ELEVATES AND
[21190]    EXPOSES A MARBLE TIMEPIECE. BEFORE HIM FATHER CONROY AND THE REVEREND
[21191]    JOHN HUGHES S.J. BEND LOW.)
[21192]    
[21193]    THE TIMEPIECE: (UNPORTALLING)
[21194]    
[21195]    
[21196]        Cuckoo.
[21197]        Cuckoo.
[21198]        Cuckoo.
[21199]    
[21200]    
[21201]    (THE BRASS QUOITS OF A BED ARE HEARD TO JINGLE.)
[21202]    
[21203]    THE QUOITS: Jigjag. Jigajiga. Jigjag.
[21204]    
[21205]    (A PANEL OF FOG ROLLS BACK RAPIDLY, REVEALING RAPIDLY IN THE JURYBOX THE
[21206]    FACES OF MARTIN CUNNINGHAM, FOREMAN, SILKHATTED, JACK POWER, SIMON
[21207]    DEDALUS, TOM KERNAN, NED LAMBERT, JOHN HENRY MENTON MYLES CRAWFORD,
[21208]    LENEHAN, PADDY LEONARD, NOSEY FLYNN, M'COY AND THE FEATURELESS FACE OF A
[21209]    NAMELESS ONE.)
[21210]    
[21211]    THE NAMELESS ONE: Bareback riding. Weight for age. Gob, he organised her.
[21212]    
[21213]    THE JURORS: (ALL THEIR HEADS TURNED TO HIS VOICE) Really?
[21214]    
[21215]    THE NAMELESS ONE: (SNARLS) Arse over tip. Hundred shillings to five.
[21216]    
[21217]    THE JURORS: (ALL THEIR HEADS LOWERED IN ASSENT) Most of us thought as
[21218]    much.
[21219]    
[21220]    FIRST WATCH: He is a marked man. Another girl's plait cut. Wanted: Jack
[21221]    the Ripper. A thousand pounds reward.
[21222]    
[21223]    SECOND WATCH: (AWED, WHISPERS) And in black. A mormon. Anarchist.
[21224]    
[21225]    THE CRIER: (LOUDLY) Whereas Leopold Bloom of no fixed abode is a
[21226]    wellknown dynamitard, forger, bigamist, bawd and cuckold and a public
[21227]    nuisance to the citizens of Dublin and whereas at this commission of
[21228]    assizes the most honourable ...
[21229]    
[21230]    (HIS HONOUR, SIR FREDERICK FALKINER, RECORDER OF DUBLIN, IN JUDICIAL GARB
[21231]    OF GREY STONE RISES FROM THE BENCH, STONEBEARDED. HE BEARS IN HIS ARMS AN
[21232]    UMBRELLA SCEPTRE. FROM HIS FOREHEAD ARISE STARKLY THE MOSAIC RAMSHORNS.)
[21233]    
[21234]    THE RECORDER: I will put an end to this white slave traffic and rid
[21235]    Dublin of this odious pest. Scandalous! (HE DONS THE BLACK CAP) Let him
[21236]    be taken, Mr Subsheriff, from the dock where he now stands and detained
[21237]    in custody in Mountjoy prison during His Majesty's pleasure and there be
[21238]    hanged by the neck until he is dead and therein fail not at your peril or
[21239]    may the Lord have mercy on your soul. Remove him. (A BLACK SKULLCAP
[21240]    DESCENDS UPON HIS HEAD.)
[21241]    
[21242]    (THE SUBSHERIFF LONG JOHN FANNING APPEARS, SMOKING A PUNGENT HENRY CLAY.)
[21243]    
[21244]    LONG JOHN FANNING: (SCOWLS AND CALLS WITH RICH ROLLING UTTERANCE) Who'll
[21245]    hang Judas Iscariot?
[21246]    
[21247]    (H. RUMBOLD, MASTER BARBER, IN A BLOODCOLOURED JERKIN AND TANNER'S APRON,
[21248]    A ROPE COILED OVER HIS SHOULDER, MOUNTS THE BLOCK. A LIFE PRESERVER AND A
[21249]    NAILSTUDDED BLUDGEON ARE STUCK IN HIS BELT. HE RUBS GRIMLY HIS GRAPPLING
[21250]    HANDS, KNOBBED WITH KNUCKLEDUSTERS.)
[21251]    
[21252]    RUMBOLD: (TO THE RECORDER WITH SINISTER FAMILIARITY) Hanging Harry, your
[21253]    Majesty, the Mersey terror. Five guineas a jugular. Neck or nothing.
[21254]    
[21255]    (THE BELLS OF GEORGE'S CHURCH TOLL SLOWLY, LOUD DARK IRON.)
[21256]    
[21257]    THE BELLS: Heigho! Heigho!
[21258]    
[21259]    BLOOM: (DESPERATELY) Wait. Stop. Gulls. Good heart. I saw. Innocence.
[21260]    Girl in the monkeyhouse. Zoo. Lewd chimpanzee. (BREATHLESSLY) Pelvic
[21261]    basin. Her artless blush unmanned me. (OVERCOME WITH EMOTION) I left the
[21262]    precincts. (HE TURNS TO A FIGURE IN THE CROWD, APPEALING) Hynes, may I
[21263]    speak to you? You know me. That three shillings you can keep. If you want
[21264]    a little more ...
[21265]    
[21266]    HYNES: (COLDLY) You are a perfect stranger.
[21267]    
[21268]    SECOND WATCH: (POINTS TO THE CORNER) The bomb is here.
[21269]    
[21270]    FIRST WATCH: Infernal machine with a time fuse.
[21271]    
[21272]    BLOOM: No, no. Pig's feet. I was at a funeral.
[21273]    
[21274]    FIRST WATCH: (DRAWS HIS TRUNCHEON) Liar!
[21275]    
[21276]    (THE BEAGLE LIFTS HIS SNOUT, SHOWING THE GREY SCORBUTIC FACE OF PADDY
[21277]    DIGNAM. HE HAS GNAWED ALL. HE EXHALES A PUTRID CARCASEFED BREATH. HE
[21278]    GROWS TO HUMAN SIZE AND SHAPE. HIS DACHSHUND COAT BECOMES A BROWN
[21279]    MORTUARY HABIT. HIS GREEN EYE FLASHES BLOODSHOT. HALF OF ONE EAR, ALL THE
[21280]    NOSE AND BOTH THUMBS ARE GHOULEATEN.)
[21281]    
[21282]    PADDY DIGNAM: (IN A HOLLOW VOICE) It is true. It was my funeral. Doctor
[21283]    Finucane pronounced life extinct when I succumbed to the disease from
[21284]    natural causes.
[21285]    
[21286]    (HE LIFTS HIS MUTILATED ASHEN FACE MOONWARDS AND BAYS LUGUBRIOUSLY.)
[21287]    
[21288]    BLOOM: (IN TRIUMPH) You hear?
[21289]    
[21290]    PADDY DIGNAM: Bloom, I am Paddy Dignam's spirit. List, list, O list!
[21291]    
[21292]    BLOOM: The voice is the voice of Esau.
[21293]    
[21294]    SECOND WATCH: (BLESSES HIMSELF) How is that possible?
[21295]    
[21296]    FIRST WATCH: It is not in the penny catechism.
[21297]    
[21298]    PADDY DIGNAM: By metempsychosis. Spooks.
[21299]    
[21300]    A VOICE: O rocks.
[21301]    
[21302]    PADDY DIGNAM: (EARNESTLY) Once I was in the employ of Mr J. H. Menton,
[21303]    solicitor, commissioner for oaths and affidavits, of 27 Bachelor's Walk.
[21304]    Now I am defunct, the wall of the heart hypertrophied. Hard lines. The
[21305]    poor wife was awfully cut up. How is she bearing it? Keep her off that
[21306]    bottle of sherry. (HE LOOKS ROUND HIM) A lamp. I must satisfy an animal
[21307]    need. That buttermilk didn't agree with me.
[21308]    
[21309]    (THE PORTLY FIGURE OF JOHN O'CONNELL, CARETAKER, STANDS FORTH, HOLDING A
[21310]    BUNCH OF KEYS TIED WITH CRAPE. BESIDE HIM STANDS FATHER COFFEY, CHAPLAIN,
[21311]    TOADBELLIED, WRYNECKED, IN A SURPLICE AND BANDANNA NIGHTCAP, HOLDING
[21312]    SLEEPILY A STAFF TWISTED POPPIES.)
[21313]    
[21314]    FATHER COFFEY: (YAWNS, THEN CHANTS WITH A HOARSE CROAK) Namine. Jacobs.
[21315]    Vobiscuits. Amen.
[21316]    
[21317]    JOHN O'CONNELL: (FOGHORNS STORMILY THROUGH HIS MEGAPHONE) Dignam, Patrick
[21318]    T, deceased.
[21319]    
[21320]    PADDY DIGNAM: (WITH PRICKED UP EARS, WINCES) Overtones. (HE WRIGGLES
[21321]    FORWARD AND PLACES AN EAR TO THE GROUND) My master's voice!
[21322]    
[21323]    JOHN O'CONNELL: Burial docket letter number U. P. eightyfive thousand.
[21324]    Field seventeen. House of Keys. Plot, one hundred and one.
[21325]    
[21326]    (PADDY DIGNAM LISTENS WITH VISIBLE EFFORT, THINKING, HIS TAIL
[21327]    STIFFPOINTCD, HIS EARS COCKED.)
[21328]    
[21329]    PADDY DIGNAM: Pray for the repose of his soul.
[21330]    
[21331]    (HE WORMS DOWN THROUGH A COALHOLE, HIS BROWN HABIT TRAILING ITS TETHER
[21332]    OVER RATTLING PEBBLES. AFTER HIM TODDLES AN OBESE GRANDFATHER RAT ON
[21333]    FUNGUS TURTLE PAWS UNDER A GREY CARAPACE. DIGNAM'S VOICE, MUFFLED, IS
[21334]    HEARD BAYING UNDER GROUND: Dignam's dead and gone below. TOM ROCHFORD,
[21335]    ROBINREDBREASTED, IN CAP AND BREECHES, JUMPS FROM HIS TWOCOLUMNED
[21336]    MACHINE.)
[21337]    
[21338]    TOM ROCHFORD: (A HAND TO HIS BREASTBONE, BOWS) Reuben J. A florin I find
[21339]    him. (HE FIXES THE MANHOLE WITH A RESOLUTE STARE) My turn now on. Follow
[21340]    me up to Carlow.
[21341]    
[21342]    (HE EXECUTES A DAREDEVIL SALMON LEAP IN THE AIR AND IS ENGULFED IN THE
[21343]    COALHOLE. TWO DISCS ON THE COLUMNS WOBBLE, EYES OF NOUGHT. ALL RECEDES.
[21344]    BLOOM PLODGES FORWARD AGAIN THROUGH THE SUMP. KISSES CHIRP AMID THE RIFTS
[21345]    OF FOG A PIANO SOUNDS. HE STANDS BEFORE A LIGHTED HOUSE, LISTENING. THE
[21346]    KISSES, WINGING FROM THEIR BOWERS FLY ABOUT HIM, TWITTERING, WARBLING,
[21347]    COOING.)
[21348]    
[21349]    THE KISSES: (WARBLING) Leo! (TWITTERING) Icky licky micky sticky for Leo!
[21350]    (COOING) Coo coocoo! Yummyyum, Womwom! (WARBLING) Big comebig! Pirouette!
[21351]    Leopopold! (TWITTERING) Leeolee! (WARBLING) O Leo!
[21352]    
[21353]    (THEY RUSTLE, FLUTTER UPON HIS GARMENTS, ALIGHT, BRIGHT GIDDY FLECKS,
[21354]    SILVERY SEQUINS.)
[21355]    
[21356]    BLOOM: A man's touch. Sad music. Church music. Perhaps here.
[21357]    
[21358]    (ZOE HIGGINS, A YOUNG WHORE IN A SAPPHIRE SLIP, CLOSED WITH THREE BRONZE
[21359]    BUCKLES, A SLIM BLACK VELVET FILLET ROUND HER THROAT, NODS, TRIPS DOWN
[21360]    THE STEPS AND ACCOSTS HIM.)
[21361]    
[21362]    ZOE: Are you looking for someone? He's inside with his friend.
[21363]    
[21364]    BLOOM: Is this Mrs Mack's?
[21365]    
[21366]    ZOE: No, eightyone. Mrs Cohen's. You might go farther and fare worse.
[21367]    Mother Slipperslapper. (FAMILIARLY) She's on the job herself tonight with
[21368]    the vet her tipster that gives her all the winners and pays for her son
[21369]    in Oxford. Working overtime but her luck's turned today. (SUSPICIOUSLY)
[21370]    You're not his father, are you?
[21371]    
[21372]    BLOOM: Not I!
[21373]    
[21374]    ZOE: You both in black. Has little mousey any tickles tonight?
[21375]    
[21376]    (HIS SKIN, ALERT, FEELS HER FINGERTIPS APPROACH. A HAND GLIDES OVER HIS
[21377]    LEFT THIGH.)
[21378]    
[21379]    ZOE: How's the nuts?
[21380]    
[21381]    BLOOM: Off side. Curiously they are on the right. Heavier, I suppose. One
[21382]    in a million my tailor, Mesias, says.
[21383]    
[21384]    ZOE: (IN SUDDEN ALARM) You've a hard chancre.
[21385]    
[21386]    BLOOM: Not likely.
[21387]    
[21388]    ZOE: I feel it.
[21389]    
[21390]    (HER HAND SLIDES INTO HIS LEFT TROUSER POCKET AND BRINGS OUT A HARD BLACK
[21391]    SHRIVELLED POTATO. SHE REGARDS IT AND BLOOM WITH DUMB MOIST LIPS.)
[21392]    
[21393]    BLOOM: A talisman. Heirloom.
[21394]    
[21395]    ZOE: For Zoe? For keeps? For being so nice, eh?
[21396]    
[21397]    (SHE PUTS THE POTATO GREEDILY INTO A POCKET THEN LINKS HIS ARM, CUDDLING
[21398]    HIM WITH SUPPLE WARMTH. HE SMILES UNEASILY. SLOWLY, NOTE BY NOTE,
[21399]    ORIENTAL MUSIC IS PLAYED. HE GAZES IN THE TAWNY CRYSTAL OF HER EYES,
[21400]    RINGED WITH KOHOL. HIS SMILE SOFTENS.)
[21401]    
[21402]    ZOE: You'll know me the next time.
[21403]    
[21404]    BLOOM: (FORLORNLY) I never loved a dear gazelle but it was sure to ...
[21405]    
[21406]    (GAZELLES ARE LEAPING, FEEDING ON THE MOUNTAINS. NEAR ARE LAKES. ROUND
[21407]    THEIR SHORES FILE SHADOWS BLACK OF CEDARGROVES. AROMA RISES, A STRONG
[21408]    HAIRGROWTH OF RESIN. IT BURNS, THE ORIENT, A SKY OF SAPPHIRE, CLEFT BY
[21409]    THE BRONZE FLIGHT OF EAGLES. UNDER IT LIES THE WOMANCITY NUDE, WHITE,
[21410]    STILL, COOL, IN LUXURY. A FOUNTAIN MURMURS AMONG DAMASK ROSES. MAMMOTH
[21411]    ROSES MURMUR OF SCARLET WINEGRAPES. A WINE OF SHAME, LUST, BLOOD EXUDES,
[21412]    STRANGELY MURMURING.)
[21413]    
[21414]    ZOE: (MURMURING SINGSONG WITH THE MUSIC, HER ODALISK LIPS LUSCIOUSLY
[21415]    SMEARED WITH SALVE OF SWINEFAT AND ROSEWATER) SCHORACH ANI WENOWACH,
[21416]    BENOITH HIERUSHALOIM.
[21417]    
[21418]    BLOOM: (FASCINATED) I thought you were of good stock by your accent.
[21419]    
[21420]    ZOE: And you know what thought did?
[21421]    
[21422]    (SHE BITES HIS EAR GENTLY WITH LITTLE GOLDSTOPPED TEETH, SENDING ON HIM A
[21423]    CLOYING BREATH OF STALE GARLIC. THE ROSES DRAW APART, DISCLOSE A
[21424]    SEPULCHRE OF THE GOLD OF KINGS AND THEIR MOULDERING BONES.)
[21425]    
[21426]    BLOOM: (DRAWS BACK, MECHANICALLY CARESSING HER RIGHT BUB WITH A FLAT
[21427]    AWKWARD HAND) Are you a Dublin girl?
[21428]    
[21429]    ZOE: (CATCHES A STRAY HAIR DEFTLY AND TWISTS IT TO HER COIL) No bloody
[21430]    fear. I'm English. Have you a swaggerroot?
[21431]    
[21432]    BLOOM: (AS BEFORE) Rarely smoke, dear. Cigar now and then. Childish
[21433]    device. (LEWDLY) The mouth can be better engaged than with a cylinder of
[21434]    rank weed.
[21435]    
[21436]    ZOE: Go on. Make a stump speech out of it.
[21437]    
[21438]    BLOOM: (IN WORKMAN'S CORDUROY OVERALLS, BLACK GANSY WITH RED FLOATING TIE
[21439]    AND APACHE CAP) Mankind is incorrigible. Sir Walter Ralegh brought from
[21440]    the new world that potato and that weed, the one a killer of pestilence
[21441]    by absorption, the other a poisoner of the ear, eye, heart, memory, will
[21442]    understanding, all. That is to say he brought the poison a hundred years
[21443]    before another person whose name I forget brought the food. Suicide.
[21444]    Lies. All our habits. Why, look at our public life!
[21445]    
[21446]    (MIDNIGHT CHIMES FROM DISTANT STEEPLES.)
[21447]    
[21448]    THE CHIMES: Turn again, Leopold! Lord mayor of Dublin!
[21449]    
[21450]    BLOOM: (IN ALDERMAN'S GOWN AND CHAIN) Electors of Arran Quay, Inns Quay,
[21451]    Rotunda, Mountjoy and North Dock, better run a tramline, I say, from the
[21452]    cattlemarket to the river. That's the music of the future. That's my
[21453]    programme. CUI BONO? But our bucaneering Vanderdeckens in their phantom
[21454]    ship of finance ...
[21455]    
[21456]    AN ELECTOR: Three times three for our future chief magistrate!
[21457]    
[21458]    (THE AURORA BOREALIS OF THE TORCHLIGHT PROCESSION LEAPS.)
[21459]    
[21460]    THE TORCHBEARERS: Hooray!
[21461]    
[21462]    (SEVERAL WELLKNOWN BURGESSES, CITY MAGNATES AND FREEMEN OF THE CITY SHAKE
[21463]    HANDS WITH BLOOM AND CONGRATULATE HIM. TIMOTHY HARRINGTON, LATE THRICE
[21464]    LORD MAYOR OF DUBLIN, IMPOSING IN MAYORAL SCARLET, GOLD CHAIN AND WHITE
[21465]    SILK TIE, CONFERS WITH COUNCILLOR LORCAN SHERLOCK, LOCUM TENENS. THEY NOD
[21466]    VIGOROUSLY IN AGREEMENT.)
[21467]    
[21468]    LATE LORD MAYOR HARRINGTON: (IN SCARLET ROBE WITH MACE, GOLD MAYORAL
[21469]    CHAIN AND LARGE WHITE SILK SCARF) That alderman sir Leo Bloom's speech be
[21470]    printed at the expense of the ratepayers. That the house in which he was
[21471]    born be ornamented with a commemorative tablet and that the thoroughfare
[21472]    hitherto known as Cow Parlour off Cork street be henceforth designated
[21473]    Boulevard Bloom.
[21474]    
[21475]    COUNCILLOR LORCAN SHERLOCK: Carried unanimously.
[21476]    
[21477]    BLOOM: (IMPASSIONEDLY) These flying Dutchmen or lying Dutchmen as they
[21478]    recline in their upholstered poop, casting dice, what reck they? Machines
[21479]    is their cry, their chimera, their panacea. Laboursaving apparatuses,
[21480]    supplanters, bugbears, manufactured monsters for mutual murder, hideous
[21481]    hobgoblins produced by a horde of capitalistic lusts upon our prostituted
[21482]    labour. The poor man starves while they are grassing their royal mountain
[21483]    stags or shooting peasants and phartridges in their purblind pomp of pelf
[21484]    and power. But their reign is rover for rever and ever and ev ...
[21485]    
[21486]    (PROLONGED APPLAUSE. VENETIAN MASTS, MAYPOLES AND FESTAL ARCHES SPRING
[21487]    UP. A STREAMER BEARING THE LEGENDS Cead Mile Failte AND Mah Ttob Melek
[21488]    Israel SPANS THE STREET. ALL THE WINDOWS ARE THRONGED WITH SIGHTSEERS,
[21489]    CHIEFLY LADIES. ALONG THE ROUTE THE REGIMENTS OF THE ROYAL DUBLIN
[21490]    FUSILIERS, THE KING'S OWN SCOTTISH BORDERERS, THE CAMERON HIGHLANDERS AND
[21491]    THE WELSH FUSILIERS STANDING TO ATTENTION, KEEP BACK THE CROWD. BOYS FROM
[21492]    HIGH SCHOOL ARE PERCHED ON THE LAMPPOSTS, TELEGRAPH POLES, WINDOWSILLS,
[21493]    CORNICES, GUTTERS, CHIMNEYPOTS, RAILINGS, RAINSPOUTS, WHISTLING AND
[21494]    CHEERING THE PILLAR OF THE CLOUD APPEARS. A FIFE AND DRUM BAND IS HEARD
[21495]    IN THE DISTANCE PLAYING THE KOL NIDRE. THE BEATERS APPROACH WITH IMPERIAL
[21496]    EAGLES HOISTED, TRAILING BANNERS AND WAVING ORIENTAL PALMS. THE
[21497]    CHRYSELEPHANTINE PAPAL STANDARD RISES HIGH, SURROUNDED BY PENNONS OF THE
[21498]    CIVIC FLAG. THE VAN OF THE PROCESSION APPEARS HEADED BY JOHN HOWARD
[21499]    PARNELL, CITY MARSHAL, IN A CHESSBOARD TABARD, THE ATHLONE POURSUIVANT
[21500]    AND ULSTER KING OF ARMS. THEY ARE FOLLOWED BY THE RIGHT HONOURABLE JOSEPH
[21501]    HUTCHINSON, LORD MAYOR OF DUBLIN, HIS LORDSHIP THE LORD MAYOR OF CORK,
[21502]    THEIR WORSHIPS THE MAYORS OF LIMERICK, GALWAY, SLIGO AND WATERFORD,
[21503]    TWENTYEIGHT IRISH REPRESENTATIVE PEERS, SIRDARS, GRANDEES AND MAHARAJAHS
[21504]    BEARING THE CLOTH OF ESTATE, THE DUBLIN METROPOLITAN FIRE BRIGADE, THE
[21505]    CHAPTER OF THE SAINTS OF FINANCE IN THEIR PLUTOCRATIC ORDER OF
[21506]    PRECEDENCE, THE BISHOP OF DOWN AND CONNOR, HIS EMINENCE MICHAEL CARDINAL
[21507]    LOGUE, ARCHBISHOP OF ARMAGH, PRIMATE OF ALL IRELAND, HIS GRACE, THE MOST
[21508]    REVEREND DR WILLIAM ALEXANDER, ARCHBISHOP OF ARMAGH, PRIMATE OF ALL
[21509]    IRELAND, THE CHIEF RABBI, THE PRESBYTERIAN MODERATOR, THE HEADS OF THE
[21510]    BAPTIST, ANABAPTIST, METHODIST AND MORAVIAN CHAPELS AND THE HONORARY
[21511]    SECRETARY OF THE SOCIETY OF FRIENDS. AFTER THEM MARCH THE GUILDS AND
[21512]    TRADES AND TRAINBANDS WITH FLYING COLOURS: COOPERS, BIRD FANCIERS,
[21513]    MILLWRIGHTS, NEWSPAPER CANVASSERS, LAW SCRIVENERS, MASSEURS, VINTNERS,
[21514]    TRUSSMAKERS, CHIMNEYSWEEPS, LARD REFINERS, TABINET AND POPLIN WEAVERS,
[21515]    FARRIERS, ITALIAN WAREHOUSEMEN, CHURCH DECORATORS, BOOTJACK
[21516]    MANUFACTURERS, UNDERTAKERS, SILK MERCERS, LAPIDARIES, SALESMASTERS,
[21517]    CORKCUTTERS, ASSESSORS OF FIRE LOSSES, DYERS AND CLEANERS, EXPORT
[21518]    BOTTLERS, FELLMONGERS, TICKETWRITERS, HERALDIC SEAL ENGRAVERS, HORSE
[21519]    REPOSITORY HANDS, BULLION BROKERS, CRICKET AND ARCHERY OUTFITTERS,
[21520]    RIDDLEMAKERS, EGG AND POTATO FACTORS, HOSIERS AND GLOVERS, PLUMBING
[21521]    CONTRACTORS. AFTER THEM MARCH GENTLEMEN OF THE BEDCHAMBER, BLACK ROD,
[21522]    DEPUTY GARTER, GOLD STICK, THE MASTER OF HORSE, THE LORD GREAT
[21523]    CHAMBERLAIN, THE EARL MARSHAL, THE HIGH CONSTABLE CARRYING THE SWORD OF
[21524]    STATE, SAINT STEPHEN'S IRON CROWN, THE CHALICE AND BIBLE. FOUR BUGLERS ON
[21525]    FOOT BLOW A SENNET. BEEFEATERS REPLY, WINDING CLARIONS OF WELCOME. UNDER
[21526]    AN ARCH OF TRIUMPH BLOOM APPEARS, BAREHEADED, IN A CRIMSON VELVET MANTLE
[21527]    TRIMMED WITH ERMINE, BEARING SAINT EDWARD'S STAFF THE ORB AND SCEPTRE
[21528]    WITH THE DOVE, THE CURTANA. HE IS SEATED ON A MILKWHITE HORSE WITH LONG
[21529]    FLOWING CRIMSON TAIL, RICHLY CAPARISONED, WITH GOLDEN HEADSTALL. WILD
[21530]    EXCITEMENT. THE LADIES FROM THEIR BALCONIES THROW DOWN ROSEPETALS. THE
[21531]    AIR IS PERFUMED WITH ESSENCES. THE MEN CHEER. BLOOM'S BOYS RUN AMID THE
[21532]    BYSTANDERS WITH BRANCHES OF HAWTHORN AND WRENBUSHES.)
[21533]    
[21534]    BLOOM'S BOYS:
[21535]    
[21536]    
[21537]        The wren, the wren,
[21538]        The king of all birds,
[21539]        Saint Stephen's his day
[21540]        Was caught in the furze.
[21541]    
[21542]    
[21543]    A BLACKSMITH: (MURMURS) For the honour of God! And is that Bloom? He
[21544]    scarcely looks thirtyone.
[21545]    
[21546]    A PAVIOR AND FLAGGER: That's the famous Bloom now, the world's greatest
[21547]    reformer. Hats off!
[21548]    
[21549]    (ALL UNCOVER THEIR HEADS. WOMEN WHISPER EAGERLY.)
[21550]    
[21551]    A MILLIONAIRESS: (RICHLY) Isn't he simply wonderful?
[21552]    
[21553]    A NOBLEWOMAN: (NOBLY) All that man has seen!
[21554]    
[21555]    A FEMINIST: (MASCULINELY) And done!
[21556]    
[21557]    A BELLHANGER: A classic face! He has the forehead of a thinker.
[21558]    
[21559]    (BLOOM'S WEATHER. A SUNBURST APPEARS IN THE NORTHWEST.)
[21560]    
[21561]    THE BISHOP OF DOWN AND CONNOR: I here present your undoubted emperor-
[21562]    president and king-chairman, the most serene and potent and very puissant
[21563]    ruler of this realm. God save Leopold the First!
[21564]    
[21565]    ALL: God save Leopold the First!
[21566]    
[21567]    BLOOM: (IN DALMATIC AND PURPLE MANTLE, TO THE BISHOP OF DOWN AND CONNOR,
[21568]    WITH DIGNITY) Thanks, somewhat eminent sir.
[21569]    
[21570]    WILLIAM, ARCHBISHOP OF ARMAGH: (IN PURPLE STOCK AND SHOVEL HAT) Will you
[21571]    to your power cause law and mercy to be executed in all your judgments in
[21572]    Ireland and territories thereunto belonging?
[21573]    
[21574]    BLOOM: (PLACING HIS RIGHT HAND ON HIS TESTICLES, SWEARS) So may the
[21575]    Creator deal with me. All this I promise to do.
[21576]    
[21577]    MICHAEL, ARCHBISHOP OF ARMAGH: (POURS A CRUSE OF HAIROIL OVER BLOOM'S
[21578]    HEAD) GAUDIUM MAGNUM ANNUNTIO VOBIS. HABEMUS CARNEFICEM. Leopold,
[21579]    Patrick, Andrew, David, George, be thou anointed!
[21580]    
[21581]    (BLOOM ASSUMES A MANTLE OF CLOTH OF GOLD AND PUTS ON A RUBY RING. HE
[21582]    ASCENDS AND STANDS ON THE STONE OF DESTINY. THE REPRESENTATIVE PEERS PUT
[21583]    ON AT THE SAME TIME THEIR TWENTYEIGHT CROWNS. JOYBELLS RING IN CHRIST
[21584]    CHURCH, SAINT PATRICK'S, GEORGE'S AND GAY MALAHIDE. MIRUS BAZAAR
[21585]    FIREWORKS GO UP FROM ALL SIDES WITH SYMBOLICAL PHALLOPYROTECHNIC DESIGNS.
[21586]    THE PEERS DO HOMAGE, ONE BY ONE, APPROACHING AND GENUFLECTING.)
[21587]    
[21588]    THE PEERS: I do become your liege man of life and limb to earthly
[21589]    worship.
[21590]    
[21591]    (BLOOM HOLDS UP HIS RIGHT HAND ON WHICH SPARKLES THE KOH-I-NOOR DIAMOND.
[21592]    HIS PALFREY NEIGHS. IMMEDIATE SILENCE. WIRELESS INTERCONTINENTAL AND
[21593]    INTERPLANETARY TRANSMITTERS ARE SET FOR RECEPTION OF MESSAGE.)
[21594]    
[21595]    BLOOM: My subjects! We hereby nominate our faithful charger Copula Felix
[21596]    hereditary Grand Vizier and announce that we have this day repudiated our
[21597]    former spouse and have bestowed our royal hand upon the princess Selene,
[21598]    the splendour of night.
[21599]    
[21600]    (THE FORMER MORGANATIC SPOUSE OF BLOOM IS HASTILY REMOVED IN THE BLACK
[21601]    MARIA. THE PRINCESS SELENE, IN MOONBLUE ROBES, A SILVER CRESCENT ON HER
[21602]    HEAD, DESCENDS FROM A SEDAN CHAIR, BORNE BY TWO GIANTS. AN OUTBURST OF
[21603]    CHEERING.)
[21604]    
[21605]    JOHN HOWARD PARNELL: (RAISES THE ROYAL STANDARD) Illustrious Bloom!
[21606]    Successor to my famous brother!
[21607]    
[21608]    BLOOM: (EMBRACES JOHN HOWARD PARNELL) We thank you from our heart, John,
[21609]    for this right royal welcome to green Erin, the promised land of our
[21610]    common ancestors.
[21611]    
[21612]    (THE FREEDOM OF THE CITY IS PRESENTED TO HIM EMBODIED IN A CHARTER. THE
[21613]    KEYS OF DUBLIN, CROSSED ON A CRIMSON CUSHION, ARE GIVEN TO HIM. HE SHOWS
[21614]    ALL THAT HE IS WEARING GREEN SOCKS.)
[21615]    
[21616]    TOM KERNAN: You deserve it, your honour.
[21617]    
[21618]    BLOOM: On this day twenty years ago we overcame the hereditary enemy at
[21619]    Ladysmith. Our howitzers and camel swivel guns played on his lines with
[21620]    telling effect. Half a league onward! They charge! All is lost now! Do we
[21621]    yield? No! We drive them headlong! Lo! We charge! Deploying to the left
[21622]    our light horse swept across the heights of Plevna and, uttering their
[21623]    warcry BONAFIDE SABAOTH, sabred the Saracen gunners to a man.
[21624]    
[21625]    THE CHAPEL OF FREEMAN TYPESETTERS: Hear! Hear!
[21626]    
[21627]    JOHN WYSE NOLAN: There's the man that got away James Stephens.
[21628]    
[21629]    A BLUECOAT SCHOOLBOY: Bravo!
[21630]    
[21631]    AN OLD RESIDENT: You're a credit to your country, sir, that's what you
[21632]    are.
[21633]    
[21634]    AN APPLEWOMAN: He's a man like Ireland wants.
[21635]    
[21636]    BLOOM: My beloved subjects, a new era is about to dawn. I, Bloom, tell
[21637]    you verily it is even now at hand. Yea, on the word of a Bloom, ye shall
[21638]    ere long enter into the golden city which is to be, the new Bloomusalem
[21639]    in the Nova Hibernia of the future.
[21640]    
[21641]    (THIRTYTWO WORKMEN, WEARING ROSETTES, FROM ALL THE COUNTIES OF IRELAND,
[21642]    UNDER THE GUIDANCE OF DERWAN THE BUILDER, CONSTRUCT THE NEW BLOOMUSALEM.
[21643]    IT IS A COLOSSAL EDIFICE WITH CRYSTAL ROOF, BUILT IN THE SHAPE OF A HUGE
[21644]    PORK KIDNEY, CONTAINING FORTY THOUSAND ROOMS. IN THE COURSE OF ITS
[21645]    EXTENSION SEVERAL BUILDINGS AND MONUMENTS ARE DEMOLISHED. GOVERNMENT
[21646]    OFFICES ARE TEMPORARILY TRANSFERRED TO RAILWAY SHEDS. NUMEROUS HOUSES ARE
[21647]    RAZED TO THE GROUND. THE INHABITANTS ARE LODGED IN BARRELS AND BOXES, ALL
[21648]    MARKED IN RED WITH THE LETTERS: L. B. SEVERAL PAUPERS FILL FROM A LADDER.
[21649]    A PART OF THE WALLS OF DUBLIN, CROWDED WITH LOYAL SIGHTSEERS, COLLAPSES.)
[21650]    
[21651]    THE SIGHTSEERS: (DYING) MORITURI TE SALUTANT. (THEY DIE)
[21652]    
[21653]    (A MAN IN A BROWN MACINTOSH SPRINGS UP THROUGH A TRAPDOOR. HE POINTS AN
[21654]    ELONGATED FINGER AT BLOOM.)
[21655]    
[21656]    THE MAN IN THE MACINTOSH: Don't you believe a word he says. That man is
[21657]    Leopold M'Intosh, the notorious fireraiser. His real name is Higgins.
[21658]    
[21659]    BLOOM: Shoot him! Dog of a christian! So much for M'Intosh!
[21660]    
[21661]    (A CANNONSHOT. THE MAN IN THE MACINTOSH DISAPPEARS. BLOOM WITH HIS
[21662]    SCEPTRE STRIKES DOWN POPPIES. THE INSTANTANEOUS DEATHS OF MANY POWERFUL
[21663]    ENEMIES, GRAZIERS, MEMBERS OF PARLIAMENT, MEMBERS OF STANDING COMMITTEES,
[21664]    ARE REPORTED. BLOOM'S BODYGUARD DISTRIBUTE MAUNDY MONEY, COMMEMORATION
[21665]    MEDALS, LOAVES AND FISHES, TEMPERANCE BADGES, EXPENSIVE HENRY CLAY
[21666]    CIGARS, FREE COWBONES FOR SOUP, RUBBER PRESERVATIVES IN SEALED ENVELOPES
[21667]    TIED WITH GOLD THREAD, BUTTER SCOTCH, PINEAPPLE ROCK, billets doux IN THE
[21668]    FORM OF COCKED HATS, READYMADE SUITS, PORRINGERS OF TOAD IN THE HOLE,
[21669]    BOTTLES OF JEYES' FLUID, PURCHASE STAMPS, 40 DAYS' INDULGENCES, SPURIOUS
[21670]    COINS, DAIRYFED PORK SAUSAGES, THEATRE PASSES, SEASON TICKETS AVAILABLE
[21671]    FOR ALL TRAMLINES, COUPONS OF THE ROYAL AND PRIVILEGED HUNGARIAN LOTTERY,
[21672]    PENNY DINNER COUNTERS, CHEAP REPRINTS OF THE WORLD'S TWELVE WORST BOOKS:
[21673]    FROGGY AND FRITZ (POLITIC), CARE OF THE BABY (INFANTILIC), 50 MEALS FOR
[21674]    7/6 (CULINIC), WAS JESUS A SUN MYTH? (HISTORIC), EXPEL THAT PAIN (MEDIC),
[21675]    INFANT'S COMPENDIUM OF THE UNIVERSE (COSMIC), LET'S ALL CHORTLE
[21676]    (HILARIC), CANVASSER'S VADE MECUM (JOURNALIC), LOVELETTERS OF MOTHER
[21677]    ASSISTANT (EROTIC), WHO'S WHO IN SPACE (ASTRIC), SONGS THAT REACHED OUR
[21678]    HEART (MELODIC), PENNYWISE'S WAY TO WEALTH (PARSIMONIC). A GENERAL RUSH
[21679]    AND SCRAMBLE. WOMEN PRESS FORWARD TO TOUCH THE HEM OF BLOOM'S ROBE. THE
[21680]    LADY GWENDOLEN DUBEDAT BURSTS THROUGH THE THRONG, LEAPS ON HIS HORSE AND
[21681]    KISSES HIM ON BOTH CHEEKS AMID GREAT ACCLAMATION. A MAGNESIUM FLASHLIGHT
[21682]    PHOTOGRAPH IS TAKEN. BABES AND SUCKLINGS ARE HELD UP.)
[21683]    
[21684]    THE WOMEN: Little father! Little father!
[21685]    
[21686]    THE BABES AND SUCKLINGS:
[21687]    
[21688]    
[21689]        Clap clap hands till Poldy comes home,
[21690]        Cakes in his pocket for Leo alone.
[21691]    
[21692]    
[21693]    (BLOOM, BENDING DOWN, POKES BABY BOARDMAN GENTLY IN THE STOMACH.)
[21694]    
[21695]    BABY BOARDMAN: (HICCUPS, CURDLED MILK FLOWING FROM HIS MOUTH) Hajajaja.
[21696]    
[21697]    BLOOM: (SHAKING HANDS WITH A BLIND STRIPLING) My more than Brother!
[21698]    (PLACING HIS ARMS ROUND THE SHOULDERS OF AN OLD COUPLE) Dear old friends!
[21699]    (HE PLAYS PUSSY FOURCORNERS WITH RAGGED BOYS AND GIRLS) Peep! Bopeep! (HE
[21700]    WHEELS TWINS IN A PERAMBULATOR) Ticktacktwo wouldyousetashoe? (HE
[21701]    PERFORMS JUGGLER'S TRICKS, DRAWS RED, ORANGE, YELLOW, GREEN, BLUE, INDIGO
[21702]    AND VIOLET SILK HANDKERCHIEFS FROM HIS MOUTH) Roygbiv. 32 feet per
[21703]    second. (HE CONSOLES A WIDOW) Absence makes the heart grow younger. (HE
[21704]    DANCES THE HIGHLAND FLING WITH GROTESQUE ANTICS) Leg it, ye devils! (HE
[21705]    KISSES THE BEDSORES OF A PALSIED VETERAN) Honourable wounds! (HE TRIPS UP
[21706]    A FIT POLICEMAN) U. p: up. U. p: up. (HE WHISPERS IN THE EAR OF A
[21707]    BLUSHING WAITRESS AND LAUGHS KINDLY) Ah, naughty, naughty! (HE EATS A RAW
[21708]    TURNIP OFFERED HIM BY MAURICE BUTTERLY, FARMER) Fine! Splendid! (HE
[21709]    REFUSES TO ACCEPT THREE SHILLINGS OFFERED HIM BY JOSEPH HYNES,
[21710]    JOURNALIST) My dear fellow, not at all! (HE GIVES HIS COAT TO A BEGGAR)
[21711]    Please accept. (HE TAKES PART IN A STOMACH RACE WITH ELDERLY MALE AND
[21712]    FEMALE CRIPPLES) Come on, boys! Wriggle it, girls!
[21713]    
[21714]    THE CITIZEN: (CHOKED WITH EMOTION, BRUSHES ASIDE A TEAR IN HIS EMERALD
[21715]    MUFFLER) May the good God bless him!
[21716]    
[21717]    (THE RAMS' HORNS SOUND FOR SILENCE. THE STANDARD OF ZION IS HOISTED.)
[21718]    
[21719]    BLOOM: (UNCLOAKS IMPRESSIVELY, REVEALING OBESITY, UNROLLS A PAPER AND
[21720]    READS SOLEMNLY) Aleph Beth Ghimel Daleth Hagadah Tephilim Kosher Yom
[21721]    Kippur Hanukah Roschaschana Beni Brith Bar Mitzvah Mazzoth Askenazim
[21722]    Meshuggah Talith.
[21723]    
[21724]    (AN OFFICIAL TRANSLATION IS READ BY JIMMY HENRY, ASSISTANT TOWN CLERK.)
[21725]    
[21726]    JIMMY HENRY: The Court of Conscience is now open. His Most Catholic
[21727]    Majesty will now administer open air justice. Free medical and legal
[21728]    advice, solution of doubles and other problems. All cordially invited.
[21729]    Given at this our loyal city of Dublin in the year I of the Paradisiacal
[21730]    Era.
[21731]    
[21732]    PADDY LEONARD: What am I to do about my rates and taxes?
[21733]    
[21734]    BLOOM: Pay them, my friend.
[21735]    
[21736]    PADDY LEONARD: Thank you.
[21737]    
[21738]    NOSEY FLYNN: Can I raise a mortgage on my fire insurance?
[21739]    
[21740]    BLOOM: (OBDURATELY) Sirs, take notice that by the law of torts you are
[21741]    bound over in your own recognisances for six months in the sum of five
[21742]    pounds.
[21743]    
[21744]    J. J. O'MOLLOY: A Daniel did I say? Nay! A Peter O'Brien!
[21745]    
[21746]    NOSEY FLYNN: Where do I draw the five pounds?
[21747]    
[21748]    PISSER BURKE: For bladder trouble?
[21749]    
[21750]    BLOOM:
[21751]    
[21752]    
[21753]        ACID. NIT. HYDROCHLOR. DIL., 20 minims
[21754]        TINCT. NUX VOM., 5 minims
[21755]        EXTR. TARAXEL. IIQ., 30 minims.
[21756]        AQ. DIS. TER IN DIE.
[21757]    
[21758]    
[21759]    CHRIS CALLINAN: What is the parallax of the subsolar ecliptic of
[21760]    Aldebaran?
[21761]    
[21762]    BLOOM: Pleased to hear from you, Chris. K. II.
[21763]    
[21764]    JOE HYNES: Why aren't you in uniform?
[21765]    
[21766]    BLOOM: When my progenitor of sainted memory wore the uniform of the
[21767]    Austrian despot in a dank prison where was yours?
[21768]    
[21769]    BEN DOLLARD: Pansies?
[21770]    
[21771]    BLOOM: Embellish (beautify) suburban gardens.
[21772]    
[21773]    BEN DOLLARD: When twins arrive?
[21774]    
[21775]    BLOOM: Father (pater, dad) starts thinking.
[21776]    
[21777]    LARRY O'ROURKE: An eightday licence for my new premises. You remember me,
[21778]    sir Leo, when you were in number seven. I'm sending around a dozen of
[21779]    stout for the missus.
[21780]    
[21781]    BLOOM: (COLDLY) You have the advantage of me. Lady Bloom accepts no
[21782]    presents.
[21783]    
[21784]    CROFTON: This is indeed a festivity.
[21785]    
[21786]    BLOOM: (SOLEMNLY) You call it a festivity. I call it a sacrament.
[21787]    
[21788]    ALEXANDER KEYES: When will we have our own house of keys?
[21789]    
[21790]    BLOOM: I stand for the reform of municipal morals and the plain ten
[21791]    commandments. New worlds for old. Union of all, jew, moslem and gentile.
[21792]    Three acres and a cow for all children of nature. Saloon motor hearses.
[21793]    Compulsory manual labour for all. All parks open to the public day and
[21794]    night. Electric dishscrubbers. Tuberculosis, lunacy, war and mendicancy
[21795]    must now cease. General amnesty, weekly carnival with masked licence,
[21796]    bonuses for all, esperanto the universal language with universal
[21797]    brotherhood. No more patriotism of barspongers and dropsical impostors.
[21798]    Free money, free rent, free love and a free lay church in a free lay
[21799]    state.
[21800]    
[21801]    O'MADDEN BURKE: Free fox in a free henroost.
[21802]    
[21803]    DAVY BYRNE: (YAWNING) Iiiiiiiiiaaaaaaach!
[21804]    
[21805]    BLOOM: Mixed races and mixed marriage.
[21806]    
[21807]    LENEHAN: What about mixed bathing?
[21808]    
[21809]    (BLOOM EXPLAINS TO THOSE NEAR HIM HIS SCHEMES FOR SOCIAL REGENERATION.
[21810]    ALL AGREE WITH HIM. THE KEEPER OF THE KILDARE STREET MUSEUM APPEARS,
[21811]    DRAGGING A LORRY ON WHICH ARE THE SHAKING STATUES OF SEVERAL NAKED
[21812]    GODDESSES, VENUS CALLIPYGE, VENUS PANDEMOS, VENUS METEMPSYCHOSIS, AND
[21813]    PLASTER FIGURES, ALSO NAKED, REPRESENTING THE NEW NINE MUSES, COMMERCE,
[21814]    OPERATIC MUSIC, AMOR, PUBLICITY, MANUFACTURE, LIBERTY OF SPEECH, PLURAL
[21815]    VOTING, GASTRONOMY, PRIVATE HYGIENE, SEASIDE CONCERT ENTERTAINMENTS,
[21816]    PAINLESS OBSTETRICS AND ASTRONOMY FOR THE PEOPLE.)
[21817]    
[21818]    FATHER FARLEY: He is an episcopalian, an agnostic, an anythingarian
[21819]    seeking to overthrow our holy faith.
[21820]    
[21821]    MRS RIORDAN: (TEARS UP HER WILL) I'm disappointed in you! You bad man!
[21822]    
[21823]    MOTHER GROGAN: (REMOVES HER BOOT TO THROW IT AT BLOOM) You beast! You
[21824]    abominable person!
[21825]    
[21826]    NOSEY FLYNN: Give us a tune, Bloom. One of the old sweet songs.
[21827]    
[21828]    BLOOM: (WITH ROLLICKING HUMOUR)
[21829]    
[21830]    
[21831]        I vowed that I never would leave her,
[21832]        She turned out a cruel deceiver.
[21833]        With my tooraloom tooraloom tooraloom tooraloom.
[21834]    
[21835]    
[21836]    HOPPY HOLOHAN: Good old Bloom! There's nobody like him after all.
[21837]    
[21838]    PADDY LEONARD: Stage Irishman!
[21839]    
[21840]    BLOOM: What railway opera is like a tramline in Gibraltar? The Rows of
[21841]    Casteele. (LAUGHTER.)
[21842]    
[21843]    LENEHAN: Plagiarist! Down with Bloom!
[21844]    
[21845]    THE VEILED SIBYL: (ENTHUSIASTICALLY) I'm a Bloomite and I glory in it. I
[21846]    believe in him in spite of all. I'd give my life for him, the funniest
[21847]    man on earth.
[21848]    
[21849]    BLOOM: (WINKS AT THE BYSTANDERS) I bet she's a bonny lassie.
[21850]    
[21851]    THEODORE PUREFOY: (IN FISHINGCAP AND OILSKIN JACKET) He employs a
[21852]    mechanical device to frustrate the sacred ends of nature.
[21853]    
[21854]    THE VEILED SIBYL: (STABS HERSELF) My hero god! (SHE DIES)
[21855]    
[21856]    (MANY MOST ATTRACTIVE AND ENTHUSIASTIC WOMEN ALSO COMMIT SUICIDE BY
[21857]    STABBING, DROWNING, DRINKING PRUSSIC ACID, ACONITE, ARSENIC, OPENING
[21858]    THEIR VEINS, REFUSING FOOD, CASTING THEMSELVES UNDER STEAMROLLERS, FROM
[21859]    THE TOP OF NELSON'S PILLAR, INTO THE GREAT VAT OF GUINNESS'S BREWERY,
[21860]    ASPHYXIATING THEMSELVES BY PLACING THEIR HEADS IN GASOVENS, HANGING
[21861]    THEMSELVES IN STYLISH GARTERS, LEAPING FROM WINDOWS OF DIFFERENT
[21862]    STOREYS.)
[21863]    
[21864]    ALEXANDER J DOWIE: (VIOLENTLY) Fellowchristians and antiBloomites, the
[21865]    man called Bloom is from the roots of hell, a disgrace to christian men.
[21866]    A fiendish libertine from his earliest years this stinking goat of Mendes
[21867]    gave precocious signs of infantile debauchery, recalling the cities of
[21868]    the plain, with a dissolute granddam. This vile hypocrite, bronzed with
[21869]    infamy, is the white bull mentioned in the Apocalypse. A worshipper of
[21870]    the Scarlet Woman, intrigue is the very breath of his nostrils. The stake
[21871]    faggots and the caldron of boiling oil are for him. Caliban!
[21872]    
[21873]    THE MOB: Lynch him! Roast him! He's as bad as Parnell was. Mr Fox!
[21874]    
[21875]    (MOTHER GROGAN THROWS HER BOOT AT BLOOM. SEVERAL SHOPKEEPERS FROM UPPER
[21876]    AND LOWER DORSET STREET THROW OBJECTS OF LITTLE OR NO COMMERCIAL VALUE,
[21877]    HAMBONES, CONDENSED MILK TINS, UNSALEABLE CABBAGE, STALE BREAD, SHEEP'S
[21878]    TAILS, ODD PIECES OF FAT.)
[21879]    
[21880]    BLOOM: (EXCITEDLY) This is midsummer madness, some ghastly joke again. By
[21881]    heaven, I am guiltless as the unsunned snow! It was my brother Henry. He
[21882]    is my double. He lives in number 2 Dolphin's Barn. Slander, the viper,
[21883]    has wrongfully accused me. Fellowcountrymen, SGENL INN BAN BATA COISDE
[21884]    GAN CAPALL. I call on my old friend, Dr Malachi Mulligan, sex specialist,
[21885]    to give medical testimony on my behalf.
[21886]    
[21887]    DR MULLIGAN: (IN MOTOR JERKIN, GREEN MOTORGOGGLES ON HIS BROW) Dr Bloom
[21888]    is bisexually abnormal. He has recently escaped from Dr Eustace's private
[21889]    asylum for demented gentlemen. Born out of bedlock hereditary epilepsy is
[21890]    present, the consequence of unbridled lust. Traces of elephantiasis have
[21891]    been discovered among his ascendants. There are marked symptoms of
[21892]    chronic exhibitionism. Ambidexterity is also latent. He is prematurely
[21893]    bald from selfabuse, perversely idealistic in consequence, a reformed
[21894]    rake, and has metal teeth. In consequence of a family complex he has
[21895]    temporarily lost his memory and I believe him to be more sinned against
[21896]    than sinning. I have made a pervaginal examination and, after application
[21897]    of the acid test to 5427 anal, axillary, pectoral and pubic hairs, I
[21898]    declare him to be VIRGO INTACTA.
[21899]    
[21900]    (BLOOM HOLDS HIS HIGH GRADE HAT OVER HIS GENITAL ORGANS.)
[21901]    
[21902]    DR MADDEN: Hypsospadia is also marked. In the interest of coming
[21903]    generations I suggest that the parts affected should be preserved in
[21904]    spirits of wine in the national teratological museum.
[21905]    
[21906]    DR CROTTHERS: I have examined the patient's urine. It is albuminoid.
[21907]    Salivation is insufficient, the patellar reflex intermittent.
[21908]    
[21909]    DR PUNCH COSTELLO: The FETOR JUDAICUS is most perceptible.
[21910]    
[21911]    DR DIXON: (READS A BILL OF HEALTH) Professor Bloom is a finished example
[21912]    of the new womanly man. His moral nature is simple and lovable. Many have
[21913]    found him a dear man, a dear person. He is a rather quaint fellow on the
[21914]    whole, coy though not feebleminded in the medical sense. He has written a
[21915]    really beautiful letter, a poem in itself, to the court missionary of the
[21916]    Reformed Priests' Protection Society which clears up everything. He is
[21917]    practically a total abstainer and I can affirm that he sleeps on a straw
[21918]    litter and eats the most Spartan food, cold dried grocer's peas. He wears
[21919]    a hairshirt of pure Irish manufacture winter and summer and scourges
[21920]    himself every Saturday. He was, I understand, at one time a firstclass
[21921]    misdemeanant in Glencree reformatory. Another report states that he was a
[21922]    very posthumous child. I appeal for clemency in the name of the most
[21923]    sacred word our vocal organs have ever been called upon to speak. He is
[21924]    about to have a baby.
[21925]    
[21926]    (GENERAL COMMOTION AND COMPASSION. WOMEN FAINT. A WEALTHY AMERICAN MAKES
[21927]    A STREET COLLECTION FOR BLOOM. GOLD AND SILVER COINS, BLANK CHEQUES,
[21928]    BANKNOTES, JEWELS, TREASURY BONDS, MATURING BILLS OF EXCHANGE, I. O. U'S,
[21929]    WEDDING RINGS, WATCHCHAINS, LOCKETS, NECKLACES AND BRACELETS ARE RAPIDLY
[21930]    COLLECTED.)
[21931]    
[21932]    BLOOM: O, I so want to be a mother.
[21933]    
[21934]    MRS THORNTON: (IN NURSETENDER'S GOWN) Embrace me tight, dear. You'll be
[21935]    soon over it. Tight, dear.
[21936]    
[21937]    (BLOOM EMBRACES HER TIGHTLY AND BEARS EIGHT MALE YELLOW AND WHITE
[21938]    CHILDREN. THEY APPEAR ON A REDCARPETED STAIRCASE ADORNED WITH EXPENSIVE
[21939]    PLANTS. ALL THE OCTUPLETS ARE HANDSOME, WITH VALUABLE METALLIC FACES,
[21940]    WELLMADE, RESPECTABLY DRESSED AND WELLCONDUCTED, SPEAKING FIVE MODERN
[21941]    LANGUAGES FLUENTLY AND INTERESTED IN VARIOUS ARTS AND SCIENCES. EACH HAS
[21942]    HIS NAME PRINTED IN LEGIBLE LETTERS ON HIS SHIRTFRONT: NASODORO,
[21943]    GOLDFINGER, CHRYSOSTOMOS, MAINDOREE, SILVERSMILE, SILBERSELBER,
[21944]    VIFARGENT, PANARGYROS. THEY ARE IMMEDIATELY APPOINTED TO POSITIONS OF
[21945]    HIGH PUBLIC TRUST IN SEVERAL DIFFERENT COUNTRIES AS MANAGING DIRECTORS OF
[21946]    BANKS, TRAFFIC MANAGERS OF RAILWAYS, CHAIRMEN OF LIMITED LIABILITY
[21947]    COMPANIES, VICECHAIRMEN OF HOTEL SYNDICATES.)
[21948]    
[21949]    A VOICE: Bloom, are you the Messiah ben Joseph or ben David?
[21950]    
[21951]    BLOOM: (DARKLY) You have said it.
[21952]    
[21953]    BROTHER BUZZ: Then perform a miracle like Father Charles.
[21954]    
[21955]    BANTAM LYONS: Prophesy who will win the Saint Leger.
[21956]    
[21957]    (BLOOM WALKS ON A NET, COVERS HIS LEFT EYE WITH HIS LEFT EAR, PASSES
[21958]    THROUGH SEVERAL WALLS, CLIMBS NELSON'S PILLAR, HANGS FROM THE TOP LEDGE
[21959]    BY HIS EYELIDS, EATS TWELVE DOZEN OYSTERS (SHELLS INCLUDED), HEALS
[21960]    SEVERAL SUFFERERS FROM KING'S EVIL, CONTRACTS HIS FACE SO AS TO RESEMBLE
[21961]    MANY HISTORICAL PERSONAGES, LORD BEACONSFIELD, LORD BYRON, WAT TYLER,
[21962]    MOSES OF EGYPT, MOSES MAIMONIDES, MOSES MENDELSSOHN, HENRY IRVING, RIP
[21963]    VAN WINKLE, KOSSUTH, JEAN JACQUES ROUSSEAU, BARON LEOPOLD ROTHSCHILD,
[21964]    ROBINSON CRUSOE, SHERLOCK HOLMES, PASTEUR, TURNS EACH FOOT SIMULTANEOUSLY
[21965]    IN DIFFERENT DIRECTIONS, BIDS THE TIDE TURN BACK, ECLIPSES THE SUN BY
[21966]    EXTENDING HIS LITTLE FINGER.)
[21967]    
[21968]    BRINI, PAPAL NUNCIO: (IN PAPAL ZOUAVE'S UNIFORM, STEEL CUIRASSES AS
[21969]    BREASTPLATE, ARMPLATES, THIGHPLATES, LEGPLATES, LARGE PROFANE MOUSTACHES
[21970]    AND BROWN PAPER MITRE) LEOPOLDI AUTEM GENERATIO. Moses begat Noah and
[21971]    Noah begat Eunuch and Eunuch begat O'Halloran and O'Halloran begat
[21972]    Guggenheim and Guggenheim begat Agendath and Agendath begat Netaim and
[21973]    Netaim begat Le Hirsch and Le Hirsch begat Jesurum and Jesurum begat
[21974]    MacKay and MacKay begat Ostrolopsky and Ostrolopsky begat Smerdoz and
[21975]    Smerdoz begat Weiss and Weiss begat Schwarz and Schwarz begat Adrianopoli
[21976]    and Adrianopoli begat Aranjuez and Aranjuez begat Lewy Lawson and Lewy
[21977]    Lawson begat Ichabudonosor and Ichabudonosor begat O'Donnell Magnus and
[21978]    O'Donnell Magnus begat Christbaum and Christbaum begat ben Maimun and ben
[21979]    Maimun begat Dusty Rhodes and Dusty Rhodes begat Benamor and Benamor
[21980]    begat Jones-Smith and Jones-Smith begat Savorgnanovich and Savorgnanovich
[21981]    begat Jasperstone and Jasperstone begat Vingtetunieme and Vingtetunieme
[21982]    begat Szombathely and Szombathely begat Virag and Virag begat Bloom ET
[21983]    VOCABITUR NOMEN EIUS EMMANUEL.
[21984]    
[21985]    A DEADHAND: (WRITES ON THE WALL) Bloom is a cod.
[21986]    
[21987]    CRAB: (IN BUSHRANGER'S KIT) What did you do in the cattlecreep behind
[21988]    Kilbarrack?
[21989]    
[21990]    A FEMALE INFANT: (SHAKES A RATTLE) And under Ballybough bridge?
[21991]    
[21992]    A HOLLYBUSH: And in the devil's glen?
[21993]    
[21994]    BLOOM: (BLUSHES FURIOUSLY ALL OVER FROM FRONS TO NATES, THREE TEARS
[21995]    FILLING FROM HIS LEFT EYE) Spare my past.
[21996]    
[21997]    THE IRISH EVICTED TENANTS: (IN BODYCOATS, KNEEBREECHES, WITH DONNYBROOK
[21998]    FAIR SHILLELAGHS) Sjambok him!
[21999]    
[22000]    (BLOOM WITH ASSES' EARS SEATS HIMSELF IN THE PILLORY WITH CROSSED ARMS,
[22001]    HIS FEET PROTRUDING. HE WHISTLES Don Giovanni, a cenar teco. ARTANE
[22002]    ORPHANS, JOINING HANDS, CAPER ROUND HIM. GIRLS OF THE PRISON GATE
[22003]    MISSION, JOINING HANDS, CAPER ROUND IN THE OPPOSITE DIRECTION.)
[22004]    
[22005]    THE ARTANE ORPHANS:
[22006]    
[22007]    
[22008]        You hig, you hog, you dirty dog!
[22009]        You think the ladies love you!
[22010]    
[22011]    
[22012]    THE PRISON GATE GIRLS:
[22013]    
[22014]    
[22015]        If you see Kay
[22016]        Tell him he may
[22017]        See you in tea
[22018]        Tell him from me.
[22019]    
[22020]    
[22021]    HORNBLOWER: (IN EPHOD AND HUNTINGCAP, ANNOUNCES) And he shall carry the
[22022]    sins of the people to Azazel, the spirit which is in the wilderness, and
[22023]    to Lilith, the nighthag. And they shall stone him and defile him, yea,
[22024]    all from Agendath Netaim and from Mizraim, the land of Ham.
[22025]    
[22026]    (ALL THE PEOPLE CAST SOFT PANTOMIME STONES AT BLOOM. MANY BONAFIDE
[22027]    TRAVELLERS AND OWNERLESS DOGS COME NEAR HIM AND DEFILE HIM. MASTIANSKY
[22028]    AND CITRON APPROACH IN GABERDINES, WEARING LONG EARLOCKS. THEY WAG THEIR
[22029]    BEARDS AT BLOOM.)
[22030]    
[22031]    MASTIANSKY AND CITRON: Belial! Laemlein of Istria, the false Messiah!
[22032]    Abulafia! Recant!
[22033]    
[22034]    (GEORGE R MESIAS, BLOOM'S TAILOR, APPEARS, A TAILOR'S GOOSE UNDER HIS
[22035]    ARM, PRESENTING A BILL)
[22036]    
[22037]    MESIAS: To alteration one pair trousers eleven shillings.
[22038]    
[22039]    BLOOM: (RUBS HIS HANDS CHEERFULLY) Just like old times. Poor Bloom!
[22040]    
[22041]    (REUBEN J DODD, BLACKBEARDED ISCARIOT, BAD SHEPHERD, BEARING ON HIS
[22042]    SHOULDERS THE DROWNED CORPSE OF HIS SON, APPROACHES THE PILLORY.)
[22043]    
[22044]    REUBEN J: (WHISPERS HOARSELY) The squeak is out. A split is gone for the
[22045]    flatties. Nip the first rattler.
[22046]    
[22047]    THE FIRE BRIGADE: Pflaap!
[22048]    
[22049]    BROTHER BUZZ: (INVESTS BLOOM IN A YELLOW HABIT WITH EMBROIDERY OF PAINTED
[22050]    FLAMES AND HIGH POINTED HAT. HE PLACES A BAG OF GUNPOWDER ROUND HIS NECK
[22051]    AND HANDS HIM OVER TO THE CIVIL POWER, SAYING) Forgive him his
[22052]    trespasses.
[22053]    
[22054]    (LIEUTENANT MYERS OF THE DUBLIN FIRE BRIGADE BY GENERAL REQUEST SETS FIRE
[22055]    TO BLOOM. LAMENTATIONS.)
[22056]    
[22057]    THE CITIZEN: Thank heaven!
[22058]    
[22059]    BLOOM: (IN A SEAMLESS GARMENT MARKED I. H. S. STANDS UPRIGHT AMID PHOENIX
[22060]    FLAMES) Weep not for me, O daughters of Erin.
[22061]    
[22062]    (HE EXHIBITS TO DUBLIN REPORTERS TRACES OF BURNING. THE DAUGHTERS OF
[22063]    ERIN, IN BLACK GARMENTS, WITH LARGE PRAYERBOOKS AND LONG LIGHTED CANDLES
[22064]    IN THEIR HANDS, KNEEL DOWN AND PRAY.)
[22065]    
[22066]    THE DAUGHTERS OF ERIN:
[22067]    
[22068]    
[22069]        Kidney of Bloom, pray for us
[22070]        Flower of the Bath, pray for us
[22071]        Mentor of Menton, pray for us
[22072]        Canvasser for the Freeman, pray for us
[22073]        Charitable Mason, pray for us
[22074]        Wandering Soap, pray for us
[22075]        Sweets of Sin, pray for us
[22076]        Music without Words, pray for us
[22077]        Reprover of the Citizen, pray for us
[22078]        Friend of all Frillies, pray for us
[22079]        Midwife Most Merciful, pray for us
[22080]        Potato Preservative against Plague and Pestilence, pray for us.
[22081]    
[22082]    
[22083]    (A CHOIR OF SIX HUNDRED VOICES, CONDUCTED BY VINCENT O'BRIEN, SINGS THE
[22084]    CHORUS FROM HANDEL'S MESSIAH ALLELUIA FOR THE LORD GOD OMNIPOTENT
[22085]    REIGNETH, ACCOMPANIED ON THE ORGAN BY JOSEPH GLYNN. BLOOM BECOMES MUTE,
[22086]    SHRUNKEN, CARBONISED.)
[22087]    
[22088]    ZOE: Talk away till you're black in the face.
[22089]    
[22090]    BLOOM: (IN CAUBEEN WITH CLAY PIPE STUCK IN THE BAND, DUSTY BROGUES, AN
[22091]    EMIGRANT'S RED HANDKERCHIEF BUNDLE IN HIS HAND, LEADING A BLACK BOGOAK
[22092]    PIG BY A SUGAUN, WITH A SMILE IN HIS EYE) Let me be going now, woman of
[22093]    the house, for by all the goats in Connemara I'm after having the father
[22094]    and mother of a bating. (WITH A TEAR IN HIS EYE) All insanity.
[22095]    Patriotism, sorrow for the dead, music, future of the race. To be or not
[22096]    to be. Life's dream is o'er. End it peacefully. They can live on. (HE
[22097]    GAZES FAR AWAY MOURNFULLY) I am ruined. A few pastilles of aconite. The
[22098]    blinds drawn. A letter. Then lie back to rest. (HE BREATHES SOFTLY) No
[22099]    more. I have lived. Fare. Farewell.
[22100]    
[22101]    ZOE: (STIFFLY, HER FINGER IN HER NECKFILLET) Honest? Till the next time.
[22102]    (SHE SNEERS) Suppose you got up the wrong side of the bed or came too
[22103]    quick with your best girl. O, I can read your thoughts!
[22104]    
[22105]    BLOOM: (BITTERLY) Man and woman, love, what is it? A cork and bottle. I'm
[22106]    sick of it. Let everything rip.
[22107]    
[22108]    ZOE: (IN SUDDEN SULKS) I hate a rotter that's insincere. Give a bleeding
[22109]    whore a chance.
[22110]    
[22111]    BLOOM: (REPENTANTLY) I am very disagreeable. You are a necessary evil.
[22112]    Where are you from? London?
[22113]    
[22114]    ZOE: (GLIBLY) Hog's Norton where the pigs plays the organs. I'm Yorkshire
[22115]    born. (SHE HOLDS HIS HAND WHICH IS FEELING FOR HER NIPPLE) I say, Tommy
[22116]    Tittlemouse. Stop that and begin worse. Have you cash for a short time?
[22117]    Ten shillings?
[22118]    
[22119]    BLOOM: (SMILES, NODS SLOWLY) More, houri, more.
[22120]    
[22121]    ZOE: And more's mother? (SHE PATS HIM OFFHANDEDLY WITH VELVET PAWS) Are
[22122]    you coming into the musicroom to see our new pianola? Come and I'll peel
[22123]    off.
[22124]    
[22125]    BLOOM: (FEELING HIS OCCIPUT DUBIOUSLY WITH THE UNPARALLELED EMBARRASSMENT
[22126]    OF A HARASSED PEDLAR GAUGING THE SYMMETRY OF HER PEELED PEARS) Somebody
[22127]    would be dreadfully jealous if she knew. The greeneyed monster.
[22128]    (EARNESTLY) You know how difficult it is. I needn't tell you.
[22129]    
[22130]    ZOE: (FLATTERED) What the eye can't see the heart can't grieve for. (SHE
[22131]    PATS HIM) Come.
[22132]    
[22133]    BLOOM: Laughing witch! The hand that rocks the cradle.
[22134]    
[22135]    ZOE: Babby!
[22136]    
[22137]    BLOOM: (IN BABYLINEN AND PELISSE, BIGHEADED, WITH A CAUL OF DARK HAIR,
[22138]    FIXES BIG EYES ON HER FLUID SLIP AND COUNTS ITS BRONZE BUCKLES WITH A
[22139]    CHUBBY FINGER, HIS MOIST TONGUE LOLLING AND LISPING) One two tlee: tlee
[22140]    tlwo tlone.
[22141]    
[22142]    THE BUCKLES: Love me. Love me not. Love me.
[22143]    
[22144]    ZOE: Silent means consent. (WITH LITTLE PARTED TALONS SHE CAPTURES HIS
[22145]    HAND, HER FOREFINGER GIVING TO HIS PALM THE PASSTOUCH OF SECRET MONITOR,
[22146]    LURING HIM TO DOOM.) Hot hands cold gizzard.
[22147]    
[22148]    (HE HESITATES AMID SCENTS, MUSIC, TEMPTATIONS. SHE LEADS HIM TOWARDS THE
[22149]    STEPS, DRAWING HIM BY THE ODOUR OF HER ARMPITS, THE VICE OF HER PAINTED
[22150]    EYES, THE RUSTLE OF HER SLIP IN WHOSE SINUOUS FOLDS LURKS THE LION REEK
[22151]    OF ALL THE MALE BRUTES THAT HAVE POSSESSED HER.)
[22152]    
[22153]    THE MALE BRUTES: (EXHALING SULPHUR OF RUT AND DUNG AND RAMPING IN THEIR
[22154]    LOOSEBOX, FAINTLY ROARING, THEIR DRUGGED HEADS SWAYING TO AND FRO) Good!
[22155]    
[22156]    (ZOE AND BLOOM REACH THE DOORWAY WHERE TWO SISTER WHORES ARE SEATED. THEY
[22157]    EXAMINE HIM CURIOUSLY FROM UNDER THEIR PENCILLED BROWS AND SMILE TO HIS
[22158]    HASTY BOW. HE TRIPS AWKWARDLY.)
[22159]    
[22160]    ZOE: (HER LUCKY HAND INSTANTLY SAVING HIM) Hoopsa! Don't fall upstairs.
[22161]    
[22162]    BLOOM: The just man falls seven times. (HE STANDS ASIDE AT THE THRESHOLD)
[22163]    After you is good manners.
[22164]    
[22165]    ZOE: Ladies first, gentlemen after.
[22166]    
[22167]    (SHE CROSSES THE THRESHOLD. HE HESITATES. SHE TURNS AND, HOLDING OUT HER
[22168]    HANDS, DRAWS HIM OVER. HE HOPS. ON THE ANTLERED RACK OF THE HALL HANG A
[22169]    MAN 'S HAT AND WATERPROOF. BLOOM UNCOVERS HIMSELF BUT, SEEING THEM,
[22170]    FROWNS, THEN SMILES, PREOCCUPIED. A DOOR ON THE RETURN LANDING IS FLUNG
[22171]    OPEN. A MAN IN PURPLE SHIRT AND GREY TROUSERS, BROWNSOCKED, PASSES WITH
[22172]    AN APE'S GAIT, HIS BALD HEAD AND GOATEE BEARD UPHELD, HUGGING A FULL
[22173]    WATERJUGJAR, HIS TWOTAILED BLACK BRACES DANGLING AT HEELS. AVERTING HIS
[22174]    FACE QUICKLY BLOOM BENDS TO EXAMINE ON THE HALLTABLE THE SPANIEL EYES OF
[22175]    A RUNNING FOX: THEN, HIS LIFTED HEAD SNIFFING, FOLLOWS ZOE INTO THE
[22176]    MUSICROOM. A SHADE OF MAUVE TISSUEPAPER DIMS THE LIGHT OF THE CHANDELIER.
[22177]    ROUND AND ROUND A MOTH FLIES, COLLIDING, ESCAPING. THE FLOOR IS COVERED
[22178]    WITH AN OILCLOTH MOSAIC OF JADE AND AZURE AND CINNABAR RHOMBOIDS.
[22179]    FOOTMARKS ARE STAMPED OVER IT IN ALL SENSES, HEEL TO HEEL, HEEL TO
[22180]    HOLLOW, TOE TO TOE, FEET LOCKED, A MORRIS OF SHUFFLING FEET WITHOUT BODY
[22181]    PHANTOMS, ALL IN A SCRIMMAGE HIGGLEDYPIGGLEDY. THE WALLS ARE TAPESTRIED
[22182]    WITH A PAPER OF YEWFRONDS AND CLEAR GLADES. IN THE GRATE IS SPREAD A
[22183]    SCREEN OF PEACOCK FEATHERS. LYNCH SQUATS CROSSLEGGED ON THE HEARTHRUG OF
[22184]    MATTED HAIR, HIS CAP BACK TO THE FRONT. WITH A WAND HE BEATS TIME SLOWLY.
[22185]    KITTY RICKETTS, A BONY PALLID WHORE IN NAVY COSTUME, DOESKIN GLOVES
[22186]    ROLLED BACK FROM A CORAL WRISTLET, A CHAIN PURSE IN HER HAND, SITS
[22187]    PERCHED ON THE EDGE OF THE TABLE SWINGING HER LEG AND GLANCING AT HERSELF
[22188]    IN THE GILT MIRROR OVER THE MANTELPIECE. A TAG OF HER CORSETLACE HANGS
[22189]    SLIGHTLY BELOW HER JACKET. LYNCH INDICATES MOCKINGLY THE COUPLE AT THE
[22190]    PIANO.)
[22191]    
[22192]    KITTY: (COUGHS BEHIND HER HAND) She's a bit imbecillic. (SHE SIGNS WITH A
[22193]    WAGGLING FOREFINGER) Blemblem. (LYNCH LIFTS UP HER SKIRT AND WHITE
[22194]    PETTICOAT WITH HIS WAND SHE SETTLES THEM DOWN QUICKLY.) Respect yourself.
[22195]    (SHE HICCUPS, THEN BENDS QUICKLY HER SAILOR HAT UNDER WHICH HER HAIR
[22196]    GLOWS, RED WITH HENNA) O, excuse!
[22197]    
[22198]    ZOE: More limelight, Charley. (SHE GOES TO THE CHANDELIER AND TURNS THE
[22199]    GAS FULL COCK)
[22200]    
[22201]    KITTY: (PEERS AT THE GASJET) What ails it tonight?
[22202]    
[22203]    LYNCH: (DEEPLY) Enter a ghost and hobgoblins.
[22204]    
[22205]    ZOE: Clap on the back for Zoe.
[22206]    
[22207]    (THE WAND IN LYNCH'S HAND FLASHES: A BRASS POKER. STEPHEN STANDS AT THE
[22208]    PIANOLA ON WHICH SPRAWL HIS HAT AND ASHPLANT. WITH TWO FINGERS HE REPEATS
[22209]    ONCE MORE THE SERIES OF EMPTY FIFTHS. FLORRY TALBOT, A BLOND FEEBLE
[22210]    GOOSEFAT WHORE IN A TATTERDEMALION GOWN OF MILDEWED STRAWBERRY, LOLLS
[22211]    SPREADEAGLE IN THE SOFACORNER, HER LIMP FOREARM PENDENT OVER THE BOLSTER,
[22212]    LISTENING. A HEAVY STYE DROOPS OVER HER SLEEPY EYELID.)
[22213]    
[22214]    KITTY: (HICCUPS AGAIN WITH A KICK OF HER HORSED FOOT) O, excuse!
[22215]    
[22216]    ZOE: (PROMPTLY) Your boy's thinking of you. Tie a knot on your shift.
[22217]    
[22218]    (KITTY RICKETTS BENDS HER HEAD. HER BOA UNCOILS, SLIDES, GLIDES OVER HER
[22219]    SHOULDER, BACK, ARM, CHAIR TO THE GROUND. LYNCH LIFTS THE CURLED
[22220]    CATERPILLAR ON HIS WAND. SHE SNAKES HER NECK, NESTLING. STEPHEN GLANCES
[22221]    BEHIND AT THE SQUATTED FIGURE WITH ITS CAP BACK TO THE FRONT.)
[22222]    
[22223]    STEPHEN: As a matter of fact it is of no importance whether Benedetto
[22224]    Marcello found it or made it. The rite is the poet's rest. It may be an
[22225]    old hymn to Demeter or also illustrate COELA ENARRANT GLORIAM DOMINI. It
[22226]    is susceptible of nodes or modes as far apart as hyperphrygian and
[22227]    mixolydian and of texts so divergent as priests haihooping round David's
[22228]    that is Circe's or what am I saying Ceres' altar and David's tip from the
[22229]    stable to his chief bassoonist about the alrightness of his almightiness.
[22230]    MAIS NOM DE NOM, that is another pair of trousers. JETEZ LA GOURME. FAUT
[22231]    QUE JEUNESSE SE PASSE. (HE STOPS, POINTS AT LYNCH'S CAP, SMILES, LAUGHS)
[22232]    Which side is your knowledge bump?
[22233]    
[22234]    THE CAP: (WITH SATURNINE SPLEEN) Bah! It is because it is. Woman's
[22235]    reason. Jewgreek is greekjew. Extremes meet. Death is the highest form of
[22236]    life. Bah!
[22237]    
[22238]    STEPHEN: You remember fairly accurately all my errors, boasts, mistakes.
[22239]    How long shall I continue to close my eyes to disloyalty? Whetstone!
[22240]    
[22241]    THE CAP: Bah!
[22242]    
[22243]    STEPHEN: Here's another for you. (HE FROWNS) The reason is because the
[22244]    fundamental and the dominant are separated by the greatest possible
[22245]    interval which ...
[22246]    
[22247]    THE CAP: Which? Finish. You can't.
[22248]    
[22249]    STEPHEN: (WITH AN EFFORT) Interval which. Is the greatest possible
[22250]    ellipse. Consistent with. The ultimate return. The octave. Which.
[22251]    
[22252]    THE CAP: Which?
[22253]    
[22254]    (OUTSIDE THE GRAMOPHONE BEGINS TO BLARE The Holy City.)
[22255]    
[22256]    STEPHEN: (ABRUPTLY) What went forth to the ends of the world to traverse
[22257]    not itself, God, the sun, Shakespeare, a commercial traveller, having
[22258]    itself traversed in reality itself becomes that self. Wait a moment. Wait
[22259]    a second. Damn that fellow's noise in the street. Self which it itself
[22260]    was ineluctably preconditioned to become. ECCO!
[22261]    
[22262]    LYNCH: (WITH A MOCKING WHINNY OF LAUGHTER GRINS AT BLOOM AND ZOE HIGGINS)
[22263]    What a learned speech, eh?
[22264]    
[22265]    ZOE: (BRISKLY) God help your head, he knows more than you have forgotten.
[22266]    
[22267]    (WITH OBESE STUPIDITY FLORRY TALBOT REGARDS STEPHEN.)
[22268]    
[22269]    FLORRY: They say the last day is coming this summer.
[22270]    
[22271]    KITTY: No!
[22272]    
[22273]    ZOE: (EXPLODES IN LAUGHTER) Great unjust God!
[22274]    
[22275]    FLORRY: (OFFENDED) Well, it was in the papers about Antichrist. O, my
[22276]    foot's tickling.
[22277]    
[22278]    (RAGGED BAREFOOT NEWSBOYS, JOGGING A WAGTAIL KITE, PATTER PAST, YELLING.)
[22279]    
[22280]    THE NEWSBOYS: Stop press edition. Result of the rockinghorse races. Sea
[22281]    serpent in the royal canal. Safe arrival of Antichrist.
[22282]    
[22283]    (STEPHEN TURNS AND SEES BLOOM.)
[22284]    
[22285]    STEPHEN: A time, times and half a time.
[22286]    
[22287]    (REUBEN I ANTICHRIST, WANDERING JEW, A CLUTCHING HAND OPEN ON HIS SPINE,
[22288]    STUMPS FORWARD. ACROSS HIS LOINS IS SLUNG A PILGRIM'S WALLET FROM WHICH
[22289]    PROTRUDE PROMISSORY NOTES AND DISHONOURED BILLS. ALOFT OVER HIS SHOULDER
[22290]    HE BEARS A LONG BOATPOLE FROM THE HOOK OF WHICH THE SODDEN HUDDLED MASS
[22291]    OF HIS ONLY SON, SAVED FROM LIFFEY WATERS, HANGS FROM THE SLACK OF ITS
[22292]    BREECHES. A HOBGOBLIN IN THE IMAGE OF PUNCH COSTELLO, HIPSHOT,
[22293]    CROOKBACKED, HYDROCEPHALIC, PROGNATHIC WITH RECEDING FOREHEAD AND ALLY
[22294]    SLOPER NOSE, TUMBLES IN SOMERSAULTS THROUGH THE GATHERING DARKNESS.)
[22295]    
[22296]    ALL: What?
[22297]    
[22298]    THE HOBGOBLIN: (HIS JAWS CHATTERING, CAPERS TO AND FRO, GOGGLING HIS
[22299]    EYES, SQUEAKING, KANGAROOHOPPING WITH OUTSTRETCHED CLUTCHING ARMS, THEN
[22300]    ALL AT ONCE THRUSTS HIS LIPLESS FACE THROUGH THE FORK OF HIS THIGHS) IL
[22301]    VIENT! C'EST MOI! L'HOMME QUI RIT! L'HOMME PRIMIGENE! (HE WHIRLS ROUND
[22302]    AND ROUND WITH DERVISH HOWLS) SIEURS ET DAMES, FAITES VOS JEUX! (HE
[22303]    CROUCHES JUGGLING. TINY ROULETTE PLANETS FLY FROM HIS HANDS.) LES JEUX
[22304]    SONT FAITS! (THE PLANETS RUSH TOGETHER, UTTERING CREPITANT CRACKS) RIEN
[22305]    VA PLUS! (THE PLANETS, BUOYANT BALLOONS, SAIL SWOLLEN UP AND AWAY. HE
[22306]    SPRINGS OFF INTO VACUUM.)
[22307]    
[22308]    FLORRY: (SINKING INTO TORPOR, CROSSING HERSELF SECRETLY) The end of the
[22309]    world!
[22310]    
[22311]    (A FEMALE TEPID EFFLUVIUM LEAKS OUT FROM HER. NEBULOUS OBSCURITY OCCUPIES
[22312]    SPACE. THROUGH THE DRIFTING FOG WITHOUT THE GRAMOPHONE BLARES OVER COUGHS
[22313]    AND FEETSHUFFLING.)
[22314]    
[22315]    THE GRAMOPHONE: Jerusalem!
[22316]    
[22317]    Open your gates and sing
[22318]    
[22319]    Hosanna ...
[22320]    
[22321]    (A ROCKET RUSHES UP THE SKY AND BURSTS. A WHITE STAR FILLS FROM IT,
[22322]    PROCLAIMING THE CONSUMMATION OF ALL THINGS AND SECOND COMING OF ELIJAH.
[22323]    ALONG AN INFINITE INVISIBLE TIGHTROPE TAUT FROM ZENITH TO NADIR THE END
[22324]    OF THE WORLD, A TWOHEADED OCTOPUS IN GILLIE'S KILTS, BUSBY AND TARTAN
[22325]    FILIBEGS, WHIRLS THROUGH THE MURK, HEAD OVER HEELS, IN THE FORM OF THE
[22326]    THREE LEGS OF MAN.)
[22327]    
[22328]    THE END OF THE WORLD: (WITH A SCOTCH ACCENT) Wha'll dance the keel row,
[22329]    the keel row, the keel row?
[22330]    
[22331]    (OVER THE POSSING DRIFT AND CHOKING BREATHCOUGHS, ELIJAH'S VOICE, HARSH
[22332]    AS A CORNCRAKE'S, JARS ON HIGH. PERSPIRING IN A LOOSE LAWN SURPLICE WITH
[22333]    FUNNEL SLEEVES HE IS SEEN, VERGERFACED, ABOVE A ROSTRUM ABOUT WHICH THE
[22334]    BANNER OF OLD GLORY IS DRAPED. HE THUMPS THE PARAPET.)
[22335]    
[22336]    ELIJAH: No yapping, if you please, in this booth. Jake Crane, Creole Sue,
[22337]    Dove Campbell, Abe Kirschner, do your coughing with your mouths shut.
[22338]    Say, I am operating all this trunk line. Boys, do it now. God's time is
[22339]    12.25. Tell mother you'll be there. Rush your order and you play a slick
[22340]    ace. Join on right here. Book through to eternity junction, the nonstop
[22341]    run. Just one word more. Are you a god or a doggone clod? If the second
[22342]    advent came to Coney Island are we ready? Florry Christ, Stephen Christ,
[22343]    Zoe Christ, Bloom Christ, Kitty Christ, Lynch Christ, it's up to you to
[22344]    sense that cosmic force. Have we cold feet about the cosmos? No. Be on
[22345]    the side of the angels. Be a prism. You have that something within, the
[22346]    higher self. You can rub shoulders with a Jesus, a Gautama, an Ingersoll.
[22347]    Are you all in this vibration? I say you are. You once nobble that,
[22348]    congregation, and a buck joyride to heaven becomes a back number. You got
[22349]    me? It's a lifebrightener, sure. The hottest stuff ever was. It's the
[22350]    whole pie with jam in. It's just the cutest snappiest line out. It is
[22351]    immense, supersumptuous. It restores. It vibrates. I know and I am some
[22352]    vibrator. Joking apart and, getting down to bedrock, A. J. Christ Dowie
[22353]    and the harmonial philosophy, have you got that? O. K. Seventyseven west
[22354]    sixtyninth street. Got me? That's it. You call me up by sunphone any old
[22355]    time. Bumboosers, save your stamps. (HE SHOUTS) Now then our glory song.
[22356]    All join heartily in the singing. Encore! (HE SINGS) Jeru ...
[22357]    
[22358]    THE GRAMOPHONE: (DROWNING HIS VOICE) Whorusalaminyourhighhohhhh ... (THE
[22359]    DISC RASPS GRATINGLY AGAINST THE NEEDLE)
[22360]    
[22361]    THE THREE WHORES: (COVERING THEIR EARS, SQUAWK) Ahhkkk!
[22362]    
[22363]    ELIJAH: (IN ROLLEDUP SHIRTSLEEVES, BLACK IN THE FACE, SHOUTS AT THE TOP
[22364]    OF HIS VOICE, HIS ARMS UPLIFTED) Big Brother up there, Mr President, you
[22365]    hear what I done just been saying to you. Certainly, I sort of believe
[22366]    strong in you, Mr President. I certainly am thinking now Miss Higgins and
[22367]    Miss Ricketts got religion way inside them. Certainly seems to me I don't
[22368]    never see no wusser scared female than the way you been, Miss Florry,
[22369]    just now as I done seed you. Mr President, you come long and help me save
[22370]    our sisters dear. (HE WINKS AT HIS AUDIENCE) Our Mr President, he twig
[22371]    the whole lot and he aint saying nothing.
[22372]    
[22373]    KITTY-KATE: I forgot myself. In a weak moment I erred and did what I did
[22374]    on Constitution hill. I was confirmed by the bishop and enrolled in the
[22375]    brown scapular. My mother's sister married a Montmorency. It was a
[22376]    working plumber was my ruination when I was pure.
[22377]    
[22378]    ZOE-FANNY: I let him larrup it into me for the fun of it.
[22379]    
[22380]    FLORRY-TERESA: It was in consequence of a portwine beverage on top of
[22381]    Hennessy's three star. I was guilty with Whelan when he slipped into the
[22382]    bed.
[22383]    
[22384]    STEPHEN: In the beginning was the word, in the end the world without end.
[22385]    Blessed be the eight beatitudes.
[22386]    
[22387]    (THE BEATITUDES, DIXON, MADDEN, CROTTHERS, COSTELLO, LENEHAN, BANNON,
[22388]    MULLIGAN AND LYNCH IN WHITE SURGICAL STUDENTS' GOWNS, FOUR ABREAST,
[22389]    GOOSESTEPPING, TRAMP FIST PAST IN NOISY MARCHING)
[22390]    
[22391]    THE BEATITUDES: (INCOHERENTLY) Beer beef battledog buybull businum barnum
[22392]    buggerum bishop.
[22393]    
[22394]    LYSTER: (IN QUAKERGREY KNEEBREECHES AND BROADBRIMMED HAT, SAYS
[22395]    DISCREETLY) He is our friend. I need not mention names. Seek thou the
[22396]    light.
[22397]    
[22398]    (HE CORANTOS BY. BEST ENTERS IN HAIRDRESSER'S ATTIRE, SHINILY LAUNDERED,
[22399]    HIS LOCKS IN CURLPAPERS. HE LEADS JOHN EGLINTON WHO WEARS A MANDARIN'S
[22400]    KIMONO OF NANKEEN YELLOW, LIZARDLETTERED, AND A HIGH PAGODA HAT.)
[22401]    
[22402]    BEST: (SMILING, LIFTS THE HAT AND DISPLAYS A SHAVEN POLL FROM THE CROWN
[22403]    OF WHICH BRISTLES A PIGTAIL TOUPEE TIED WITH AN ORANGE TOPKNOT) I was
[22404]    just beautifying him, don't you know. A thing of beauty, don't you know,
[22405]    Yeats says, or I mean, Keats says.
[22406]    
[22407]    JOHN EGLINTON: (PRODUCES A GREENCAPPED DARK LANTERN AND FLASHES IT
[22408]    TOWARDS A CORNER: WITH CARPING ACCENT) Esthetics and cosmetics are for
[22409]    the boudoir. I am out for truth. Plain truth for a plain man. Tanderagee
[22410]    wants the facts and means to get them.
[22411]    
[22412]    (IN THE CONE OF THE SEARCHLIGHT BEHIND THE COALSCUTTLE, OLLAVE, HOLYEYED,
[22413]    THE BEARDED FIGURE OF MANANAUN MACLIR BROODS, CHIN ON KNEES. HE RISES
[22414]    SLOWLY. A COLD SEAWIND BLOWS FROM HIS DRUID MOUTH. ABOUT HIS HEAD WRITHE
[22415]    EELS AND ELVERS. HE IS ENCRUSTED WITH WEEDS AND SHELLS. HIS RIGHT HAND
[22416]    HOLDS A BICYCLE PUMP. HIS LEFT HAND GRASPS A HUGE CRAYFISH BY ITS TWO
[22417]    TALONS.)
[22418]    
[22419]    MANANAUN MACLIR: (WITH A VOICE OF WAVES) Aum! Hek! Wal! Ak! Lub! Mor! Ma!
[22420]    White yoghin of the gods. Occult pimander of Hermes Trismegistos. (WITH A
[22421]    VOICE OF WHISTLING SEAWIND) Punarjanam patsypunjaub! I won't have my leg
[22422]    pulled. It has been said by one: beware the left, the cult of Shakti.
[22423]    (WITH A CRY OF STORMBIRDS) Shakti Shiva, darkhidden Father! (HE SMITES
[22424]    WITH HIS BICYCLE PUMP THE CRAYFISH IN HIS LEFT HAND. ON ITS COOPERATIVE
[22425]    DIAL GLOW THE TWELVE SIGNS OF THE ZODIAC. HE WAILS WITH THE VEHEMENCE OF
[22426]    THE OCEAN.) Aum! Baum! Pyjaum! I am the light of the homestead! I am the
[22427]    dreamery creamery butter.
[22428]    
[22429]    (A SKELETON JUDASHAND STRANGLES THE LIGHT. THE GREEN LIGHT WANES TO
[22430]    MAUVE. THE GASJET WAILS WHISTLING.)
[22431]    
[22432]    THE GASJET: Pooah! Pfuiiiiiii!
[22433]    
[22434]    (ZOE RUNS TO THE CHANDELIER AND, CROOKING HER LEG, ADJUSTS THE MANTLE.)
[22435]    
[22436]    ZOE: Who has a fag as I'm here?
[22437]    
[22438]    LYNCH: (TOSSING A CIGARETTE ON TO THE TABLE) Here.
[22439]    
[22440]    ZOE: (HER HEAD PERCHED ASIDE IN MOCK PRIDE) Is that the way to hand the
[22441]    POT to a lady? (SHE STRETCHES UP TO LIGHT THE CIGARETTE OVER THE FLAME,
[22442]    TWIRLING IT SLOWLY, SHOWING THE BROWN TUFTS OF HER ARMPITS. LYNCH WITH
[22443]    HIS POKER LIFTS BOLDLY A SIDE OF HER SLIP. BARE FROM HER GARTERS UP HER
[22444]    FLESH APPEARS UNDER THE SAPPHIRE A NIXIE'S GREEN. SHE PUFFS CALMLY AT HER
[22445]    CIGARETTE.) Can you see the beautyspot of my behind?
[22446]    
[22447]    LYNCH: I'm not looking
[22448]    
[22449]    ZOE: (MAKES SHEEP'S EYES) No? You wouldn't do a less thing. Would you
[22450]    suck a lemon?
[22451]    
[22452]    (SQUINTING IN MOCK SHAME SHE GLANCES WITH SIDELONG MEANING AT BLOOM, THEN
[22453]    TWISTS ROUND TOWARDS HIM, PULLING HER SLIP FREE OF THE POKER. BLUE FLUID
[22454]    AGAIN FLOWS OVER HER