Ulysses by James Joyce
Penelope

Leopold Bloom Telemachus
Nestor
Proteus
Calypso
Lotus-Eaters
Hades
Aeolus
Lestrygonians
Scylla and Charybdis
Wandering Rocks
Sirens
Cyclops
Nausicaa
Oxen of the Sun
Circe
Eumeus
Ithaca
Penelope

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Ulysses by James Joyce.
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[30698]    
[30699]    
[30700]    Yes because he never did a thing like that before as ask to get his
[30701]    breakfast in bed with a couple of eggs since the CITY ARMS hotel when he
[30702]    used to be pretending to be laid up with a sick voice doing his highness
[30703]    to make himself interesting for that old faggot Mrs Riordan that he
[30704]    thought he had a great leg of and she never left us a farthing all for
[30705]    masses for herself and her soul greatest miser ever was actually afraid
[30706]    to lay out 4d for her methylated spirit telling me all her ailments she
[30707]    had too much old chat in her about politics and earthquakes and the end
[30708]    of the world let us have a bit of fun first God help the world if all the
[30709]    women were her sort down on bathingsuits and lownecks of course nobody
[30710]    wanted her to wear them I suppose she was pious because no man would look
[30711]    at her twice I hope Ill never be like her a wonder she didnt want us to
[30712]    cover our faces but she was a welleducated woman certainly and her gabby
[30713]    talk about Mr Riordan here and Mr Riordan there I suppose he was glad to
[30714]    get shut of her and her dog smelling my fur and always edging to get up
[30715]    under my petticoats especially then still I like that in him polite to
[30716]    old women like that and waiters and beggars too hes not proud out of
[30717]    nothing but not always if ever he got anything really serious the matter
[30718]    with him its much better for them to go into a hospital where everything
[30719]    is clean but I suppose Id have to dring it into him for a month yes and
[30720]    then wed have a hospital nurse next thing on the carpet have him staying
[30721]    there till they throw him out or a nun maybe like the smutty photo he has
[30722]    shes as much a nun as Im not yes because theyre so weak and puling when
[30723]    theyre sick they want a woman to get well if his nose bleeds youd think
[30724]    it was O tragic and that dyinglooking one off the south circular when he
[30725]    sprained his foot at the choir party at the sugarloaf Mountain the day I
[30726]    wore that dress Miss Stack bringing him flowers the worst old ones she
[30727]    could find at the bottom of the basket anything at all to get into a mans
[30728]    bedroom with her old maids voice trying to imagine he was dying on
[30729]    account of her to never see thy face again though he looked more like a
[30730]    man with his beard a bit grown in the bed father was the same besides I
[30731]    hate bandaging and dosing when he cut his toe with the razor paring his
[30732]    corns afraid hed get bloodpoisoning but if it was a thing I was sick then
[30733]    wed see what attention only of course the woman hides it not to give all
[30734]    the trouble they do yes he came somewhere Im sure by his appetite anyway
[30735]    love its not or hed be off his feed thinking of her so either it was one
[30736]    of those night women if it was down there he was really and the hotel
[30737]    story he made up a pack of lies to hide it planning it Hynes kept me who
[30738]    did I meet ah yes I met do you remember Menton and who else who let me
[30739]    see that big babbyface I saw him and he not long married flirting with a
[30740]    young girl at Pooles Myriorama and turned my back on him when he slinked
[30741]    out looking quite conscious what harm but he had the impudence to make up
[30742]    to me one time well done to him mouth almighty and his boiled eyes of all
[30743]    the big stupoes I ever met and thats called a solicitor only for I hate
[30744]    having a long wrangle in bed or else if its not that its some little
[30745]    bitch or other he got in with somewhere or picked up on the sly if they
[30746]    only knew him as well as I do yes because the day before yesterday he was
[30747]    scribbling something a letter when I came into the front room to show him
[30748]    Dignams death in the paper as if something told me and he covered it up
[30749]    with the blottingpaper pretending to be thinking about business so very
[30750]    probably that was it to somebody who thinks she has a softy in him
[30751]    because all men get a bit like that at his age especially getting on to
[30752]    forty he is now so as to wheedle any money she can out of him no fool
[30753]    like an old fool and then the usual kissing my bottom was to hide it not
[30754]    that I care two straws now who he does it with or knew before that way
[30755]    though Id like to find out so long as I dont have the two of them under
[30756]    my nose all the time like that slut that Mary we had in Ontario terrace
[30757]    padding out her false bottom to excite him bad enough to get the smell of
[30758]    those painted women off him once or twice I had a suspicion by getting
[30759]    him to come near me when I found the long hair on his coat without that
[30760]    one when I went into the kitchen pretending he was drinking water 1 woman
[30761]    is not enough for them it was all his fault of course ruining servants
[30762]    then proposing that she could eat at our table on Christmas day if you
[30763]    please O no thank you not in my house stealing my potatoes and the
[30764]    oysters 2/6 per doz going out to see her aunt if you please common
[30765]    robbery so it was but I was sure he had something on with that one it
[30766]    takes me to find out a thing like that he said you have no proof it was
[30767]    her proof O yes her aunt was very fond of oysters but I told her what I
[30768]    thought of her suggesting me to go out to be alone with her I wouldnt
[30769]    lower myself to spy on them the garters I found in her room the Friday
[30770]    she was out that was enough for me a little bit too much her face swelled
[30771]    up on her with temper when I gave her her weeks notice I saw to that
[30772]    better do without them altogether do out the rooms myself quicker only
[30773]    for the damn cooking and throwing out the dirt I gave it to him anyhow
[30774]    either she or me leaves the house I couldnt even touch him if I thought
[30775]    he was with a dirty barefaced liar and sloven like that one denying it up
[30776]    to my face and singing about the place in the W C too because she knew
[30777]    she was too well off yes because he couldnt possibly do without it that
[30778]    long so he must do it somewhere and the last time he came on my bottom
[30779]    when was it the night Boylan gave my hand a great squeeze going along by
[30780]    the Tolka in my hand there steals another I just pressed the back of his
[30781]    like that with my thumb to squeeze back singing the young May moon shes
[30782]    beaming love because he has an idea about him and me hes not such a fool
[30783]    he said Im dining out and going to the Gaiety though Im not going to give
[30784]    him the satisfaction in any case God knows hes a change in a way not to
[30785]    be always and ever wearing the same old hat unless I paid some
[30786]    nicelooking boy to do it since I cant do it myself a young boy would like
[30787]    me Id confuse him a little alone with him if we were Id let him see my
[30788]    garters the new ones and make him turn red looking at him seduce him I
[30789]    know what boys feel with that down on their cheek doing that frigging
[30790]    drawing out the thing by the hour question and answer would you do this
[30791]    that and the other with the coalman yes with a bishop yes I would because
[30792]    I told him about some dean or bishop was sitting beside me in the jews
[30793]    temples gardens when I was knitting that woollen thing a stranger to
[30794]    Dublin what place was it and so on about the monuments and he tired me
[30795]    out with statues encouraging him making him worse than he is who is in
[30796]    your mind now tell me who are you thinking of who is it tell me his name
[30797]    who tell me who the german Emperor is it yes imagine Im him think of him
[30798]    can you feel him trying to make a whore of me what he never will he ought
[30799]    to give it up now at this age of his life simply ruination for any woman
[30800]    and no satisfaction in it pretending to like it till he comes and then
[30801]    finish it off myself anyway and it makes your lips pale anyhow its done
[30802]    now once and for all with all the talk of the world about it people make
[30803]    its only the first time after that its just the ordinary do it and think
[30804]    no more about it why cant you kiss a man without going and marrying him
[30805]    first you sometimes love to wildly when you feel that way so nice all
[30806]    over you you cant help yourself I wish some man or other would take me
[30807]    sometime when hes there and kiss me in his arms theres nothing like a
[30808]    kiss long and hot down to your soul almost paralyses you then I hate that
[30809]    confession when I used to go to Father Corrigan he touched me father and
[30810]    what harm if he did where and I said on the canal bank like a fool but
[30811]    whereabouts on your person my child on the leg behind high up was it yes
[30812]    rather high up was it where you sit down yes O Lord couldnt he say bottom
[30813]    right out and have done with it what has that got to do with it and did
[30814]    you whatever way he put it I forget no father and I always think of the
[30815]    real father what did he want to know for when I already confessed it to
[30816]    God he had a nice fat hand the palm moist always I wouldnt mind feeling
[30817]    it neither would he Id say by the bullneck in his horsecollar I wonder
[30818]    did he know me in the box I could see his face he couldnt see mine of
[30819]    course hed never turn or let on still his eyes were red when his father
[30820]    died theyre lost for a woman of course must be terrible when a man cries
[30821]    let alone them Id like to be embraced by one in his vestments and the
[30822]    smell of incense off him like the pope besides theres no danger with a
[30823]    priest if youre married hes too careful about himself then give something
[30824]    to H H the pope for a penance I wonder was he satisfied with me one thing
[30825]    I didnt like his slapping me behind going away so familiarly in the hall
[30826]    though I laughed Im not a horse or an ass am I I suppose he was thinking
[30827]    of his fathers I wonder is he awake thinking of me or dreaming am I in it
[30828]    who gave him that flower he said he bought he smelt of some kind of drink
[30829]    not whisky or stout or perhaps the sweety kind of paste they stick their
[30830]    bills up with some liqueur Id like to sip those richlooking green and
[30831]    yellow expensive drinks those stagedoor johnnies drink with the opera
[30832]    hats I tasted once with my finger dipped out of that American that had
[30833]    the squirrel talking stamps with father he had all he could do to keep
[30834]    himself from falling asleep after the last time after we took the port
[30835]    and potted meat it had a fine salty taste yes because I felt lovely and
[30836]    tired myself and fell asleep as sound as a top the moment I popped
[30837]    straight into bed till that thunder woke me up God be merciful to us I
[30838]    thought the heavens were coming down about us to punish us when I blessed
[30839]    myself and said a Hail Mary like those awful thunderbolts in Gibraltar as
[30840]    if the world was coming to an end and then they come and tell you theres
[30841]    no God what could you do if it was running and rushing about nothing only
[30842]    make an act of contrition the candle I lit that evening in Whitefriars
[30843]    street chapel for the month of May see it brought its luck though hed
[30844]    scoff if he heard because he never goes to church mass or meeting he says
[30845]    your soul you have no soul inside only grey matter because he doesnt know
[30846]    what it is to have one yes when I lit the lamp because he must have come
[30847]    3 or 4 times with that tremendous big red brute of a thing he has I
[30848]    thought the vein or whatever the dickens they call it was going to burst
[30849]    though his nose is not so big after I took off all my things with the
[30850]    blinds down after my hours dressing and perfuming and combing it like
[30851]    iron or some kind of a thick crowbar standing all the time he must have
[30852]    eaten oysters I think a few dozen he was in great singing voice no I
[30853]    never in all my life felt anyone had one the size of that to make you
[30854]    feel full up he must have eaten a whole sheep after whats the idea making
[30855]    us like that with a big hole in the middle of us or like a Stallion
[30856]    driving it up into you because thats all they want out of you with that
[30857]    determined vicious look in his eye I had to halfshut my eyes still he
[30858]    hasnt such a tremendous amount of spunk in him when I made him pull out
[30859]    and do it on me considering how big it is so much the better in case any
[30860]    of it wasnt washed out properly the last time I let him finish it in me
[30861]    nice invention they made for women for him to get all the pleasure but if
[30862]    someone gave them a touch of it themselves theyd know what I went through
[30863]    with Milly nobody would believe cutting her teeth too and Mina Purefoys
[30864]    husband give us a swing out of your whiskers filling her up with a child
[30865]    or twins once a year as regular as the clock always with a smell of
[30866]    children off her the one they called budgers or something like a nigger
[30867]    with a shock of hair on it Jesusjack the child is a black the last time I
[30868]    was there a squad of them falling over one another and bawling you
[30869]    couldnt hear your ears supposed to be healthy not satisfied till they
[30870]    have us swollen out like elephants or I dont know what supposing I risked
[30871]    having another not off him though still if he was married Im sure hed
[30872]    have a fine strong child but I dont know Poldy has more spunk in him yes
[30873]    thatd be awfully jolly I suppose it was meeting Josie Powell and the
[30874]    funeral and thinking about me and Boylan set him off well he can think
[30875]    what he likes now if thatll do him any good I know they were spooning a
[30876]    bit when I came on the scene he was dancing and sitting out with her the
[30877]    night of Georgina Simpsons housewarming and then he wanted to ram it down
[30878]    my neck it was on account of not liking to see her a wallflower that was
[30879]    why we had the standup row over politics he began it not me when he said
[30880]    about Our Lord being a carpenter at last he made me cry of course a woman
[30881]    is so sensitive about everything I was fuming with myself after for
[30882]    giving in only for I knew he was gone on me and the first socialist he
[30883]    said He was he annoyed me so much I couldnt put him into a temper still
[30884]    he knows a lot of mixedup things especially about the body and the inside
[30885]    I often wanted to study up that myself what we have inside us in that
[30886]    family physician I could always hear his voice talking when the room was
[30887]    crowded and watch him after that I pretended I had a coolness on with her
[30888]    over him because he used to be a bit on the jealous side whenever he
[30889]    asked who are you going to and I said over to Floey and he made me the
[30890]    present of Byron's poems and the three pairs of gloves so that finished
[30891]    that I could quite easily get him to make it up any time I know how Id
[30892]    even supposing he got in with her again and was going out to see her
[30893]    somewhere Id know if he refused to eat the onions I know plenty of ways
[30894]    ask him to tuck down the collar of my blouse or touch him with my veil
[30895]    and gloves on going out I kiss then would send them all spinning however
[30896]    alright well see then let him go to her she of course would only be too
[30897]    delighted to pretend shes mad in love with him that I wouldnt so much
[30898]    mind Id just go to her and ask her do you love him and look her square in
[30899]    the eyes she couldnt fool me but he might imagine he was and make a
[30900]    declaration to her with his plabbery kind of a manner like he did to me
[30901]    though I had the devils own job to get it out of him though I liked him
[30902]    for that it showed he could hold in and wasnt to be got for the asking he
[30903]    was on the pop of asking me too the night in the kitchen I was rolling
[30904]    the potato cake theres something I want to say to you only for I put him
[30905]    off letting on I was in a temper with my hands and arms full of pasty
[30906]    flour in any case I let out too much the night before talking of dreams
[30907]    so I didnt want to let him know more than was good for him she used to be
[30908]    always embracing me Josie whenever he was there meaning him of course
[30909]    glauming me over and when I said I washed up and down as far as possible
[30910]    asking me and did you wash possible the women are always egging on to
[30911]    that putting it on thick when hes there they know by his sly eye blinking
[30912]    a bit putting on the indifferent when they come out with something the
[30913]    kind he is what spoils him I dont wonder in the least because he was very
[30914]    handsome at that time trying to look like Lord Byron I said I liked
[30915]    though he was too beautiful for a man and he was a little before we got
[30916]    engaged afterwards though she didnt like it so much the day I was in fits
[30917]    of laughing with the giggles I couldnt stop about all my hairpins falling
[30918]    out one after another with the mass of hair I had youre always in great
[30919]    humour she said yes because it grigged her because she knew what it meant
[30920]    because I used to tell her a good bit of what went on between us not all
[30921]    but just enough to make her mouth water but that wasnt my fault she didnt
[30922]    darken the door much after we were married I wonder what shes got like
[30923]    now after living with that dotty husband of hers she had her face
[30924]    beginning to look drawn and run down the last time I saw her she must
[30925]    have been just after a row with him because I saw on the moment she was
[30926]    edging to draw down a conversation about husbands and talk about him to
[30927]    run him down what was it she told me O yes that sometimes he used to go
[30928]    to bed with his muddy boots on when the maggot takes him just imagine
[30929]    having to get into bed with a thing like that that might murder you any
[30930]    moment what a man well its not the one way everyone goes mad Poldy anyhow
[30931]    whatever he does always wipes his feet on the mat when he comes in wet or
[30932]    shine and always blacks his own boots too and he always takes off his hat
[30933]    when he comes up in the street like then and now hes going about in his
[30934]    slippers to look for 10000 pounds for a postcard U p up O sweetheart May
[30935]    wouldnt a thing like that simply bore you stiff to extinction actually
[30936]    too stupid even to take his boots off now what could you make of a man
[30937]    like that Id rather die 20 times over than marry another of their sex of
[30938]    course hed never find another woman like me to put up with him the way I
[30939]    do know me come sleep with me yes and he knows that too at the bottom of
[30940]    his heart take that Mrs Maybrick that poisoned her husband for what I
[30941]    wonder in love with some other man yes it was found out on her wasnt she
[30942]    the downright villain to go and do a thing like that of course some men
[30943]    can be dreadfully aggravating drive you mad and always the worst word in
[30944]    the world what do they ask us to marry them for if were so bad as all
[30945]    that comes to yes because they cant get on without us white Arsenic she
[30946]    put in his tea off flypaper wasnt it I wonder why they call it that if I
[30947]    asked him hed say its from the Greek leave us as wise as we were before
[30948]    she must have been madly in love with the other fellow to run the chance
[30949]    of being hanged O she didnt care if that was her nature what could she do
[30950]    besides theyre not brutes enough to go and hang a woman surely are they
[30951]    
[30952]    theyre all so different Boylan talking about the shape of my foot he
[30953]    noticed at once even before he was introduced when I was in the D B C
[30954]    with Poldy laughing and trying to listen I was waggling my foot we both
[30955]    ordered 2 teas and plain bread and butter I saw him looking with his two
[30956]    old maids of sisters when I stood up and asked the girl where it was what
[30957]    do I care with it dropping out of me and that black closed breeches he
[30958]    made me buy takes you half an hour to let them down wetting all myself
[30959]    always with some brandnew fad every other week such a long one I did I
[30960]    forgot my suede gloves on the seat behind that I never got after some
[30961]    robber of a woman and he wanted me to put it in the Irish times lost in
[30962]    the ladies lavatory D B C Dame street finder return to Mrs Marion Bloom
[30963]    and I saw his eyes on my feet going out through the turning door he was
[30964]    looking when I looked back and I went there for tea 2 days after in the
[30965]    hope but he wasnt now how did that excite him because I was crossing them
[30966]    when we were in the other room first he meant the shoes that are too
[30967]    tight to walk in my hand is nice like that if I only had a ring with the
[30968]    stone for my month a nice aquamarine Ill stick him for one and a gold
[30969]    bracelet I dont like my foot so much still I made him spend once with my
[30970]    foot the night after Goodwins botchup of a concert so cold and windy it
[30971]    was well we had that rum in the house to mull and the fire wasnt black
[30972]    out when he asked to take off my stockings lying on the hearthrug in
[30973]    Lombard street west and another time it was my muddy boots hed like me to
[30974]    walk in all the horses dung I could find but of course hes not natural
[30975]    like the rest of the world that I what did he say I could give 9 points
[30976]    in 10 to Katty Lanner and beat her what does that mean I asked him I
[30977]    forget what he said because the stoppress edition just passed and the man
[30978]    with the curly hair in the Lucan dairy thats so polite I think I saw his
[30979]    face before somewhere I noticed him when I was tasting the butter so I
[30980]    took my time Bartell dArcy too that he used to make fun of when he
[30981]    commenced kissing me on the choir stairs after I sang Gounods AVE MARIA
[30982]    what are we waiting for O my heart kiss me straight on the brow and part
[30983]    which is my brown part he was pretty hot for all his tinny voice too my
[30984]    low notes he was always raving about if you can believe him I liked the
[30985]    way he used his mouth singing then he said wasnt it terrible to do that
[30986]    there in a place like that I dont see anything so terrible about it Ill
[30987]    tell him about that some day not now and surprise him ay and Ill take him
[30988]    there and show him the very place too we did it so now there you are like
[30989]    it or lump it he thinks nothing can happen without him knowing he hadnt
[30990]    an idea about my mother till we were engaged otherwise hed never have got
[30991]    me so cheap as he did he was 10 times worse himself anyhow begging me to
[30992]    give him a tiny bit cut off my drawers that was the evening coming along
[30993]    Kenilworth square he kissed me in the eye of my glove and I had to take
[30994]    it off asking me questions is it permitted to enquire the shape of my
[30995]    bedroom so I let him keep it as if I forgot it to think of me when I saw
[30996]    him slip it into his pocket of course hes mad on the subject of drawers
[30997]    thats plain to be seen always skeezing at those brazenfaced things on the
[30998]    bicycles with their skirts blowing up to their navels even when Milly and
[30999]    I were out with him at the open air fete that one in the cream muslin
[31000]    standing right against the sun so he could see every atom she had on when
[31001]    he saw me from behind following in the rain I saw him before he saw me
[31002]    however standing at the corner of the Harolds cross road with a new
[31003]    raincoat on him with the muffler in the Zingari colours to show off his
[31004]    complexion and the brown hat looking slyboots as usual what was he doing
[31005]    there where hed no business they can go and get whatever they like from
[31006]    anything at all with a skirt on it and were not to ask any questions but
[31007]    they want to know where were you where are you going I could feel him
[31008]    coming along skulking after me his eyes on my neck he had been keeping
[31009]    away from the house he felt it was getting too warm for him so I
[31010]    halfturned and stopped then he pestered me to say yes till I took off my
[31011]    glove slowly watching him he said my openwork sleeves were too cold for
[31012]    the rain anything for an excuse to put his hand anear me drawers drawers
[31013]    the whole blessed time till I promised to give him the pair off my doll
[31014]    to carry about in his waistcoat pocket O MARIA SANTISIMA he did look a
[31015]    big fool dreeping in the rain splendid set of teeth he had made me hungry
[31016]    to look at them and beseeched of me to lift the orange petticoat I had on
[31017]    with the sunray pleats that there was nobody he said hed kneel down in
[31018]    the wet if I didnt so persevering he would too and ruin his new raincoat
[31019]    you never know what freak theyd take alone with you theyre so savage for
[31020]    it if anyone was passing so I lifted them a bit and touched his trousers
[31021]    outside the way I used to Gardner after with my ring hand to keep him
[31022]    from doing worse where it was too public I was dying to find out was he
[31023]    circumcised he was shaking like a jelly all over they want to do
[31024]    everything too quick take all the pleasure out of it and father waiting
[31025]    all the time for his dinner he told me to say I left my purse in the
[31026]    butchers and had to go back for it what a Deceiver then he wrote me that
[31027]    letter with all those words in it how could he have the face to any woman
[31028]    after his company manners making it so awkward after when we met asking
[31029]    me have I offended you with my eyelids down of course he saw I wasnt he
[31030]    had a few brains not like that other fool Henny Doyle he was always
[31031]    breaking or tearing something in the charades I hate an unlucky man and
[31032]    if I knew what it meant of course I had to say no for form sake dont
[31033]    understand you I said and wasnt it natural so it is of course it used to
[31034]    be written up with a picture of a womans on that wall in Gibraltar with
[31035]    that word I couldnt find anywhere only for children seeing it too young
[31036]    then writing every morning a letter sometimes twice a day I liked the way
[31037]    he made love then he knew the way to take a woman when he sent me the 8
[31038]    big poppies because mine was the 8th then I wrote the night he kissed my
[31039]    heart at Dolphins barn I couldnt describe it simply it makes you feel
[31040]    like nothing on earth but he never knew how to embrace well like Gardner
[31041]    I hope hell come on Monday as he said at the same time four I hate people
[31042]    who come at all hours answer the door you think its the vegetables then
[31043]    its somebody and you all undressed or the door of the filthy sloppy
[31044]    kitchen blows open the day old frostyface Goodwin called about the
[31045]    concert in Lombard street and I just after dinner all flushed and tossed
[31046]    with boiling old stew dont look at me professor I had to say Im a fright
[31047]    yes but he was a real old gent in his way it was impossible to be more
[31048]    respectful nobody to say youre out you have to peep out through the blind
[31049]    like the messengerboy today I thought it was a putoff first him sending
[31050]    the port and the peaches first and I was just beginning to yawn with
[31051]    nerves thinking he was trying to make a fool of me when I knew his
[31052]    tattarrattat at the door he must have been a bit late because it was l/4
[31053]    after 3 when I saw the 2 Dedalus girls coming from school I never know
[31054]    the time even that watch he gave me never seems to go properly Id want to
[31055]    get it looked after when I threw the penny to that lame sailor for
[31056]    England home and beauty when I was whistling there is a charming girl I
[31057]    love and I hadnt even put on my clean shift or powdered myself or a thing
[31058]    then this day week were to go to Belfast just as well he has to go to
[31059]    Ennis his fathers anniversary the 27th it wouldnt be pleasant if he did
[31060]    suppose our rooms at the hotel were beside each other and any fooling
[31061]    went on in the new bed I couldnt tell him to stop and not bother me with
[31062]    him in the next room or perhaps some protestant clergyman with a cough
[31063]    knocking on the wall then hed never believe the next day we didnt do
[31064]    something its all very well a husband but you cant fool a lover after me
[31065]    telling him we never did anything of course he didnt believe me no its
[31066]    better hes going where he is besides something always happens with him
[31067]    the time going to the Mallow concert at Maryborough ordering boiling soup
[31068]    for the two of us then the bell rang out he walks down the platform with
[31069]    the soup splashing about taking spoonfuls of it hadnt he the nerve and
[31070]    the waiter after him making a holy show of us screeching and confusion
[31071]    for the engine to start but he wouldnt pay till he finished it the two
[31072]    gentlemen in the 3rd class carriage said he was quite right so he was too
[31073]    hes so pigheaded sometimes when he gets a thing into his head a good job
[31074]    he was able to open the carriage door with his knife or theyd have taken
[31075]    us on to Cork I suppose that was done out of revenge on him O I love
[31076]    jaunting in a train or a car with lovely soft cushions I wonder will he
[31077]    take a 1st class for me he might want to do it in the train by tipping
[31078]    the guard well O I suppose therell be the usual idiots of men gaping at
[31079]    us with their eyes as stupid as ever they can possibly be that was an
[31080]    exceptional man that common workman that left us alone in the carriage
[31081]    that day going to Howth Id like to find out something about him l or 2
[31082]    tunnels perhaps then you have to look out of the window all the nicer
[31083]    then coming back suppose I never came back what would they say eloped
[31084]    with him that gets you on on the stage the last concert I sang at where
[31085]    its over a year ago when was it St Teresas hall Clarendon St little chits
[31086]    of missies they have now singing Kathleen Kearney and her like on account
[31087]    of father being in the army and my singing the absentminded beggar and
[31088]    wearing a brooch for Lord Roberts when I had the map of it all and Poldy
[31089]    not Irish enough was it him managed it this time I wouldnt put it past
[31090]    him like he got me on to sing in the STABAT MATER by going around saying
[31091]    he was putting Lead Kindly Light to music I put him up to that till the
[31092]    jesuits found out he was a freemason thumping the piano lead Thou me on
[31093]    copied from some old opera yes and he was going about with some of them
[31094]    Sinner Fein lately or whatever they call themselves talking his usual
[31095]    trash and nonsense he says that little man he showed me without the neck
[31096]    is very intelligent the coming man Griffiths is he well he doesnt look it
[31097]    thats all I can say still it must have been him he knew there was a
[31098]    boycott I hate the mention of their politics after the war that Pretoria
[31099]    and Ladysmith and Bloemfontein where Gardner lieut Stanley G 8th Bn 2nd
[31100]    East Lancs Rgt of enteric fever he was a lovely fellow in khaki and just
[31101]    the right height over me Im sure he was brave too he said I was lovely
[31102]    the evening we kissed goodbye at the canal lock my Irish beauty he was
[31103]    pale with excitement about going away or wed be seen from the road he
[31104]    couldnt stand properly and I so hot as I never felt they could have made
[31105]    their peace in the beginning or old oom Paul and the rest of the other
[31106]    old Krugers go and fight it out between them instead of dragging on for
[31107]    years killing any finelooking men there were with their fever if he was
[31108]    even decently shot it wouldnt have been so bad I love to see a regiment
[31109]    pass in review the first time I saw the Spanish cavalry at La Roque it
[31110]    was lovely after looking across the bay from Algeciras all the lights of
[31111]    the rock like fireflies or those sham battles on the 15 acres the Black
[31112]    Watch with their kilts in time at the march past the 10th hussars the
[31113]    prince of Wales own or the lancers O the lancers theyre grand or the
[31114]    Dublins that won Tugela his father made his money over selling the horses
[31115]    for the cavalry well he could buy me a nice present up in Belfast after
[31116]    what I gave him theyve lovely linen up there or one of those nice kimono
[31117]    things I must buy a mothball like I had before to keep in the drawer with
[31118]    them it would be exciting going round with him shopping buying those
[31119]    things in a new city better leave this ring behind want to keep turning
[31120]    and turning to get it over the knuckle there or they might bell it round
[31121]    the town in their papers or tell the police on me but theyd think were
[31122]    married O let them all go and smother themselves for the fat lot I care
[31123]    he has plenty of money and hes not a marrying man so somebody better get
[31124]    it out of him if I could find out whether he likes me I looked a bit
[31125]    washy of course when I looked close in the handglass powdering a mirror
[31126]    never gives you the expression besides scrooching down on me like that
[31127]    all the time with his big hipbones hes heavy too with his hairy chest for
[31128]    this heat always having to lie down for them better for him put it into
[31129]    me from behind the way Mrs Mastiansky told me her husband made her like
[31130]    the dogs do it and stick out her tongue as far as ever she could and he
[31131]    so quiet and mild with his tingating cither can you ever be up to men the
[31132]    way it takes them lovely stuff in that blue suit he had on and stylish
[31133]    tie and socks with the skyblue silk things on them hes certainly well off
[31134]    I know by the cut his clothes have and his heavy watch but he was like a
[31135]    perfect devil for a few minutes after he came back with the stoppress
[31136]    tearing up the tickets and swearing blazes because he lost 20 quid he
[31137]    said he lost over that outsider that won and half he put on for me on
[31138]    account of Lenehans tip cursing him to the lowest pits that sponger he
[31139]    was making free with me after the Glencree dinner coming back that long
[31140]    joult over the featherbed mountain after the lord Mayor looking at me
[31141]    with his dirty eyes Val Dillon that big heathen I first noticed him at
[31142]    dessert when I was cracking the nuts with my teeth I wished I could have
[31143]    picked every morsel of that chicken out of my fingers it was so tasty and
[31144]    browned and as tender as anything only for I didnt want to eat everything
[31145]    on my plate those forks and fishslicers were hallmarked silver too I wish
[31146]    I had some I could easily have slipped a couple into my muff when I was
[31147]    playing with them then always hanging out of them for money in a
[31148]    restaurant for the bit you put down your throat we have to be thankful
[31149]    for our mangy cup of tea itself as a great compliment to be noticed the
[31150]    way the world is divided in any case if its going to go on I want at
[31151]    least two other good chemises for one thing and but I dont know what kind
[31152]    of drawers he likes none at all I think didnt he say yes and half the
[31153]    girls in Gibraltar never wore them either naked as God made them that
[31154]    Andalusian singing her Manola she didnt make much secret of what she
[31155]    hadnt yes and the second pair of silkette stockings is laddered after one
[31156]    days wear I could have brought them back to Lewers this morning and
[31157]    kicked up a row and made that one change them only not to upset myself
[31158]    and run the risk of walking into him and ruining the whole thing and one
[31159]    of those kidfitting corsets Id want advertised cheap in the Gentlewoman
[31160]    with elastic gores on the hips he saved the one I have but thats no good
[31161]    what did they say they give a delightful figure line 11/6 obviating that
[31162]    unsightly broad appearance across the lower back to reduce flesh my belly
[31163]    is a bit too big Ill have to knock off the stout at dinner or am I
[31164]    getting too fond of it the last they sent from ORourkes was as flat as a
[31165]    pancake he makes his money easy Larry they call him the old mangy parcel
[31166]    he sent at Xmas a cottage cake and a bottle of hogwash he tried to palm
[31167]    off as claret that he couldnt get anyone to drink God spare his spit for
[31168]    fear hed die of the drouth or I must do a few breathing exercises I
[31169]    wonder is that antifat any good might overdo it the thin ones are not so
[31170]    much the fashion now garters that much I have the violet pair I wore
[31171]    today thats all he bought me out of the cheque he got on the first O no
[31172]    there was the face lotion I finished the last of yesterday that made my
[31173]    skin like new I told him over and over again get that made up in the same
[31174]    place and dont forget it God only knows whether he did after all I said
[31175]    to him Ill know by the bottle anyway if not I suppose Ill only have to
[31176]    wash in my piss like beeftea or chickensoup with some of that opoponax
[31177]    and violet I thought it was beginning to look coarse or old a bit the
[31178]    skin underneath is much finer where it peeled off there on my finger
[31179]    after the burn its a pity it isnt all like that and the four paltry
[31180]    handkerchiefs about 6/- in all sure you cant get on in this world without
[31181]    style all going in food and rent when I get it Ill lash it around I tell
[31182]    you in fine style I always want to throw a handful of tea into the pot
[31183]    measuring and mincing if I buy a pair of old brogues itself do you like
[31184]    those new shoes yes how much were they Ive no clothes at all the brown
[31185]    costume and the skirt and jacket and the one at the cleaners 3 whats that
[31186]    for any woman cutting up this old hat and patching up the other the men
[31187]    wont look at you and women try to walk on you because they know youve no
[31188]    man then with all the things getting dearer every day for the 4 years
[31189]    more I have of life up to 35 no Im what am I at all Ill be 33 in
[31190]    September will I what O well look at that Mrs Galbraith shes much older
[31191]    than me I saw her when I was out last week her beautys on the wane she
[31192]    was a lovely woman magnificent head of hair on her down to her waist
[31193]    tossing it back like that like Kitty OShea in Grantham street 1st thing I
[31194]    did every morning to look across see her combing it as if she loved it
[31195]    and was full of it pity I only got to know her the day before we left and
[31196]    that Mrs Langtry the jersey lily the prince of Wales was in love with I
[31197]    suppose hes like the first man going the roads only for the name of a
[31198]    king theyre all made the one way only a black mans Id like to try a
[31199]    beauty up to what was she 45 there was some funny story about the jealous
[31200]    old husband what was it at all and an oyster knife he went no he made her
[31201]    wear a kind of a tin thing round her and the prince of Wales yes he had
[31202]    the oyster knife cant be true a thing like that like some of those books
[31203]    he brings me the works of Master Francois Somebody supposed to be a
[31204]    priest about a child born out of her ear because her bumgut fell out a
[31205]    nice word for any priest to write and her a--e as if any fool wouldnt
[31206]    know what that meant I hate that pretending of all things with that old
[31207]    blackguards face on him anybody can see its not true and that Ruby and
[31208]    Fair Tyrants he brought me that twice I remember when I came to page 50
[31209]    the part about where she hangs him up out of a hook with a cord
[31210]    flagellate sure theres nothing for a woman in that all invention made up
[31211]    about he drinking the champagne out of her slipper after the ball was
[31212]    over like the infant Jesus in the crib at Inchicore in the Blessed
[31213]    Virgins arms sure no woman could have a child that big taken out of her
[31214]    and I thought first it came out of her side because how could she go to
[31215]    the chamber when she wanted to and she a rich lady of course she felt
[31216]    honoured H R H he was in Gibraltar the year I was born I bet he found
[31217]    lilies there too where he planted the tree he planted more than that in
[31218]    his time he might have planted me too if hed come a bit sooner then I
[31219]    wouldnt be here as I am he ought to chuck that Freeman with the paltry
[31220]    few shillings he knocks out of it and go into an office or something
[31221]    where hed get regular pay or a bank where they could put him up on a
[31222]    throne to count the money all the day of course he prefers plottering
[31223]    about the house so you cant stir with him any side whats your programme
[31224]    today I wish hed even smoke a pipe like father to get the smell of a man
[31225]    or pretending to be mooching about for advertisements when he could have
[31226]    been in Mr Cuffes still only for what he did then sending me to try and
[31227]    patch it up I could have got him promoted there to be the manager he gave
[31228]    me a great mirada once or twice first he was as stiff as the mischief
[31229]    really and truly Mrs Bloom only I felt rotten simply with the old
[31230]    rubbishy dress that I lost the leads out of the tails with no cut in it
[31231]    but theyre coming into fashion again I bought it simply to please him I
[31232]    knew it was no good by the finish pity I changed my mind of going to Todd
[31233]    and Bums as I said and not Lees it was just like the shop itself rummage
[31234]    sale a lot of trash I hate those rich shops get on your nerves nothing
[31235]    kills me altogether only he thinks he knows a great lot about a womans
[31236]    dress and cooking mathering everything he can scour off the shelves into
[31237]    it if I went by his advices every blessed hat I put on does that suit me
[31238]    yes take that thats alright the one like a weddingcake standing up miles
[31239]    off my head he said suited me or the dishcover one coming down on my
[31240]    backside on pins and needles about the shopgirl in that place in Grafton
[31241]    street I had the misfortune to bring him into and she as insolent as ever
[31242]    she could be with her smirk saying Im afraid were giving you too much
[31243]    trouble what shes there for but I stared it out of her yes he was awfully
[31244]    stiff and no wonder but he changed the second time he looked Poldy
[31245]    pigheaded as usual like the soup but I could see him looking very hard at
[31246]    my chest when he stood up to open the door for me it was nice of him to
[31247]    show me out in any case Im extremely sorry Mrs Bloom believe me without
[31248]    making it too marked the first time after him being insulted and me being
[31249]    supposed to be his wife I just half smiled I know my chest was out that
[31250]    way at the door when he said Im extremely sorry and Im sure you were
[31251]    
[31252]    yes I think he made them a bit firmer sucking them like that so long he
[31253]    made me thirsty titties he calls them I had to laugh yes this one anyhow
[31254]    stiff the nipple gets for the least thing Ill get him to keep that up and
[31255]    Ill take those eggs beaten up with marsala fatten them out for him what
[31256]    are all those veins and things curious the way its made 2 the same in
[31257]    case of twins theyre supposed to represent beauty placed up there like
[31258]    those statues in the museum one of them pretending to hide it with her
[31259]    hand are they so beautiful of course compared with what a man looks like
[31260]    with his two bags full and his other thing hanging down out of him or
[31261]    sticking up at you like a hatrack no wonder they hide it with a
[31262]    cabbageleaf that disgusting Cameron highlander behind the meat market or
[31263]    that other wretch with the red head behind the tree where the statue of
[31264]    the fish used to be when I was passing pretending he was pissing standing
[31265]    out for me to see it with his babyclothes up to one side the Queens own
[31266]    they were a nice lot its well the Surreys relieved them theyre always
[31267]    trying to show it to you every time nearly I passed outside the mens
[31268]    greenhouse near the Harcourt street station just to try some fellow or
[31269]    other trying to catch my eye as if it was I of the 7 wonders of the world
[31270]    O and the stink of those rotten places the night coming home with Poldy
[31271]    after the Comerfords party oranges and lemonade to make you feel nice and
[31272]    watery I went into r of them it was so biting cold I couldnt keep it when
[31273]    was that 93 the canal was frozen yes it was a few months after a pity a
[31274]    couple of the Camerons werent there to see me squatting in the mens place
[31275]    meadero I tried to draw a picture of it before I tore it up like a
[31276]    sausage or something I wonder theyre not afraid going about of getting a
[31277]    kick or a bang of something there the woman is beauty of course thats
[31278]    admitted when he said I could pose for a picture naked to some rich
[31279]    fellow in Holles street when he lost the job in Helys and I was selling
[31280]    the clothes and strumming in the coffee palace would I be like that bath
[31281]    of the nymph with my hair down yes only shes younger or Im a little like
[31282]    that dirty bitch in that Spanish photo he has nymphs used they go about
[31283]    like that I asked him about her and that word met something with hoses in
[31284]    it and he came out with some jawbreakers about the incarnation he never
[31285]    can explain a thing simply the way a body can understand then he goes and
[31286]    burns the bottom out of the pan all for his Kidney this one not so much
[31287]    theres the mark of his teeth still where he tried to bite the nipple I
[31288]    had to scream out arent they fearful trying to hurt you I had a great
[31289]    breast of milk with Milly enough for two what was the reason of that he
[31290]    said I could have got a pound a week as a wet nurse all swelled out the
[31291]    morning that delicate looking student that stopped in no 28 with the
[31292]    Citrons Penrose nearly caught me washing through the window only for I
[31293]    snapped up the towel to my face that was his studenting hurt me they used
[31294]    to weaning her till he got doctor Brady to give me the belladonna
[31295]    prescription I had to get him to suck them they were so hard he said it
[31296]    was sweeter and thicker than cows then he wanted to milk me into the tea
[31297]    well hes beyond everything I declare somebody ought to put him in the
[31298]    budget if I only could remember the I half of the things and write a book
[31299]    out of it the works of Master Poldy yes and its so much smoother the skin
[31300]    much an hour he was at them Im sure by the clock like some kind of a big
[31301]    infant I had at me they want everything in their mouth all the pleasure
[31302]    those men get out of a woman I can feel his mouth O Lord I must stretch
[31303]    myself I wished he was here or somebody to let myself go with and come
[31304]    again like that I feel all fire inside me or if I could dream it when he
[31305]    made me spend the 2nd time tickling me behind with his finger I was
[31306]    coming for about 5 minutes with my legs round him I had to hug him after
[31307]    O Lord I wanted to shout out all sorts of things fuck or shit or anything
[31308]    at all only not to look ugly or those lines from the strain who knows the
[31309]    way hed take it you want to feel your way with a man theyre not all like
[31310]    him thank God some of them want you to be so nice about it I noticed the
[31311]    contrast he does it and doesnt talk I gave my eyes that look with my hair
[31312]    a bit loose from the tumbling and my tongue between my lips up to him the
[31313]    savage brute Thursday Friday one Saturday two Sunday three O Lord I cant
[31314]    wait till Monday
[31315]    
[31316]    frseeeeeeeefronnnng train somewhere whistling the strength those engines
[31317]    have in them like big giants and the water rolling all over and out of
[31318]    them all sides like the end of Loves old sweeeetsonnnng the poor men that
[31319]    have to be out all the night from their wives and families in those
[31320]    roasting engines stifling it was today Im glad I burned the half of those
[31321]    old Freemans and Photo Bits leaving things like that lying about hes
[31322]    getting very careless and threw the rest of them up in the W C Ill get
[31323]    him to cut them tomorrow for me instead of having them there for the next
[31324]    year to get a few pence for them have him asking wheres last Januarys
[31325]    paper and all those old overcoats I bundled out of the hall making the
[31326]    place hotter than it is that rain was lovely and refreshing just after my
[31327]    beauty sleep I thought it was going to get like Gibraltar my goodness the
[31328]    heat there before the levanter came on black as night and the glare of
[31329]    the rock standing up in it like a big giant compared with their 3 Rock
[31330]    mountain they think is so great with the red sentries here and there the
[31331]    poplars and they all whitehot and the smell of the rainwater in those
[31332]    tanks watching the sun all the time weltering down on you faded all that
[31333]    lovely frock fathers friend Mrs Stanhope sent me from the B Marche paris
[31334]    what a shame my dearest Doggerina she wrote on it she was very nice whats
[31335]    this her other name was just a p c to tell you I sent the little present
[31336]    have just had a jolly warm bath and feel a very clean dog now enjoyed it
[31337]    wogger she called him wogger wd give anything to be back in Gib and hear
[31338]    you sing Waiting and in old Madrid Concone is the name of those exercises
[31339]    he bought me one of those new some word I couldnt make out shawls amusing
[31340]    things but tear for the least thing still there lovely I think dont you
[31341]    will always think of the lovely teas we had together scrumptious currant
[31342]    scones and raspberry wafers I adore well now dearest Doggerina be sure
[31343]    and write soon kind she left out regards to your father also captain
[31344]    Grove with love yrs affly Hester x x x x x she didnt look a bit married
[31345]    just like a girl he was years older than her wogger he was awfully fond
[31346]    of me when he held down the wire with his foot for me to step over at the
[31347]    bullfight at La Linea when that matador Gomez was given the bulls ear
[31348]    these clothes we have to wear whoever invented them expecting you to walk
[31349]    up Killiney hill then for example at that picnic all staysed up you cant
[31350]    do a blessed thing in them in a crowd run or jump out of the way thats
[31351]    why I was afraid when that other ferocious old Bull began to charge the
[31352]    banderilleros with the sashes and the 2 things in their hats and the
[31353]    brutes of men shouting bravo toro sure the women were as bad in their
[31354]    nice white mantillas ripping all the whole insides out of those poor
[31355]    horses I never heard of such a thing in all my life yes he used to break
[31356]    his heart at me taking off the dog barking in bell lane poor brute and it
[31357]    sick what became of them ever I suppose theyre dead long ago the 2 of
[31358]    them its like all through a mist makes you feel so old I made the scones
[31359]    of course I had everything all to myself then a girl Hester we used to
[31360]    compare our hair mine was thicker than hers she showed me how to settle
[31361]    it at the back when I put it up and whats this else how to make a knot on
[31362]    a thread with the one hand we were like cousins what age was I then the
[31363]    night of the storm I slept in her bed she had her arms round me then we
[31364]    were fighting in the morning with the pillow what fun he was watching me
[31365]    whenever he got an opportunity at the band on the Alameda esplanade when
[31366]    I was with father and captain Grove I looked up at the church first and
[31367]    then at the windows then down and our eyes met I felt something go
[31368]    through me like all needles my eyes were dancing I remember after when I
[31369]    looked at myself in the glass hardly recognised myself the change he was
[31370]    attractive to a girl in spite of his being a little bald intelligent
[31371]    looking disappointed and gay at the same time he was like Thomas in the
[31372]    shadow of Ashlydyat I had a splendid skin from the sun and the excitement
[31373]    like a rose I didnt get a wink of sleep it wouldnt have been nice on
[31374]    account of her but I could have stopped it in time she gave me the
[31375]    Moonstone to read that was the first I read of Wilkie Collins East Lynne
[31376]    I read and the shadow of Ashlydyat Mrs Henry Wood Henry Dunbar by that
[31377]    other woman I lent him afterwards with Mulveys photo in it so as he see I
[31378]    wasnt without and Lord Lytton Eugene Aram Molly bawn she gave me by Mrs
[31379]    Hungerford on account of the name I dont like books with a Molly in them
[31380]    like that one he brought me about the one from Flanders a whore always
[31381]    shoplifting anything she could cloth and stuff and yards of it O this
[31382]    blanket is too heavy on me thats better I havent even one decent
[31383]    nightdress this thing gets all rolled under me besides him and his
[31384]    fooling thats better I used to be weltering then in the heat my shift
[31385]    drenched with the sweat stuck in the cheeks of my bottom on the chair
[31386]    when I stood up they were so fattish and firm when I got up on the sofa
[31387]    cushions to see with my clothes up and the bugs tons of them at night and
[31388]    the mosquito nets I couldnt read a line Lord how long ago it seems
[31389]    centuries of course they never came back and she didnt put her address
[31390]    right on it either she may have noticed her wogger people were always
[31391]    going away and we never I remember that day with the waves and the boats
[31392]    with their high heads rocking and the smell of ship those Officers
[31393]    uniforms on shore leave made me seasick he didnt say anything he was very
[31394]    serious I had the high buttoned boots on and my skirt was blowing she
[31395]    kissed me six or seven times didnt I cry yes I believe I did or near it
[31396]    my lips were taittering when I said goodbye she had a Gorgeous wrap of
[31397]    some special kind of blue colour on her for the voyage made very
[31398]    peculiarly to one side like and it was extremely pretty it got as dull as
[31399]    the devil after they went I was almost planning to run away mad out of it
[31400]    somewhere were never easy where we are father or aunt or marriage waiting
[31401]    always waiting to guiiiide him toooo me waiting nor speeeed his flying
[31402]    feet their damn guns bursting and booming all over the shop especially
[31403]    the Queens birthday and throwing everything down in all directions if you
[31404]    didnt open the windows when general Ulysses Grant whoever he was or did
[31405]    supposed to be some great fellow landed off the ship and old Sprague the
[31406]    consul that was there from before the flood dressed up poor man and he in
[31407]    mourning for the son then the same old bugles for reveille in the morning
[31408]    and drums rolling and the unfortunate poor devils of soldiers walking
[31409]    about with messtins smelling the place more than the old longbearded jews
[31410]    in their jellibees and levites assembly and sound clear and gunfire for
[31411]    the men to cross the lines and the warden marching with his keys to lock
[31412]    the gates and the bagpipes and only captain Groves and father talking
[31413]    about Rorkes drift and Plevna and sir Garnet Wolseley and Gordon at
[31414]    Khartoum lighting their pipes for them everytime they went out drunken
[31415]    old devil with his grog on the windowsill catch him leaving any of it
[31416]    picking his nose trying to think of some other dirty story to tell up in
[31417]    a corner but he never forgot himself when I was there sending me out of
[31418]    the room on some blind excuse paying his compliments the Bushmills whisky
[31419]    talking of course but hed do the same to the next woman that came along I
[31420]    suppose he died of galloping drink ages ago the days like years not a
[31421]    letter from a living soul except the odd few I posted to myself with bits
[31422]    of paper in them so bored sometimes I could fight with my nails listening
[31423]    to that old Arab with the one eye and his heass of an instrument singing
[31424]    his heah heah aheah all my compriments on your hotchapotch of your heass
[31425]    as bad as now with the hands hanging off me looking out of the window if
[31426]    there was a nice fellow even in the opposite house that medical in Holles
[31427]    street the nurse was after when I put on my gloves and hat at the window
[31428]    to show I was going out not a notion what I meant arent they thick never
[31429]    understand what you say even youd want to print it up on a big poster for
[31430]    them not even if you shake hands twice with the left he didnt recognise
[31431]    me either when I half frowned at him outside Westland row chapel where
[31432]    does their great intelligence come in Id like to know grey matter they
[31433]    have it all in their tail if you ask me those country gougers up in the
[31434]    City Arms intelligence they had a damn sight less than the bulls and cows
[31435]    they were selling the meat and the coalmans bell that noisy bugger trying
[31436]    to swindle me with the wrong bill he took out of his hat what a pair of
[31437]    paws and pots and pans and kettles to mend any broken bottles for a poor
[31438]    man today and no visitors or post ever except his cheques or some
[31439]    advertisement like that wonderworker they sent him addressed dear Madam
[31440]    only his letter and the card from Milly this morning see she wrote a
[31441]    letter to him who did I get the last letter from O Mrs Dwenn now what
[31442]    possessed her to write from Canada after so many years to know the recipe
[31443]    I had for pisto madrileno Floey Dillon since she wrote to say she was
[31444]    married to a very rich architect if Im to believe all I hear with a villa
[31445]    and eight rooms her father was an awfully nice man he was near seventy
[31446]    always goodhumoured well now Miss Tweedy or Miss Gillespie theres the
[31447]    piannyer that was a solid silver coffee service he had too on the
[31448]    mahogany sideboard then dying so far away I hate people that have always
[31449]    their poor story to tell everybody has their own troubles that poor Nancy
[31450]    Blake died a month ago of acute neumonia well I didnt know her so well as
[31451]    all that she was Floeys friend more than mine poor Nancy its a bother
[31452]    having to answer he always tells me the wrong things and no stops to say
[31453]    like making a speech your sad bereavement symphathy I always make that
[31454]    mistake and newphew with 2 double yous in I hope hell write me a longer
[31455]    letter the next time if its a thing he really likes me O thanks be to the
[31456]    great God I got somebody to give me what I badly wanted to put some heart
[31457]    up into me youve no chances at all in this place like you used long ago I
[31458]    wish somebody would write me a loveletter his wasnt much and I told him
[31459]    he could write what he liked yours ever Hugh Boylan in old Madrid stuff
[31460]    silly women believe love is sighing I am dying still if he wrote it I
[31461]    suppose thered be some truth in it true or no it fills up your whole day
[31462]    and life always something to think about every moment and see it all
[31463]    round you like a new world I could write the answer in bed to let him
[31464]    imagine me short just a few words not those long crossed letters Atty
[31465]    Dillon used to write to the fellow that was something in the four courts
[31466]    that jilted her after out of the ladies letterwriter when I told her to
[31467]    say a few simple words he could twist how he liked not acting with
[31468]    precipat precip itancy with equal candour the greatest earthly happiness
[31469]    answer to a gentlemans proposal affirmatively my goodness theres nothing
[31470]    else its all very fine for them but as for being a woman as soon as youre
[31471]    old they might as well throw you out in the bottom of the ashpit.
[31472]    
[31473]    Mulveys was the first when I was in bed that morning and Mrs Rubio
[31474]    brought it in with the coffee she stood there standing when I asked her
[31475]    to hand me and I pointing at them I couldnt think of the word a hairpin
[31476]    to open it with ah horquilla disobliging old thing and it staring her in
[31477]    the face with her switch of false hair on her and vain about her
[31478]    appearance ugly as she was near 80 or a 100 her face a mass of wrinkles
[31479]    with all her religion domineering because she never could get over the
[31480]    Atlantic fleet coming in half the ships of the world and the Union Jack
[31481]    flying with all her carabineros because 4 drunken English sailors took
[31482]    all the rock from them and because I didnt run into mass often enough in
[31483]    Santa Maria to please her with her shawl up on her except when there was
[31484]    a marriage on with all her miracles of the saints and her black blessed
[31485]    virgin with the silver dress and the sun dancing 3 times on Easter Sunday
[31486]    morning and when the priest was going by with the bell bringing the
[31487]    vatican to the dying blessing herself for his Majestad an admirer he
[31488]    signed it I near jumped out of my skin I wanted to pick him up when I saw
[31489]    him following me along the Calle Real in the shop window then he tipped
[31490]    me just in passing but I never thought hed write making an appointment I
[31491]    had it inside my petticoat bodice all day reading it up in every hole and
[31492]    corner while father was up at the drill instructing to find out by the
[31493]    handwriting or the language of stamps singing I remember shall I wear a
[31494]    white rose and I wanted to put on the old stupid clock to near the time
[31495]    he was the first man kissed me under the Moorish wall my sweetheart when
[31496]    a boy it never entered my head what kissing meant till he put his tongue
[31497]    in my mouth his mouth was sweetlike young I put my knee up to him a few
[31498]    times to learn the way what did I tell him I was engaged for for fun to
[31499]    the son of a Spanish nobleman named Don Miguel de la Flora and he
[31500]    believed me that I was to be married to him in 3 years time theres many a
[31501]    true word spoken in jest there is a flower that bloometh a few things I
[31502]    told him true about myself just for him to be imagining the Spanish girls
[31503]    he didnt like I suppose one of them wouldnt have him I got him excited he
[31504]    crushed all the flowers on my bosom he brought me he couldnt count the
[31505]    pesetas and the perragordas till I taught him Cappoquin he came from he
[31506]    said on the black water but it was too short then the day before he left
[31507]    May yes it was May when the infant king of Spain was born Im always like
[31508]    that in the spring Id like a new fellow every year up on the tiptop under
[31509]    the rockgun near OHaras tower I told him it was struck by lightning and
[31510]    all about the old Barbary apes they sent to Clapham without a tail
[31511]    careering all over the show on each others back Mrs Rubio said she was a
[31512]    regular old rock scorpion robbing the chickens out of Inces farm and
[31513]    throw stones at you if you went anear he was looking at me I had that
[31514]    white blouse on open in the front to encourage him as much as I could
[31515]    without too openly they were just beginning to be plump I said I was
[31516]    tired we lay over the firtree cove a wild place I suppose it must be the
[31517]    highest rock in existence the galleries and casemates and those frightful
[31518]    rocks and Saint Michaels cave with the icicles or whatever they call them
[31519]    hanging down and ladders all the mud plotching my boots Im sure thats the
[31520]    way down the monkeys go under the sea to Africa when they die the ships
[31521]    out far like chips that was the Malta boat passing yes the sea and the
[31522]    sky you could do what you liked lie there for ever he caressed them
[31523]    outside they love doing that its the roundness there I was leaning over
[31524]    him with my white ricestraw hat to take the newness out of it the left
[31525]    side of my face the best my blouse open for his last day transparent kind
[31526]    of shirt he had I could see his chest pink he wanted to touch mine with
[31527]    his for a moment but I wouldnt lee him he was awfully put out first for
[31528]    fear you never know consumption or leave me with a child embarazada that
[31529]    old servant Ines told me that one drop even if it got into you at all
[31530]    after I tried with the Banana but I was afraid it might break and get
[31531]    lost up in me somewhere because they once took something down out of a
[31532]    woman that was up there for years covered with limesalts theyre all mad
[31533]    to get in there where they come out of youd think they could never go far
[31534]    enough up and then theyre done with you in a way till the next time yes
[31535]    because theres a wonderful feeling there so tender all the time how did
[31536]    we finish it off yes O yes I pulled him off into my handkerchief
[31537]    pretending not to be excited but I opened my legs I wouldnt let him touch
[31538]    me inside my petticoat because I had a skirt opening up the side I
[31539]    tormented the life out of him first tickling him I loved rousing that dog
[31540]    in the hotel rrrsssstt awokwokawok his eyes shut and a bird flying below
[31541]    us he was shy all the same I liked him like that moaning I made him blush
[31542]    a little when I got over him that way when I unbuttoned him and took his
[31543]    out and drew back the skin it had a kind of eye in it theyre all Buttons
[31544]    men down the middle on the wrong side of them Molly darling he called me
[31545]    what was his name Jack Joe Harry Mulvey was it yes I think a lieutenant
[31546]    he was rather fair he had a laughing kind of a voice so I went round to
[31547]    the whatyoucallit everything was whatyoucallit moustache had he he said
[31548]    hed come back Lord its just like yesterday to me and if I was married hed
[31549]    do it to me and I promised him yes faithfully Id let him block me now
[31550]    flying perhaps hes dead or killed or a captain or admiral its nearly 20
[31551]    years if I said firtree cove he would if he came up behind me and put his
[31552]    hands over my eyes to guess who I might recognise him hes young still
[31553]    about 40 perhaps hes married some girl on the black water and is quite
[31554]    changed they all do they havent half the character a woman has she little
[31555]    knows what I did with her beloved husband before he ever dreamt of her in
[31556]    broad daylight too in the sight of the whole world you might say they
[31557]    could have put an article about it in the Chronicle I was a bit wild
[31558]    after when I blew out the old bag the biscuits were in from Benady Bros
[31559]    and exploded it Lord what a bang all the woodcocks and pigeons screaming
[31560]    coming back the same way that we went over middle hill round by the old
[31561]    guardhouse and the jews burialplace pretending to read out the Hebrew on
[31562]    them I wanted to fire his pistol he said he hadnt one he didnt know what
[31563]    to make of me with his peak cap on that he always wore crooked as often
[31564]    as I settled it straight H M S Calypso swinging my hat that old Bishop
[31565]    that spoke off the altar his long preach about womans higher functions
[31566]    about girls now riding the bicycle and wearing peak caps and the new
[31567]    woman bloomers God send him sense and me more money I suppose theyre
[31568]    called after him I never thought that would be my name Bloom when I used
[31569]    to write it in print to see how it looked on a visiting card or
[31570]    practising for the butcher and oblige M Bloom youre looking blooming
[31571]    Josie used to say after I married him well its better than Breen or
[31572]    Briggs does brig or those awful names with bottom in them Mrs Ramsbottom
[31573]    or some other kind of a bottom Mulvey I wouldnt go mad about either or
[31574]    suppose I divorced him Mrs Boylan my mother whoever she was might have
[31575]    given me a nicer name the Lord knows after the lovely one she had Lunita
[31576]    Laredo the fun we had running along Williss road to Europa point twisting
[31577]    in and out all round the other side of Jersey they were shaking and
[31578]    dancing about in my blouse like Millys little ones now when she runs up
[31579]    the stairs I loved looking down at them I was jumping up at the pepper
[31580]    trees and the white poplars pulling the leaves off and throwing them at
[31581]    him he went to India he was to write the voyages those men have to make
[31582]    to the ends of the world and back its the least they might get a squeeze
[31583]    or two at a woman while they can going out to be drowned or blown up
[31584]    somewhere I went up Windmill hill to the flats that Sunday morning with
[31585]    captain Rubios that was dead spyglass like the sentry had he said hed
[31586]    have one or two from on board I wore that frock from the B Marche paris
[31587]    and the coral necklace the straits shining I could see over to Morocco
[31588]    almost the bay of Tangier white and the Atlas mountain with snow on it
[31589]    and the straits like a river so clear Harry Molly darling I was thinking
[31590]    of him on the sea all the time after at mass when my petticoat began to
[31591]    slip down at the elevation weeks and weeks I kept the handkerchief under
[31592]    my pillow for the smell of him there was no decent perfume to be got in
[31593]    that Gibraltar only that cheap peau despagne that faded and left a stink
[31594]    on you more than anything else I wanted to give him a memento he gave me
[31595]    that clumsy Claddagh ring for luck that I gave Gardner going to south
[31596]    Africa where those Boers killed him with their war and fever but they
[31597]    were well beaten all the same as if it brought its bad luck with it like
[31598]    an opal or pearl still it must have been pure 18 carrot gold because it
[31599]    was very heavy but what could you get in a place like that the sandfrog
[31600]    shower from Africa and that derelict ship that came up to the harbour
[31601]    Marie the Marie whatyoucallit no he hadnt a moustache that was Gardner
[31602]    yes I can see his face cleanshaven Frseeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeefrong that
[31603]    train again weeping tone once in the dear deaead days beyondre call close
[31604]    my eyes breath my lips forward kiss sad look eyes open piano ere oer the
[31605]    world the mists began I hate that istsbeg comes loves sweet
[31606]    sooooooooooong Ill let that out full when I get in front of the
[31607]    footlights again Kathleen Kearney and her lot of squealers Miss This Miss
[31608]    That Miss Theother lot of sparrowfarts skitting around talking about
[31609]    politics they know as much about as my backside anything in the world to
[31610]    make themselves someway interesting Irish homemade beauties soldiers
[31611]    daughter am I ay and whose are you bootmakers and publicans I beg your
[31612]    pardon coach I thought you were a wheelbarrow theyd die down dead off
[31613]    their feet if ever they got a chance of walking down the Alameda on an
[31614]    officers arm like me on the bandnight my eyes flash my bust that they
[31615]    havent passion God help their poor head I knew more about men and life
[31616]    when I was I S than theyll all know at 50 they dont know how to sing a
[31617]    song like that Gardner said no man could look at my mouth and teeth
[31618]    smiling like that and not think of it I was afraid he mightnt like my
[31619]    accent first he so English all father left me in spite of his stamps Ive
[31620]    my mothers eyes and figure anyhow he always said theyre so snotty about
[31621]    themselves some of those cads he wasnt a bit like that he was dead gone
[31622]    on my lips let them get a husband first thats fit to be looked at and a
[31623]    daughter like mine or see if they can excite a swell with money that can
[31624]    pick and choose whoever he wants like Boylan to do it 4 or 5 times locked
[31625]    in each others arms or the voice either I could have been a prima donna
[31626]    only I married him comes looooves old deep down chin back not too much
[31627]    make it double My Ladys Bower is too long for an encore about the moated
[31628]    grange at twilight and vaunted rooms yes Ill sing Winds that blow from
[31629]    the south that he gave after the choirstairs performance Ill change that
[31630]    lace on my black dress to show off my bubs and Ill yes by God Ill get
[31631]    that big fan mended make them burst with envy my hole is itching me
[31632]    always when I think of him I feel I want to I feel some wind in me better
[31633]    go easy not wake him have him at it again slobbering after washing every
[31634]    bit of myself back belly and sides if we had even a bath itself or my own
[31635]    room anyway I wish hed sleep in some bed by himself with his cold feet on
[31636]    me give us room even to let a fart God or do the least thing better yes
[31637]    hold them like that a bit on my side piano quietly sweeeee theres that
[31638]    train far away pianissimo eeeee one more song
[31639]    
[31640]    that was a relief wherever you be let your wind go free who knows if that
[31641]    pork chop I took with my cup of tea after was quite good with the heat I
[31642]    couldnt smell anything off it Im sure that queerlooking man in the
[31643]    porkbutchers is a great rogue I hope that lamp is not smoking fill my
[31644]    nose up with smuts better than having him leaving the gas on all night I
[31645]    couldnt rest easy in my bed in Gibraltar even getting up to see why am I
[31646]    so damned nervous about that though I like it in the winter its more
[31647]    company O Lord it was rotten cold too that winter when I was only about
[31648]    ten was I yes I had the big doll with all the funny clothes dressing her
[31649]    up and undressing that icy wind skeeting across from those mountains the
[31650]    something Nevada sierra nevada standing at the fire with the little bit
[31651]    of a short shift I had up to heat myself I loved dancing about in it then
[31652]    make a race back into bed Im sure that fellow opposite used to be there
[31653]    the whole time watching with the lights out in the summer and I in my
[31654]    skin hopping around I used to love myself then stripped at the washstand
[31655]    dabbing and creaming only when it came to the chamber performance I put
[31656]    out the light too so then there were 2 of us goodbye to my sleep for this
[31657]    night anyhow I hope hes not going to get in with those medicals leading
[31658]    him astray to imagine hes young again coming in at 4 in the morning it
[31659]    must be if not more still he had the manners not to wake me what do they
[31660]    find to gabber about all night squandering money and getting drunker and
[31661]    drunker couldnt they drink water then he starts giving us his orders for
[31662]    eggs and tea and Findon haddy and hot buttered toast I suppose well have
[31663]    him sitting up like the king of the country pumping the wrong end of the
[31664]    spoon up and down in his egg wherever he learned that from and I love to
[31665]    hear him falling up the stairs of a morning with the cups rattling on the
[31666]    tray and then play with the cat she rubs up against you for her own sake
[31667]    I wonder has she fleas shes as bad as a woman always licking and lecking
[31668]    but I hate their claws I wonder do they see anything that we cant staring
[31669]    like that when she sits at the top of the stairs so long and listening as
[31670]    I wait always what a robber too that lovely fresh place I bought I think
[31671]    Ill get a bit of fish tomorrow or today is it Friday yes I will with some
[31672]    blancmange with black currant jam like long ago not those 2 lb pots of
[31673]    mixed plum and apple from the London and Newcastle Williams and Woods
[31674]    goes twice as far only for the bones I hate those eels cod yes Ill get a
[31675]    nice piece of cod Im always getting enough for 3 forgetting anyway Im
[31676]    sick of that everlasting butchers meat from Buckleys loin chops and leg
[31677]    beef and rib steak and scrag of mutton and calfs pluck the very name is
[31678]    enough or a picnic suppose we all gave 5/- each and or let him pay it and
[31679]    invite some other woman for him who Mrs Fleming and drove out to the
[31680]    furry glen or the strawberry beds wed have him examining all the horses
[31681]    toenails first like he does with the letters no not with Boylan there yes
[31682]    with some cold veal and ham mixed sandwiches there are little houses down
[31683]    at the bottom of the banks there on purpose but its as hot as blazes he
[31684]    says not a bank holiday anyhow I hate those ruck of Mary Ann coalboxes
[31685]    out for the day Whit Monday is a cursed day too no wonder that bee bit
[31686]    him better the seaside but Id never again in this life get into a boat
[31687]    with him after him at Bray telling the boatman he knew how to row if
[31688]    anyone asked could he ride the steeplechase for the gold cup hed say yes
[31689]    then it came on to get rough the old thing crookeding about and the
[31690]    weight all down my side telling me pull the right reins now pull the left
[31691]    and the tide all swamping in floods in through the bottom and his oar
[31692]    slipping out of the stirrup its a mercy we werent all drowned he can swim
[31693]    of course me no theres no danger whatsoever keep yourself calm in his
[31694]    flannel trousers Id like to have tattered them down off him before all
[31695]    the people and give him what that one calls flagellate till he was black
[31696]    and blue do him all the good in the world only for that longnosed chap I
[31697]    dont know who he is with that other beauty Burke out of the City Arms
[31698]    hotel was there spying around as usual on the slip always where he wasnt
[31699]    wanted if there was a row on youd vomit a better face there was no love
[31700]    lost between us thats 1 consolation I wonder what kind is that book he
[31701]    brought me Sweets of Sin by a gentleman of fashion some other Mr de Kock
[31702]    I suppose the people gave him that nickname going about with his tube
[31703]    from one woman to another I couldnt even change my new white shoes all
[31704]    ruined with the saltwater and the hat I had with that feather all blowy
[31705]    and tossed on me how annoying and provoking because the smell of the sea
[31706]    excited me of course the sardines and the bream in Catalan bay round the
[31707]    back of the rock they were fine all silver in the fishermens baskets old
[31708]    Luigi near a hundred they said came from Genoa and the tall old chap with
[31709]    the earrings I dont like a man you have to climb up to to get at I
[31710]    suppose theyre all dead and rotten long ago besides I dont like being
[31711]    alone in this big barracks of a place at night I suppose Ill have to put
[31712]    up with it I never brought a bit of salt in even when we moved in the
[31713]    confusion musical academy he was going to make on the first floor
[31714]    drawingroom with a brassplate or Blooms private hotel he suggested go and
[31715]    ruin himself altogether the way his father did down in Ennis like all the
[31716]    things he told father he was going to do and me but I saw through him
[31717]    telling me all the lovely places we could go for the honeymoon Venice by
[31718]    moonlight with the gondolas and the lake of Como he had a picture cut out
[31719]    of some paper of and mandolines and lanterns O how nice I said whatever I
[31720]    liked he was going to do immediately if not sooner will you be my man
[31721]    will you carry my can he ought to get a leather medal with a putty rim
[31722]    for all the plans he invents then leaving us here all day youd never know
[31723]    what old beggar at the door for a crust with his long story might be a
[31724]    tramp and put his foot in the way to prevent me shutting it like that
[31725]    picture of that hardened criminal he was called in Lloyds Weekly news 20
[31726]    years in jail then he comes out and murders an old woman for her money
[31727]    imagine his poor wife or mother or whoever she is such a face youd run
[31728]    miles away from I couldnt rest easy till I bolted all the doors and
[31729]    windows to make sure but its worse again being locked up like in a prison
[31730]    or a madhouse they ought to be all shot or the cat of nine tails a big
[31731]    brute like that that would attack a poor old woman to murder her in her
[31732]    bed Id cut them off him so I would not that hed be much use still better
[31733]    than nothing the night I was sure I heard burglars in the kitchen and he
[31734]    went down in his shirt with a candle and a poker as if he was looking for
[31735]    a mouse as white as a sheet frightened out of his wits making as much
[31736]    noise as he possibly could for the burglars benefit there isnt much to
[31737]    steal indeed the Lord knows still its the feeling especially now with
[31738]    Milly away such an idea for him to send the girl down there to learn to
[31739]    take photographs on account of his grandfather instead of sending her to
[31740]    Skerrys academy where shed have to learn not like me getting all IS at
[31741]    school only hed do a thing like that all the same on account of me and
[31742]    Boylan thats why he did it Im certain the way he plots and plans
[31743]    everything out I couldnt turn round with her in the place lately unless I
[31744]    bolted the door first gave me the fidgets coming in without knocking
[31745]    first when I put the chair against the door just as I was washing myself
[31746]    there below with the glove get on your nerves then doing the loglady all
[31747]    day put her in a glasscase with two at a time to look at her if he knew
[31748]    she broke off the hand off that little gimcrack statue with her roughness
[31749]    and carelessness before she left that I got that little Italian boy to
[31750]    mend so that you cant see the join for 2 shillings wouldnt even teem the
[31751]    potatoes for you of course shes right not to ruin her hands I noticed he
[31752]    was always talking to her lately at the table explaining things in the
[31753]    paper and she pretending to understand sly of course that comes from his
[31754]    side of the house he cant say I pretend things can he Im too honest as a
[31755]    matter of fact and helping her into her coat but if there was anything
[31756]    wrong with her its me shed tell not him I suppose he thinks Im finished
[31757]    out and laid on the shelf well Im not no nor anything like it well see
[31758]    well see now shes well on for flirting too with Tom Devans two sons
[31759]    imitating me whistling with those romps of Murray girls calling for her
[31760]    can Milly come out please shes in great demand to pick what they can out
[31761]    of her round in Nelson street riding Harry Devans bicycle at night its as
[31762]    well he sent her where she is she was just getting out of bounds wanting
[31763]    to go on the skatingrink and smoking their cigarettes through their nose
[31764]    I smelt it off her dress when I was biting off the thread of the button I
[31765]    sewed on to the bottom of her jacket she couldnt hide much from me I tell
[31766]    you only I oughtnt to have stitched it and it on her it brings a parting
[31767]    and the last plumpudding too split in 2 halves see it comes out no matter
[31768]    what they say her tongue is a bit too long for my taste your blouse is
[31769]    open too low she says to me the pan calling the kettle blackbottom and I
[31770]    had to tell her not to cock her legs up like that on show on the
[31771]    windowsill before all the people passing they all look at her like me
[31772]    when I was her age of course any old rag looks well on you then a great
[31773]    touchmenot too in her own way at the Only Way in the Theatre royal take
[31774]    your foot away out of that I hate people touching me afraid of her life
[31775]    Id crush her skirt with the pleats a lot of that touching must go on in
[31776]    theatres in the crush in the dark theyre always trying to wiggle up to
[31777]    you that fellow in the pit at the Gaiety for Beerbohm Tree in Trilby the
[31778]    last time Ill ever go there to be squashed like that for any Trilby or
[31779]    her barebum every two minutes tipping me there and looking away hes a bit
[31780]    daft I think I saw him after trying to get near two stylishdressed ladies
[31781]    outside Switzers window at the same little game I recognised him on the
[31782]    moment the face and everything but he didnt remember me yes and she didnt
[31783]    even want me to kiss her at the Broadstone going away well I hope shell
[31784]    get someone to dance attendance on her the way I did when she was down
[31785]    with the mumps and her glands swollen wheres this and wheres that of
[31786]    course she cant feel anything deep yet I never came properly till I was
[31787]    what 22 or so it went into the wrong place always only the usual girls
[31788]    nonsense and giggling that Conny Connolly writing to her in white ink on
[31789]    black paper sealed with sealingwax though she clapped when the curtain
[31790]    came down because he looked so handsome then we had Martin Harvey for
[31791]    breakfast dinner and supper I thought to myself afterwards it must be
[31792]    real love if a man gives up his life for her that way for nothing I
[31793]    suppose there are a few men like that left its hard to believe in it
[31794]    though unless it really happened to me the majority of them with not a
[31795]    particle of love in their natures to find two people like that nowadays
[31796]    full up of each other that would feel the same way as you do theyre
[31797]    usually a bit foolish in the head his father must have been a bit queer
[31798]    to go and poison himself after her still poor old man I suppose he felt
[31799]    lost shes always making love to my things too the few old rags I have
[31800]    wanting to put her hair up at I S my powder too only ruin her skin on her
[31801]    shes time enough for that all her life after of course shes restless
[31802]    knowing shes pretty with her lips so red a pity they wont stay that way I
[31803]    was too but theres no use going to the fair with the thing answering me
[31804]    like a fishwoman when I asked to go for a half a stone of potatoes the
[31805]    day we met Mrs Joe Gallaher at the trottingmatches and she pretended not
[31806]    to see us in her trap with Friery the solicitor we werent grand enough
[31807]    till I gave her 2 damn fine cracks across the ear for herself take that
[31808]    now for answering me like that and that for your impudence she had me
[31809]    that exasperated of course contradicting I was badtempered too because
[31810]    how was it there was a weed in the tea or I didnt sleep the night before
[31811]    cheese I ate was it and I told her over and over again not to leave
[31812]    knives crossed like that because she has nobody to command her as she
[31813]    said herself well if he doesnt correct her faith I will that was the last
[31814]    time she turned on the teartap I was just like that myself they darent
[31815]    order me about the place its his fault of course having the two of us
[31816]    slaving here instead of getting in a woman long ago am I ever going to
[31817]    have a proper servant again of course then shed see him coming Id have to
[31818]    let her know or shed revenge it arent they a nuisance that old Mrs
[31819]    Fleming you have to be walking round after her putting the things into
[31820]    her hands sneezing and farting into the pots well of course shes old she
[31821]    cant help it a good job I found that rotten old smelly dishcloth that got
[31822]    lost behind the dresser I knew there was something and opened the area
[31823]    window to let out the smell bringing in his friends to entertain them
[31824]    like the night he walked home with a dog if you please that might have
[31825]    been mad especially Simon Dedalus son his father such a criticiser with
[31826]    his glasses up with his tall hat on him at the cricket match and a great
[31827]    big hole in his sock one thing laughing at the other and his son that got
[31828]    all those prizes for whatever he won them in the intermediate imagine
[31829]    climbing over the railings if anybody saw him that knew us I wonder he
[31830]    didnt tear a big hole in his grand funeral trousers as if the one nature
[31831]    gave wasnt enough for anybody hawking him down into the dirty old kitchen
[31832]    now is he right in his head I ask pity it wasnt washing day my old pair
[31833]    of drawers might have been hanging up too on the line on exhibition for
[31834]    all hed ever care with the ironmould mark the stupid old bundle burned on
[31835]    them he might think was something else and she never even rendered down
[31836]    the fat I told her and now shes going such as she was on account of her
[31837]    paralysed husband getting worse theres always something wrong with them
[31838]    disease or they have to go under an operation or if its not that its
[31839]    drink and he beats her Ill have to hunt around again for someone every
[31840]    day I get up theres some new thing on sweet God sweet God well when Im
[31841]    stretched out dead in my grave I suppose Ill have some peace I want to
[31842]    get up a minute if Im let wait O Jesus wait yes that thing has come on me
[31843]    yes now wouldnt that afflict you of course all the poking and rooting and
[31844]    ploughing he had up in me now what am I to do Friday Saturday Sunday
[31845]    wouldnt that pester the soul out of a body unless he likes it some men do
[31846]    God knows theres always something wrong with us 5 days every 3 or 4 weeks
[31847]    usual monthly auction isnt it simply sickening that night it came on me
[31848]    like that the one and only time we were in a box that Michael Gunn gave
[31849]    him to see Mrs Kendal and her husband at the Gaiety something he did
[31850]    about insurance for him in Drimmies I was fit to be tied though I wouldnt
[31851]    give in with that gentleman of fashion staring down at me with his
[31852]    glasses and him the other side of me talking about Spinoza and his soul
[31853]    thats dead I suppose millions of years ago I smiled the best I could all
[31854]    in a swamp leaning forward as if I was interested having to sit it out
[31855]    then to the last tag I wont forget that wife of Scarli in a hurry
[31856]    supposed to be a fast play about adultery that idiot in the gallery
[31857]    hissing the woman adulteress he shouted I suppose he went and had a woman
[31858]    in the next lane running round all the back ways after to make up for it
[31859]    I wish he had what I had then hed boo I bet the cat itself is better off
[31860]    than us have we too much blood up in us or what O patience above its
[31861]    pouring out of me like the sea anyhow he didnt make me pregnant as big as
[31862]    he is I dont want to ruin the clean sheets I just put on I suppose the
[31863]    clean linen I wore brought it on too damn it damn it and they always want
[31864]    to see a stain on the bed to know youre a virgin for them all thats
[31865]    troubling them theyre such fools too you could be a widow or divorced 40
[31866]    times over a daub of red ink would do or blackberry juice no thats too
[31867]    purply O Jamesy let me up out of this pooh sweets of sin whoever
[31868]    suggested that business for women what between clothes and cooking and
[31869]    children this damned old bed too jingling like the dickens I suppose they
[31870]    could hear us away over the other side of the park till I suggested to
[31871]    put the quilt on the floor with the pillow under my bottom I wonder is it
[31872]    nicer in the day I think it is easy I think Ill cut all this hair off me
[31873]    there scalding me I might look like a young girl wouldnt he get the great
[31874]    suckin the next time he turned up my clothes on me Id give anything to
[31875]    see his face wheres the chamber gone easy Ive a holy horror of its
[31876]    breaking under me after that old commode I wonder was I too heavy sitting
[31877]    on his knee I made him sit on the easychair purposely when I took off
[31878]    only my blouse and skirt first in the other room he was so busy where he
[31879]    oughtnt to be he never felt me I hope my breath was sweet after those
[31880]    kissing comfits easy God I remember one time I could scout it out
[31881]    straight whistling like a man almost easy O Lord how noisy I hope theyre
[31882]    bubbles on it for a wad of money from some fellow Ill have to perfume it
[31883]    in the morning dont forget I bet he never saw a better pair of thighs
[31884]    than that look how white they are the smoothest place is right there
[31885]    between this bit here how soft like a peach easy God I wouldnt mind being
[31886]    a man and get up on a lovely woman O Lord what a row youre making like
[31887]    the jersey lily easy easy O how the waters come down at Lahore
[31888]    
[31889]    who knows is there anything the matter with my insides or have I
[31890]    something growing in me getting that thing like that every week when was
[31891]    it last I Whit Monday yes its only about 3 weeks I ought to go to the
[31892]    doctor only it would be like before I married him when I had that white
[31893]    thing coming from me and Floey made me go to that dry old stick Dr
[31894]    Collins for womens diseases on Pembroke road your vagina he called it I
[31895]    suppose thats how he got all the gilt mirrors and carpets getting round
[31896]    those rich ones off Stephens green running up to him for every little
[31897]    fiddlefaddle her vagina and her cochinchina theyve money of course so
[31898]    theyre all right I wouldnt marry him not if he was the last man in the
[31899]    world besides theres something queer about their children always smelling
[31900]    around those filthy bitches all sides asking me if what I did had an
[31901]    offensive odour what did he want me to do but the one thing gold maybe
[31902]    what a question if I smathered it all over his wrinkly old face for him
[31903]    with all my compriments I suppose hed know then and could you pass it
[31904]    easily pass what I thought he was talking about the rock of Gibraltar the
[31905]    way he put it thats a very nice invention too by the way only I like
[31906]    letting myself down after in the hole as far as I can squeeze and pull
[31907]    the chain then to flush it nice cool pins and needles still theres
[31908]    something in it I suppose I always used to know by Millys when she was a
[31909]    child whether she had worms or not still all the same paying him for that
[31910]    how much is that doctor one guinea please and asking me had I frequent
[31911]    omissions where do those old fellows get all the words they have
[31912]    omissions with his shortsighted eyes on me cocked sideways I wouldnt
[31913]    trust him too far to give me chloroform or God knows what else still I
[31914]    liked him when he sat down to write the thing out frowning so severe his
[31915]    nose intelligent like that you be damned you lying strap O anything no
[31916]    matter who except an idiot he was clever enough to spot that of course
[31917]    that was all thinking of him and his mad crazy letters my Precious one
[31918]    everything connected with your glorious Body everything underlined that
[31919]    comes from it is a thing of beauty and of joy for ever something he got
[31920]    out of some nonsensical book that he had me always at myself 4 and 5
[31921]    times a day sometimes and I said I hadnt are you sure O yes I said I am
[31922]    quite sure in a way that shut him up I knew what was coming next only
[31923]    natural weakness it was he excited me I dont know how the first night
[31924]    ever we met when I was living in Rehoboth terrace we stood staring at one
[31925]    another for about 10 minutes as if we met somewhere I suppose on account
[31926]    of my being jewess looking after my mother he used to amuse me the things
[31927]    he said with the half sloothering smile on him and all the Doyles said he
[31928]    was going to stand for a member of Parliament O wasnt I the born fool to
[31929]    believe all his blather about home rule and the land league sending me
[31930]    that long strool of a song out of the Huguenots to sing in French to be
[31931]    more classy O beau pays de la Touraine that I never even sang once
[31932]    explaining and rigmaroling about religion and persecution he wont let you
[31933]    enjoy anything naturally then might he as a great favour the very 1st
[31934]    opportunity he got a chance in Brighton square running into my bedroom
[31935]    pretending the ink got on his hands to wash it off with the Albion milk
[31936]    and sulphur soap I used to use and the gelatine still round it O I
[31937]    laughed myself sick at him that day I better not make an alnight sitting
[31938]    on this affair they ought to make chambers a natural size so that a woman
[31939]    could sit on it properly he kneels down to do it I suppose there isnt in
[31940]    all creation another man with the habits he has look at the way hes
[31941]    sleeping at the foot of the bed how can he without a hard bolster its
[31942]    well he doesnt kick or he might knock out all my teeth breathing with his
[31943]    hand on his nose like that Indian god he took me to show one wet Sunday
[31944]    in the museum in Kildare street all yellow in a pinafore lying on his
[31945]    side on his hand with his ten toes sticking out that he said was a bigger
[31946]    religion than the jews and Our Lords both put together all over Asia
[31947]    imitating him as hes always imitating everybody I suppose he used to
[31948]    sleep at the foot of the bed too with his big square feet up in his wifes
[31949]    mouth damn this stinking thing anyway wheres this those napkins are ah
[31950]    yes I know I hope the old press doesnt creak ah I knew it would hes
[31951]    sleeping hard had a good time somewhere still she must have given him
[31952]    great value for his money of course he has to pay for it from her O this
[31953]    nuisance of a thing I hope theyll have something better for us in the
[31954]    other world tying ourselves up God help us thats all right for tonight
[31955]    now the lumpy old jingly bed always reminds me of old Cohen I suppose he
[31956]    scratched himself in it often enough and he thinks father bought it from
[31957]    Lord Napier that I used to admire when I was a little girl because I told
[31958]    him easy piano O I like my bed God here we are as bad as ever after 16
[31959]    years how many houses were we in at all Raymond terrace and Ontario
[31960]    terrace and Lombard street and Holles street and he goes about whistling
[31961]    every time were on the run again his huguenots or the frogs march
[31962]    pretending to help the men with our 4 sticks of furniture and then the
[31963]    City Arms hotel worse and worse says Warden Daly that charming place on
[31964]    the landing always somebody inside praying then leaving all their stinks
[31965]    after them always know who was in there last every time were just getting
[31966]    on right something happens or he puts his big foot in it Thoms and Helys
[31967]    and Mr Cuffes and Drimmies either hes going to be run into prison over
[31968]    his old lottery tickets that was to be all our salvations or he goes and
[31969]    gives impudence well have him coming home with the sack soon out of the
[31970]    Freeman too like the rest on account of those Sinner Fein or the
[31971]    freemasons then well see if the little man he showed me dribbling along
[31972]    in the wet all by himself round by Coadys lane will give him much
[31973]    consolation that he says is so capable and sincerely Irish he is indeed
[31974]    judging by the sincerity of the trousers I saw on him wait theres Georges
[31975]    church bells wait 3 quarters the hour l wait 2 oclock well thats a nice
[31976]    hour of the night for him to be coming home at to anybody climbing down
[31977]    into the area if anybody saw him Ill knock him off that little habit
[31978]    tomorrow first Ill look at his shirt to see or Ill see if he has that
[31979]    French letter still in his pocketbook I suppose he thinks I dont know
[31980]    deceitful men all their 20 pockets arent enough for their lies then why
[31981]    should we tell them even if its the truth they dont believe you then
[31982]    tucked up in bed like those babies in the Aristocrats Masterpiece he
[31983]    brought me another time as if we hadnt enough of that in real life
[31984]    without some old Aristocrat or whatever his name is disgusting you more
[31985]    with those rotten pictures children with two heads and no legs thats the
[31986]    kind of villainy theyre always dreaming about with not another thing in
[31987]    their empty heads they ought to get slow poison the half of them then tea
[31988]    and toast for him buttered on both sides and newlaid eggs I suppose Im
[31989]    nothing any more when I wouldnt let him lick me in Holles street one
[31990]    night man man tyrant as ever for the one thing he slept on the floor half
[31991]    the night naked the way the jews used when somebody dies belonged to them
[31992]    and wouldnt eat any breakfast or speak a word wanting to be petted so I
[31993]    thought I stood out enough for one time and let him he does it all wrong
[31994]    too thinking only of his own pleasure his tongue is too flat or I dont
[31995]    know what he forgets that wethen I dont Ill make him do it again if he
[31996]    doesnt mind himself and lock him down to sleep in the coalcellar with the
[31997]    blackbeetles I wonder was it her Josie off her head with my castoffs hes
[31998]    such a born liar too no hed never have the courage with a married woman
[31999]    thats why he wants me and Boylan though as for her Denis as she calls him
[32000]    that forlornlooking spectacle you couldnt call him a husband yes its some
[32001]    little bitch hes got in with even when I was with him with Milly at the
[32002]    College races that Hornblower with the childs bonnet on the top of his
[32003]    nob let us into by the back way he was throwing his sheeps eyes at those
[32004]    two doing skirt duty up and down I tried to wink at him first no use of
[32005]    course and thats the way his money goes this is the fruits of Mr Paddy
[32006]    Dignam yes they were all in great style at the grand funeral in the paper
[32007]    Boylan brought in if they saw a real officers funeral thatd be something
[32008]    reversed arms muffled drums the poor horse walking behind in black L Boom
[32009]    and Tom Kernan that drunken little barrelly man that bit his tongue off
[32010]    falling down the mens W C drunk in some place or other and Martin
[32011]    Cunningham and the two Dedaluses and Fanny MCoys husband white head of
[32012]    cabbage skinny thing with a turn in her eye trying to sing my songs shed
[32013]    want to be born all over again and her old green dress with the lowneck
[32014]    as she cant attract them any other way like dabbling on a rainy day I see
[32015]    it all now plainly and they call that friendship killing and then burying
[32016]    one another and they all with their wives and families at home more
[32017]    especially Jack Power keeping that barmaid he does of course his wife is
[32018]    always sick or going to be sick or just getting better of it and hes a
[32019]    goodlooking man still though hes getting a bit grey over the ears theyre
[32020]    a nice lot all of them well theyre not going to get my husband again into
[32021]    their clutches if I can help it making fun of him then behind his back I
[32022]    know well when he goes on with his idiotics because he has sense enough
[32023]    not to squander every penny piece he earns down their gullets and looks
[32024]    after his wife and family goodfornothings poor Paddy Dignam all the same
[32025]    Im sorry in a way for him what are his wife and 5 children going to do
[32026]    unless he was insured comical little teetotum always stuck up in some pub
[32027]    corner and her or her son waiting Bill Bailey wont you please come home
[32028]    her widows weeds wont improve her appearance theyre awfully becoming
[32029]    though if youre goodlooking what men wasnt he yes he was at the Glencree
[32030]    dinner and Ben Dollard base barreltone the night he borrowed the
[32031]    swallowtail to sing out of in Holles street squeezed and squashed into
[32032]    them and grinning all over his big Dolly face like a wellwhipped childs
[32033]    botty didnt he look a balmy ballocks sure enough that must have been a
[32034]    spectacle on the stage imagine paying 5/- in the preserved seats for that
[32035]    to see him trotting off in his trowlers and Simon Dedalus too he was
[32036]    always turning up half screwed singing the second verse first the old
[32037]    love is the new was one of his so sweetly sang the maiden on the hawthorn
[32038]    bough he was always on for flirtyfying too when I sang Maritana with him
[32039]    at Freddy Mayers private opera he had a delicious glorious voice Phoebe
[32040]    dearest goodbye sweetheart SWEETheart he always sang it not like Bartell
[32041]    Darcy sweet tart goodbye of course he had the gift of the voice so there
[32042]    was no art in it all over you like a warm showerbath O Maritana wildwood
[32043]    flower we sang splendidly though it was a bit too high for my register
[32044]    even transposed and he was married at the time to May Goulding but then
[32045]    hed say or do something to knock the good out of it hes a widower now I
[32046]    wonder what sort is his son he says hes an author and going to be a
[32047]    university professor of Italian and Im to take lessons what is he driving
[32048]    at now showing him my photo its not good of me I ought to have got it
[32049]    taken in drapery that never looks out of fashion still I look young in it
[32050]    I wonder he didnt make him a present of it altogether and me too after
[32051]    all why not I saw him driving down to the Kingsbridge station with his
[32052]    father and mother I was in mourning thats 11 years ago now yes hed be 11
[32053]    though what was the good in going into mourning for what was neither one
[32054]    thing nor the other the first cry was enough for me I heard the
[32055]    deathwatch too ticking in the wall of course he insisted hed go into
[32056]    mourning for the cat I suppose hes a man now by this time he was an
[32057]    innocent boy then and a darling little fellow in his lord Fauntleroy suit
[32058]    and curly hair like a prince on the stage when I saw him at Mat Dillons
[32059]    he liked me too I remember they all do wait by God yes wait yes hold on
[32060]    he was on the cards this morning when I laid out the deck union with a
[32061]    young stranger neither dark nor fair you met before I thought it meant
[32062]    him but hes no chicken nor a stranger either besides my face was turned
[32063]    the other way what was the 7th card after that the 10 of spades for a
[32064]    journey by land then there was a letter on its way and scandals too the 3
[32065]    queens and the 8 of diamonds for a rise in society yes wait it all came
[32066]    out and 2 red 8s for new garments look at that and didnt I dream
[32067]    something too yes there was something about poetry in it I hope he hasnt
[32068]    long greasy hair hanging into his eyes or standing up like a red Indian
[32069]    what do they go about like that for only getting themselves and their
[32070]    poetry laughed at I always liked poetry when I was a girl first I thought
[32071]    he was a poet like lord Byron and not an ounce of it in his composition I
[32072]    thought he was quite different I wonder is he too young hes about wait 88
[32073]    I was married 88 Milly is 15 yesterday 89 what age was he then at Dillons
[32074]    5 or 6 about 88 I suppose hes 20 or more Im not too old for him if hes 23
[32075]    or 24 I hope hes not that stuckup university student sort no otherwise he
[32076]    wouldnt go sitting down in the old kitchen with him taking Eppss cocoa
[32077]    and talking of course he pretended to understand it all probably he told
[32078]    him he was out of Trinity college hes very young to be a professor I hope
[32079]    hes not a professor like Goodwin was he was a potent professor of John
[32080]    Jameson they all write about some woman in their poetry well I suppose he
[32081]    wont find many like me where softly sighs of love the light guitar where
[32082]    poetry is in the air the blue sea and the moon shining so beautifully
[32083]    coming back on the nightboat from Tarifa the lighthouse at Europa point
[32084]    the guitar that fellow played was so expressive will I ever go back there
[32085]    again all new faces two glancing eyes a lattice hid Ill sing that for him
[32086]    theyre my eyes if hes anything of a poet two eyes as darkly bright as
[32087]    loves own star arent those beautiful words as loves young star itll be a
[32088]    change the Lord knows to have an intelligent person to talk to about
[32089]    yourself not always listening to him and Billy Prescotts ad and Keyess ad
[32090]    and Tom the Devils ad then if anything goes wrong in their business we
[32091]    have to suffer Im sure hes very distinguished Id like to meet a man like
[32092]    that God not those other ruck besides hes young those fine young men I
[32093]    could see down in Margate strand bathingplace from the side of the rock
[32094]    standing up in the sun naked like a God or something and then plunging
[32095]    into the sea with them why arent all men like that thered be some
[32096]    consolation for a woman like that lovely little statue he bought I could
[32097]    look at him all day long curly head and his shoulders his finger up for
[32098]    you to listen theres real beauty and poetry for you I often felt I wanted
[32099]    to kiss him all over also his lovely young cock there so simple I wouldnt
[32100]    mind taking him in my mouth if nobody was looking as if it was asking you
[32101]    to suck it so clean and white he looks with his boyish face I would too
[32102]    in 1/2 a minute even if some of it went down what its only like gruel or
[32103]    the dew theres no danger besides hed be so clean compared with those pigs
[32104]    of men I suppose never dream of washing it from I years end to the other
[32105]    the most of them only thats what gives the women the moustaches Im sure
[32106]    itll be grand if I can only get in with a handsome young poet at my age
[32107]    Ill throw them the 1st thing in the morning till I see if the wishcard
[32108]    comes out or Ill try pairing the lady herself and see if he comes out Ill
[32109]    read and study all I can find or learn a bit off by heart if I knew who
[32110]    he likes so he wont think me stupid if he thinks all women are the same
[32111]    and I can teach him the other part Ill make him feel all over him till he
[32112]    half faints under me then hell write about me lover and mistress publicly
[32113]    too with our 2 photographs in all the papers when he becomes famous O but
[32114]    then what am I going to do about him though
[32115]    
[32116]    no thats no way for him has he no manners nor no refinement nor no
[32117]    nothing in his nature slapping us behind like that on my bottom because I
[32118]    didnt call him Hugh the ignoramus that doesnt know poetry from a cabbage
[32119]    thats what you get for not keeping them in their proper place pulling off
[32120]    his shoes and trousers there on the chair before me so barefaced without
[32121]    even asking permission and standing out that vulgar way in the half of a
[32122]    shirt they wear to be admired like a priest or a butcher or those old
[32123]    hypocrites in the time of Julius Caesar of course hes right enough in his
[32124]    way to pass the time as a joke sure you might as well be in bed with what
[32125]    with a lion God Im sure hed have something better to say for himself an
[32126]    old Lion would O well I suppose its because they were so plump and
[32127]    tempting in my short petticoat he couldnt resist they excite myself
[32128]    sometimes its well for men all the amount of pleasure they get off a
[32129]    womans body were so round and white for them always I wished I was one
[32130]    myself for a change just to try with that thing they have swelling up on
[32131]    you so hard and at the same time so soft when you touch it my uncle John
[32132]    has a thing long I heard those cornerboys saying passing the comer of
[32133]    Marrowbone lane my aunt Mary has a thing hairy because it was dark and
[32134]    they knew a girl was passing it didnt make me blush why should it either
[32135]    its only nature and he puts his thing long into my aunt Marys hairy
[32136]    etcetera and turns out to be you put the handle in a sweepingbrush men
[32137]    again all over they can pick and choose what they please a married woman
[32138]    or a fast widow or a girl for their different tastes like those houses
[32139]    round behind Irish street no but were to be always chained up theyre not
[32140]    going to be chaining me up no damn fear once I start I tell you for their
[32141]    stupid husbands jealousy why cant we all remain friends over it instead
[32142]    of quarrelling her husband found it out what they did together well
[32143]    naturally and if he did can he undo it hes coronado anyway whatever he
[32144]    does and then he going to the other mad extreme about the wife in Fair
[32145]    Tyrants of course the man never even casts a 2nd thought on the husband
[32146]    or wife either its the woman he wants and he gets her what else were we
[32147]    given all those desires for Id like to know I cant help it if Im young
[32148]    still can I its a wonder Im not an old shrivelled hag before my time
[32149]    living with him so cold never embracing me except sometimes when hes
[32150]    asleep the wrong end of me not knowing I suppose who he has any man thatd
[32151]    kiss a womans bottom Id throw my hat at him after that hed kiss anything
[32152]    unnatural where we havent I atom of any kind of expression in us all of
[32153]    us the same 2 lumps of lard before ever Id do that to a man pfooh the
[32154]    dirty brutes the mere thought is enough I kiss the feet of you senorita
[32155]    theres some sense in that didnt he kiss our halldoor yes he did what a
[32156]    madman nobody understands his cracked ideas but me still of course a
[32157]    woman wants to be embraced 20 times a day almost to make her look young
[32158]    no matter by who so long as to be in love or loved by somebody if the
[32159]    fellow you want isnt there sometimes by the Lord God I was thinking would
[32160]    I go around by the quays there some dark evening where nobodyd know me
[32161]    and pick up a sailor off the sea thatd be hot on for it and not care a
[32162]    pin whose I was only do it off up in a gate somewhere or one of those
[32163]    wildlooking gipsies in Rathfarnham had their camp pitched near the
[32164]    Bloomfield laundry to try and steal our things if they could I only sent
[32165]    mine there a few times for the name model laundry sending me back over
[32166]    and over some old ones odd stockings that blackguardlooking fellow with
[32167]    the fine eyes peeling a switch attack me in the dark and ride me up
[32168]    against the wall without a word or a murderer anybody what they do
[32169]    themselves the fine gentlemen in their silk hats that K C lives up
[32170]    somewhere this way coming out of Hardwicke lane the night he gave us the
[32171]    fish supper on account of winning over the boxing match of course it was
[32172]    for me he gave it I knew him by his gaiters and the walk and when I
[32173]    turned round a minute after just to see there was a woman after coming
[32174]    out of it too some filthy prostitute then he goes home to his wife after
[32175]    that only I suppose the half of those sailors are rotten again with
[32176]    disease O move over your big carcass out of that for the love of Mike
[32177]    listen to him the winds that waft my sighs to thee so well he may sleep
[32178]    and sigh the great Suggester Don Poldo de la Flora if he knew how he came
[32179]    out on the cards this morning hed have something to sigh for a dark man
[32180]    in some perplexity between 2 7s too in prison for Lord knows what he does
[32181]    that I dont know and Im to be slooching around down in the kitchen to get
[32182]    his lordship his breakfast while hes rolled up like a mummy will I indeed
[32183]    did you ever see me running Id just like to see myself at it show them
[32184]    attention and they treat you like dirt I dont care what anybody says itd
[32185]    be much better for the world to be governed by the women in it you
[32186]    wouldnt see women going and killing one another and slaughtering when do
[32187]    you ever see women rolling around drunk like they do or gambling every
[32188]    penny they have and losing it on horses yes because a woman whatever she
[32189]    does she knows where to stop sure they wouldnt be in the world at all
[32190]    only for us they dont know what it is to be a woman and a mother how
[32191]    could they where would they all of them be if they hadnt all a mother to
[32192]    look after them what I never had thats why I suppose hes running wild now
[32193]    out at night away from his books and studies and not living at home on
[32194]    account of the usual rowy house I suppose well its a poor case that those
[32195]    that have a fine son like that theyre not satisfied and I none was he not
[32196]    able to make one it wasnt my fault we came together when I was watching
[32197]    the two dogs up in her behind in the middle of the naked street that
[32198]    disheartened me altogether I suppose I oughtnt to have buried him in that
[32199]    little woolly jacket I knitted crying as I was but give it to some poor
[32200]    child but I knew well Id never have another our 1st death too it was we
[32201]    were never the same since O Im not going to think myself into the glooms
[32202]    about that any more I wonder why he wouldnt stay the night I felt all the
[32203]    time it was somebody strange he brought in instead of roving around the
[32204]    city meeting God knows who nightwalkers and pickpockets his poor mother
[32205]    wouldnt like that if she was alive ruining himself for life perhaps still
[32206]    its a lovely hour so silent I used to love coming home after dances the
[32207]    air of the night they have friends they can talk to weve none either he
[32208]    wants what he wont get or its some woman ready to stick her knife in you
[32209]    I hate that in women no wonder they treat us the way they do we are a
[32210]    dreadful lot of bitches I suppose its all the troubles we have makes us
[32211]    so snappy Im not like that he could easy have slept in there on the sofa
[32212]    in the other room I suppose he was as shy as a boy he being so young
[32213]    hardly 20 of me in the next room hed have heard me on the chamber arrah
[32214]    what harm Dedalus I wonder its like those names in Gibraltar Delapaz
[32215]    Delagracia they had the devils queer names there father Vilaplana of
[32216]    Santa Maria that gave me the rosary Rosales y OReilly in the Calle las
[32217]    Siete Revueltas and Pisimbo and Mrs Opisso in Governor street O what a
[32218]    name Id go and drown myself in the first river if I had a name like her O
[32219]    my and all the bits of streets Paradise ramp and Bedlam ramp and Rodgers
[32220]    ramp and Crutchetts ramp and the devils gap steps well small blame to me
[32221]    if I am a harumscarum I know I am a bit I declare to God I dont feel a
[32222]    day older than then I wonder could I get my tongue round any of the
[32223]    Spanish como esta usted muy bien gracias y usted see I havent forgotten
[32224]    it all I thought I had only for the grammar a noun is the name of any
[32225]    person place or thing pity I never tried to read that novel cantankerous
[32226]    Mrs Rubio lent me by Valera with the questions in it all upside down the
[32227]    two ways I always knew wed go away in the end I can tell him the Spanish
[32228]    and he tell me the Italian then hell see Im not so ignorant what a pity
[32229]    he didnt stay Im sure the poor fellow was dead tired and wanted a good
[32230]    sleep badly I could have brought him in his breakfast in bed with a bit
[32231]    of toast so long as I didnt do it on the knife for bad luck or if the
[32232]    woman was going her rounds with the watercress and something nice and
[32233]    tasty there are a few olives in the kitchen he might like I never could
[32234]    bear the look of them in Abrines I could do the criada the room looks all
[32235]    right since I changed it the other way you see something was telling me
[32236]    all the time Id have to introduce myself not knowing me from Adam very
[32237]    funny wouldnt it Im his wife or pretend we were in Spain with him half
[32238]    awake without a Gods notion where he is dos huevos estrellados senor Lord
[32239]    the cracked things come into my head sometimes itd be great fun supposing
[32240]    he stayed with us why not theres the room upstairs empty and Millys bed
[32241]    in the back room he could do his writing and studies at the table in
[32242]    there for all the scribbling he does at it and if he wants to read in bed
[32243]    in the morning like me as hes making the breakfast for I he can make it
[32244]    for 2 Im sure Im not going to take in lodgers off the street for him if
[32245]    he takes a gesabo of a house like this Id love to have a long talk with
[32246]    an intelligent welleducated person Id have to get a nice pair of red
[32247]    slippers like those Turks with the fez used to sell or yellow and a nice
[32248]    semitransparent morning gown that I badly want or a peachblossom dressing
[32249]    jacket like the one long ago in Walpoles only 8/6 or 18/6 Ill just give
[32250]    him one more chance Ill get up early in the morning Im sick of Cohens old
[32251]    bed in any case I might go over to the markets to see all the vegetables
[32252]    and cabbages and tomatoes and carrots and all kinds of splendid fruits
[32253]    all coming in lovely and fresh who knows whod be the 1st man Id meet
[32254]    theyre out looking for it in the morning Mamy Dillon used to say they are
[32255]    and the night too that was her massgoing Id love a big juicy pear now to
[32256]    melt in your mouth like when I used to be in the longing way then Ill
[32257]    throw him up his eggs and tea in the moustachecup she gave him to make
[32258]    his mouth bigger I suppose hed like my nice cream too I know what Ill do
[32259]    Ill go about rather gay not too much singing a bit now and then mi fa
[32260]    pieta Masetto then Ill start dressing myself to go out presto non son piu
[32261]    forte Ill put on my best shift and drawers let him have a good eyeful out
[32262]    of that to make his micky stand for him Ill let him know if thats what he
[32263]    wanted that his wife is I s l o fucked yes and damn well fucked too up to
[32264]    my neck nearly not by him 5 or 6 times handrunning theres the mark of his
[32265]    spunk on the clean sheet I wouldnt bother to even iron it out that ought
[32266]    to satisfy him if you dont believe me feel my belly unless I made him
[32267]    stand there and put him into me Ive a mind to tell him every scrap and
[32268]    make him do it out in front of me serve him right its all his own fault
[32269]    if I am an adulteress as the thing in the gallery said O much about it if
[32270]    thats all the harm ever we did in this vale of tears God knows its not
[32271]    much doesnt everybody only they hide it I suppose thats what a woman is
[32272]    supposed to be there for or He wouldnt have made us the way He did so
[32273]    attractive to men then if he wants to kiss my bottom Ill drag open my
[32274]    drawers and bulge it right out in his face as large as life he can stick
[32275]    his tongue 7 miles up my hole as hes there my brown part then Ill tell
[32276]    him I want LI or perhaps 30/- Ill tell him I want to buy underclothes
[32277]    then if he gives me that well he wont be too bad I dont want to soak it
[32278]    all out of him like other women do I could often have written out a fine
[32279]    cheque for myself and write his name on it for a couple of pounds a few
[32280]    times he forgot to lock it up besides he wont spend it Ill let him do it
[32281]    off on me behind provided he doesnt smear all my good drawers O I suppose
[32282]    that cant be helped Ill do the indifferent l or 2 questions Ill know by
[32283]    the answers when hes like that he cant keep a thing back I know every
[32284]    turn in him Ill tighten my bottom well and let out a few smutty words
[32285]    smellrump or lick my shit or the first mad thing comes into my head then
[32286]    Ill suggest about yes O wait now sonny my turn is coming Ill be quite gay
[32287]    and friendly over it O but I was forgetting this bloody pest of a thing
[32288]    pfooh you wouldnt know which to laugh or cry were such a mixture of plum
[32289]    and apple no Ill have to wear the old things so much the better itll be
[32290]    more pointed hell never know whether he did it or not there thats good
[32291]    enough for you any old thing at all then Ill wipe him off me just like a
[32292]    business his omission then Ill go out Ill have him eying up at the
[32293]    ceiling where is she gone now make him want me thats the only way a
[32294]    quarter after what an unearthly hour I suppose theyre just getting up in
[32295]    China now combing out their pigtails for the day well soon have the nuns
[32296]    ringing the angelus theyve nobody coming in to spoil their sleep except
[32297]    an odd priest or two for his night office or the alarmclock next door at
[32298]    cockshout clattering the brains out of itself let me see if I can doze
[32299]    off 1 2 3 4 5 what kind of flowers are those they invented like the stars
[32300]    the wallpaper in Lombard street was much nicer the apron he gave me was
[32301]    like that something only I only wore it twice better lower this lamp and
[32302]    try again so as I can get up early Ill go to Lambes there beside
[32303]    Findlaters and get them to send us some flowers to put about the place in
[32304]    case he brings him home tomorrow today I mean no no Fridays an unlucky
[32305]    day first I want to do the place up someway the dust grows in it I think
[32306]    while Im asleep then we can have music and cigarettes I can accompany him
[32307]    first I must clean the keys of the piano with milk whatll I wear shall I
[32308]    wear a white rose or those fairy cakes in Liptons I love the smell of a
[32309]    rich big shop at 7 1/2d a lb or the other ones with the cherries in them
[32310]    and the pinky sugar 11d a couple of lbs of those a nice plant for the
[32311]    middle of the table Id get that cheaper in wait wheres this I saw them
[32312]    not long ago I love flowers Id love to have the whole place swimming in
[32313]    roses God of heaven theres nothing like nature the wild mountains then
[32314]    the sea and the waves rushing then the beautiful country with the fields
[32315]    of oats and wheat and all kinds of things and all the fine cattle going
[32316]    about that would do your heart good to see rivers and lakes and flowers
[32317]    all sorts of shapes and smells and colours springing up even out of the
[32318]    ditches primroses and violets nature it is as for them saying theres no
[32319]    God I wouldnt give a snap of my two fingers for all their learning why
[32320]    dont they go and create something I often asked him atheists or whatever
[32321]    they call themselves go and wash the cobbles off themselves first then
[32322]    they go howling for the priest and they dying and why why because theyre
[32323]    afraid of hell on account of their bad conscience ah yes I know them well
[32324]    who was the first person in the universe before there was anybody that
[32325]    made it all who ah that they dont know neither do I so there you are they
[32326]    might as well try to stop the sun from rising tomorrow the sun shines for
[32327]    you he said the day we were lying among the rhododendrons on Howth head
[32328]    in the grey tweed suit and his straw hat the day I got him to propose to
[32329]    me yes first I gave him the bit of seedcake out of my mouth and it was
[32330]    leapyear like now yes 16 years ago my God after that long kiss I near
[32331]    lost my breath yes he said I was a flower of the mountain yes so we are
[32332]    flowers all a womans body yes that was one true thing he said in his life
[32333]    and the sun shines for you today yes that was why I liked him because I
[32334]    saw he understood or felt what a woman is and I knew I could always get
[32335]    round him and I gave him all the pleasure I could leading him on till he
[32336]    asked me to say yes and I wouldnt answer first only looked out over the
[32337]    sea and the sky I was thinking of so many things he didnt know of Mulvey
[32338]    and Mr Stanhope and Hester and father and old captain Groves and the
[32339]    sailors playing all birds fly and I say stoop and washing up dishes they
[32340]    called it on the pier and the sentry in front of the governors house with
[32341]    the thing round his white helmet poor devil half roasted and the Spanish
[32342]    girls laughing in their shawls and their tall combs and the auctions in
[32343]    the morning the Greeks and the jews and the Arabs and the devil knows who
[32344]    else from all the ends of Europe and Duke street and the fowl market all
[32345]    clucking outside Larby Sharons and the poor donkeys slipping half asleep
[32346]    and the vague fellows in the cloaks asleep in the shade on the steps and
[32347]    the big wheels of the carts of the bulls and the old castle thousands of
[32348]    years old yes and those handsome Moors all in white and turbans like
[32349]    kings asking you to sit down in their little bit of a shop and Ronda with
[32350]    the old windows of the posadas 2 glancing eyes a lattice hid for her
[32351]    lover to kiss the iron and the wineshops half open at night and the
[32352]    castanets and the night we missed the boat at Algeciras the watchman
[32353]    going about serene with his lamp and O that awful deepdown torrent O and
[32354]    the sea the sea crimson sometimes like fire and the glorious sunsets and
[32355]    the figtrees in the Alameda gardens yes and all the queer little streets
[32356]    and the pink and blue and yellow houses and the rosegardens and the
[32357]    jessamine and geraniums and cactuses and Gibraltar as a girl where I was
[32358]    a Flower of the mountain yes when I put the rose in my hair like the
[32359]    Andalusian girls used or shall I wear a red yes and how he kissed me
[32360]    under the Moorish wall and I thought well as well him as another and then
[32361]    I asked him with my eyes to ask again yes and then he asked me would I
[32362]    yes to say yes my mountain flower and first I put my arms around him yes
[32363]    and drew him down to me so he could feel my breasts all perfume yes and
[32364]    his heart was going like mad and yes I said yes I will Yes.